Tides and Ebbs of Honesty
by Marcab
Summary: Set in the aftermath of Sasuke's clash with Itachi.More or less moments that each character spoke their mind or not. Shonen-ai. Chapter 37 is the grant finale. Naruto and Sasuke finally talk... and decide. I hope it's everything you guys were expecting..
1. Tide 1: Blood

**Author's note:** I will dedicate this story to the wonderful people who took the time to review my first one-shot. Thank you guys… you gave me the extra boost in confidence to give this multi-chapter a go. 

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… wish I did… but don't. ::picks up and daisy and starts plucking:: Do, don't, do, don't…. Heh

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

* * *

Tide 1:_ Blood_

Quiet.

A silence like to death itself choked every sound in the forest. Everything bathed in the reds and angry yellows of sunset, awaiting the merciful dive into paler hues and then the thick nightfall that might coat the ugliness of the scene in obscurity. The bodies of three men were splayed on the blood soaked grounds. One further in the distance and two lying across from each other. Though the signs of battle pointed to mayhem and carnage, the scene was eerily serene, lacking any motion that suggested effort or sound that suggested pain.

Heavy panting broke the silent spell as the blonde forced his body to move- in spite of broken bones and deep gushes- to move closer and drop next to the dark-haired man. "Sasuke…?"

Trust Naruto to be loud.

It wasn't his voice that was loud per se. Contrary to the obnoxious volume that seemed to be his natural, his voice was now barely above a whisper, yet echoing with so many questions, it was almost deafening to the raven. 'Are you awake'? 'Are you alive'? 'Can you hear me'? Naruto's voice was thick with desperation and worry. 'Have I failed'? 'Are you really dead, you bastard'? Sasuke could hear all those questions and more. He had once told him that ninjas who are close know each other's thoughts. Maybe it was true.

"Still here, Dobe…" he said, attempting and almost succeeding at hiding the effort it required of him behind his trademark nonchalance.

"Don't call me that, Teme…" Naruto spat back, attempting and failing to cover his relief behind his trademark irritation. He allowed his eyelids to mercifully fall over his eyes as he inched closer to Sasuke. "Lets see you try to run away now…" he muttered into the ground, pretty confident that the other's ears would not catch the challenge.

Sasuke blinked, finding it hard to focus through the exhaustion. His eyes lingered on Naruto, not really studying him or even thinking. The blood-loss was making him sluggish.

"Nice going there, Teme, you almost got us both killed…"

Naruto's tone was sharp and Sasuke couldn't decide if it was the pain, a taunt or if the blonde really meant to chastise him. Maybe he couldn't read his thoughts as well as he liked to think. Maybe he was year behind. "No one asked you to get involved." It was true. "I didn't need your help." Not as true.

"Shut up, bastard." Naruto groaned. "I made a promise-"

"Don't start with your way of the ninja, Naruto." He said in a tone full of exasperation and amusement. "If I'd going to die here, I'd appreciate it if that wasn't the last thing I heard, 'dattebayo'."

As expected the blonde got riled up. "I can't believe you, bastard! You don't want to hear about my 'way of the ninja' at your final moments, but you're fine mocking me?!"

Sasuke tried to smirk. "Isn't that how we're supposed to die?"

"We're not supposed to die, baka." Naruto grumbled.

They were silent for a while, just breathing. Sasuke could tell that Naruto was waiting for help the way his eyes kept darting into the forest. He huffed, mostly at himself, because he realized that, for all his cold declarations, he was not ready to die. _Life and afterlife, huh…_ And for all his big words about severing bonds, a morbid part of him was glad that Naruto was there.

His dark eyes lingered on Itachi's immobile form, far in the distance. It was somehow unfair that his brother looked in a far better shape in death than either of them. For a cruel moment he wished that there were no more Uchihas to mourn or remember or carry on a legacy that was drenched in blood down to the last survivor.

"It's over…" he muttered, to himself more than anyone. He felt strangely empty and lost. Itachi was dead. He thought he'd be relieved or feel vindicated, but all that was there was a vast sense of… nothing. His quest was over and all he could think was that it seemed so pointless in retrospection. "It's over." He repeated more resolutely, tasting the words. It was bile.

Naruto met his eyes with painstaking understanding. "Come back."

Sasuke closed his eyes, refusing to play into that particular one-sided conversation, and frowned. "You could have died here, Dobe. I was not going to hold back for you."

"I know." Naruto said simply, his eyes returning to the forest ahead.

"This was the most important thing to me." He pressed on. _More than you._

This time they locked eyes- Sasuke's searching, Naruto's firm. "I know." The blonde repeated levelly. No yells, no hurt. "That's why I'm here."

That was it. "If you had an actual deathwish, Dobe, you could have told me and I'd have finished you off a lot faster. A hell of a lot less painfully." He snapped.

Naruto rolled his eyes and tried to rise on his elbows. "To my recollection, Teme, your Chidori fucking hurts."

Sasuke flinched- only slightly- at the memory. "Aah…" he said, suddenly drained.

Naruto watched him curiously, then smiled with a touch of haughtiness. "I _did_ put a scratch on your forehead."

"Forehead _protector_." he amended irritably, though he wasn't irritated. It's just how things had always been between then and how – and he would never admit his relief at that- they still were.

"My aim is better now."

"I doubt it." Sasuke deadpanned.

Silence reigned again. Both tried to keep appearances- per habit and because it was easier that way- but they were keenly aware that their wounds were severe and, unless something happened fast, their time was limited.

"If I had killed you, I would have achieved Mangekyu." Sasuke said suddenly as a fact, not a confession.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked his eyes open. He was probably drifting to sleep. A definite no-no in their situation.

"Mangekyu Sharingan." Sasuke began in a way of explaining waiting for blue eyes to fully focus on him. "It's another type of Sharingan that requires… special conditions. Itachi had it…" His voice trailed off.

Naruto frowned a bit. "How come you don't have it then?" he prompted, no doubt to keep Sasuke talking.

His next words were uttered so softly, they were barely intelligible. "I'd have to kill the person most precious to me…"

But Naruto did hear them and his eyes widened as he connected the dots, lighting up with emotions he could almost recognize. Sasuke much doubted that he would have been as talkative if not for the blood-loss induced honesty. And frankly, surprisingly, there was still an honest part left in him that felt he owed Naruto that much. His eyes drifted back to Itachi's lifeless form.

"Mangekyu could have come in handy…" he said absently in a tone so dry it must have hurt his lips as the words came out. He heard a chocked laughter and turned to find the blonde holding his ribs painfully. "What." He demanded, this time irritated.

"S-sorry…" Naruto tried to sound more sober and failed miserably. "It's just your… you sounded so…" he laughed harder, until he started coughing. The copper taste of his own blood took away from his mirth.

Sasuke did not ask if he was okay- he wouldn't- but his eyes were alert and assessing.

"In the end" Naruto started again when his coughing had finally subsided, "we are more alike than we are unlike… and this is fitting."

Sasuke frowned at the smile that greeted his death glare. Was the blood-loss getting to the blonde's already mentally challenged thought process? "What are you talking about, Dobe?" he asked for the sake of arguing, not really expecting a coherent answer. He watched him for a moment, trying to relax his battered body in spite of the shivers. Sasuke estimated that Naruto would be getting cold by now. He knew _he_ was- and he had spent the last three years in Orochimaru's dumpster ideas of hideouts. No heating, but as long as there were doors that could be locked and no second keys, he could get by. What he also knew was that, if he was nothing less than his prissy self when he was so much worse for wear, Naruto would be damned if he didn't rise to the challenge and be a smartass.

And Naruto didn't disappoint him. "For someone so well versed on obsession, you sure are missing the irony in this.

He was not going to justify this one with a comeback. He supposed some things never changed and a Dobe would remain a Dobe, no matter how many years went by or how strong he became.

"You obsessed over killing Itachi, I obsessed over bringing you back… it makes sense that we all ended up here."

Sasuke scoffed at the notion. "I don't see how it makes sense, baka. I'm dying with him and you have a long way to bring me back to Konoha."

"Give me a bit, bastard." Naruto licked his dry lips. "Give me a bit and we'll be there. I'll get you back to Konoha if it's the last thing I do."

Dark eyes widened just a bit, for just a moment as he stared back. "… Usuratonkachi." he muttered, now thoroughly exhausted. Years of effort and dilemmas weighed on his eyelids that were inhumanly heavy. He heard Naruto call his name again and again. "Too loud…" he whispered the complaint. "Always too damn loud…" and he smiled, a barely noticeable tug of the lips.

Just before everything faded to blissful oblivion, he thought he felt strong arms lifting him. Maybe Naruto's team had made it in time, but somehow he doubted it. Sasuke was pretty sure that it was the Dobe himself, again trying too hard again.

His last thought was, _Baka…_

* * *

Okay… so that was Chapter 1. Let me say in advance that there will be NO character deaths. None. Nada. Zilh. I love all the characters and my angsty muse doesn't do deathfics. So Sasuke will be fine, k?

Hope you enjoy.

M.


	2. Ebb 1: Worth

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… continue to wish I did tho…

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

* * *

Ebb 1:_ Worth_

The hospital room decided to spin randomly now and then, but he didn't mind. It wasn't that he had been beaten to hell and back. It wasn't that the Kyuubi was being an ass and didn't really do much to help him heal faster for whatever reason the damn fox found entertaining. It certainly wasn't the fact that he had been glued to Sasuke's bedside, refusing to return to his own bed, unless Tsunade threatened him with further physical harm. He'd be damned if Sasuke woke up to find him in a shape worse than he was after their fight with Itachi. Too humiliating to have that happen in the hospital of the village you intend to become the Hokage of.

His blue eyes again moved over the raven's bandages, making a short and quite incomplete account of the new scars Sasuke would be left with. They had both managed to survive keeping their promises, but whereas he had expected the world to lift off his shoulders, the feeling had been tainted by Sasuke's unexpected apathy to the achievement of his goal. Naruto could not pinpoint it, but there was something resigned about Sasuke's attitude when it was all over that thoroughly unnerved him. When they had crossed paths during his time with Orochimaru, and even right before the clash with his brother, there had always been an air of hubris surrounding the Uchiha that was uniquely his- a certain no small amount of confidence and determination that had made Naruto at times be in awe of him and others to want to beat the living daylights out the damn smug bastard.

And there he was now, watching Sasuke's unconscious form, willing him to open his eyes, holding his hand in his as a tangible reminder that he was really there.

"Gaki."

He closed his eyes, not really ready to talk to anyone other than maybe Sakura or Iruka. He had been expecting Jiraya to come find him. It was actually almost surprising that it had taken him this long. Perhaps he had no words for him. Jiraya was not the father-figure that Iruka was and not a casual friend either. They had a rather pervert mentor-reluctant student kind of relationship and Naruto trusted him with his life. "Yes, Ero-Sennin?"

He could feel, without turning to look, Jiraya's smirk at their joined hands. "What is that- handcuff no jutsu? Didn't think you had it in you…"

Naruto shot his mentor a dirty glare. That man had once straight-out asked him if the reason he was obsessing over Sasuke was because he was in love with the boy. Naruto had simply gapped at him then watched the older man's retreating back as he laughed himself to the nearest bar for another "information gathering" session. To this day he was unsure if the pervert had been expecting an answer. "Was there something you wanted?"

There. No "Ero-Sennin", no "pervert", no nothing. He was not in the mood. Jiraya must have picked up on it because he sobered up. "Tsunade is meeting with the Council today to discuss Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto's ears perked up at that. "What is there to discuss?" he asked anxiously.

"Don't be naïve, Naruto." Jiraya chastised the boy. "Uchiha Sasuke is a missing nin with little making him any better than Orochimaru."

By then he had realized that he had a lot on common with his mentor in this. Jiraya had tried to bring Orochimaru back and failed. Well, he hadn't. "He is _nothing_ like Orochimaru."

The Sannin's eyes became cold and stern at that. "Does he not summon snakes? Did he not name his own team of vagabonds _Hebi_? Did he not wear Orochimaru's colours? And you don't even know what crimes he committed while you were tailing after him."

Naruto shook his head at that. "Orochimaru killed the Sadaime-"

"Sasuke almost killed _you_."

He tightened his grip on Sasuke's hand as if it gave him all the assurance he needed. "He wouldn't have. He had his chance."

Jiraya's patience seemed to be wearing thin. "He would have killed you, Sakura- anyone he had to- if it meant getting an inch closer to killing Itachi."

"No." he repeated stubbornly.

"Wake up, Gaki!" the Sannin's voice picked up several octaves in volume. "This is not the boy you knew."

Naruto could never hope to explain how absurd this all sounded to him, so he settled for a glare. "Keep your voice down. We're in a hospital."

There was something about being lectured about hospital regulations by a loudmouth brat that made the veins on his temples almost pop. Naruto could tell that a thousand and one perverted comebacks tempted the older man's lips, but he remained silent, returning the glare.

"Make sure you tell Baa-chan to get him off the hook." He said quietly. "He survived his clan's massacre, Orochimaru and Itachi. I did not bring him back to die in Konoha."

Jiraya's eyes fixed him with a strange look. "And if she can't?"

This time he did look up. He wanted Jiraya to know how serious he was. "I did not bring him back to die in Konoha." He repeated determinedly. "She is the Hokage and Sasuke is a Konoha ninja."

A huff. "No-one has even heard that from the brat's mouth yet. You go a long way vouching for his integrity."

"I know-"

"Knew."

"- Sasuke." He finished, ignoring the interruption. "If I were Hokage, I would protect him. And if being Hokage means you cannot protect your own, then to hell with it. I don't want it."

The Sannin's eyes widened at the impact of those words. He was quite shocked. "Naruto…"

"Being Hokage has always been my dream- to be recognized by the villagers and protect them with my life. If that's not what it means, then I don't want it. I'll do things _my_ way." He continued. "And I will protect Sasuke. With my life if I have to. Against Konoha if I must. Please don't make me."

Silence stretched for a moment that seemed too long. Sasuke may not be the boy he used to know anymore but the same could be said about Naruto. "Alright…" he said finally. "I will convince Tsunade to fend for your precious Uchiha. But even if she succeeds, these things usually come with a price. I hope you are prepared."

Naruto nodded. "Bring it on."

Jiraya was at the door when he asked. "Is he really worth it, Naruto?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

There was a small pause. Really, after all this time he wasn't sure he could muster up the words. "If I can't save a friend, I shouldn't be Hokage."

Jiraya nodded and left the room.

Naruto went back to watching Sasuke. He almost looked at ease, but he had seen him in this state before, over three years ago- again thanks to his brother… it's a good thing Itachi was already dead or he'd have to kill him all over again- and he knew that it wasn't peace, but oblivion. Sasuke never had restful sleeps during their missions. He was always frowning, muttering words in distress. Naruto had spent enough nights with him to know. _Wake up, Teme…_ He kept thinking those words at him like a mantra, but thus far he was being stubborn as ever. It was simply impossible for an Uchiha to do what makes sense and make things easy on the rest of the world.

"Wake up…" he whispered.

Though the prognosis was encouraging, it offered no specifics as to when he would awaken. A day after Tsunade had given him the news, Naruto was losing patience. Kakashi had once told him that the pivot of torment was not the severity of one's suffering, but the indefinite duration. _Anyone can take anything, as long as they know it will end._ He had not understood back then, but now, having had to chase after Sasuke's ghost all this time and been reduced to waiting for a change, he felt rather close to an epiphany on the matter.

A soft moan.

At first he thought it was his mind playing tricks after too much wishful thinking, but then he saw dark eyes slowly fluttering open, a slight furrow of delicate brows denoting the Uchiha's discomfort at the morning light. _I guess Neji was right… he really was in the dark._

Naruto smiled, his eyes stinging strangely. Could be the medication making them dry or something. And he might also be coming down with a cold because his voice was thick and hoarse. "Hey…"

Sasuke turned to the source of the sound and immediately shut his eyes with a groan. Vertigo must be a bitch after losing so much blood. Almost more than he could afford to spare.

"Are you okay?" he jumped to his feet, unconsciously squeezing the raven's hand tighter against his chest.

"I've lost feeling in my hand, Dobe…" Sasuke grunted out.

He dropped the hand on reflex, feeling the uncomfortable heat crawl to his face. It was a fever, no doubt. "Excuse me for ever being nice to you, Teme!"

Sasuke smirked for a moment, then frowned as he took in his surroundings.

"I told you I'd bring you back." He said with a smile, but something in him sank at the non-reaction his comment was received with. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but that wasn't it. Nothing stirred in those black eyes- not even the slightest trepidation about the consequences of being on Konoha grounds. Yes, Sasuke had refused to come back, but he had always believed that there was a part in the bastard that counted on his persistence to offer an alibi when he was done with Itachi and wanted to come back home. _Home…_ Did he even recognise Konoha as his home anymore?

"How long was I out?" Sasuke's strained voice broke through his reverie. The raven was observing him, obviously puzzled by his silence.

He shifted under the stare. "About two days. Sakura-chan did a great job on you."

"… Sakura did…"

His voice was distant and hollow. Naruto didn't like that. It made him feel helpless. "You almost died, Teme." His own voice was uncharacteristically hushed. "Don't do that again."

Those unfathomable eyes bore holes in him. A million different thoughts and emotions seemed to suddenly pool and animate them, all flashing by too fast for Naruto to even hope to grasp them. It made his stomach feel weird for a moment. It was officially the flu.

Out loud, Sasuke only said, "Hn."

"So…" the blonde started reluctantly, unsure if it was too soon to touch on the subject. Still he had to know. "What now?"

Sasuke took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. The silence stretched and Naruto wondered if maybe he fell asleep. But then he moved, eyes opening and brows forming a cloud of discomfort. He shifted a little to tag at the bandages on his right arm.

Naruto grabbed his hand. "Stop that- you'll re-open the wounds."

The raven tried to reach for the bandages again, resulting in his hand being pulled away. He did not reclaim it, but he did glare. "Those bandages are too tight. They are cutting off my circulation."

Some part in him found it amusing that the Uchiha would still complain like that. He couldn't help the tart remark. "You were _circulating _all over the place. Now let go."

If possible, the glare intensified, but after a moment he complied. Neither spoke for a while. Naruto realized that he was still holding Sasuke's hand and that he hadn't pulled it back.

"I don't know." He whispered.

Blue eyes snapped up to him. "Huh?"

"I _said_, I don't know _what now_." He reiterated sounding rather irritated.

Naruto knew him well enough to recognise that he was in fact _frustrated_. He smiled. "You know what?" he waited for Sasuke to meet his eyes, before he continued. "Neither do I."

Sasuke's eyes widened somewhat for fleeting seconds, then he huffed muttering something about Dobes and settled on the bed.

Naruto studied him, watching the embers of who was purely Sasuke slowly burn in those charcoal eyes. It was that intractable part of him that had managed to survive the Uchiha Massacre, Orochimaru, Itachi and even Sasuke himself. "Let's find out together… ne, Sasuke?"

Sasuke held his gaze for a long moment then closed his eyes again. It was barely perceptible, but Naruto thought he felt a soft squeeze back at his hand. It could have been his overactive imagination, but he chose to believe it was Sasuke.

* * *

Teme: bastard

Dobe: dead last

Gaki: brat

Ero-sennin: along the lines of "pervert hermit"… I think?

Hebi: snake

Sadaime: the Third Hokage

Baa-cha: old-hag… in Naruto's cute way. )

Probably should have done that for the previous chapter… Anyone who didn't know what Usuratonkachi means it's "clumsy idiot". Okay… that's chapter 2. I think that after this I owed to edit the summary about possibly implied shonen-ai… If anyone's reading, you can tell me what you think.

Ja!


	3. Tide 2: Provisions

**A/N:** Sasuke is "Uchiha" or "Uchiha brat" or "brat" during this chapter because, tho rather vague, each chapter is written with a specific POV and this one is Tsunade's.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… period.

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

* * *

Tide 2:_ Provisions_

Tsunade had never lost a glaring match to anyone other than Sizune, but she was slowly resigning to the notion that the Uchiha brat could probably put to shame her assistant's legendary patience. And at least, in Sizune's case, she had to eventually succumb, because the girl was a pillar of what's fair and right. In the case of the Uchiha in front of her, she would be losing to a brat who was facing a dozen charges- most of which would have led a less _elite_ ninja straight to deathrow- and somehow still managed to look bored as he waited for her to speak, like he was patiently tolerating what could be his only lifeline. She had to wonder if he was the least bit aware of the lengths the gaki had gone to save him. A darker part of her suggested that he was actually counting on it. As a matter of fact, Tsunade would have been very tempted to give the smug brat a particularly hard time just to see him squirm, if she didn't know already that it would be an exercise in futility and Naruto would be suffering more than the Uchiha every step of the way.

"Do you know why you are here?" Tsunade addressed him, keeping her tone level and all-business.

"To face charges of treason against Konoha." He supplied easily, as if she had just asked him what he had for breakfast.

Her honey-colored eyes narrowed at him. He could at least pretend to be a true penitent. Honestly, she doubted he was worth saving. "How do you plead?"

His eyes never wavered from hers, his tone never changed, even as his next words were, "Guilty."

"You should be executed then." She tested, drawing no real reaction. She wondered if the boy was capable of feeling anything or if he was even interested in saving himself. "Do you realize how bad your position is?"

A nod. That was all. "Yes."

"Do you also realize that there's only one _real_ reason you are not dead?'

It almost surprised her to find that the Uchiha had to lower his eyes at that for a moment. Naruto. He and the gaki had spent the two weeks it took the Uchiha to recover enough to stand trial, talking almost throughout the day. Or fighting. And when Naruto was not in that room, he was in her office yapping about how she had better make sure Sasuke gets reinstated and how wrong everyone is. How only he, Sakura and Kakashi really knew Sasuke. She had to put up with such absurdities almost until the moment the Uchiha stepped _into_ the room and Naruto had to step _out_. And that wasn't without a fight either. It wasn't until _Sasuke_ told him it's okay that he left. It saved her the trouble of resorting to threats, but it was still quite annoying. Tsunade hoped that when Naruto became Hokage he'd have someone to deal with that was as much a pain in the ass as he was to her.

Another nod, this time lacking the aloof air his poise had held. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

She cleared her throat and stepped around the office to face him. "The Council wants the Uchiha name to remain a part of the village's history." She stated, leaving out the part that she, as the Hokage, wouldn't have given a rat's ass what the Elders wanted, but it was a convenient excuse and one that would shut Naruto up before her ears had suffered permanent damage from the sheer volume of his voice.

The Uchiha visibly tensed at that. "I am not sure I can oblige them, if that's the case."

That drew Tsunade's attention anew. "Oh?" she arched a brow. "Why is that?" her question was met with tense silence that only fuelled her curiosity. "You don't have the option of not answering a question, brat."

He met her eyes with a deathglare, but answered nonetheless. So maybe he didn't want to die. "Any Uchiha deserving of a family died in the massacre about 10 years ago."

Tsunade could only dare to imagine how much those words she had forced out of him had cost him. He had admitted in no uncertain terms that he was unworthy of continuing the Uchiha bloodline. "You used to want to repopulate your clan." This time her voice was marginally less sharp.

"That was before." And the Uchiha smugness was back in place.

His obstinacy on this complicated things. The Uchiha name had been an ace up her sleeve in making this work and saving herself from a gruesome death by ear bleeding. Certainly she could not count on the brat's disarming personality. But then again the boy had been in Orochimaru's _care_ for 3 years before he killed him. And Tsunade knew Orochimaru. He had been hers and Jiraya's "Sasuke", only without the redeeming qualities- that Naruto had assured her were there… repeatedly- an actual reasoning for leaving the village and the happy ending.

She noticed the brat arching a brow at her prolonged silence. "Why did you kill Orochimaru?"

"I don't suppose you'd call it doing you a favor and leave it at that." He had the nerve to smirk. Whatever he saw on her face must have been enough to snap him out of his smartass mode. He sighed. "I had no intention to let him take over my body. I am not stupid. We fought; I won. I guess he did too good a job with me."

Tsunade considered him for a moment. "You told Uzumaki Naruto that you intended to go through with the deal."

The brat looked suspicious for a moment. "Why you are asking me about this?"

"Determining your sanity of lack thereof." Now she smirked.

He mirrored her expression. "And it was to preserve my sanity that I did what I needed to and said what I had to."

"Do you say what you _have to_ now?" she challenged.

He did not take the bait. Points for him. She supposed that whatever answer he might provide would simply not be enough for her. Whatever Naruto had vouched for, she'd have to see with her own eyes. She walked to the door wordlessly and opened it. Four ANBU, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi and Jiraya stepped inside. After closing the door she walked back to her desk.

"Let me explain to you what happens now, Uchiha. The ANBU are here to bear witnesses to our _arrangement_." Tsunade was kind of pleased to find that the maestros of her throbbing headaches the past weeks- Naruto and Sasuke that is- seemed entirely puzzled by all this.

"Baa-chan-"

"Uchiha Sasuke, you are hereby placed under the direct supervision of Hatake Kakashi. ANBU guards will be checking the general vicinity of the mansion in shifts, but I do not intend to monopolize any of them for a single person." Her tone held all the authority that came with being Hokage. "In the off chance that you try to pull anything or disobey any of the rules I will set for you, Uzumaki Naruto will track you down and kill you."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What?!"

The Uchiha's dark eyes seemed to have the slightest tint of red as they narrowed at her. He, wisely, chose not to say anything, but his poise spoke in volumes of what he thought of her for doing this. Tsunade knew that this was quite the bind for both his pride and his affections. And he knew she knew.

"There will be _no_ second chances, so I urge you to pay attention." She continued. "You are not allowed to leave Konoha grounds until the probation period is over. It has been set for a year, but can be extended if needed. You will visit Haruno Sakura once a week for the next two months, then once a month for the rest of the year for a physical check up. You will see Jiraya at the same time for your chakra and curse seal. Am I understood thus far?"

Tsunade could practically hear the cogs in the Uchiha's mind turning as he processed her words. He tilted his head to the side a bit, regarding her stoically. "What makes you think that Kakashi could restrain me, if I decided to flee?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto snapped immediately.

"I am serious, Dobe." Sasuke deadpanned. "I want to know."

A dangerous smile curled Tsunade's lips. "I am glad you asked. You will show Kakashi every new trick and jutsu you have learned. This is non-negotiable."

The Uchiha eyed her thoughtfully. Kakashi was the Copy Ninja, but even if he could copy every technique Sasuke showed him, it was quite unlikely he could match the level of power he was now able to summon.

"Harm Kakashi in any way and Naruto will have to kill you. Hide something and Naruto will have to kill you. Leave Konoha before I say you can, miss a medical appointment or fail to see Jiraya and Uzumaki Naruto will have to kill you." By then she knew that Naruto was seething. "Will you adhere to these terms?"

He nodded after a moment. "I will."

An audible sigh of relief could be heard from Sakura. Kakashi was probably smiling but it was hard to tell under that mask.

"I was not asking just you." Her eyes wandered in the room. "I have spoken to Sakura and Jiraya beforehand, but other than your answer, I need a yes from both Kakashi and Naruto."

"Maa…" Kakashi closed his visible eye in amusement. "It should be interesting."

Tsunade nodded, feeling a measure of pity for the man. Living with the Uchiha for a year could not be an easy task. She had considered Naruto for the task- partly as punishment- but she had come to consider it a bad idea for more reasons that she could number. Her eyes moved to said gaki, who refused to look at either her or Sasuke. "Naruto?" she prompted.

Naruto glared at the ground. It was Sakura who walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Whatever it was that she said for his ears alone seemed to be enough to bring him out of his tantrum. Tsunade had noticed an interesting dynamic in those three. It was in the way that Sakura seemed to have mellowed to Naruto, in the way Sasuke's eyes seemed more watchful of the interaction between the two and how Naruto was entirely unaware of either fact.

"Unless I hear a 'yes' from you, I will have to issue an execution date." It wasn't a threat, it was a fact.

"I will do it, if I have to." Naruto said, finally looking up at her, then added sharing a look with Sasuke. "But I won't have to."

"Good." Tsunade smiled. "Now get the hell out of my office."

She need not say it twice. The ANBU obediently disappeared in a puff of smoke and Team 7- as they used to be and were once again- left the room rather quietly. Only Jiraya stayed behind. She had expected him to and welcomed the company. He stood next to her as she watched the road for the four figures that would soon emerge. Sakura hugged Naruto, who blushed mad, and gave Sasuke a coy smile before leaving to return to her clinic duties.

"Three are one, ne?" Jiraya smirked beside her. "I could write a book about it."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You will never change, baka…" she smiled softly as Kakashi pulled out his Icha Icha book and started down the road followed by his two ex-students. Naruto paused after a moment. "Do you trust Sasuke?"

Jiraya's eyes set on her. "I want to."

Her smile seemed somewhat bitter as she watched Naruto pull Sasuke's damaged forehead protector out of his pocket and offer it back. Sasuke looked at it for a long moment before accepting it, but he did. Tsunade wondered what Kakashi saw as he's pretending not to notice, engrossed in his book. It's awkward and she imagined there's too much to say for words to come out, but Sasuke's hand lingers meaningfully in Naruto's a bit more than is necessary to retrieve the artifact. A long moment goes by before they start walking down the street again.

"Orochimaru is dead." she said then. "That has always been the plan, but seeing them… I realize that we'll never have what they have. Be whole again… It's so stupid."

The other Sannin stared at her wordlessly, but she knew he understood. Orochimaru had been a monster to everyone, but to them he had once been a comrade… a friend. Tsunade had never seen Jiraya as heartbroken and grief-stricken as the day he returned to Konoha after having failed to bring Orochimaru back. Something had broken in him that he had fought with tooth a nail to keep intact in Naruto.

Out of the window, down the road, Naruto and Sasuke walked side by side behind their mentor. She decided she wanted to trust Sasuke too.

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That's Chapter 3. Thank goodness for stats and alerts or I'd doubt anyone was reading.. You CAN review you know… ::sigh::

M.


	4. Ebb 2: Art

**Author's Note:**This one goes to lonewolfshadowuchiha1 for the encouraging words… Thank you. :-)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… Is Kishi-sama single? ;-)

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

* * *

Ebb 2:_ Art_

Art is a vague term; or so Sai decided and reckoned his opinion to carry some weight, being an artist himself and all.

It required talent for him to draw all those fine- deadly, perverted- sketches that his jutsus brought to life. It required another form of art to fake smiles properly. The way people instinctively knew they were fake, were a form of art itself that he could not understand. He thought that Sakura was perhaps the person to address with this question- she could fool even him. But through his time with Uzumaki Naruto, he had come to think that perhaps the most intricate form of art was the forging of bonds.

Those were his thoughts, as he watched the blonde approach with Uchiha Sasuke and Hatake Kakashi after just having seen the Hokage. It must have gone well for _Team 7._ That stirred something in him, as close to actually _feeling_ anything as he had come in a very long time; the closest he remembered ever experiencing the need to _protect_ something. It had been a persistent nuisance the last couple of weeks- a slight pang of hurt, as if he was being robbed of something important. Belying its name, being a part of Roots offered no sense of belonging. That was not their function- which had made him a perfect candidate. Detachment came naturally to him, whereas everyone else had to strive. Some had not survived that struggle. And perhaps being teamed up with Naruto and Sakura had been nothing more than a role in a plan to assassinate the man he ended up helping to bring back, but the feeling- again that word, _feeling_- that maybe he could belong- throw roots- was not as unreal as he had once thought.

_And now…_ He cocked his head to the side a little studying the sight. Kakashi was reading his Icha Icha book as always, but somehow Sai knew that the Jounin didn't miss a single word passing between his ex-students. What was really interesting to him was the other two. The raven haired boy did nothing special, his features undisturbed by any hint of expression other a than furrow of his perfect brow to show annoyance- and Sai doubted it was genuine, but more of a habit around the blonde- yet Naruto was radiating happiness.

Sai blinked slowly.

Before, he had thought that Naruto was naturally high-spirited and loud. But that was in the time he had set in his mind as _before,_ now that he knew better. _Before_ he saw Naruto almost break down after that first reunion with Sasuke. _Before_ he witnessed the transformation of the supposedly all-too-obvious boy since Sasuke had returned. It was astounding to him, even as he could not exactly pinpoint it. So he resorted to calling it the _Sasuke effect_. The way the Uchiha could drive him to raving lunacy or the most splendid inner peace. Naruto was obviously-

"Troublesome."

The voice startled him just a little bit. He was not used to getting lost in his thoughts enough to lose sense of his surroundings. That _was_ troublesome. Nara Shikamaru was leaning against a nearby wall watching the same trio. He was interesting in his own way, that much he could tell even though he had few dealings with him in the past. Sai smiled.

The Chuunin's arched brow probably suggested that he was no more convinced about the sincerity of his smile than anyone else. And perhaps Shikamaru could read it better, being quite the genius- or so the rumor had it. And yet, for all his brilliance, the man was too lazy to aim for Jounin. Sai fathomed that perhaps slacking off was a form of art too, but not one he could ever hope to understand. He turned his attention back to Naruto, now entirely riled up, and Sasuke smirking. He smiled, so the image must have been a familiar one. "Hokage-sama has paired you up with Naruto."

"She told me earlier." That same smile stayed on his lips. "Do you suppose that will be until his lover's probation period is over?"

Shikamaru almost choked on his saliva, but recovered quickly. He shook his head, probably in an attempt to rid himself of the mental image. Planting the images he came up with in other people's heads was another of Sai's many talents. "Tsunade-sama did not say anything about _Sasuke_. You have a briefing for a mission first thing tomorrow." He gave Sai one last look. "Make sure you tell Naruto. Ja." And with that he was gone.

Just in time to avoid meeting with the other three, he noted, but suspected that it had something to do with his presence and the Chuunin's commitment to avoid troublesome situations. The man had good instincts. "Naruto." He greeted and curved the sides of his lips a little more to make the smile look more genuine.

"Hey, Sai!" the blonde waved cheerfully, convinced enough or not caring enough.

"Is this the infamous afterglow?" he directed this at Sasuke, who arched a brow. Sai wondered if he could draw features as perfectly as whoever put Sasuke's together when they drew him to existence. Or something sappy like that.

"Afterglow?" Sasuke's voice was level, but Sai could hear a subtle dare to continue with this, if he really wanted his reaction.

"D-don't mind him." Naruto laughed unconvincingly, sensing the sudden tension. "Just his weird sense of humor."

Sai noticed that Kakashi was watching them over his book and that Sasuke let it slide, even though he was far from convinced. He wondered if whatever Kakashi was reading could possibly be more entertaining than this. Well-written smut was an art he felt compelled to respect.

Sasuke started walking again next to Kakashi with a muttered, "Whatever…"

Naruto, visibly relieved, fell in step behind them with Sai. "So, what's up?"

"Hokage-sama has paired us up." He offered, keeping his eyes on the Uchiha. "We are meeting her for our first mission briefing tomorrow."

"So soon?" it was impossible to hide his disappointment or surprise.

Sai noticed that Sasuke was watching them over his shoulder. "You have been in Konoha for over two weeks. You would have been begging for a mission a little over two weeks ago."

Naruto tensed slightly, cobalt eyes darting to Sasuke for a moment, probably to check if he had heard and, had he, if he had understood. Surprisingly it was Kakashi who stepped in this time. "Things have been quiet after the Akatsuki scattered. Naruto deserved his rest."

Sai was slightly disappointed. He would have enjoyed a playmate. "That's true." He smiled. "Naruto was pretty amazing. I look forward to the time we'll be spending together. You interest me."

The all around reaction was amusing. Naruto looked puzzled, receiving a compliment instead of an insult in regards to the size of his genitalia, Kakashi arched a brow finally deciding to close his book. Sasuke frowned, his bottomless dark eyes assessing both Naruto and him. Sai could tell that he was considering them.

The blonde blinked a couple of times, oblivious. "I guess…"

"Will that be a problem for you… Sasuke-kun?" Sai ignored Naruto's glare.

The raven's brow deepened. "Why would it be?" his tone was dry.

"Well, I _will_ be monopolizing Naruto-kun." He explained pleasantly and noted something sparking to life in the Uchiha's dark eyes. He had to admit, he _was_ beautiful. It was an artist's penchant to concede to something extraordinary, even if he personally didn't like it much.

"It's not a problem."

And though Sasuke's tone remained level, there was something about his poise and the way those dark eyes bore on him that begged Sai to continue. Getting Naruto to see red was plain funny. Getting a rise out of the Uchiha, however, could be considered an achievement. It was not as improbable as everyone had been inferring. The man was not cold or unemotional, he simply reacted to specific things. Naruto being one of them. Naruto, who had probably been the person who cushioning his every fall since his return, without having been asked. But Sai knew that Sasuke knew. And however much he'd scoff in dismay, he cared all too deeply for the loud blonde. All that he could see, but not grasp. He could not fathom what could intertwine the lives of two people so absolutely. What could invoke such loyalty and blind faith. He had seen people who proclaimed eternal love fall apart at the idea of self-preservation and he had figured that the bond between two people went as far as the need to preserve their individual existence.

But that was _before_.

"Sai?" Naruto's tone had darkened, demanding an explanation.

The fake smile returned to his face again. Apparently Naruto did not like how he was trying to mess with his precious Uchiha's head. "Just trying to understand your bond. I wouldn't want to see you getting hurt." Sai waited for the predictable touched and guilty-for-his-earlier-tone expression to set Naruto's features before continuing. "I think Sasuke's penis might be bigger than you're used to."

In spite of his own stupor, Sasuke probably restrained Naruto out of some old- surviving- instinct, wincing at the line of curses that left the blonde's mouth, burning holes in Sai with his patented glare of grim death. Apparently, the protective feelings were mutual. Kakashi was studying him wordlessly. He didn't seem confused about his behavior. Maybe he understood his motivations and the reactions of the other two better than any of them did. Sai didn't like it when he felt transparent. He'd much rather Kakashi scolded him or that he broke it off than simply study them all.

"Do you think Sasuke-kun is bigger than me?"

This time Sasuke let him launch at the implication.

"You PERVERT!" Naruto chased after him and punched through the air as Sai moved just fast enough to avoid the ball of fury that was currently Naruto. "Why do you say those things?! Why can't you just be my friend?!"

Those words snapped something in him faster than his mind could follow, because by the time he realized the switch, he had already pushed Naruto against the closest wall. "I don't know." He said honestly, allowing his confusion to touch his expression. "Why _do_ I say those things? Why _can't_ I just be your friend?"

He had probably managed to shock the fight out of the blonde, because he seemed thoroughly confused and perfectly surprised. The spell-bubble burst when the sharp edge of a blade strained against his throat. Naruto looked past his shoulder, hesitation tinting the clear, cobalt blue at whatever he saw on the Uchiha's face.

"Sasuke…" he whispered, rather unsure himself of what he intended to say.

"I am quite sure you are breaking probation drawing your sword at a Konoha ninja, Sasuke-kun. Do you know that I could have you executed for this?" Sai said, not moving a muscle; and not smiling.

Naruto's blue eyes filled with something akin to panic for a moment, darting from the boy holding him to the wall back to Sasuke. "Sai, what-?"

"_I_ could execute you for this." He continued relentlessly, ignoring the interruption.

Sai figured that Naruto's next move would be rush and quite likely cost him a limb, so he was silently thankful to Kakashi, who chose that moment to intervene and immobilize them with simple, seizing grips that years of experience had honed to deadly efficiency. "You boys got exited." He said in a rather curt tone and released them after a moment, pushing them apart.

"Kakashi-sensei!" relief and annoyance mixed in Naruto's voice. "You could have stepped in earlier."

"Maa, maa…" the Jounin smiled, holding up his Icha Icha book. "It was an interesting chapter."

"Hn." This came from Sasuke.

A silly excuse and a 'hn' was all it took for Naruto to recover his earlier high-spirits. "You guys just need to get to know each other better. When your probation is over maybe the three of us will be teamed together." It was an obvious attempt to restart. It was also obvious that he was unsure about how serious either of them had been.

"You can start over when you and Sai are back." Kakashi offered. "Things are rather tense now. Perhaps the timing was bad. Right, Sai?"

Sai could not understand for the life of him this uncalled for need the old Team 7 displayed to protect Sasuke. He wondered if Naruto would have joined him, gallivanting across countries with no home to go back to, sacrificing his childhood dream of becoming Hokage, had Sasuke just asked him to. Sakura had said that she had offered to go with him. And now Kakashi was chalking up an assault with a _sword_ to _tension_. On the outside he smiled. "I am sure you are right."

"That will be all for today." Kakashi's tone was definite as they reached Naruto's apartment. "Sasuke and I have a lot to do between getting settled and making the mansion hospitable. Be safe on your mission."

Sai thanked Kakashi politely and with a quick goodbye, he left their company. He wanted to watch and an artist needs a clear view of what he aspires to recreate. He settled on a roof close by.

Sasuke was the first to look at Naruto after that little incident. Naruto's face read clear content at the raven's display of affection and worry about that outburst and disappointment that he was leaving. The boy was transparent. Sasuke on the other hand looked like a cat that just stepped out of the bag, yet somehow still quite smug.

"I hope it's a dull, irritating mission, Dobe." Sasuke said after a moment. Sai figured it meant, _Be safe._

Naruto got his wiseass grin as he replied. "I hope you haven't Katon-ed Konoha to cinders by the time I get back. You have a nasty temper." _Don't be so rush, be careful._

Sasuke huffed and looked away. "Try not to get yourself killed, Dobe." _Come back._

The last, Naruto replied to. "I'll be back, before you know it."

Sasuke muttered something unintelligible to Sai's ears from that distance, but it made Naruto laugh. He started to his apartment and Sasuke down the road with Kakashi. Before he closed the door, the blonde looked at Sasuke once more. When the door closed, Sasuke turned his head just a bit to look over his shoulder at the shadow on the window. The looks that crossed their features, Sai reckoned, _that_ was art. He hoped that, if he was never a good enough an artist to recreate it, then he would be a good enough artist to put those looks on paper.

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So that was Chapter 4. I hope all of you guys reading this will enjoy it and MAYBE decide to review… thanx.

M.


	5. Ebb 3: Old Dogs

**A/N:** Thank you all for the reviews. You guys are great and keep me writing. ::kisses and huggies::

**Disclaimer:** Don't own…

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

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Ebb 3:_ Old Dogs_

Kakashi rose back to his feet as fast as he could, barely avoiding a Katon so focused it looked like a laser beam. At this, rate the game was bound to take a wrong turn to fatality. "Break!" He called out to the ghost that hunted after him for the past several hours. All he could hear was silence and then he felt the tip of a blade stinging his back.

"Do you yield?"

The voice, though smug and familiar, made his blood run cold at how perfect his stealth had become. He was happy Sasuke was no longer considered a possible enemy. "Is that a way to talk to your old mentor?"

"Orochimaru could be considered an old mentor too." He said, all the same lowering the blade.

He turned to face his ex-student and present teacher. Sasuke's voice had been deceptively arrogant and level, because the boy actually looked as exhausted as Kakashi felt. "How about we call it a day?" he offered with a smile the boy could not possibly see.

Sasuke nodded, openly welcoming the prospect of rest. He let himself almost collapse on the soft grass, his panting slowing to deeper breaths.

The Jounin thought that he was getting a little old for this. The line of intense sessions with novel jutsus appeared endless. They had been at this for the better part of a month and it was not getting easier or showing the prospect of a swift wrap up in the foreseeable future. "How many more?" he inquired aloud. How many different tricks could Orochimaru have taught Sasuke and why risk it? The Sandaime's killer had signed his own death warrant the moment he took the last Uchiha under his wing.

"Three years worth of jutsus." He muttered, frustration evident in his voice and the sharingan finally fading to that charcoal black.

Because Sasuke was smart and hated to lose. Whatever he had told Naruto or Orochimaru or even himself, Kakashi knew that, if the boy managed to get even marginally stronger than his mentor, he would cut his way through the deal. And he had- quite literally. "You've been busy."

"Homicidal tendencies towards one's ridiculously powerful older sibling can be a remarkable incentive." He almost smirked. Almost.

Kakashi studied the face; sweat mated hair and skin that, however flustered with fatigue, had yet to recover a healthy tone. And yet he barely seemed to notice his own exhaustion, throwing on his plate elaborate- quite vicious and nasty- jutsus Kakashi had only even heard before, if that. Sasuke was not a child anymore. The last Uchiha had grown stronger without his tutelage or guidance. And he had grown older- much older than his body showed, yet his eyes betrayed each time he would relinquish that smug look for one that was haunted; by what, the older man couldn't fathom and, honestly, wasn't sure he wanted to know.

A pang of guilt drew his brows into a frown. He had failed to protect his students. Team 7 had been the first to pass his test, the first people he allowed that close in a long time, because he knew better. The life of a ninja was volatile and unpredictable and any bonds formed were bound to get severed one way or another. That was a lesson an old timer like him had learned the hard way.

He covered his Sharingan, but his visible eye remained on the Uchiha, who either outright ignored his stare or was focusing on some sort of relaxation technique. Truthfully, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto had been a significant part of the reason why he had decided to take up the mantle of a teacher. One, the survivor of the clan that had once been his best friend's pride and the other, the survivor of Yondaime's arrangement for a hero. Neither boy quite ended up where they were expected- by their clan that didn't exist or a Hokage and father long since dead.

Hatake Kakashi owed his friend and his mentor, so he tried. He tried and failed as miserably as it was humanly possible.

The air smelled of water, dirt and thunder. He rose to his feet, dusting his pants- too filthy by that time to save, but he needed the distraction before he spoke again. "Well… we better get inside. There is a storm coming." He said in his usual voice that betrayed none of those inexorable notions and started to walk towards the mansion, when he realized that Sasuke was not following. "Hm?"

The boy looked tired, but somehow it seemed to have little to do with physical fatigue, however great it was. That haunted look was crawling to his features again. Sasuke surprised him- as he had a few and far in between times the past month- by talking. "What am I doing here, Kakashi?" the voice was resigned with a sharp edge to frustration. When Kakashi said nothing, the boy finally stared up at him, lost. "This isn't what _I_ want, it's what the Dobe wants."

The Jounin sighed. "You have always been a driving force in each other's lives. Maybe you are letting him take you where you don't feel you can go on your own right now."

Sasuke opened and closed his mouth for a moment rather taken aback, before blinking slowly and retracing what troubled him. "I had never really given any thought to what happens after Itachi is dead. I expected to die killing him."

Kakashi walked back to the boy and settled down next to him. Maybe this would take a while. "And now you have a chance to start over. You should be grateful."

That drew a choked laughter from the raven. "And what am I supposed to do? Get married and play house like the Elders want me to? What kind of heritage would I leave to my offspring?" he let himself lie down, eyes on the sky that quickly darkened with storm clouds. "There's nothing special about the Uchiha name other than the Sharingan."

Sasuke's voice had been thick with bitterness and contempt. Kakashi wondered why he was telling him all this all this and if he really expected him to concede to such words. "The Uchiha clan goes back longer than you and Itachi." He said sternly, tapping on that sensitive vein that earned him the sharpest of glares.

"Do _not_ compare me to Itachi." He snarled.

If he did not know that it was pure reaction, Kakashi might have been sourly amused by the threatening tone. Really now, that was a trick so old, it was childish when used on someone like him. Threats carried no weight with him. To threat, was to make someone feel that something important will be taken away from them. He had nothing left to lose. "You and Itachi are both responsible for the way things are." He continued undaunted by the boy's hard- hurt, stunned- look. "He is responsible for the massacre… but, Sasuke, no one forced you to make the choices you made. No one made you drive a hand through your best friend's chest, no one placed that sword in your hand. These are your choices."

Kakashi was almost certain that Sasuke would jump to his feet in rage and either attack him or walk away to sulk. But that was the boy he used to know. _This_ Sasuke looked back at him unblinking for a few moments and broke his glance only when a drop of water fell on his cheek and rolled down the side of his face akin to a tear. He had grown up. So much so that Kakashi wished there was a way for him to not see it. To be less perceptive, less experienced, less alike…

"Aah." Was all Sasuke said.

"You are alive, Sasuke. You have a second chance to make other choices." The Jounin said matter-of-factly and then smiled. "Having a family is not the only way to restore your clan. You can restore your clan's name first… and maybe when you do, you'll change your mind about 'playing house'."

Sasuke considered him for a long moment as the raindrops thickened. Finally, he rose to his feet and sighed shaking his head. He offered a hand that Kakashi did not need, but took anyway, and helped his old teacher up. They started to make their way to the mansion together in small hurry to beat the approaching storm.

"Naruto will be coming home tomorrow." Kakashi said as the Uchiha complex came into view and watched for a reaction that Sasuke didn't have.

They reached the mansion in relative silence. The Uchiha complex, once bursting with life, law and pride was now a silent ghost town, filled with tales of blood and betrayal. Kakashi didn't really mind the ghosts. Sasuke's dead seemed to get along just fine with his own.

A strange sound alerted them to the unnatural phenomenon of a living presence. "Is that… snoring?" Sasuke wondered aloud, his pace picking up just a little, his body shedding some of it's fatigue.

Kakashi guessed that they had the same suspicion about the source of the sound. And surely enough there was Uzumaki Naruto, asleep on the porch, leaning against the doorframe. The Uchiha paused for a moment that he just stared, barely decipherable disbelief darting through his eyes. His hand twitched at his side as though it intended to reach out, but his mind decided against the urge in time. Instead he frowned and kicked the blonde on the thigh.

Naruto stirred to consciousness, looking confused. When he saw Sasuke towering over him, his body relaxed, eyes falling shut again. "Where have you been, Teme? I've been waiting for hours…" he complained groggily. "… couldn't find you at the training grounds either…"

It was so intriguing to the older man, how Sasuke's lips, previously thinned in tension, now easily relaxed to a small smile. "You don't think my jutsus are safe for public display, do you, Dobe?"

The blonde opened one sleepy eyes, attempting to glare at the Uchiha. "Shut up, Bastard…"

"We were quite far away." Kakashi chose that moment to interrupt. The rain had stopped a short while ago, but they still needed to get inside and change into something warmer. It was quite disgraceful for a ninja who could take down an army or men to be reduced into a shivering ball in his bed due to fever. "You're back early."

"Kakashi-sensei…" the voice carried something between recognition and realization that the Jounin had been standing there this entire time. "Is that ok? Being away from Konoha…" his eyes batted the sleep away, alarmed to the implications of Tsunade's terms.

"As long as I'm under supervision." Sasuke said dryly, assuring the worried boy.

Naruto nodded, visibly relaxing. He rose and stretched, wincing as his muscles complained about his unfortunate positioning. "Have you had dinner yet?"

Before Sasuke could reply, Kakashi cut in. "After you change, you two go on ahead. I have business to attend to and Naruto here can take over _guard duty_ for a while."

"What kind of business?" the blonde eyed him suspiciously.

"Not our own." Sasuke cut, grabbing Naruto's arm and dragging him away, adding- mostly to spare himself any protests- "Come, I'll buy you ramen."

"Ramen! Yatta!" Naruto exclaimed, all previous thoughts of conspiracy theories forgotten.

Kakashi smiled to himself, somewhat impressed with Sasuke's apt, if a bit too obvious, handling. Because Sasuke knew that Kakashi's _business_ had to do with him and that Naruto's suspicions were correct. The Jounin had to report to the Hokage on his progress and behavior, answer any question the Hokage needed an answer to at the time, generally treating the boy as a criminal. He respected Tsunade profusely and understood her misgivings. He was pleasantly surprised to find that Sasuke did not mind the process too much. At times it almost felt like he actually sought some assurance that he was being punished, feeling perhaps that this was all too easy. Most of the time, Sasuke had had to wait for him outside the Hokage's office, guarded by her two ANBU and Sizune. Kakashi had often wondered if he himself would have snapped at them, being treated like a prisoner in a glass cage.

Naruto draped an arm around Sasuke's shoulder, speaking loudly and excitedly about everything and nothing at all. Kakashi watched them, expecting the patented curt remark and pat on the hand that would make Naruto throw a tantrum, but it never happened. If anything, Sasuke, who pretended not to notice, seemed just about content.

Kakashi sighed, hands slipping inside his pockets. "Yare, yare…"

Things were getting far too complicated far too fast. New jutsus, changes, new faces merging with the old ones, new bonds… Hatake Kakashi was not a man prone to change. He had his rituals- standing for hours on end in front of the ninja memorial, talking to his dead friend, confessing his failures to his dead mentor, sleeping with his face covered, looking at the pictures over his bed just once before going to bed and once as his eyes opened to face a new day. Two pictures of people smiling, oblivious to their futures; two candles always burning for him when he felt lost and needed a road mark to find his way back. Kakashi never took off his mask, never committed to a single woman, was always the first in the bookstore for the new Icha Icha book. That was who he was. And now his reality was filled with new tricks that made an old dog like him feel older yet.

He wondered if perhaps Pakun would understand.

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I know this was supposed to be a _Tide_ but I wanted to write Kakashi… and he is never obvious. So, the next will be the _Tide_. I haven't written a purely Naruto&Sasuke Chapter since the first so I think I'll do that. Drop a line if you feel like it. And know that lines- coughreviewscough- are much appreciated and make the writer and her muse happy.

Oh! Vocabulary. _Aah-_ yes/ yeah, _Yare, yare-_ my, my, _Yatta-_ hurray and stuff to that effect.

Ja ne!

M.


	6. Tide 3: Replacements

**A/N:** Thank you, all you wonderful people who take the time to read and review. You make this fun writing. I love you all. ::kiss kiss::

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, dattebayo… and I'm pretty sure you believe it.

* * *

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 3:_ Replacements_

"-have known better."

Ramen looked no more appealing than the last time he had been there and just as appalling. Swayed by his- he reluctantly admitted- contentment to have the familiar, however annoying, Dobe back- _safe_- he had not really gone through the contingencies in his head. If he had, he would have realized that the only place for ramen in Konoha according to Naruto was Ichiraku's. He had made the mistake to have lunch or dinner- ramen really didn't have a specific time for the Dobe, but he absolutely refused to join him there for breakfast- with the blonde there and the looks he received from the old man and his daughter had been entirely unsavoury. The man cared about Naruto and- Sasuke figured- he must have been the not-too-unwilling audience of many conversations about him over the years.

"- it's just not easy working with him. I mean- you were not easy either, but we made a good team when we wanted the-"

Sake somewhat washed the taste in his mouth and- hard as it was to acknowledge- the guilt in his heart, so he had some. Then had some more. Now his head felt rather foggy and he hated it. Really, he was coming to terms with the idea that there was simply no state of existence in which he was happy to just _be_. And as if the haze of alcohol wasn't enough, he had to deal with the Dobe too. In fact, the only thing cutting through the cotton-like quality of his thoughts with the ease and anguish of the sharp glass end of a broken sake bottle, was the loud voice narrating incessantly between bowls of ramen. He stared at the blonde next to him and morbidly considered that perhaps ramen would be the death of him. He could survive the most potent enemies, demons, people who made demons seem like cuddly plushies in comparison, but one of these days he _would_ choke on ramen. And he would absolutely _not_ give the boy a helpful pat on the back. Maybe an uppercut upside the head, but nothing caring like a _pat_.

"- but I suppose he and I make a good team too. It's just that I'm usually attacking _him_, because he has said one perverted thing or the other, so the enemies usually have some time to regroup and that's never-"

No, he would spare himself of the unnecessary violence, seeing as he was still on probation and all… He would simply watch him choke, because maybe that would shut him up. Or just because. His head was starting to throb with the mother of all headaches and the constant yapping beside him was expediting the process significantly. The idea behind drinking had been to unwind and maybe just hang out, which was probably too much to ask for to begin with given the company he kept. He was sure that some of the blame would eventually land on him if he kept thinking, _but_ as any good masochist in denial, does… he didn't think about it. That's what _denial_ is there for, providing services in many many things.

"- after all this time with Ero-sennin. But, as I was saying, the problem with Sai is that he's _too_ good of an artist. _Too_ much detail… that's why-"

Hell, denial aside for a moment, Sasuke would admit that he had wanted to hear about what the blonde had been up to. He would also have to acknowledge that he was thankful to Naruto for taking his thoughts away from himself. Which would lead to all sorts of _other_ self-deprecating confessions, so he didn't bother. This particular quandary pertained to the simple fact that there was no train of thought to follow and he was slightly- only slightly though- inebriated. This state was in all probability the reason he was getting increasingly aggravated with being compared to Sai every next sentence. There was something about the boy that got under his skin. Sasuke figured it was their unfortunate first meeting, but he wasn't entirely convinced and sake was further clouding his conviction.

"-when that image jumped to life, the guy almost had a stoke. We were supposed to be protecting him too." Naruto was mumbling almost absently now, his mouth probably reaching its running iota. Not. "I just stared. Sometimes Sai's more of a handful than I bargained for when Baa-chan teamed me up with him…"

Coming from Naruto, that said something. It said a lot. _It had said… What was he saying?_ Sasuke stared at the contents of his cup, attempting to filter the story through the word-vomit without looking as confused as he felt. Decorum had meant a lot to the Uchiha clan. Not that there was anyone left to reprimand him…And if there were, this indulgence would probably bottom the list of his transgressions.

"Teme, are you even listening?" the blonde's interest abruptly switched to his companion, quite likely feeling ignored.

Sasuke met his eyes insipidly. "Selectively." He deadpanned and smirked at the immediate response.

"Teme!"

"I don't like Sai." He said suddenly, surprising himself as the words left his lips. He hadn't meant to say anything of the short. He hadn't even realized the thought had formed in his head. And suddenly it was out there. His eyes widened a bit in confusion so he was not surprised to find Naruto stare back at him, disbelieving.

"Huh?" blue eyes were overcast with confusion, his tantrum the furthest thing from his mind. "You barely know the guy. He's crooked some, but he's a descent comrade… and friend."

"If you say so, Dobe." Sasuke huffed and took another sip, his dark eyes never moved to meet the inquiring blue. "Sorry I badmouthed your _team mate_."

Naruto looked at him oddly, cocking his head to the side. _Team mate_ coming from sour Sasuke sounded suspiciously akin to _clown_. "What's this about, Sasuke?"

_Sasuke_. It wasn't too often that he called him by his given name- not 'teme' or whatever else came up during their game of insults. It meant this wasn't a game. The last few times he could recall hearing it entailed blood and heartache for both of them. "Nothing." He said quickly, but his tone was sharp and told another story entirely.

Silence stretched on, the air thickened more and those blue eyes felt hard and brazen on him. He was suffocating.

"You left." Naruto's voice darkened suddenly.

Sasuke shook his head dismissively and frowned, not too eager to touch on the subject. Other than the questions he had to answer for the Godaime, it had been a silent pact of sorts to let what lay in the past rest in peace and start anew. It had worked marvellously until now.

"You _left_!" the blonde reiterated angrily at the raven's silence. _Left us… left me._

It seems that he had not taken into consideration drunken honesty. Naruto's or his own. "I had things to do." he said quietly. The words felt over rehearsed and silly on his lips.

In Naruto's ears too, apparently, because his voice picked up in volume. "That's bull and you know it."

Sasuke sighed. "Usuratonkachi…"

"You were a selfish, scared bastard who thought of himself as _such_ a tragic figure that you just _had_ to go off and do this alone." He spat.

"Naruto!" his tone was a clear warning that he was treading on thin ice. But then again, Sasuke thought that 'thin ice' could be a neon sign on the blonde's head, flashing bright 24-7.

His warning had been heard though, because Naruto paused as if he had been physically slapped across the face. Not that he was about to feel guilt about it… the pang in his chest was probably a throbbing nerve after his sparring with Kakashi. Yet he couldn't explain why he observed the blonde uncertainly as something in him tagged on an unexpected desire to take it all back and somehow make it right again.

When he spoke again, Naruto's voice was uncharacteristically low and subdued. "We were a three-man cell. The three of us were one, those who didn't care for their comrades were worse than scum. That had been our first lesson with Kakashi." There was something pained in those eyes as he met Sasuke's charcoal ones once again. "Remember?"

The look thickened that uncomfortable lump in his throat, but he clenched his jaw and spoke past it. "I don't regret my choices."

"Don't regret?" where there had been shock, now was pure indignation. "Never stopped to think there might be another way?"

"No."

Another moment that silence stretched to near dismissal, or so Sasuke had hoped, but as his luck would have it he was not nearly at the end of it. Honestly, he often thought that if not for his bad luck, he'd have no luck at all. Not that he'd sulk about this… too.

"No one is the best at everything."

Naruto's sober tone and the implications of his statement surprised him. He was used to the blonde's ear-splitting declarations of perfection and this was just too realistic. Not just realistic- it was no-fairytales, cut-and-dry real as it could get, even as both of them had squandered their lives and souls trying to prove otherwise.

Unexpectedly, unbearably, he continued. "I… I was always raw strength… or at least that's what Ero-sennin told me. I think I agree. I was never too good at strategizing or memorizing or thinking things through. I had my moments, but…that was you."

There was something unreadable in his smile, fragile and warm. Sasuke had to gulp past that annoying lump again, yet found no words there this time. He wanted to lighten the mood with a smirk or a snappy comeback, but he knew it had taken a lot out of the Dobe to say all those things so he tried not to be the bastard he was accused to be most of the time.

"You were strong- so strong it pissed me off sometimes… but you were also smart. That part still pisses me off." They both laughed for a moment, that drunken release only generous amounts of alcohol could provide for them. Then his voice was low again. "A genius." The word was proffered part in awe, part recognition and bitterness of what the villagers always saw in Sasuke and not once saw in him. "And Sakura." he perked up just saying her name, "Sakura knew _everything_ textbook perfect. And other than her ninja potential- Sakura- she balanced both of us. And look at her now. She's strong… All of us… we are all strong."

Sasuke just watched him as he spoke, feeling that he had missed out on something important in his pursuit of his murderous brother. "I'm years too late to change any of that now." He said almost flatly- almost, but Naruto knew him better than that. Sometimes, he suspected, better than himself.

"Whatever you needed to do, Sasuke, we could have done together." He took another sip of sake. "You didn't have to go get yourself new _friends_ to do the job."

Dark brows drew into a frown. "Team Hebi was not a replacement for Team 7." He didn't particularly like how defensive it had come out. "You… I could not afford to lose anyone else to Itachi. He had taken _everything_ away from me as a child and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop him other than run for my life. I was _not_ going to let him have you too." He stared into his empty cup, just to avoid Naruto's eyes. He felt like a lame idiot. _Moments_ were not his strong point. He decided that sake was bad for him and his image. And in any case why should he be apologizing when Naruto- Naruto _and_ Sakura- had done the same. Sai had been the new addition to Team 7, right? They were a _three-man cell_ with him, no?

Naruto seemed to be reading his thoughts as plainly as the labels of his instant ramen cups, which, quite frankly, was insulting to his character, but he let it slide. The blonde just gazed at him with eyes bright and shimmering with emotion, smiling content. Apparently he could evoke that emotion quite easily in the blonde and that thought made Sasuke's heart feel _human_ again. Almost the way it used to be before Itachi went coo-coo and slaughtered everyone. Almost as he was supposed to be feeling. _Human_.

"No one ever replaced you, Sasuke."

Sasuke wished he could wipe the smile that threatened to soften his features and had just about succeeded when he heard Naruto's next words.

"No one ever could."

Charcoal eyes met cobalt ones to find them staring earnestly, openly, enfolding. And he smiled. He couldn't help himself and honestly didn't even try to. He felt real and tangible in that moment, that he had roots to that place. That he was not the stranger everyone saw in him. Naruto mirrored his small smile with a grin, but even as the curve of their lips differed, the emotion behind them was mutual and deep and genuine.

And both recognized it as the oddest feeling of finally coming home.

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So… that was the missing Tide… I hope you people enjoyed it. Again I'd like to thank everyone who encouraged me, reviewed and pmed me.

Next Chapter is an Ebb and it's Sakura pov. She's not a favourite character but I like her enough and her character growth has been perhaps the most spectacular. I mean, come on… think season 1 and compare with present… better yet, the manga if you're reading it. Gotta pay my respect to that change.

Till then, ja!

PS. Reviews is love. Don't turn me into Gaara… I'd make a pathetic Gaara. My gourd would contain only the dust on my desk. Not a very impressive _sabaku no kyu_ there…


	7. Ebb 4: Pink Clouds

**A/N:** Again, thank you all::kisses and huggies:: I would also like to thank "**?" **here, because his/her reviews are anonymous and I have no way to reply. It was also brought to my attention that the definitions of Tides and Ebbs are not as clear as I assumed… Assumptions are bad. So. _Tides_ are the chapters that the character whose pov I'm using is admitting to/confessing to something. _Ebbs_ are the chapters that the character- always the one whose pov I'm using- keeps their thoughts to themselves… Kakashi and Sai are my favorite people for _Ebbs_ because they are by nature elusive when it comes to their personal feelings. For those of you who asked I will be doing another chapter with Sai, just not yet. There's some Sai in this if that counts. Heh Again, tons of love to you all. **3 **

**Disclaimer:** Kishi-sama owns the Naruniverse… ;-)

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 4:_ Pink Clouds_

Little girls always dreamt of things. Even the ones that played with kunais instead of dolls and didn't make flower arrangements as often as mending clothes or tending to bruises after fights with boys. And in every little girl's dream there was a _Prince_ _Charming_. Most times it was the boy that they blushed and stuttered around and looked all silly- always in retrospection. Sometimes it was the boy they beat up and argued with the most. But there was always that _one boy_, whether a fictional figure they would come across in the future or a very real person that could be the source of their romantic plights all the way to adulthood.

Sakura had been the latter once. For her there could be only one boy and that would have been Sasuke. Or so she had thought way back when the width of her forehead had been her sole cause of misery and for the longest time.

"That was uncalled for, you bastard!"

Naruto and Sasuke were arguing. Again. She considered chastising them, but the sight gave her an unimaginable sense of relief. It was their familiar, ever-the-same rivalry that had always been an integral part of their bond. And she used the word _bond_ and not _friendship, _because what they had was deeper than such definitions. Seeing them like that almost made her believe that the past few years were a horrible nightmare and their yells finally woke her from it. No Orochimaru or Itachi or Akatsuki- Team 7 never cracked, no one nearly broke. That was her fantasy- the pink little cloud of her adult life, much like Prince Charming had been the pink cloud of her childhood. At times she surprised herself that she could still daydream. After everything, she thought of herself to be much more disillusioned than this.

Team 7 had cracked. Most of them had come close to breaking. And some of them had found a means to redefine themselves. The thought brought her attention to the person sitting next to her. Sai had been the band aid they had thought they didn't need in their plan to bring Sasuke back. It had taken them a while to find common ground-and the fact that always questioned Naruto's _size_ and called her a bitch never really helped- and even now he was quite hard to comprehend at times, but she had come to trust him after a fashion and even feel for him, knowing his past. The pale boy with the fake smiles and supposed lack of emotions was sitting on a boulder beside her, smiling as ever, currently drafting something she was rather sure she did not want to see.

"TEME!"

Sakura's teal eyes drifted back to the two boys glaring daggers at each other just in time to see Sasuke mouth, more than actually replying with, his typical _"Usuratonkachi…"_. And with that they were charging at each other- the familiar dance of kunais and blows that ended only because both could still experience physical exhaustion. Their fight of insults would generally outlast their sparring sessions, as they usually ended up lying spent and still exchanging expletives in between pants and groans.

It all made her feel like she was 12 again, with her only care in the world being how to get Sasuke to date her before _Ino-pig_ did. The thought made her laugh to herself, bringing Sai out of his thought for a few moments only to then return to his sketch with renewed zeal. Yeah, she _really_ didn't want to see.

Naruto kicked and punched, his chakra crackling in the air powerful and fiery. Sasuke moved in fluid dodges taunting him, barely using any chakra at all. He moved on pure natural grace. Water-like. _Snake-like…_

A shiver ran down her spine and the pink cloud of her early teens dissolved into the spiteful reality that those two were not _boys_ anymore; they were _men_ with the entire history of their hurt and rewards scribbled on souls- one gravitating towards darkness, but resisting in search of a light, the other striving to shine, but not quite allowed to thrive in the sun- and their bodies- one pale as the moon, the other bronze as the sun- in painful marks that only the two of them could really read. She figured, if she could read those marks, if they would show her how, they would tell a story she didn't want to know in more detail than she already did. So she never asked them.

She had watched those two men she loved more than life itself, quite figuratively, turn into monsters right before her eyes. There had been times so dark that she had almost lost faith that they would- could- ever find their way back. But they did.

Sasuke was still in many ways who he had always been to her- her crush, the Prince Charming of her childhood dreams. He was dark, mysterious and beautiful in any way she could possibly think of. Her eyes moved to Naruto, currently pinned under the protégé, yelling indignantly about perverts. Naruto had been a nuisance at first, her friend later… her best friend and only constant as the world crumbled around her when Sasuke left. Somewhere along the way what she felt for him transcended the platonic. No one had been more surprised than her- not that anyone knew, mind you, though Yamato's and Tsunade's observation skills were scary- but Naruto had _earned_ the emotions she effortlessly had for Sasuke. Her starry-eyed, passionate Naruto.

And then there was the two of them. In a way they would always be more smitten with each other than they could ever be with another person, however remarkable, and that was fine. They had ruined their chances for actual fulfillment with anyone else, but they both seemed oblivious and indifferent to the cost that loss would bear for any ordinary person. They found their sense of completion in their bond with its very vague, very dangerous boundaries. As to her, she would always be their _princess_ and Kami have mercy on whoever hurt, insulted or otherwise offended so much as her little pinkie, lest they fall victim to advanced and innovate jutsus. She could fend for herself just fine, but their protectiveness was a warm blanket against hardship that she refused to part with.

Sakura had come to accept that she was- and would probably always be- in love with both of them in different ways, but would end up with neither of them- not date, much less marry. She could neither choose nor compete with either for their affections. She sometimes fantasized- though it hurt a bit- that Naruto and Sasuke would one day have their own families and she hoped that the Uchihas looked as gorgeous as Sasuke, but smiled more and that the Uzumakis were lively like Naruto, but wiser- and she would have hers. And maybe her date with Lee was long overdue.

"You are going down, you pervert!"

Naruto again, this time the _pervert_ being Sai, who was running for his life, still smiling- this time genuinely amused- while Sasuke appeared quite intrigued by the piece of paper that had set the blonde off. Sakura decided she _didn't_ want to know, but probably had an idea what that was about.

Sighing, she rose from the log she had been sitting on all this time and dusted herself. Lee was a good man. She might not be head over heels in love with him, but he made her feel that it was worth taking a shot at. Lee was as descent and honorable as they came and any woman should be proud to have a man like that by her side. Horrible green spandex aside, Lee was damn near perfect.

As she started to make her way towards the boys for some badly needed damage control, she considered that in addition to making her stronger, a better person and what not, their childishness might also have prepared her to be a good mother. Unbidden, the image of a male toddler with bushy pink eyebrows came to mind.

Sakura shuddered.

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So that was Ebb 4 for you. I decided to get myself down to updating a bit sooner, because I was late last time. ) This was unexpectedly LOTS of fun writing. And I say 'unexpectedly' because I really wasn't sure I could write Sakura… Think I did I good job? Be kind enough to drop a line a let me know. Thanx!

Till next time, ja!

M.


	8. Ebb 5: Sands of Time

**A/N:** I know I said _Tide_… but freakin' Gaara and _Tide_ didn't end up going along… so it's an _Ebb_… Sorry for misleading… I tried, but ended up like '_The Little Engine that Could_'. T.T Next Tide will be a big SasuNaru Chapter… :::sucks up some major bootey:-

As ever, the chapter begins with my thanks to those who make it fun to write by reviewing… and you who read and don't review I suppose. I see over 700 hits for the story and kinda wonder if you guys hated it and never came back. But as long as you didn't bash me, I'll entertain myself with the notion that you did like it and couldn't find the words. LOL ;-) Thanx also to Kakashi's Dog. Author's notes are the only way to thank anonymous reviewers. )

**Disclaimer:** If wishes were horses I'd own the species. As it is I don't own either horses OR Naruto. Dammit.

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 5:_ Sands of Time_

Time and Sand had one thing in common- they both seemed infinite, but weren't. Time and Sand found a common place to inhabit in the hourglass, one running out as the other reached its designated iota. For the longest time in his life, he had felt that he was in the bottom part of Life's Hourglass, filling with too much Sand and running out of time too fast, unless he broke free. Unless he broke through anyone and anything that stood in his way out.

It had been no wonder then, perhaps, that his first instinct had been violence all this time ago.

As such, Sabaku no Gaara had known loneliness in a way that few people could ever dread to ever experience it. And he had known darkness, not as the black pit that most describe it to be, but as the red color of his insatiable thirst for blood. Time had moved ruthlessly slow until he had died to prove his worth to the people who feared him more than their worst enemy; rightfully so at the time. He could not quite fathom how he had managed to go from being the hideous monster and ultimate weapon and curse of Suna to their adored Kazekage, but the catalyst for the change had a name and a shape in the physical world.

It had all started here a long time ago, though not quite as long as it seemed.

Konoha had been a crossroad for him. Then there had come a time that he had felt more homesick away from it than from Suna. He smiled, very softly, as his teal eyes moved to his sister, a few feet away from him, mercilessly taunting Nara Shikamaru. The thought came to him that perhaps Temari was the only one who could understand his feelings about this, even as they stemmed from an _entirely_ different source that also had a shape for her and a face that looked slightly less lazy whenever she was around, however _troublesome_.

Time had been a kind chaperone to what had easily been _there_, even when they had been adversaries.

"You don't have to wait with me." He said politely, but it always came out more offhanded than he had intended.

He did love his sister. And he liked the Nara boy well enough to spare him the I-am-watching-you looks. Temari was older than him and a very capable fighter; she could be quite bloodcurdling, even by his standards, when she wanted to. But Kami save the man who would break her heart from his wrath- and Kankuro's, he was sure- Shukaku or not.

Temari just smiled at him. She was one of the people who knew him best. Her, Kankuro, Baki and Uzumaki Naruto.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered, earning her glare. He rolled his eyes, but smiled just a little.

Gaara considered them a very unlikely pair of people to get along. A bit like himself and Rock Lee. Well, not _exactly_ the same, being that his sister and the Nara boy got along a bit _too_ well not to be suspicious. He had been pretty clueless until Temari had started visiting Konoha every other week and since it was a three day trip- barring sandstorms- that said a lot. He had shared his thoughts with Kankuro. His brother had just rolled his eyes and left the room, saying something about being a hell of a Kazekage but having a long way to go about being one of the guys. He was sure that was an insult.

"Oy! Gaara!" Naruto's voice belled, loud and excited.

He couldn't help but smile a little more at the blonde's happy grin. It really _had_ been a while since they had last seen each other. "Naruto." He greeted quietly.

"Hey, Shikamaru." He smiled at his friend- a smile suddenly hued sly, when he noticed Temari next to him. "Showing Temari around _again_, huh?" The implication was a little too clear and it earned him a deceptively hard flick on the forehead by Temari that sent him a couple of dizzy steps back. Time had not taught him better in spite of the harshness of his experiences. "Hey there…" he greeted nervously.

She gave him a stern look then turned to Shikamaru, who looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights. Temari smiled. "You haven't finished _showing me around_ this week." She said playfully and hooked an arm around his, dragging him along. "Have fun boys."

"Women sure are troublesome…" he repeated his patented line, though around Temari it didn't sound quite so aggravated. He nodded at Gaara and Naruto. "Ja ne…"

"You'd think he could have defended me a little…" Naruto mumbled somewhat dejectedly, then turned to Gaara. "Man your sister is scary… _scary_ runs in your family. Kankuro's dolls are scary. And y-" he suddenly stopped himself, eyes darting at Gaara who looked back nonchalant as ever, most likely wondering just how thin the ice he almost treaded on was. "Where is Lee anyway?" he changed the subject, not out of nervousness but simply because, somewhere between wondering if he had insulted the redhead and kicking himself for touching on a sensitive topic, his train of thought had jumped tracks. "It's not like him to be late…"

Uzumaki Naruto was a Jinchuuriki like him- a vessel for the tailed demon inside him. It had been easy to connect without using too many unnecessary words- that is, after he had stopped wanting to kill everyone to prove his existence. And yet, the blonde's idea about proving his existence had always been protecting and serving everyone. He still often wondered how it was possible to start off at the same place and walk paths so different. Cry as much and not run out of tears. Not be drained of the capacity for love.

He shifted uncomfortably at his own reverie. "Maybe he couldn't make it." He said, his eyes moving to the sky above and setting sun. "My visit was last minute, after all."

"Are you kidding?" Naruto arched his brows. "I haven't seen him this _youthful_ in a while." The pun was easily amusing to anyone who had witnessed the _bonding_ scene between Gai and Lee and Gaara was no exception. The blonde's grin grew satisfied that he could entertain his friends, then softened just a little as a new thought came to him. "I only wish Sasuke could have made it. It would be nice if you guys could start over."

"I saw Sasuke on my way to Tsunade-sama's office. He and Kakashi were just leaving." He commented. He omitted the part about neither looking too happy to see each other. Time had not changed his mind about the Uchiha. He was unable to view him with anything less than, at best, suspicion.

"You did?" the golden arch clouded into a frown. "Sasuke didn't tell me he was meeting with Baa-chan…"

And just as Time would not lessen his misgivings, it would also not affect Naruto's blind adoration of the raven.

"Gaara-kun! Naruto-kun!"

Lee's voice interrupted the exchange before it went down any unpleasant roads. The Green Monster of Konoha raced to where they were waiting in his usual astonishing speed, in spite of the preposterously heavy weights on his legs. Now, in the case of Rock Lee, Gaara had to admit that his encounter with him had been a great, big, _deserving_ slap across the face. In the literal sense, he had shown him that his defense was not perfect. In a figurative way, had he shown him that his defense was not perfect. The wording was the same and perhaps so had been the impact. Lee had made him see that he was human- could bleed- and needed what humans had- love, bonds. Naruto had provided the evidence that this could be true even for _them_. He knew he owed them both a great dept, he was unsure he could ever repay.

"I'm sorry to be late." Lee said catching his breath. "But I had to do 400 laps around the training grounds before I could join you."

Naruto blinked once, unimpressed, as they started walking. "Lost to Neji again?"

"Naruto-kun, that was not a nice thing to say." Lee said seriously, though not offended. "Neji and I are quite evenly matched at this point."

"So who did you lose to then?" Naruto pressed on, even more curious now that the usual suspect had been scratched from the list. "Gai-sensei?"

A pink shade tinted Lee's cheeks and he muttered something under his breath.

"Huh?" Naruto etched towards him to hear. "What was that?"

"Ten-Ten." Gaara provided unphased and watched the blonde jump back comically and point at Lee.

"You lost to Ten-Ten?" he yelled, disbelieving. "I didn't know she was that strong."

"Well, I…" Lee stood straight. "She is."

Naruto gapped. "Wha-?"

Gaara was amused by how easily the blonde would buy into acts. Lee's sense of chivalry would be evident to the clueless. It made Gaara deeply doubt that Naruto had any sort of sixth sense about things. "And Lee would never beat up or berate a woman." He smirked, his comment earning surprised expressions from the other two. Was it really so shocking that he had allowed himself to become human enough to understand? He supposed it was. Naruto and Lee were now both smiling at him though so maybe not. He cleared his throat. "Are we heading anywhere, or are we wandering aimlessly?"

"We are headed somewhere special." Naruto said with an all too obvious _secretive_ smile.

"Naruto-kun, are we going to Ichiraku's again?" Lee asked, not bothering to hide his disapproval.

Gaara had half expected it to explode into a ramen argument, but Naruto just shook his head and led the way. Perhaps he had grown a bit or maybe it was just some particular people that got under his skin. His eyes moved to the sky again. This time it looked a lot closer and he realized that they were walking uphill. It didn't surprise him too much that their destination was the Sandaime's head on the Hokage monument. The blonde had often told him about it and how great the view was, but witnessing it for himself, he realized no words could really suffice and he didn't know enough shades of gold, red and purple to describe the sunset.

"How does it feel to have the demon out of you?" Naruto suddenly asked.

He felt Lee tense up beside him. Only Naruto could have asked this question so openly. "Human." He said honestly. "I don't have to struggle with the Demon in me… but if I need its chakra again, it won't be there." It was a double edged sword for any Kage, losing power like that. "Not if I need it. Not if my people need it. I'm not quite as resilient anymore."

Naruto nodded, his eyes captured by the setting sun. "I think I'm losing it, Gaara. My control over the Kyuubi." His jaw clenched. "Something changed after those battles with the Akatsuki… I think Sasuke can feel it… maybe even see it. I haven't seen Neji in a while to ask for his help with Byakugan… but, honestly, I'm not sure I want to know."

"I can talk to Neji if you want…" Lee placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "But you should also discuss this with Tsunade-sama… she will know what to do…"

"What does Sasuke see?" Gaara pressed rather than comfort him. Comfort was not his forte.

The boy looked surprised by the question as if he had been asked the obvious, then smiled somewhat sadly. "He doesn't. Sasuke has never been the type to address matters… but I can tell. He will look just a bit longer or his eyes will narrow when he thinks I'm not paying attention. I know him better than he likes to think." His lips thinned, uncharacteristically. "I try not to ask 'why now?'… Sasuke is back… the Akatsuki is down… why now?"

Gaara and Lee just watched him. He must have felt it, because suddenly he grinned. That grin was as much of a defense as Gaara's stoic expression. Time had taught them both how to hide in plain sight.

"Naruto-kun, whatever is wrong, your friends are with you and we will face it together." Lee smiled in his 'nice guy pose'. "It's a promise!"

Lee would never change with time. He was a pure soul that none of life's ugliness had been able to taint. He did not have a mean bone in his body and Gaara hoped that it would stay that way. People like Lee made people like him aspire to be more than they had been or currently were. People like Lee were a necessity in the blood-soaked world of the shinobi to keep them in check and remind them that there is a line that they can _choose_ not to cross.

Yet Time seemed to work against promises and often demanded one's life and soul as a price. For Naruto's and their sake, he hoped that they had all paid their dues and maybe, just maybe, this once it would be alright. If not, he would honestly do what he had to to break his friend's fall- and Lee's too, if he joined Naruto in trying to keep his promise. His eyes moved between them for a moment. He wanted to show them that he too had learned how to fight against the odds and prove _destiny_ wrong.

"Dobe."

All three turned to that voice. Sure enough there stood Uchiha Sasuke in all his conceited glory.

Naruto almost fell off the monument, jumping up so fast. "What are you doing here, Teme?"

"Usuratonkatchi…" An unexpected pink tainted the Uchiha's alabaster skin as he looked away. "Tsunade-sama needed to see Kakashi. I'm supposed to be with either him or you until probation is over."

Gaara watched as Naruto walked up to him with a small smile. The Uchiha's charcoal eyes swept over him and Lee in way of greetings for a short moment before returning to the blonde. He pulled a small scroll out of his vest and offered it to Naruto.

"By the way, Kakashi asked me to pass this over. Apparently Sai wrote down the details of your upcoming mission for you." He almost rolled his eyes. "How nice."

Naruto accepted it with as much caution as something that could bite him. Bite him in a very sensitive part of his anatomy at that. "What does it say?"

This time Sasuke _did_ roll his eyes. "It's still _sealed_, Dobe."

The blonde muttered something under his breath, as he unsealed the scroll, that earned him the infamous Uchiha glare for a moment. But as he read the contents of the scroll and the blood seemed to drain from his face only to return full force in an angry blush, all three boys watched him concerned at various degrees of obviousness.

Lee being the most apparent of the three, of course. "Naruto-kun, what's the matter?" he asked, moving to join the other two.

Naruto moved away on instinct, cobalt eyes wide. "That's just…"

"I think he's mortified." Gaara said, not hiding his rare curiosity that only increased as the boy set off, muttering curses and looking rather feral.

Sasuke was about to follow, when Lee voiced the question Naruto had been unable to ask him or answer for them. "What do you see?"

The raven paused and looked at Lee over his shoulder. "What?"

"Naruto-kun said that something feels wrong with the Kyuubi." He stepped closer. "He thinks that you can see something in him. Can you?"

Sasuke held the other boy's gaze for a long moment, then looked over at Gaara. "Yes."

"And what is it that you see?" the redhead reiterated the question, his eyes narrowing before he could stop himself.

"Hope." Was all Sasuke said, then disappeared before another word was spoken.

Gaara smirked slightly. No other words were necessary. Lee seemed to silently share his thoughts as he turned to face him with a smile. So maybe Time had taught the Uchiha one or two things. And maybe Gaara had to be more open-minded, if he ever hoped to approach what the boy clad in that ridiculous green spandex suit could feel so naturally. Trust. Hope… Love.

The Sands of Time still slid inside the Hourglass of his life without care, but he no longer felt smothered, nor did he panic. He came to the conclusion, some time ago, with the help of people who dared to believe in him, that there was another way out of the bottom part other than breaking through it violently; he could grow. Grow too big to be contained by what others had decided for him.

Sabaku no Gaara looked at the moon, slowly rising over the treetops, and realized how fortunate he was that his future lay shapeless before him- a blank page.

He smiled back at Lee, sealing his promise as one he intended to keep against the capricious Time.

* * *

So… that was Ebb 5… I really hope it was worth the wait… I was bad with updating and will try to keep it from happening again. R&R if you want… I want you to. ;-)

M.


	9. Tide 4: Habits and Rituals

**A/N:** There is the _Tide_ I promised. SasuNaru is quite a bit more heavily implied, because the chapter is like that. I have always felt that Naruto may have had some issues to address other than the obvious ones I played with already… Dammit, I'm making him have more issues than the Rolling Stone… lol In any case, it's a big chapter that I had considered breaking in two, but that would be cheating. Again, thank you all and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it… ::kiss kiss::

Btw, this will be the first time I'm splitting povs [meaning that every character will have their two cents on what's going on for the first part, because this particular theme loses much as a single pov. Oh… and I'm overusing italics to stress some things especially in Naruto's mind… and some cursing…

Special thanks to **TWNJ** for her beautiful, beautiful drawings that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! You are amazing!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… I share some of Naruto's issues tho and I actually have issues of the manga… :::last part is so lame, she hides:::

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 4:_ Habits and Rituals_

It was a strange habit that he had wanted to quit for some time, but never actually got around to it for whatever reason. He had the _habit_ of feeling like a puppy when it came to his best friend- always following after him, ever eager to forgive whatever beating he gave him. The more he thought of it, the more the habit seemed unreal and out-of-character to him. This crossed loyalty and bordelined plain masochism. And that wasn't who he was. That was not who a future _Hokage_ was supposed to be.

He was supposed to meet Kakashi and the bastard before their training session for breakfast. They were late. Really, _really_ late. As in Kakashi's lost-my-way-in-life's-path kind of late. Apparently it was okay for Sasuke to pick up on their old teacher's bad habit, because _it went without saying_ that Naruto would wait for him. He didn't know where they had been training either. What was up with that? And he didn't even _want_ to start counting the number of visits with Baa-chan that Sasuke hadn't mentioned and that he had only found out _incidentally_. He had thought that secrecy had been a habit they had both agreed to get rid of. And to make matters worse, Sasuke had probably told her about the Kyuubi acting up too, because Tsunade had _ordered_ him to visit the Konoha hospital for a full physical by her _and_ Sakura and cancelled his latest mission with Sai. Quite frankly, what he felt was something between being asshurt and betrayed however well he knew Sasuke and his _indirect_ approach to matters.

It was thoughts like these that had put Naruto in a very vinegary mood, which was how Kakashi and Sasuke found him.

"Naruto." The Jounin greeted, carefully assessing his ex-student. This was so unlike him. He could be groggy in the morning after a restless or short sleep, but never grouchy like that. Every day was a new day to Uzumaki Naruto for as long as he had known the boy. Sasuke seemed to share his thoughts in a quick glance, but said nothing.

The blonde nodded and fell in step with them with a grumbled, quietly muttered, "Ohayo…"

After a few moments of silence, Sasuke turned to the blonde with a frown. "What's the matter with you today, Usuratonkachi?" his tone flat as ever.

Naruto glared daggers at him. Sasuke's frown deepened in confusion. Kakashi's brow arched in question. Yet all three decided to walk in silence, in spite of all evidence that Naruto was seething. Habit was, again, to blame for that. Because Naruto had the habit to wait for a trigger. Sasuke had the habit of providing one. And Kakashi had the habit to watch and let them resolve their issues between themselves until he absolutely _had_ to get involved.

And true to habit, Sasuke provided the trigger, having had it with the pregnant silence that Naruto was not very good at maintaining. "Spill it, Dobe."

Kakashi just knew that had been the wrong kind of probing attempt. He wondered how it was that the Uchiha's otherwise honed instincts failed so miserably when it came to his best friend.

"Is that your _order_, Teme? If so, maybe I should go ahead and comply just to please you." He spat.

To say that the Uchiha had been taken aback by the outburst would be a severe understatement. "Please me…?"

"Or maybe you have more in mind, hm? First of many orders to come?"

Kakashi was sure that he'd have a field day with this line later, taunting both of them per habit, but for now his ex-student seemed genuinely upset. "What is this about, Naruto?"

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish a few times, no words coming out, then he shook his head. "Nothing…" he said glumly.

"Have you been drinking?"

This came from Sasuke. And it really sent Naruto off the edge into raving fury.

"Fuck you, Teme!" he charged at him, forcing him unceremoniously on the ground. "Unlike what you _think_, I am _not_ your fucking _dog_, here to roll over and wag my tail at your every _whim_!"

There was something venomously honest about those words, spoken so uncharacteristically to the blonde's nature, that prevented Sasuke from fighting back. "Those are _your_ words, Dobe. Not mine."

Naruto glared, whether infuriated by the Uchiha's words or impassivity it was unlikely if he himself could tell. "Yes- you prefer to run your words by the _Hokage _first these days, don't you?"

He hadn't thought it was possible to feel more confused, but trust Naruto to be the number one ninja in surprise him. "What?"

His grip on Sasuke's shirt tightened. "You told Baa-chan about whatever you saw going on with the Kyuubi in me without even talking to me about it first!"

This time those bottomless obsidian eyes set on Naruto firmly, meaning to scold as if he were a child. Only Sasuke- not Tsunade or Kakashi or even Iruka- could pull that look with him so efficiently.

"You already _know_ what is going on, Dobe, and _you_ haven't talked to _me_ about it. And, more to the point, I was pretty sure you hadn't told Tsunade- the _one_ person who may have enough knowledge in seals to help you." His tone was perhaps harsher than he had intended, but he was sure that he had made the right choice. And part of him had wanted to tackle the blonde and demand answers much the same way he was finding himself now.

Naruto's fist was up and coming down before Kakashi could step in to stop him. Sasuke closed his eyes on instinct waiting for the hit. Perhaps he owed him at least that much. Bemused as he was about the blonde's tantrum, something in him knew- just _knew_, the way Sasuke had always _known_ when it came to Naruto.

"Ch'kuso!" his hand hit the ground next to Sasuke's head, forming a small crater on impact. He waited for the raven to open his eyes, trying to fathom some sort of reaction. Receiving none- and really, why would Sasuke break his habit for _him_?- Naruto slowly rose off of him. "Just _once_, I wish I could really hurt you back, Teme." He said softly. "But dogs don't do that, do they?"

Other than a slight crease of the brow, that could almost be considered permanent on the Uchiha, his face resembled a perfect porcelain mask.

Kakashi had crouched on his knees and simply watched the exchange. He sighed. He wished Sakura was there to beat the crap out of her two boys and maybe in the process also beat some sense into them. They had this very nasty habit of complicating things between them a lot more than was necessary and definitely obscure what was otherwise clear to everyone but them. He nodded at Naruto as he breathed his quick apology to him before setting off. His visible eye then settled on Sasuke, who neither moved nor spoke for several moments, keeping his gaze skywards in what Kakashi assumed was pensive reverie as to what he should do. He reckoned the boy should already have the answer to that.

After a few moments of feeling the weight of his old mentor's gaze on him, Sasuke closed his eyes. "I know, Kakashi." He answered to everything the Jounin hadn't said.

xXx

Naruto sank in his chair at Ichiraku's, his ramen untouched. It almost felt like sacrilege to have his favorite thing in the world in front of him and being unable to enjoy it. He couldn't even begin to think about eating anything with his stomach tied in throbbing knots of guilt and embarrassment. Everything had made perfect sense when his anger had been burning red hot… But that was some time ago and, after his anger had burnt itself out, his head now cool, now he just wanted to crawl under the ramen bowl and die. Or die eating ramen.

_If you live by ramen, you die by ramen._

He nodded to himself, momentarily pleased about his moment of epiphany, but then he realized that he would only be proving the Teme right in that ramen would one day be the death of him. And with that his train of thought came full circle, once again returning to Sasuke.

His indignant outburst had seemed like the only truth at the time, but in retrospection he knew it was a load of crap. Sasuke didn't make him do _anything_. He was not the Master Puppeteer behind his actions. Sasuke was the person he held dearest in the world, the person he actually felt that he _needed _and sometimes actually felt that he was needed by him too; it was a most strangely fulfilling emotion. He needed Sasuke back and would have gone after him and brought him back even if no one else had joined him in his quest and even if Sasuke himself had cursed, bit, kicked and punched him all the way back. He _had_ kept going after Sasuke, even as the Uchiha had sent him away, even as he was shown the way out every time. He _would_ have brought him back to the village that day, even if he died right after he stepped past the gates of Konoha. He almost _did_ die that day, carrying the bastard in spite of his own injuries- but he would certainly die before he told Sasuke that.

So there, it was all him. If that made him Sasuke's _dog_, then, fuck it, so be it.

A chair was pulled next to his. One graceful move and Sasuke was sitting beside him, ordering miso ramen. Which he hated. It was almost like a peace offering. The first time it happened Naruto had had to resist the urge to hug his friend and thank him. It wasn't becoming of Ninjas, in his opinion.

They had started this ritual of sorts after Sasuke was back and around. Things had been very tense those first weeks of seeming _freedom_ and the arguments between them would quickly escalate. He supposed that's what happened when so much had been left unsaid between two people. It was around that time that Kakashi had stopped trying to interfere and simply chaperoned their fights. And it was after such fights that Naruto would stomp over to Ichiraku's trying to cheer himself up with his adored ramen, doomed to fail. Until Sasuke would come find him there and order miso ramen. He would eat very little, then they would exchange idle words- which was as close to _apology_ as either of them would ever get. Then Naruto would ask him if he was going to finish his ramen and Sasuke would let him have it.

And just like that, all would be well and wonderful again.

Naruto felt his shame overwhelm him, his previous words seeming that much more real and horrible. "Sasuke…" he began, but the words died on his lips. What was he supposed to say?

Sasuke watched him out of the corner of his eye, waiting for a moment for the blonde would continue, then sighed. His ordered miso ramen was set in front of him. He broke the chopsticks and muttered, "Itadakimasu…"

The blonde simply watched the raven slowly eat the food he didn't really care for, unable to guess what he was thinking.

After a few moments, Sasuke paused and closed his eyes. "A dog is a man's best friend, no?" he said lamely.

It was very hard to understand for someone who didn't know the Uchiha well enough, but this was his terrible attempt at comforting him. Naruto knew him though and he tried not to laugh, deeply touched by the sheer effort he was sure Sasuke was putting into this and not wanting to discourage his venture to be more… _common_- and common was one thing the great Uchiha Sasuke could never be, even though it cost him dearly most of the time, more than most could ever estimate. That man could be a genius at all manner of ninja stuff but he royally _sucked_ at pep talks and all thongs cozy and intimate.

Naruto settled for a smile, wishing the raven would show this side of him more often. "Aah…"

Apparently, his reaction somewhat encouraged Sasuke, who relaxed slightly as he continued. "So… it rather makes sense that you would be my dog… no?"

Naruto's eye twitched and was fairly certain he felt a vein pop in his head, but forced the smile to stay on his lips. "I suppose so…"

"That settles it then." Sasuke made an innocent face. "You are my bitch."

"WHA-?! TEME!" Naruto yelled disbelieving, eyes popping out of their sockets, jaw hanging open and blush spreading furiously on his cheeks. He had _never_ heard Sasuke say that word with him- even though they had admittedly both thought it at Sakura at one point or another, much like she had her own line of expletives just for the two of them.

Sasuke's responding smirk wasn't smug. It was amused and goading. "Usuratonkachi…" he murmured almost affectionately. "I _did_ go to Tsunade. I _did_ tell her that the Kyuubi is trying to lull you into ripping the seal. I know you are tempted and can't help it at the time."

He winced and looked away from the raven, a shiver running through him at how accurate those words had been. The Kyuubi could cloud his reason during those inner dialogues and make the craziest of ideas sound good. Like removing the seal. Maybe while he was trying to get Sasuke back and fight the Akatsuki, he might have entertained the notion at the most desperate moments- fully letting the Kyuubi out- but there was no reason for that now. Everything was okay now. Sasuke was back now.

Naruto felt a hand gripping his wrist, forcing his attention back to Sasuke, who continued seriously, holding his gaze. "I told her, because you were procrastinating and this is dangerous for you. Friends protect each other, whether they want it or not. And if even _try_ to deny this, you're a hypocrite." He looked away, suddenly self conscious, blushing slightly. "You have to stay safe now. After everything, it'd be stupid to die tripping on one of that old fox's tails."

The blonde studied him for a long moment, before smiling- as habit would have it- more openly affectionate. The Great Uchiha sounded like a lost kid when he was trying to express worry and warmth at the same time. It saddened him and amused him to think that his lack of social graces were a novice in the Uchiha clan. Or so he had heard. It had been rumored that the youngest of the Uchiha was a shy and cute, loving child, thirsty for recognition. Naruto knew that Sasuke would have grown up much differently if he had been spared his brother's insanity, but he was sure that he had met that bratty kid everyone had told him about. That boy was still in his friend and shone through at the oddest moments- mostly for him though- however stoic the Uchiha wanted to pass himself off to be.

Sasuke pushed the ramen bowl to Naruto, true to their ritual- somewhat shy still, quite cute and attempting not to appear loving. "Here, yours is cold now."

Yes, Naruto knew that kid everyone had assumed died inside after the massacre. "Thank you, Sasuke.!" He said suddenly giving in to his recovered appetite.

Sasuke gave him a small smile before his gaze moved up into the heavens to trace the slowly drifting clouds. Maybe Shikamaru had it right. "… Thank you…"

Naruto paused, eyes wide and uncertain. Now he was sure he was hearing things. "… What did you say?"

The smart smirk was back in place when the other boy looked back. "I am not saying it twice." He said in his usual, stuck-up tone, but there was something that was not quite that aloof there; something soft and supple. "But I should have said it a long time ago."

The blonde finally closed his comically open mouth and a smile- small and true- curved his lips as he looked at the empty bowl. The Uchiha could never be _common_ and Naruto was thankful for that. "Ne, Sasuke?"

"Hm?" he asked, his eyes back on the clouds again and if anyone asked about the pink hue that dusted his face, he'd readily say that his pale skin was still sensitive to the sun- and he'd dare anyone think that was _girly_. Including the Dobe.

Naruto's eyes slipped to the raven beside him. Those charcoal eyes seemed to reflect and swallow all light. It was breathtaking, he had to admit, and sometime it made his heart beat faster at just how perfect he could look. More than just about any person he could think of, Sasuke looked… splendid. And damn if he had ever even _used_ that word before _him_. He shook his head and frowned to himself for a moment before retracking his thoughts. "Maybe next time _you_ could choose where we eat."

Sasuke arched a brow, eyeing the blonde amused, yet definitely surprised. This almost had the makings of sacrilege. "You'll part from your precious ramen for _me_?"

He twiddled his fingers for a moment, then grinned. "Maybe it will be worth it if I means hearing you thank me again."

The raven looked back disbelieving for a few seconds, then fwapped him upside the head. "Usuratonkachi…" he mumbled, looking away to hide a smile.

Naruto was too happy to care about the unnecessarily hard smack. He happened to like the newest addition to their ritual. And even though it had been the unlikely chance that Sasuke was the first to give his thanks and recognize something important, maybe next time, he'd muster up the nerve to do the same. And maybe, just maybe, someday they will have said enough of what had been left hanging in the air between them that they would no longer need neither thanks nor apologies and they'd come up with a whole new ritual of their own.

Ohayo/ good morning, Ch'kuso/ dammit, Aah/ yeah, Ne?/ right?

So… this is the Tide. I am quite proud of it and can quite see all that in my head. But then again I see turbine thruster technology for snails… Go figure… Read and Review pretty please! Make it your New Year Resolution! lol I love you all guys! Have a wonderful wonderful New Year. I hope your wishes come true. Kiss kiss, hugs hugs!!


	10. Tide 5: Embers

**A/N:** Hey you guys! Happy New Year and I hope all is wonderful for you… or turn wonderful this year if the previous has been one you'd rather forget all about. Thank you all… again. I feel the need to thank you guys for reviews and pms because you make this so much fun writing. :-D Yes… yes, I noticed the "thongs" thing. Credit goes to **TWNJ** for bringing it to my attention and to "**?"** for finding it so amusing… Hehehe ) Actually, I thought it was pretty amusing myself, so I let it be. So anyone who was offended by any sort of association of any of the characters with thongs, sorry, but I couldn't help it.

This chapter goes to the Kyuubi and hopefully it will reply to any misgivings about how I intend to deal with that little question mark I left in the previous two chapters as to what is going on. I intended to push it back a bit, but since I'm following through with a chronological sequence, that wouldn't make sense (since I have Tsunade dragging him to the hospital and all… :-P). And it's a _Tid_e– big, BIG _Tide_- again to even out the _Ebbs_. ) Oh and Kyuubi will be female… uh, because that's how I wrote Kyuubi in another fic and it stuck with me. Pure speculation on my part… Oh and a few **SPOILERS** for the Manga here and there.

**Kyuubi's speech,** because it's tradition by now. .

_Inside Naruto's mind,_ except for the italics meant to stress words… which is a **lot**… Kyuubi said that… ::is aware that she is LAME::

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, I just get to borrow and abuse the characters and- apparently- make obscene spelling errors that may disturb the reader. lol

* * *

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 5:_ Embers_

The Kyuubi was a temperamental demon and old age had only made her crankier. And, really, no one ever gave much thought how the hell- no pun intended- it felt to be quite as _mistreated_ as she had been for the last couple of decades. And if _any_ of them thought the Uzumaki boy was a challenge to deal with, they should try having one of _her_ days with him. And lately it's just been worse.

She watched though her container's eyes the Konoha hospital building growing into view. She was _not_ looking forward to this. It insulted something fundamental about her nature to find herself forced to _co-operate_. The word made her shiver down to the bottom of her existence.

"You're late."

This came from the Uchiha brat, who was waiting for her host by the entrance, much to his surprise. Personally she considered the boy terribly predictable, but then again the blonde was rather clueless too- another thing she could add to the really, _really _long list of things that she found irritating. Kyuubi shook her head and lay as comfortably as possible in her cage. This was bound to be a long day.

"What are you doing here, Teme?" Naruto asked almost wearily, drawing a strange glance from Sasuke.

"The Hokage requested my presence." He said after a moment, then added as detached as he could muster. "You look like crap, Dobe."

He smiled a little, already accustomed to the raven's obscene demonstrations of worry. "Screw you, Teme."

The Kyuubi had grown especially tired of that little dance between the two boys- neither saying what they mean, meaning what they say and both speaking in some sort of code almost entirely lost to her. It was next to impossible to hold back the disgruntled growl that made her host physically tense up and the Uchiha's inspective eyes narrow, as they walked up to the Hokage and the bubblegum girl. She should make another list, this one about all the things that were about to hit the fan. She was sure that they would not be evenly distributed.

Now this _Tsunade_ woman was a real character. In her opinion, she presumed to know a lot more about the seal than she really did. Than anyone did, really, other than herself and that cursed Hokage with the bright ideas for containment and a hero two in one with her tails as the gift-wrap bow. And no one had ever really bothered to ask, because it was _far_ easier to assume her intentions. Sure, she had wanted to take over the boy at some point, but that was only natural when two spirits inhabit the same body. One of them is the master and the other the slave- and when one had lived for as long as she had, ruling, it was hard to play _bondmaid_ to anyone; much less a child. An insolent, naïve, dreamy _teenager_ that's _smitten_ and having a shorter temper than herself, if that was even conceivable.

"I told you to be here first thing, Gaki. You're late." Tsunade reprimanded Naruto, her honey-colored eyes showing her concern less callously than the Uchiha's words.

"I'm here _now_, Baa-chan. Lets get this over with." The blonde responded somewhat irritated- at being there, at receiving the same commend twice.

It earned him a growled '_Naruto_' from Sakura, a smack on the head by Sasuke and a hard look by Tsunade. The Kyuubi figured that the account wasn't worth the kid running his smart mouth like that. It might have escalated to another fight between the boys- because the brat _knew_ that the bubblegum girl was anything _but_ pink and potentially terrifying… really, the raven had nothing on her no matter how cool he thought he was- had the Uchiha's attention not been diverted at something over the blonde's shoulder, causing Naruto to follow his hard stare.

Hyuuga Neji was standing there, looking back also _entirely thrilled_ to see the Uchiha, several feet from them. That was a surprise; an unpleasant one at that. She had expected the Uchiha to be there- and somewhat tolerated him, because he was so endlessly amusing to her- but _Baa-chan_ here was pushing it. The Hyuuga boy was a bother to her with his all-seeing freaky eyes and he was too stern and composed to be funny, in her opinion. The Uchiha frowned, apparently sharing some of her discontent for his own reasons. This looked promising.

Naruto smiled and waved. "Neji! What are you doing here?"

"I asked him to be present for your examination." Tsunade explained. "I want his and the Uchiha's view on things."

The Kyuubi rolled her eyes. Was this an Alpha-male gathering or what?

"You should have come to me with this earlier, Gaki." Tsunade said, looking straight ahead. "This level of irresponsibility can be the fall of a Leader… and his village."

With that parting comment, she walked towards Neji, leaving Naruto looking slightly hurt in her wake. It was a surgical blow, true to the Godaime's nature as a medic nin. The blonde had come to a point that he could recognize and accept when someone else was right. Sasuke walked a few steps ahead and paused, waiting for him.

"Come on, Naruto." Sakura said softly, squeezing his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

He was hesitant for a moment, but then he smiled at her, patting her hand, and walked after Tsunade, past his friends, without looking back once. The Kyuubi could honestly say that it was in moments like this that she wondered if perhaps the Yondaime had the right idea- or a definite vision- for his son. She doubted the boy would ever be entirely an adult, but maybe- _maybe_- he could surprise her.

They entered the small room- surprisingly small and somewhat claustrophobic with so many people in it- where Tsunade was waiting with the Hyuuga. The room consisted of four walls and a chair. Tsunade motioned for Naruto to sit on he chair and the complied quietly, rather resigned to the process. Too many people knew now and they all had an opinion. Plus, he was quite rattled himself. He didn't understand what was happening to him or why, he just didn't like how it made him feel. The Kyuubi figured that at least they had their mutual discontent in common.

"Alright, pay attention everyone, because this is important and there's no room for mistakes." The Hokage started. "Naruto, I will perform a type of hypnosis on you to bring the demon out."

"Baa-chan-" the boy started, already nervous at the suggestion. He didn't trust the Kyuubi and he didn't want to relinquish control.

"No 'but's." she cut sternly, then sighed and continued, "Sasuke will use his Sharingan to stay with you, in your mind, while I am questioning the demon. Neji will monitor the Kyuubi's chakra and Sakura will step in my place to provide medical assistance is anything happens to me." She paused for a moment at the way Naruto winced and shifted in the chair. "It is important that we know what is wrong, Naruto. This is the safest way to do it."

It looked like the blonde had something to say, but he stopped himself. Really, whatever objection or doubts he had it would all boil down to what Tsunade had said; this _was_ the safest way to do it. His cobalt eyes moved from Tsunade to Sakura, then Neji and finally rested on Sasuke. He nodded.

The Kyuubi felt something she hadn't felt in a while as the Godaime started to perform the seals for the jutsu. It was something akin to- if not more than- unease. Tsunade muttered something lost to her vessel's ears by that time and flicked his forehead. And just like that, the Kyuubi felt a thrust forward and then fleshy hands gripping at fabric. The boy had clenched his fists instinctively. To grin, unfamiliar on the boy's lips, was all she could do. In queue, the Uchiha's eyes flared red with his Sharingan and the Hyuuga's featured morphed as he activated the Byakugan. It was showtime.

"**So**," she started in a baritone that barely sounded like her host, "**what business do you have with me, **_**Baa-chan**_."

Tsunade's eyes hardened and darted to Neji and Sasuke for a few fleeting seconds before she spoke. "You know well already, Demon. What are you trying to do to Naruto?"

_Inside Naruto's mind, the only sound that echoed was the dripping of wate__r and his own heartbeat. It intensified tenfold the feeling of solitude in that place. Sasuke was supposed to be there, but he wasn't. Had something gone wrong? He wanted to ask someone, but no one would hear him. He turned away from those thoughts that made his heart race and instead focused on his surroundings. And the water. He never quite understood why there would be so much water in that place. _

"_**It's a conduit.**__" The Fox replied to his unspoken thoughts, shifting in her cage. "__**It connects me and you, even through the cage.**__"_

_Naruto looked at the red eyes- behind the bars, behind the seal- and straightened his body. He was done running. It wasn't like him- he was not-_

"_**Sasuke.**__" The Kyuubi provided. "__**He is the one that runs away, not you. Right, boy?**__"_

"_Not this time."_

_Naruto's gaze snapped to the Uchiha now standing beside him. He wasn't looking back at him, but straight at the fox, his katana drawn. _

_The Kyuubi seemed amused. "__**Oh?**__"_

"**I am not doing anything to the brat. It is you who have misjudged everything.**" The foxy grin was accentuated by the prominent canine teeth.

"I want to know if there are _any_ peaks in the Kyuubi's chakra." Tsunade addressed Neji, even as her eyes never wavered from the blonde.

"The Kyuubi chakra remains stable Hokage-sama." Neji supplied easily.

She nodded. "Explain yourself, Demon."

The Kyuubi smirked. "**Why should I bother? You can't remove me from the boy, so what can you threaten me with?**"

Tsunade countered that smirk with her own. "I have read the scrolls left behind by the Yondaime and the Sandaime's notes. I _will_ find a way to improve the seal, I it's the last thing I do."

The Kyuubi laughed. "**That will be the last thing you do. At least for this kid.**"

_It made him feel better to see Sasuke there, even as he had no intention to let him fight his battle. "Now who's late, Teme?"_

_The Uchiha replied with his very eloquent, "Hn."_

_Naruto rolled his eyes, then looked up at the rusty pipes. What was it with the rust? And the water… it was dripping from the pipes- each drop sounding impossibly loud as it fell in the water pooling up to his ankles- and running down the walls. "What's going on out there?"_

"_**Your Hokage is making plans to kill you.**__" _

_Naruto gave a smug grin. "Don't think I'll fall for cheap shots like that one."_

_The Fox took a few steps forward, stepping into the light. "__**She doesn't intend to, but her plan will kill you. I speak the truth, boy.**__"_

_The blonde looked at Sasuke for a reaction, only to find him narrowing his eyes. It made him nervous. "Do you believe any of this, Sasuke?"_

Sasuke looked at the red eyes of the blonde in the chair. "The Kyuubi says your plan will kill Naruto." He said curtly.

The Kyuubi arched a blonde brow at him. "**You don't have to tell on me, Uchiha. I've already told them.**"

Tsunade's jaw set. "Why would a _better_ seal kill Naruto?"

The demon looked at the woman through bored and unamused eyes. "**We were joined by the Yondaime and forced to be as one. The seal keeps me contained, but allows for enough freedom that the brat and I can combine our chakra when the need arises. That was how the seal was set by your Yondaime.**" The Kyuubi studied the expectant, if somewhat unconvinced, faces. "**At your suggestion, the kid has been trying to push me back. That's not how the seal works.**"

"_Sasuke?"_

"_**Our power and spirits have always been intertwined.**__" The Fox continued. "__**You have grown on your own, boy… and grown a distance from me. You claim too much space in our body and make my cage too small. Your Hokage means to make it even smaller, but that can't be. It's not meant or designed to be that way.**__"_

_Naruto frowned. There was no mock in the demon's voice and- surprisingly- no threat either. More disturbing than that for him was Sasuke's silence. This couldn't be right, could it?_

"_**I don't fit in something that small. That disrespectful. My flames will die down… and you will die with them.**__"_

Tsunade seemed doubtful, but the Kyuubi could smell fear. She was becoming gradually convinced that her actions might kill the boy. "Naruto is strong."

"**Oh, I'm not arguing that. It's part of my problem, you see… Jichuuriki are not supposed to live separately from their demon. Not if the demon is extracted, not when shoved aside." **Naruto's dark lips curved into that foreign smile again. "**It's part of the contract. Or did you think such power comes without a price… Baa-chan. The power to protect what's dear… to be the hero of Konoha. The more you try to break the rules the more you hurt him.**"

"_So what is your proposition?"_

_The Kyuubi looked at Sasuke as though she had forgotten he was there. "__**It's not a proposition, brat. It's the only way for your friend to save himself. I have to have my space back.**__"_

_Naruto instinctively moved back as the Sharingan flared__ and span. "Sasuke, what the hell are you doing?"_

"_You mean to kill Naruto over space, Demon?"_

Neji's lavender eyes broke from Naruto to settle on Sasuke, at the sudden feel of mounting chakra. Even as the boy never cursed, he couldn't keep the murmured "Shimata…" from echoing out loud in the room as he jumped in a fluid motion to the Uchiha's position and used Juken to stop his chakra flow, violently disrupting the Sharingan. The raven's eyes turned charcoal immediately and, after a moment of confusion, focused on the Hyuuga in poorly contained fury.

"What happened." Tsunade demanded before the boys could trade pissy remarks. The bad chemistry between them was no secret. "Neji."

"My apologies, Hokage-sama." Neji started respectfully, eyes returning to Naruto's form. The Kyuubi was watching him with a strange fascination. Had he been worried about Naruto or was he just that distrustful of the Uchiha? "There was a spike in Uchiha Sasuke's chakra. I stopped him before the Kyuubi retaliated."

The Godaime's eyes moved to Sasuke. The comment had done little to allay his feisty mood. "Uchiha."

_Sasuke had disappeared right before his eyes. A sense of panic swelled in him as to what had happened to the Uchiha. "What did you do, Old Fox?"_

"_**Old Fox? I'm hurt.**__" She smirked at the kid. "__**I didn't do anything. Your Hyuuga friend stopped him before he did something stupid. Even you could tell, brat.**__"_

_Naruto clenched his fists. Yes, he was pretty sure that Sasuke had been about to get them into trouble. _

"_**It's best this way. Now we can talk.**__"_

_The blonde met the red eyes unphased. __Perhaps that's what he should have done from the start instead of dragging everyone into this charade. "So talk."_

The Kyuubi watched the Uchiha as Tsunade waited for his response. The dark boy obviously didn't want to discuss this _now_- not when Naruto was still alone with the demon and discussing how him being strong was suicide. The Fox thought it was amusing- and counterproductive- that in his zeal to return the favour and protect his friend, he was missing the big picture. She didn't want the boy to get hurt, if not for anything else, for the simple reason that his death would mean her death too.

"What did you try to do, Uchiha?"

The pure mistrust in the Hokage's voice was maddening to the boy. The Kyuubi no longer had such emotions- barely reacted to anything that had to do with mortal perception. In fact, she would not be having this discussion with all the children around her, if it was not imperative to her survival. But the Uchiha was impulsive and emotionally involved in this. Emotionally invested on her vessel. And afraid.

"Sasuke-kun…" this came from Sakura who inched closer to the boy uncertainly. Unfortunately, she would never have on the raven the potent effect she had on Naruto. And most days that was okay.

But now the Uchiha was torn in two. His mouth was insisting that he let that verbal venom fly. His innate sense of prudence was begging, on bended knee, that he thought about the consequences. Fortunately, there was a happy medium.

"Stay out of this, Sakura."

Unfortunately, he would not find it today. The girl receded to her original position by the door and instead looked at her mentor pleadingly. Like Kyuubi, Sakura could tell this was a rather dangerous moment and, though she shared Sasuke's worry, she knew that going head to head with the Godaime about Naruto was not in the Uchiha's best interest. So she sought understanding from her mentor, and might have received it too, if not for Sasuke's indisputable talent to make a mess.

"Respectfully, _Hokage-sama_, this is something that we can discuss when you are not endangering Naruto's life by keeping me here."

The room went still and something in the air crackled with the building tension. Tsunade viewed the blonde like a little brother, or the son she would never have even. For the Uchiha to dare make such a claim, no matter what sort of pure concern or whatever else propelled his mouth, it was going way past the line. The Godaime seemed to have momentarily forgotten about the matter at hand and ready to beat Sasuke to a bloody pulp when Naruto spoke up.

"That's enough, you guys."

And it was Naruto, not the demon, speaking now. Tension drained from everyone's features as their attention focused on the blonde.

Tsunade breathed a sigh of relief. She might have been angered by Sasuke's words, but part of her had feared that he was right. "Are you alright, Gaki?"

He nodded, unusually sober. "The Kyuubi and I had a talk."

The Godaime paused, her eyes drifting to the Uchiha again. Even as she could relate to his worry, those kind of outbursts were unacceptable. "Neji, is Naruto's chakra stable?"

The Hyuuga blinked, as if suddenly forced out of deep thought. His Byakugan eyes inspected Naruto's chakra for a moment. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Then I want you and Sasuke to wait outside." She ordered. As expected, she got a reaction from both boys. Neji frowned slightly. Sasuke frowned a lot, glare blazing and lips thinning. "You can talk to Naruto after Sakura and I are done checking up on him."

Naruto smiled slightly at his friends. "It's okay… I'll be out in a few."

Neji gave a small, respectful bow and complied. Sasuke took a moment to assess the blonde then shared a look with Sakura, who nodded back. He gave a forced bow and exited the room after Neji.

"That was uncalled for, Baa-chan." Naruto said, after the door was closed.

"That's for me to decide and you to disagree, Gaki." Tsunade waved off the comment. "Sakura, I want you perform the examination while I wrap this up."

"Hai." The girl said and stepped to Naruto's side.

"Now. What did the demon tell you?" she asked picking up her notepad.

Naruto took a deep breath recounting his chat with the Kyuubi. "I will have to do some training in order to use the Kyuubi's chakra. That's what Ero-sennin had tried to teach me… how to use it, not how to suppress it." he paused a moment, reminiscing about his mentor's lessons before the chuunin exams and those three long years. "The Kyuubi promised not to try to take over my body until I was done with my training. Then we'll have a fair fight about who serves who."

Tsunade had been keeping notes until then, but she put her pencil down after that last comment. "Did you take the stupid pill with your breakfast?"

He rolled his eyes. "The Kyuubi will try to be my master. It's nothing personal…" Naruto felt Sakura tense up beside him as she continued to examine him, running a chakra coated hand over his form. "Gaara had to deal with it… he worked with his demon's chakra and he mastered Ichibi. He used that power to protect Suna."

"How do you know that the Kyuubu is sincere?" Tsunade challenged.

The boy took a moment to consider his reply. "The Kyuubi is a part of me… I need to figure out how to use it, but I can't shrug it aside. I _am _a Jinchuuriki… no matter how much I try to act otherwise, my responsibilities are different from the other ninja's of Konoha. No matter what I do, this village will always remember it too."

"Naruto…" Sakura started as she finished her with her task and nodded at her mentor. "… there are always people who will be unfair, but you have most anyone's respect now."

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, but I want _everyone's _respect." He rose from the chair. "And I will have it. As Hokage I will show them that what once almost destroyed this village, is now a force that protects it."

Tsunade smiled. That determination and unwavering faith was purely Naruto.

Deep in Naruto's mind, the Fox stretched and settled in her cage, tails curling comfortably around her. Maybe the boy was not as unreasonable as she had thought. Or maybe it was the Kazekage's example that was making him willing to listen to her, but she hated to think she owed Shukaku. She was far too old and far beyond the human measurement and understanding to grasp the workings of such a young mind. There was something about him though- and she would rather perish than admit it out loud. The little blonde loudmouth had this uncanny ability that she had never come across before; the ability to light the most beautiful fires at the embers that most anyone else sought to shove aside and throw out the door.

He had done it for his human friends and enemies indiscriminately and honestly, with a sense of abandon that she had not thought mortals were capable of. And he had done so for her, even though she really would have rather he had not. The Kyuubi didn't like this newly found sense of mercy she was experiencing. Being _furry_ did not in _any _case entail being _fuzzy_.Back in the days, she would have plotted and tripped the boy every turn, yet now she was honestly willing to give him a chance. What was becoming of her?

The Kyuubi scoffed at her own thoughts. Maybe she'd rather turn to cinders than turn mellow, but for now the fires in the embers burnt warmer than her coldest thoughts.

As the Fox buried her nose in her fur, she figured that maybe it wasn't all bad that things could be good for both of them.

* * *

So that the coughmonstercough chapter 10. I hope I didn't confuse everyone with the switch between the outside and Naruto's mind. This all came to me after Yamato's advice/ urge in the manga- won't spoil for those who don't read it… should come up soon in the anime. I think that Naruto is damn strong even without the Kyuubi… I just don't think he can part from the demon either.

I know that Neji's part was minor, but, one, I thought that it'd make sense to be there and, two, I needed a bridge for the next chapter, which will be an Ebb, Neji's pov… Mostly Neji/ Sasuke interaction so expect the pissy, prissy and low blows. :-D

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hugs and love to you all!

Ja!

M.

PS. Oh, vocabulary! _Shimata_/ shit, damn, fuck _Jinchuuriki_/ a term used for demon vessels/ containers


	11. Ebb 6: Shikata na gai

**A/N:** My notes have been ridiculously long so I decided to cut back a bit. I'm sure I have your blessings in this decision. ;-) Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing, pming and for being patient with me. I love you all! Sorry for the delay, but I was taking care of a sick friend, 'ttebayo. ;-) My thanks to the anon readers go here: **Kakashi's Dog**, **"?"** [LOL! That thong stayed with you! ;-), **Toi&Moi** and my newest one, **Kitty**[you hit the bulls eye with your comment, when it came to certain misgivings I had about the chapter. You even used the terms I employed in a couple of pms! LOL Mindreader!;-)… I really wish I could pm you guys, I really appreciate your words and input. .

This one is for Neji and Sasuke who got off on the wrong foot… and kinda stayed on the wrong foot. lol

_**Shikata ga nai**_ is a Japanese phrase that means "it can't be helped", "nothing can be done about it", and used particularly when the circumstances are beyond one's control.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own… Hn. ;-)

* * *

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 6:_ Shikata Ga Nai_

Fatalism was not just a philosophy. It was a habit hard to break, because it was so soothing in a very bleak fashion. It assured the individual that everything was predetermined and stripped them of any responsibility for the way their life turned out and- really now- lessened the stress of where it was going and how it would end. It ended the strife to change anything. Being a ninja meant that one's life was on the line every moment of every day, so why try so hard to prove that the individual could make a difference? Wasn't it more fitting to trust that their blood would grease the cogs of Fate?

Hyuuga Neji smirked to himself at how those thoughts, that he had once sworn by, seemed like a distant dream. It wasn't Fate. Some things in life just couldn't be helped.

"Something funny, Hyuuga?"

Neji looked up at the man who had been buzzing around the door for the past ten minutes. Uchiha Sasuke was not a very patient person and his irritable state made him near impossible. Neji had never been a man of many words. Depending on the company, he could become even stingier. And such was the case presently, as he was forced to wait for Naruto in the company of the Uchiha, who was presently pining for a distraction. Presumably, the last Uchiha was Naruto's best friend, but he never quite got the relation or common ground the two shared. Gai-sensei might have said that Naruto's _youthful_ spirit had broken through into the Uchiha's cold heart. Neji would not roll his eyes _only_ because it was disrespectful to do anything of the sort to your teacher, even if he did things so lame at times that either embarrassed you or scarred you for life.

"Nothing at all." He responded, keeping his place against the wall and closing his eyes in patient wait. He would have loved to have said "_you_", but he tried to be the adult. Some things in life could not be helped, but his reaction to them was a matter of choice. Gai-sensei and his father should be proud.

Sasuke studied him for a moment, then looked back at the door. He frowned, agitated.

He preferred to use more generic terms when he made his assumptions or observations about the Uchiha, so he avoided words like _worried_. He was not about to easily proffer a word that the raven had tried so hard to disassociate himself with. He had to admit though that he was fairly certain that there were expecting fathers outside delivery rooms that dealt better with the waiting than the Uchiha did.

Said Uchiha resumed his pacing with a mumbled, barely intelligible, "What's taking them so long?"

Pale, lavender eyes settled on the boy, pacing the small space from the door to the wall in incessant circles, like a caged animal about to bite the bars of its cage. Unbidden, the thought brought the Kyuubi to mind. The seal in Naruto's stomach had seemed rather sound and what the demon had suggested made sense, if one chose to believe it was true. Neji had his own seal, on his forehead, forever marking him as a caged bird; but he had managed to spread his wings and soar high, gain the recognition of the Hyuuga family and make peace with his father's death and his inner demons. Uchiha Sasuke had a seal too; one that a growing amount of people blamed for his treason. Neji begged to differ.

"Can you please stop pacing?" he proffered it as a request, but really, if not for his civil nature he would have used profanity and made it a demand.

To his surprise the Uchiha did stop, a slightly stunned look on his face as if he had only then realized what he was doing all this time. After a moment, he leaned on the wall across from Neji, those charcoal eyes focusing on the door instead of darting all over the place. Neji was sure that, had there been a way to use _Katon_ with his gaze, Sasuke's eyes would be shooting fireballs at the door.

"Did Naruto have problems with the Kyuubi the last few years?"

The unexpected question surprised him even more than the Uchiha's choice to _acquiesce_ to his request. His upbringing had cultivated good manners that he found impossible to ignore. "The Kyuubi has always been a source of trouble for Naruto."

However, he did not feel obliged to be friendly. The clash between the two had happened in their first meeting, before the Chuunin exams, and they never had the chance to clean up the slate and start over. And now, things were complicated. He had felt he understood the Uchiha, because he knew what it had been like to be lost in the dark. What he never got was how it was possible for the Uchiha to develop immunity to Naruto's uncanny ability to touch and change people to their core. Naruto had once confided in him that Jiraya-sama had said that, with the curse seal corrupting his thoughts, Sasuke would lose himself in the end; it was a fact and nothing could be done about it. The blonde had looked troubled for a long while as they had sat in silence- because Neji agreed with Jiraya-sama, but didn't want to hurt his friend- before his grin found the way to his lips again and he added that if _anyone_ could resist the seal it was _Sasuke-teme_. The only thing that couldn't be helped when it came to Uzumaki Naruto, was his attachment to the Uchiha.

Sasuke frowned slightly, covering some of his annoyance. "That's not an answer."

"If it's answers you want, Uchiha-san, I would suggest you discuss your concerns with Naruto." He sounded quite patronizing, but he didn't mind. Until now he had not found one good reason why the Uchiha was deserving of Konoha's forgiveness and Naruto's affection. "You are _supposed _to be his best friend, right?"

"It's more than fine if you don't want to answer the question, Hyuuga-_san_."The delicate brows drew closer together and Neji was sure there was a not-too-subtle warning as he met those bottomless charcoal eyes. "I would _suggest_, however, that you keep your opinions to yourself about Naruto and I."

This was a bad time for an argument, but the Uchiha tended to be slippery and very much aloof other than rare moments like these and Neji decided that maybe getting through to the Uchiha's thick skull was worth the aggravation. "Perhaps if you sought advice more often, things would not be like this right now."

Those dark eyes narrowed at him and Neji could have sworn he saw a tint of red there. "Watch your words, Hyuuga."

"Watch _yourself_." He punned back, pushing away from the wall for a more offensive stance. "You weren't here to see what Naruto went through for your sake. How much it cost him to get strong enough."

"Again, that is between Naruto and I-"

"No!" Neji snapped, his voice gaining volume momentarily, surprising them both. He closed his pale eyes for a moment collecting himself. "No. This is between you and Naruto's friends that had to watch him suffer in your name." Pale eyes met dark again. "He didn't deserve that."

A shadow of an emotion that could be guilt touched his features for a moment. Then the Uchiha straightened his body, his trademark smirk finding its way to his face. An admirable trait of his was getting himseld out of the corner. "So you took it upon yourself to _punish _me for my crimes?"

Neji could admit that, in spite of his mild nature, he would easily punch that smirk off the raven's face. The way he saw it, he only had two options, and didn't kid himself into thinking otherwise. He could either rise to the occasion or he could give up and move on. Simple enough, right? Ri-ight. "We took it upon ourselves to _protect_ Naruto _from you_, if necessary. And despite his efforts to convince us otherwise, it seems necessary."

A moment of silence stretched between them and Neji found that he could not grasp what was going through the Uchiha's mind. He was not arguing back per se, but his featured maintained his smyugness perfectly. He wondered how Naruto could be so certain of someone so ambiguous. The raven had reached up, hand tracing the curse seal. Neji could not fathom what that could mean. Was he thinking of what the seal had cost him or maybe itching to unleash its power on him?

"Do not presume to understand Naruto, Hyuuga." he said, almost reprimanding Neji for his concern. "And do not underestimate him. If it came down to a fight, he'd be the only one that would stand a chance at beating me… And the only one I'd want to spar and surrender my final obsession." He looked up at the sky again and noted Shikamaru and Temari sitting side by side quietly enjoying the view. "I hate to lose. Of all the powerful people I met, it's be Naruto's sword I'd rather be killed from if I must."

Neji sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, which was very close to his own seal- a seal that was meant to restrict and teach him respect, as much as Sasuke's seal was meant to unfetter- or was it _unravel_- him and fill him with insolence. He had just about had it with the supposed virtue of allowing each other to speak their minds- it was a fiasco at this point. Now he was thinking that a touch of reticence might be nice. That was after all what they were both better at.

"It is what it is. Naruto has friends that care about him, now… and that don't care for your choices." Neji tried to find a part of him that could sympathize with the Uchiha for all his suffering, all these years, and believe in Naruto's assurances, that he _was_, in fact, worth it. "I do not mean to insult you, Uchiha-san, when I say what I do." He started again, forcing his patience back to his demeanour.

Sasuke held his gaze for a moment then bound out of his position on the wall to walk to the Hyuuga. "Neither do I, Hyuuga, when I say stay out of this."

What was supposed to be a peace offering, had hit a very wrong turn and was suddenly one of those pissy, immature, staring-down competitions that could have gone on forever, if not for an interruption. Welcome or not.

"Sasuke-kun, are you overcompensating again?" Sai's voice was flat and serious as ever.

The smile that accompanied that opening verbal salvo was enough to turn off the heat of any impending argument. It wasn't that the smile was kind and warmed their hearts or something cliché like that. Both protégés would have to admit that Sai could unnerve them with the promise of innuendos that defied any sense of propriety their rich and respectable families had passed on to them. Neji had to- reluctantly- concede to the fact, in that respect, they shared the common curse of a great Konoha family heritage. That heritage was a herald of assumptions about both families.

For example, many thought that, because of their subtle manners and meek nature, the Hyuuga were incapable of slapstick. And, actually, that was not too far from the truth, because the _acceptable_ forms of humour were mostly witticisms. The structure of the family was very strict and training left little time for fun and laughs. But Neji had found that exceptions could be made depending on circumstances such as intoxication- he had been blown away by how talkative Hinata-sama could actually be and how easily she could impersonate himself and her father- and boredom. Boredome had been his currency for humor at times. Once, that he had an excess amount of time to think during a rare D-rank mission, Neji had made a mental list of names that Byakugan would be a _bad_ idea to have. Names like _Jiaraya-sama_, _Kakashi-sensei_, _Anko-san_, _Naruto_ sported high on his list. Though it had been amusing to come up with and even share, it was entertaining because it was true, for the most part. And yet, somehow, Sai's name seemed to potentially rank above the afore mentioned. And he didn't even know him all that well. He wondered if anyone did.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Sasuke's tactic to switch from defence to offence usually paid off beautifully.

Sai arched a brow, smile replaced by wonder, although no more convincing. "Why of course I'd come here for Naruto-kun. But if I had known you two would also be here I would have come earlier." He said innocently, then smiled again. "Have you decided whose penis is bigger yet or did I come just in time? No pun."

Neji's strange eyes almost fell out of their sockets and he could swear that the Uchiha looked amused. There was just no such thing as enough of a _warning_ about Sai.

Kami was feeling merciful today, though, because Sakura chose that moment to step out of the room, instantly capturing everyone's attention. And that was not to say he had moved from fatalism to religious predestination, believing that everything was preordained by a _God_. Actually it was _because_ he acknowledged that the individual could make all the difference, that when said individual was Sai, he would accept help wherever he could find it. The pale boy- and before he met him he had thought Sasuke was pale, but not anymore- was unpredictable and unreadable. Byakugan and Sharingan together could not see through him.

The pink haired girl looked up at the three boys standing outside the room and though her expression didn't particularly change, there was a different emotion for each of them in her emerald eyes. "Naruto will be out in a few minutes." She said simply, eyes lingering on Sasuke just a bit longer.

"Is he okay?" the asked, his voice slipping from the usual monotone to something somewhat anxious and gentle almost.

"Naruto is fine." Sakura assured him with a smile and, with the same smile, she continued. "If you want to be able to say the same for yourself, though, _Sasuke-kun_, the next time, you _will_ watch your tone with me."

Sasuke arched a brow at the girl's words, taken aback. Then- unexpectedly- he smiled softly. "Hn."

Neji was honestly surprised too. He had never thought that Sakura was capable of threatening her _precious_ Sasuke, even though he had been quite crude to her back in the room. It was no secret that Lee had been pining for her for years, but he didn't believe that Sakura would ever have eyes for anyone other than the raven. And Lee was his friend- by far the most decent person he had ever met. And though he often didn't look it, he was very protective of his own. Ten-Ten knew him better than anyone and maybe Hinata-sama suspected it- that girl seemed to have an eerie insight to people's hearts- but for the most part people accepted him as politely distant. Lee loved him in spite of it; Naruto ignored that trait of his entirely.

He wondered if perhaps Sasuke was like him, in that he was also someone that one had to know well enough to translate his words and reactions. Back when he had first met the Uchiha, he hadn't had the chance to watch him interact with the rest of Team 7. He had seemed like the natural leader- powerful, talented and intelligent- the one worth challenging, second perhaps only to Gaara himself. Maybe it hadn't been his impressive skills so much as the promise of going up against Konoha's last Sharingan user to prove his worth to his family. Things had changed for him after the chuunin exams and the seal on his forehead no longer meant what he thought it did.

"It appears we have a winner…" Sai said with a smile at Sakura.

Sakura and Neji frowned at him- the girl suspecting that whatever it was that Sai was referring to was perverted and the Hyuuga knowing _exactly_ what that was. The Uchiha's smirk widened just a little, apparently agreeing with Sai's assessment about who's _bigger_. And though Neji had heard Naruto say that Sakura had nerves and balls of steel, he much doubted she would accept Sai's little addition on the same note, thus completing the set of male genitals. It was figurative, but still very wrong.

The door opened again, this time letting out a blonde that looked rather tired and distracted. The conversations paused and he suddenly found himself subject to the scrutinizing gaze of four pairs of eyes. He looked back a bit uncertainly. "What's up guys?"

Sai walked over to him and draped an arm around his shoulder. Naruto looked at it like it was the weirdest thing. Sai was not much for human contact. "We were waiting for you, Naruto-kun."

"Uh… Thanks." He said, somewhat awkwardly patting Sai's hand and then moving away.

Neji tilted his head slightly at Sai, whose face was not entirely unreadable for once. There was a hint of hurt in his eyes as Naruto moved away, but just as it overcast his features, it was then gone like a passing cloud. The transition was so fast that Neji had to wonder if he even really saw it or if it was even a genuine emotion. He shook those thoughts off and instead focused on his friend. "So what now?"

Naruto seemed a little put off by the question. No doubt his conversation with the Godaime had been a long one. "I have to go through training with Kakashi and you- you'll hear all about it. I'll just get super strong and kick the stupid fox into submission."

Sakura didn't bother saying anything. She just punched him.

Naruto yelped in pain. "Sakura-chaaan" he whined dramatically "what the hell was that foooor?"

"You _idiot_." Sakura waved her fist threateningly causing Naruto to cower behind the person standing closest to him, which happened to be Sai. "And if you think hiding behind _another_ idiot is gonna save you, think again. I already owe him."

The blonde hid himself behind his current mission partner. "What did you do this time, pervert?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"Probably enough to warrant me a punch." Sai said smiling. "But as it is, I don't intend to receive one for a dickless coward like you."

Neji's jaw dropped. He turned to Sasuke who looked thoroughly unimpressed as if having witnessed this too many times. He waited quietly, which was, well… surprising given his previous impatience. He wondered if perhaps the Uchiha did not want Naruto to see him like that.

"You bastard!" he yelled, but before he launched at Sai, Sakura caught him. "Oh, come _on_, Sakura-chan! What did _I_ do?"

"You had us all worrying sick. Don't act so cool." She admonished, but her eyes had softened.

And if Naruto had been wiser or more mature he'd have known that he had won that one and shut the hell up. But as it were, he fell into familiar patterns around the pink haired girl. "Hear that, Sasuke-teme? Sakura-chan thinks I'm cool!"

Another punch, courtesy of Sakura. "I'm going to go back into the room and discuss your case with Tsunade-sama and maybe the possibility of a _brain transplant_ too."

The boys made room for her, waiting for the door to close behind her before turning to Naruto who was rubbing his jaw. Neji wondered if Naruto was some sort of ultimate masochist choosing to pine after Sakura- who covered physical abuse- and commit so absolutely to his bond with Sasuke- who had fucked him up emotionally and mentally in any way that was in the book and a few innovate ones. And then there was Sai, serving as his current partner in missions. Neji frowned wondering if the Sandaime and Godaime were in their right minds or sick people versed to hoaxes. No one in Konoha would be the poster boy/girl for pristine mental health, but this was a bit much..

"Damn…" Naruto muttered trying to reset his jaw. "Her punches keep getting harder and harder… _gotta_ have a talk with Baa-chan about this…"

"Usuratonkachi…" Sasuke sighed and offered a hand to help him up.

The blond took the offered hand with a smile- not his usual grin- that tagged the on the Uchiha's lips and something just clicked. It was a shift that Neji could not articulate adequately, much like the smell of rain in the air- something one can't quite put their finger on how they actually recognize it, but they're sure it's there.

The spell of the moment was broken by Naruto's stomach protesting. "Heheh… I'm hungry, I guess."

"You didn't eat?" Sasuke asked with a frown.

"No, I was nervous about this whole thing…" he turned to Neji and Sai. "You guys coming?"

Neji smiled at his friend. "I will probably be summoned by Tsunade-sama shortly… I'll wait."

Naruto made a disappointed face. "Well, we'll be at Ichiraku's if you want to come over. Sai?"

The pale boy was still smiling. "No thank you. Every couple needs their alone time and public displays of affection make me sick."

Maybe this would have turned into another fight, had Naruto's stomach not growled again, so loud, it almost sounded like the Kyuubi was roaring.

Sasuke pulled him behind him. "You'll get yourself sick, Dobe."

Neji watched them walk away. It was a strange sight for him, because he hadn't really seen much of Naruto in a while. Lee had told him about how _youthful_ Naruto's reunion with Sasuke had made him, but he had thought that his excitable friend was exaggerating. He realized that he was not. Over the years of try and failure to locate and bring his best friend back, Naruto had not just grown up, he had grown older. And now, Neji could see glimpses of the loud, lively blonde that had given him the reality check he had so desperately needed at the time.

"They make a fine couple, don't they?"

Lavender eyes moved to the boy beside him, this time neither widening in shock nor narrowing in confusion. He thought that perhaps he understood Sai a little bit. "They make a good team. I hear that so do you and Naruto."

Sai's dark eyes met his for a short moment. He was about to say something when Sakura stuck her head out to summon Neji back inside.

"Neji-kun, Tsunade-sama wants to have a word with you." She said respectfully, no trace of her previous tantrum evident in anything about her.

"Hai." He nodded. He gave a small bow to Sai in ways of bidding him goodbye, earning an arched brow from the boy, who all the same mirrored him. "Good luck on your mission, Sai-kun."

"I hope you survive the boredom in that room." Sai said with a smile and started his way out of the hospital. If it's too boring call Sakura a slut, easy girl- such thing. Everything will be interesting then. Ja."

Neji suspected that Sai had actually been nice to him- in his very own way that is. As he made his way back to the small room, he considered that some things could not be helped in spite of the beauty of free will. Some things simply _were_, not because of fatalism or amor fati, but because free will also meant that you chose what you did not want to escape from or leave behind. Team 7 was like that. To his surprise, Sai seemed to be the same, but only now discovering what he wanted to hold on to.

He smiled to himself, thinking that of all the things that nothing could be done but accept, personal growth was the one no one should try to resist. It could not be helped that some would get lost on the way and a lot of them would have to face tragedy, because they had opted the hard life of a ninja- with all its costs and merits. What he had once called Fate he now considered Choice and recognised that some choices could bind people in life, death and beyond.

_Shikata ga nai_, he thought to himself and the rest of the world, making his peace with choices he had made and choices yet to be made.

Carefully, he closed the door behind him.

* * *

This is Chapter 11. I hope you guys liked it. That Neji was hard to write… not so much because he's hard to grasp as much as because I- as I realized- I hadn't taken the time to really explore him and in "character" chapter it comes back to haunt you. I hope I stayed in character. As to Sai, he's making appearances because, one, he's FUN to write and when it comes to character evolution I don't see him just having an epiphany and acting on it. He takes time to think and experiment. Again, that's my take on him.

On a side note I'd like to say that even as the perspective changes there are some ideas that remain the same. Two examples are that Naruto's friends, tho they did everything to help with his quest to bring Sasuke back, don't quite get his attachment to him… and with good reason. Sasuke has made choices that should have broken their bond a loooooooooooong time ago. Another thing is my firm belief that Lee is as decent and honourable as they get. Tho he's not the kind of character I instantly fell for, he has really grown on me… And his scenes with Gai? Classic.

Okay… enough yapping on my part. Next Chapter picks up where this leaves off so it's Sasuke and Naruto mostly. I want to make Shikamaru or Temari the one after that… I'll try to update soon.

Kisses and huggies to all! Ja!

M.


	12. Tide 6: Usuratonkachi

**A/N:** As always the chapter starts with my love to all those who read my story. ) Extra huggies and kisses to those who take the time to review pm back and forth with me[your feedback has helped tons. ) and those of you who added me to a fav list. Special muahs to **TWNJ** for all her precious help and the beautiful art. My many thanks to my anon reviewers, **"?"** [dammit, I never see those typos.. lol … we can just say that the characters used an accent, ne? A very _exotic _one. ;-) and **insomniac** [thank you SO much for the kind words and sharing your thoughts… I appreciate them more than I can convey.… as always I wish I could pm you because my replies here are SO lacking…

_Usuratonkachi_ means 'clumsy idiot'… And unless the term is addressed to Naruto[in which case it's a pet name I will be using the translated form. )

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, merely abuse and mistype about underwear and in otherwordly accents. ;-)

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 6:_ Usuratonkachi_

Sasuke would never admit it out loud, but he knew that Naruto would be a Hokage like no other before him. And it wasn't that he didn't want to tell the blonde- he honestly did- he just wasn't good with words that way. He was usually nonchalant- nonchalant, not _cold_ like he was often accused of being- and _could_ be suave and charming, if he wanted to. He could piss people off like nobody's business, he could be more diplomatic than Neji and more cryptic than Kakashi. But comfort? Praise? He was a clumsy idiot at that.

"You're staring."

Sasuke blinked at the statement, refocusing his attention. An almost blinding grin was right in his face. He twitched and gave Naruto's forehead a flick, which was enough to make the blonde lose balance and land clumsily back on his chair, beside him. "Usuratonkachi", he mumbled pondering the irony, "what sort of ninja are you?"

"The _not-a-complete-bastard_ sort, Teme!" Naruto stuck his tongue out at him. Points for his maturity. "What was that for anyway? One moment we're talking, the next you are staring at me, spacing out. You were probably thinking that the existence of cats pisses you off or something. Prick."

The raven arched a brow. Even after all these years, he could not get over how random Naruto could be. "Cats?" he asked. He couldn't help it.

"Yes, cats." The blonde waved his chopsticks idly, over his unfinished food. Sasuke noticed that he was not as fast with rice as he was with ramen. "Cats are not docile or obedient. They don't give a freaky damn about your _Uchiha_ glares."

He arched both brows for a moment before returning to his cooling rice bowl. True to his promise-and after some goading- Naruto had brought them to a place other than Ichiraku's for lunch. Sasuke had not thanked him yet, which the blonde had not failed to point out within the first five minutes of being there. "I don't expect people to be docile or obedient, Dobe."

"Huh!" Naruto pointed the chopsticks at him, rice dripping from his intended bite. "Your mouth says _no_ but your glares tell another story."

Sasuke glared.

"See what I mean?" the blonde stuffed his mouth. "You expected me to be docile. Fat chance of that."

"I don't expect you to be anything less than a Dobe, _Dobe_." He smirked. He personally thought that Naruto was more untamable than any cat could be and quite likely to tame the people around him, whether they wanted to or not. So the blonde was, in fact, projecting his own traits. Not that he wanted to make people obey him per se, but he did have a way to mellow them. Sasuke could see it in himself as well. He found that he could smile a little easier around Naruto, relax a bit more; almost forget about probations and limitations; almost feel happy to be alive and in Konoha.

"Teme, what's with you today?" Naruto asked with the barest hint of concern in his indignant tone. "You spaced out again."

Sasuke blinked a couple of times again. It was true that his mind was wandering a lot. "Were you saying anything of consequence?" he taunted.

The reply was a huff, but relief washed over the worry in the cobalt eyes at the familiar tone. "I _said_ that when I'm Hokage I won't allow you to call me _Dobe_." He paused a moment, then a sly grin spread on his lips. "In fact, there will be _severe_ punishment if you do."

"Oh?" the raven set his chopsticks by his plate and interlaced his fingers in his signature contemplative pose. "Like what?"

Naruto paused a moment, regarding him somewhat apprehensively. He was all too familiar with those verbal traps Sasuke often set for him. "I'll come up with something…"

Sasuke smirked. This was too easy. "And will you _personally_ see to the punishment?"

"… Maybe." The blonde tried- and failed- to sound cool. Cool and blushing didn't mingle well.

He found the reaction thoroughly amusing. It became even more amusing as Naruto squirmed under his intense stare. "Can I choose?"

"S-shut up, Teme. I'm serious." Now it was just an angry red blush, nothing cool about it.

Finally, Sasuke released him of his gaze. In all honesty, he hadn't quite figured out why he enjoyed getting the blonde riled up and beet-red, but the sight satisfied him immensely. It was fortunate that Naruto had not come up with counter-measures. Yet. He cleared his throat. "I won't call you Dobe in front of _others_." He said solemnly, averting his eyes to a vague spot over to his side, a pink hue dusting his own cheeks. Where Naruto was failing to make him blush, he did a great job himself. "But not until you _are_ Hokage."

A moment of tentative silence ensued that forced Sasuke to look back at the blonde in confusion. Said blonde's head was lowered, golden bangs hiding his eyes, but his lips were set in a thin line. The raven knew that expression. It was usually the cloud that preceded an emotional storm. He had seen Naruto like that before many of those moments that had earned him the title _number one ninja in surprising people_.

"Dobe?" he started carefully. Had he really messed up that royally in his attempt to impart his faith in that childhood- childhood, not _childish,_ as he had once called it- dream? It was a confession, after a fashion, that he _did_ believe that Naruto would be the next Hokage, but then he was not good with confessions either. He wondered if the list he should be making should be what he _was_ good at. He felt fairly certain that it would be a lot shorter.

Suddenly, Naruto rose from his chair and Sasuke stood with him to block his way, believing he was about to leave. He had half-formulated his intended question in his mind, when Naruto grabbed his arm and pulled him into a tight hug. He blinked, astonished at the contact, and became very aware of stray glances darting their way that slowly turned into downright ogling. Physical intimacy was another thing- in the long, _long_ list of things, apparently- that he was not good at. Several things hit him at once; he didn't know what to do with his hands, Naruto wasn't letting go until he was hugged back and, most surprisingly, he had craved for a hug. It was embarrassing and damn near mind-blowing to admit to himself how good it felt to be held and how long it had been since he had given up on the notion of anyone _daring_ to hold him.

He wondered if perhaps the blonde could see through him, because his embrace became firmer, pulling Sasuke tightly against his body. And, very nervously at first, the raven hugged him back. He sent one of his trademark _Uchiha_ _glares_ to those staring and was pleased to find them looking away. Apparently, there were no _cats_ in that restaurant. He smirked and relaxed to the contact, his own hands folding around Naruto, hugging him back.

"Thank you, Sasuke." He whispered, his voice cracking a bit, and buried his face- that felt suspiciously moist- into the raven's neck.

Sasuke smiled, very softly, and patted the blonde's back, very awkwardly. "You will always _be_ a Dobe though."

"Whatever…" Naruto's voice came muffled.

Neither let go for a long moment. The embrace no longer felt unseemly of a ninja and it offered a much needed sense of comfort that they didn't have enough of in their lives. However needed though, it was something new and after the moment ended, the boys were back to being far too self-conscious to hold on. So they broke it off.

"Am I interrupting?"

Both jumped back and whipped around at the familiar voice.

"Yo." Kakashi greeted, already settled on a chair across from them.

"Kakashi." Sasuke greeted back coolly, regaining his composure fast. Spending as much time as he had with the Jounin, he was finding these attempts to startle him rather mundane.

"Kakashi-sensei!" The same could not be said about Naruto, though, as he looked like the proverbial cat that- albeit untamable- had just stepped out of the bag, in spite of his experience in dealing with his ex-teacher. "… Hey."

The Jounin studied the two for a while. "Tsunade-sama has been looking for the two of you. She's pretty annoyed."

Naruto waved the comment off with a dismissing, "Everything bothers Baa-chan her age…"

Kakashi fixed him with a characteristically bored stare. "She didn't dismiss you. In Sasuke's probationary situation, that can bring about _dire_ consequences."

That drew a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression- entirely draining that _untamable cat_ quality- from the blond, that slowly morphed to nervousness as he tried to calculate how serious the Jounin was in what he was implying. He looked serious enough.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and set a hand on Naruto's shoulder, squeezing slightly. "But that's not the case this time." He deadpanned, meeting Kakashi's stare pointedly.

After a moment of non-expression, he smiled at his ex-students. "It's not the case this time." He stood and faced Naruto. "But Tsunade-sama wants you off to Suna with Sikamaru. Apparently the Kazekage possesses scrolls that might help with your predicament and Shikamaru is escorting Temari-san back with Ino and Chouji. It's a fortunate coincidence." Then his visible eye moved to Sasuke. "And you will be escorting me on a D-rank mission, because no-one else is available."

The raven was unsure if he was feeling refreshed or disgusted at the idea of someone with his talents wasted on a D-rank mission. He couldn't find it in him to pity Kakashi as he was more than confident that the older man would get a kick out of the boring-to-tears mission- and ninjas were not people that cried easily- simply watching him seethe and twitch at the, well… boredom. He hated it already, but knew that he shouldn't bother trying to bulldoze, push, prod, manipulate or insist otherwise. The Godaime was probably testing him or punishing him. His distrustful nature suggested the latter.

Naruto put an arm around his shoulders. "Yatta! Your first mission since you came back!"

Charcoal eyes moved to the grinning boy. "Are you up to traveling to Suna so soon after your session?"

The bright expression darkened somewhat. "The sooner I get to it, the better… You know I have to do this."

Sasuke nodded and attempted to smooth the furrow of his brows. He didn't want to seem over-worried, overprotective… over-_anything _really. Not in front of Kakashi and not for Naruto. He knew that the loud-mouth brat could manage himself just fine and pitied the Nara boy. Pitied and _envied_, but he was unwilling to dissect his reaction. It was very obvious to him though that he felt a measure of assurance that his partner was not Sai. Because Sai was _untrustworthy_- that was it. Was he becoming obsessive about Sai? No. Extremely _focused _on helping his friend? Absolutely. There was his reasoning.

"Are you alright, Sasuke?"

For the umpteenth time today, he blinked back into reality. He had to cut back on that particular habit. Kakashi's visible eye was dully studying him, as though the man could read his thoughts and merely asked the question because Naruto was a bit unnerved by the sudden quiet.

"Teme, you need a new hobby. Try watercolours or a dance class, but this prolonged silence deal has to go." The blonde grumbled for his ears alone.

"You really are a Dobe." He smirked, then turned to Kakashi. "When do we have to go?"

"Tomorrow night." He pulled up his _Icha Icha_ book. "So for now you'll have to excuse me. I need to finish the book before then."

Both boys watched their ex-teacher walk away in a mixture of suspicion and blasé disinterest as to what was so fun about that book.

Kakashi paused before exiting the restaurant. "I trust you to escort Sasuke back to the mansion, Naruto… But no kisses on the porch. Ja."

With that he disappeared, leaving them with expressions that encompassed disgust and disbelief in equal amounts. Naruto was the first to speak. "Yeah… we really need to get him off those books."

Sasuke just shook his head, settling back down. He contemplated the contents his plate distastefully. "Food is cold."

Naruto made a face. "I'll never get over how prissy you are, in spite of all your training." He fished his frog wallet from his pocket and picked up the bill. "I got it."

He would have argued, but his assets were not what they used to be. He wondered if he'd get paid for the coming up mission. His guess was no. "You still carry that disgrace of a wallet around."

The blonde scoffed. "I'm a sucker for _firsts_, or haven't you figured it out by now?" he held the money in one hand and put the frog-wallet back into his pocket. "First crush, first bond, first wallet."

Sasuke watched him make his way to the counter. He supposed that the only thing worse than being a clumsy idiot at doing something was being the clumsy idiot who did nothing at all. Because his life had taught him that some things had to be said and some things had to be done, because time was precious, opportunities were rare and one could run out of either anytime. So when Naruto came back, he rose and faced him- straight-faced and cool as ever- and used his opportunity.

"Thanks for dinner, Dobe." He wanted to say _Naruto_, but it would have been too much for him at that point. He was willing to be less of a clumsy idiot, but could only do it in baby-steps for now. He had forgotten how to approach people and, though with his kind of past it was reasonable, it made things very difficult. "It was a nice switch from ramen for a change."

But it was worth it to see those cobalt eyes light up with happiness and warmth. "Now if you hadn't insulted ramen, Teme, that sentence would have been near perfect."

It was Sasuke's turn to scoff, arms folded across his chest, as he started to walk out. "I suggest you take what you can get and be grateful."

Naruto fell in step beside him. "Just for now." He said, then his thoughts changed track to more pressing matters. "Say… I'm still hungry though… How about you?"

Ninjas can read each other's mind when they are as close as they were, but Sasuke suspected that, even if they weren't, it would have been painstakingly obvious where this conversation was going. "Somewhat." He replied, resigning himself to the inevitable.

The blonde rubbed his chin in faked innocence, before snapping his fingers. "What if we went by old man Ichiraku's place? I heard he came up with a new ramen flavor."

He could have done without the theatrics, because, for all his talent as a ninja, Naruto was a terrible actor. _Just as well_, he figured and, with a sigh, he started down the road to the all-too-familiar ramen _joint_. "And where did you hear that?"

"Chouji told me." Naruto said with a happy smile, recognizing the Uchiha's unspoken consent. "It's supposed to be sooooooooooooooooooooo good."

Sasuke sighed a bit more deeply as the blonde chattered about all the _yummy_ things that were supposed to be in this latest to-be-addition to Naruto's already woeful diet and all things ramen. As the tirade went on, he looked up at the sky; storm clouds were gathering and the familiar smell of the approaching downpour promised him an uneasy sleep. Because Sasuke was not a sound sleeper to begin with and- again, it pained him to admit even to himself- the simplest things could revert him back to an 8 year old. He hoped that the spirit world was not privy to the day-to-day handlings of the living, because the way he'd clench his fists on his covers on cold, stormy nights and pull them just a bit higher- under the pretence that it was colder, not _lonelier_, or so he told himself- would have his dad frowning and Itachi laughing. He also had to admit that Kakashi's presence and his long talks- or silences- with him gave him a measure of relief and the feeling of understanding. Because Kakashi _knew_.

"Man! It takes at least 6 days to go to Suna and back… the ramen is horrible there…" Naruto whined dramatically.

The comment brought him out of his reverie, floating the mental boat back to the present. He wasn't quite sure what had crawled on his expression, but he imagined it must have appeared as annoyance that Naruto misunderstood as directed at him. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I've already _agreed_ to go to Ichiraku's, Dobe."

The blonde perked up at this. "Whatever, Teme. You never had to go through ramen withdrawal." He folded his arms behind his head, like he always had and, most likely, always would in hassle-free moments.

Sasuke kept the snappy comeback to himself, only because ramen was a big issue to Naruto. His mom had once told him that restraining himself could be difficult, but it would definitely be easier than the apologies he'd need to make, if he let his mouth fly. And, when it came to the blonde, taunting just came so easy it could be a sin. _Hold your breath, if need be_, he reiterated his mother's words in his mind, wondering if she had someone like Naruto in mind when she had given him that lecture.

As the ramen rant resumed- this time detailing _ramen_ _withdrawal_ and its horrors- he stole a glance at his companion and smiled just a bit. Enough to indulge himself, because he couldn't help it, but also not so much that he couldn't erase at a moment's notice, if Naruto were to notice.

He justly believed it took a unique kind of idiot to feel idiotic about something so simple and gracious as a smile.

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Ta-da! That's chapter 12 for you. :-D I was a bit better with my update and I hope you guys enjoy it. It was really fun writing. I'm not sure if I should press with the shonen-ai stuff more than I have or leave it at that… in part because I am not sure I CAN write it. lol

Next Chapter is an _Ebb_, Shikamaru pov and we're visiting Suna. Kisses, huggies and internet cookies in flavours of your choice!

Ja!

M.


	13. Ebb 7: Shogi and Go

**A/N:**As is the chapter Ritual, I would like to thank you all for reading, thank you guys who have been reviewing and offering me feedback in reviews and pms- you rock my world. ;-) I would again especially like to thank **TWNJ** [Shikamaru is for you, sweetie! for her help and the WONDERFUL art for certain scenes of this fic! And her art in general. :-D You can check out her profile at http:[slash slashtwnj[dotdeviantart[dotcom[slash. My many thanks to anon reviewers: **Kakashi's Dog**, **"?" **[LOL, Thongs! Love right back at you! ;-D, **Born2BeCute** [I'm pretty sure people have tried to glare at cats. There just have never been a recorded case that the cat actually gave a sh!t about it. lol ;-) Will be pressing with the shonen-ai in upcoming chappies. :-D

_Sogi_ and _Go_ are the two board games that Shikamaru plays. For those who don't know what each of those games is: _Shogi_ is a form Japanesechess with the unique trait of moves called the _drops,_ where captured enemy pieces are returned into play as ally pieces, and _Go_ is played by two players alternately placing black and white stones on the vacant intersections of a line grid. If any of you are into chess, I REALLY suggest Shogi. :-)

**Disclaimer:** If I were a cat, I'd say I own, because cats don't have to pay lawsuits. ;-)

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 7: _Shogi and Go_

The most important quality of a team leader was strategic thinking and providence. Much like _Shogi_, there were the pieces you could use- comrades, grounds, supplies- and the enemy pieces- actual enemies, the elements, unpredictable events and so on. Much like _Shogi _one's proficiency in leadership found expressions in the most intricate details that won or lost the game. Unlike _Go _there were no preset lines in which one could move and nothing was black and white. A good team leader, one that intends to bring his team back fairly in the same condition as before the mission commenced, strategizes on how to turn those adverse factors into elements of success- ally pieces. A great team leader will also accept that he may fail in that task and people- _friends_- will die; he will cut his loses and treat threats to mission success like rotting limbs, amputating them.

Nara Shikamaru had never considered himself a _great leader_.

Most people- including his Hokage- found him on the slothful side and perhaps they had a point. He had decided, after his first mission as team leader- that _fiasco_ of a mission to retrieve Sasuke- that he didn't know if he wanted that much blood on his hands. During that mission, he had made the calls he had needed to, was prepared to die and accept the death of his friends. For the _duration_ that is, because soon as the Godaime had given him the news in that hospital aisle, it all caught up with him. And it wasn't bad news either. Still, he had failed and _failure_ had never been an alternative. He was lazy and hard to motivate, but when he committed to something, he prided himself at his ability to see it through. The Nara boy was not called _Konoha's Ace_ for nothing

He frowned to himself. Those thoughts were counterproductive and irrelevant to the present challenge. Present challenge being _eventually_ reaching Suna.

Although the Hidden Sand Village was approximately a three days travel from Konoha, the problem with crossing a desert was that sandstorms were unpredictable and troublesome. _Troublesome_ being his trademark, all-encompassing term, used in reference to most of creation and several things yet to materialize. Like sandstorms that could pin even skilled ninjas in a small cave, in the middle of nowhere, same as they would helpless children.

"Ramen will beat grilled _anything_, _anytime_."

"Food is an art, Naruto. It takes delicate taste buds and a proficient nose to appreciate a _good _meal."

The conversation in progress pertained to the _current_ adverse factor he had to deal with. Shikamaru's blasé gaze moved from Uzumaki Naruto to Akimichi Choji, the instigators of this conundrum. The two had decided to discuss the intricacies of different delicacies, sometime after realizing that food was scarce, as means of distraction. That was about as good an idea as decapitation for dandruff. It was slowly driving the rest crazy.

In his early days as a genin, he had to be on the lookout for Choji's appetite going haywire. Things hadn't changed too much, but between himself and Ino, the _pleasantly chubby_ boy had learnt some restraint. A lesson very easy to _unlearn,_ apparently, when joining forces with Naruto. They had overeaten the previous night, because they had made a good time getting to Suna; which meant the surplus of food he had included for a case _exactly_ like this- say, sandstorms- was had long since been digested. If only they had just listened to him, instead of casually _outvoting_ him. He really should start bossing them around some, but he couldn't find it in him. As a result, they had been left with scarcely a ration each until they got to their destination. Which could be in a few hours or a few days.

"Can you stop talking about food?"

Ino was getting more than somewhat irritable, pacing around in the small cave that was sheltering them from the elements. It was reasonable, if not for the fact that she had been getting progressively irritable as they traveled. Shikamaru made a mental note to take her aside and talk to her in private. The two of them had a strange kind of relationship, being so different, but, as the years went by, they had found common ground. And this wasn't like her. Ino could come off as a spoilt princess, but was a very nurturing and honorable person. She liked to run her mouth, but he and Choji both knew that, when push came to shove, they could count on her.

"You don't even care about food that much, Ino." Choji noted, his eyes narrowing a little. The _big boned_ boy's perception had always been sharp. A lot sharper than people gave him credit for. It wasn't that he didn't perceive things, it's that he knew when to let things damn be. The boy recognized when something was none of his business- and that was another reason that they had always gotten along so famously well. He was one of the very few people capable of reading and almost predicting Shikamaru's thoughts with a single shared look. Being best of friends was a significant factor. The rest was all Choji.

"I wouldn't _care,_ but you and Naruto were irresponsible. We may be stuck here for days!" Ino's voice tended to assume a bit of a shrieking tone when on the defensive. It could pierce though eardrums, skull and brainmatter. Her teammates had often wondered if she was doing it on purpose to hush any further argument.

With a wince at the sound, Shikamaru turned his attention to Naruto, who chose to practice his hard learned lesson of silence during a female's rant. His years with Sakura had not been a waste, it seemed. Choji fixed Ino with a stare that urged her to make amends, but the girl just rolled her eyes. The plump boy dropped it for the time being, confident that she would do the right thing once she was done with her tantrum. They had a very challenging chemistry at first, but the boy's easygoing nature- other than instances where the word "fat" had been in use- had brushed off on her and mellowed her feistiness and tendency to take things at face value.

Shikamaru's eyes moved to the girl- woman- sitting quietly across from him. Temari was perhaps the most troublesome woman he had ever met, barring his mother. Her dark teal eyes had been watching him as he studied the entire exchange. That small smirk edged on her lips, constantly challenging him to impress her. He sighed and shook his head slightly, allowing a countering smile. He had been spending too much time with her, being her standard contact when she was in Konoha. He had to admit that he had gotten used to their walks and verbal sparring and her absence in the coming weeks would be… noteworthy. Now wasn't _that_ troublesome…

"I'm sure that the sandstorm will soon subside." Temari started with a smile that plainly read, _Saving your ass again…_ "It's bad right now, but I've seen far worse."

Naruto sat back on his heels, somewhat assured. "Do you know anything about the scrolls Baa-chan mentioned?"

Temari took a deep breath, her hands smoothing the fabric over her thighs. Shikamaru knew it to be a gesture of discomfort, when her mind visited unwelcome memories. All the same, she looked up with a weary smile. "I'm afraid that when it came to tailed demons, other than the high ranks, the rest of us were left in the dark. If Gaara found something that might help you, it wasn't something we were privy to as we were growing up."

"Gaara sure is cool to cope learn how to control the demon without help…" Naruto said with a smile, breaking the awkward silence that had been about to settle.

Shikamaru was often thankful for the way Naruto was the one to make the _drops_ in his mental _shogi_. He could take a situation or a person and turn it around in the most unexpected ways. Gaara was an example. Sasuke was another example, though a lot less prone to admitting or demonstrating it. But even Neji, Kiba, Ino, Sakura- he had touched all of them in some unlikely way.

And speaking of Sasuke. "I hear Sasuke got a mission." Ino cleared her throat.

The blonde perked up at that. "Yeah… it's D-rank, but still… hopefully the first step out of probation. Baa-chan still doesn't like him too much."

"D-rank huh? Sasuke sure knows how to piss the right people off…" she said, rather dryly, drawing everyone's eyes on her. "What?"

Choji was the first to recover and dare ask. During their early years he had had to suffer through endless lectures of what make Sasuke so cool, unique, hot and whatever else, as ways to redirect him away from food. "Didn't you… have a major crush on Sasuke?"

Ino smirked. "When I was _12_. _Every_ girl had a crush on Sasuke." Her smile softened somewhat as memories obviously played through her mind, making her eyes look distant. With a sigh, she settled down by the fire and watched the flames. "I've grown up since then."

At that she stole a quick glance at Shikamaru, whose expression changed to moderate confusion. Even _he_ hadn't seen this one coming, but then again women were unfathomable creatures. And troublesome. If his parents were right and _Kami_ existed, women were probably a way to imbibe humility into men. He had never come across anyone who claimed to understand the workings of the female mind- even ANBU, who had seen _everything_ there was to see in several countries; even the Sandaime had declared ignorance. Now, he was _not _about to ask the _Godaime_ about it.

Temari shifted from her previous position for the first time in several hours and looked from the girl to him. There was a form and degree of understanding in her eyes- a type of _female understanding-_ that totally escaped him. It meant trouble most of the time and apologies for whatever the man did or didn't do or said or didn't say… or didn't say about what he didn't do, and so on and so forth. Men couldn't seem to reach women. Maybe they were not speaking their language, or maybe women were just not listening. The opposite would apply more often than not though, and, in the case of his mother and her peers, with the certainty of ensuing physical violence. His dad wore more scars from pissing off his mom than actual battles… Well, maybe he was overstating this, but, in his defence, his mom was scary.

Naruto continued to stare at Ino, flabbergasted. "So… you mean to tell me you got over _Sasuke_. The guy that you and Sakura-chan were pulling each other's hair for, for years. The guy that walked into the room and all you _tough_ _kunoichi_ just melted into a puddle for." He arched a brow. "We _are_ talking about the _same_ Sasuke, right?"

The girl made a sound of annoyance. "Yes." She waved any further comments off. "Sakura can have him all to herself."

Choji and Shikamaru shared a look. They had both known Ino for years, but she could have knocked them over with a feather with that one. Sure, her relationship with Sakura had improved tremendously over the years, but neither of them had thought that either girl was ever getting over the _Sasuke issue_, out of stubbornness, if nothing else. Shikamaru sighed. Women always made him feel stupid.

Most everyone had expected that the blonde would throw a fit about how _Sakura-chan_ belonged with him and not _Teme_. "Why?" he asked simply, blinking somewhat bemused.

Ino smiled a little. "I was mostly in the race to antagonize Sakura. I hadn't really been too interested in Sasuke before she broke off our friendship on his account." She shrugged. "Sasuke is _gorgeous_. He's smart, mysterious, tormented… dreamy by a girl's standards."

There were several blinks and arched brows her way, but, again, it was Choji who spoke first. This Sasuke-is-a-god-on-earth list sounded awfully familiar. "Is that supposed to explain why you no longer have a crush on him?"

She scoffed. "Sasuke is dreamy." A faint blush highlighted her cheeks as she focused her gaze on her hands, resting on her lap. "But I have found I like _real_ a lot more."

Choji smiled at her. It seemed that, like Temari, he understood more about Ino's words than the appointed genius of the team. Shikamaru frowned and made a mental note to retake that IQ test after all this yanking of his chain in Clueless Land. He felt as though everyone was darting glances his way when he wasn't looking and the ensuing annoyance had the makings of near paranoia. What on earth was he missing so utterly in translation?

"Think there's a way for Sakura-chan to appreciate that?" Naruto asked no-one in particular, after a pause.

"Sakura appreciates you, Naruto." Ino said in a tone that could mean something or nothing at all.

Whatever it was though, it went- of course- right over Naruto's head. He folded his arms thoughtfully. "I know, but Sasuke has always been hard competition."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at that. Apparently, he was not alone in Clueless Land, which didn't make him feel particularly less lonely. Way back when, there had been no issue of competition between Sasuke and him for Sakura. Between Sasuke and _anyone_ for _anyone_, for that matter, even as the raven couldn't care less. Funny, how it turned out that the only person capable of drawing the Uchiha in was the improbable blonde loudmouth himself. He took in a breath and wondered what was the name of the Land Sasuke lived in.

"Sasuke is Sasuke and you are you." He said finally, hoping that that was the end of it and they could all rest _quietly_ for a while. He could swear he heard Temari chuckle. That woman could see through him so easily, he sometimes wondered if she was a mind reader. When asked about it, his father had said it was an infamous pick-up line. That was enough to terminate any thoughts of actually voicing the question. "Troublesome…" he muttered.

Apparently, _quiet_ was too much to ask for. "But it's like Ino said. Sasuke _is_ gorgeous and mysterious and smart." He paused for a brief moment, tapping his lips thoughtfully. "He's also caring and funny, even though it doesn't seem like it."

Ino arched a brow. "You do realize you just said Sasuke is gorgeous." The girl had a cruel sense of humor.

Naruto's cobalt eyes were suddenly wide as saucers and he was blushing madly. "What?! No- _you_ said it- you! I was just quoting _you_!"

Yes, chain-yanking was fairly common form of entertainment in Clueless Land, unless you were the victim of it. The girl smiled warmly at the blonde. "I may not be smitten by Sasuke anymore, Naruto, but I am happy he's back and I'll be happier to hear that he's reinstated at some point in the future. Team 7 is finally complete again."

The boy smiled back, genuinely grateful for the expressed sentiment. He usually had to fend for his ex-teammate. "Thank you, Ino… This means a lot."

Temari rose from her position on the ground and walked towards the entrance of the small cave. "The storm has almost subsided. We can get moving."

Without further ado, everyone started to pack. Sandstorms were unpredictable and they counted their blessings that this one was short-lived. Shikamaru always travelled light so he was ready first. He walked outside the cave and looked up at the clear, midday sky. _No clouds in Suna…_He mused as he heard the chattering of his friends echo louder inside the cave. Konoha's Ace briefly wondered if he was paying up some short of karmic dept for all the things they had put Iruka through. More often than not, when he thought about it, he wondered if it was their ex-sensei's curse, for having to put up with them. Well… not _really_ a curse, because Iruka was just too good and decent a person to sink to immaturity like that. A _jinx_ however, might explain how he ended up in missions with the most _troublesome_ of the lot.

"You won't find clouds here to entertain your lazy habits." Temari said, walking to the small opening outside the cave to stand beside him.

He smiled in spite of himself. She had that effect on him. "That's what makes me homesick in Suna."

She arched a brow, somewhat incredulous. "The clouds?"

Shikamaru shrugged. When there were no clouds it was quiet. Cryptic almost. The clouds were nature's handwriting. One type of cloud meant storm, another meant a clear day ahead. But more than that, each cloud would stay in one form for so long before dissolving to something new. Each cloud was unique and there would never be another exactly like it in all eternity. The unique clouds were all sliding carelessly over the skies. They told stories and secrets in tinted hues of red, gold, pink, purple, white and gray against the sky's smooth tapestry.

Yet none of it was meant to stay. Much like life, happiness, sadness, pleasure and pain. The sky was not a dome and colors were just a reflection of light. The clouds were not Kami's obscure handwriting, they were water, waiting to be rain again and join the rivers and seas. And he was a ninja, not a poet. If he were to be completely honest, there was one reason he loved watching clouds that much.

"Come on, Shikamaru, we can be in Suna before nightfall!" Naruto enthused and jumped off the small, rocky patio to their original trail- a living, breathing hurricane that drew people in like no other.

Clouds didn't need to go anywhere. They allowed the winds to let them drift sluggishly high above. No strain to reach a destination, no bother at the unforeseen events before them. They united in a storm or melted away under the radiant sun. No pain, no regrets.

Ino stood beside him for a moment- a radiant sunset of gold and purple, filling the field of his vision- then patted his shoulder and joined Naruto.

Temari gave him a brief look and an assuring smile. "Maybe we'll find a way to bring your clouds to Suna. Then you can be lazy all you want there."

He welcomed the smile, but outside his expression showed his trademark bother. "You're troublesome." He muttered and she laughed, jumping off to where the others were. Temari was not a cloud, she was a formidable wind that could toss and twirl clouds like him. It was fortunate that she hadn't quite noticed.

Choji stood beside him and looked up, following his gaze in that vague part of the sky. Choji was the solid earth, the one that grounded him when his head was in the clouds or ran faster than any wind. "You sure know how to pick them." He said with a knowing smile, and continued at Shikamaru's frown. "We better get moving."

Shikamaru had an indistinct idea of what his friend was implying, but really, he hated to complicate things. Nothing exceeds like excess, right? Right. Going overboard can definitely be fun for a while- or so he had been told by his peers. Problem was, nothing can drag one further down tomorrow than excess tonight. Relationships were like that and his mind was conditioned to treat everything like a game of _Shogi_, trying to think ahead, or _Go_, attempting to find the black and white and each situation. "Aah."

The chubby boy nodded at him and slid down the small cliff effortlessly to join the others. Shikamaru spared the sky one more look before following suit.

While that endless round of _Shogi_ against an unknown and shapeless Future went on in his mind, the clouds drifted without a care in the world. Shikamaru had watched them since he was a child and wished he could be like them. To be carefree, to understand nothing, to not think, to abandon oneself to a greater force that drove them. The thought and sight of them gave him an obscure sense of peace. It was perhaps the ultimate guilty pleasure for one as _structured_ as him to love something so random and chaotic.

He looked up this team already picking up their previous conversations as they walked ahead. He was a formidable piece on the board and the best card on the deck, but, when he looked at his friends, he saw meaning that went beyond the lines and strategies. Hurricanes, winds, sunsets and solid ground floated in his vision in human shapes, more tangible and intricate than any icy cloud would ever be and twice as unique.

Shikamaru smiled to himself as he picked up the pace. Maybe he wasn't a poet, but the people in his life were certainly works of art.

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So… this is Chappie 13… I hope I got Shikamaru right. I tried to stray a bit from the cloud-watching and present another side… If all went well I didn't mess up and he's not ooc. I apologize for the semi-late update but I have tooth-troubles. One cheek went all imperialistic on me and keeps expending so this will be… troublesome. If I am somewhat late updating due to that, sorry in advance. I'll try to keep to schedule tho. Next one will probably be another Kakashi – Sasuke… or a Sai – Sakura. Haven't decide yet. Off to take meds.. :-P

Kisses and huggies to you all!

Ja.

M.


	14. Tide 7: Splinters

**A/N: **Let me start with apologizing for an omission last chapter in my thanks to the anon readers and that's to **Carmen**. Sorry sorry- mind was numb with painkillers for the tooth! Thank you all who read, extra smooches to those who take the time to review and offer feedback- really REALLY appreciate it. :-D Thanks my anon readers **Kakashi's Dog** [Thank you! Sakura – Sai will be coming up after this one… with some Sasuke. ;-), **Shikamaru's Secret Love** [Thank you. :-D I like ambiguity. Hehe, **Naruto101** and of course my **"?"**[I can't rush stuff even if I try so that works. Hehe I want you to know that I DID consider throwing a _thong_ in the chapter for the hell of it! Lol You crack me up. .

I had started to write the Sakura-Sai chapter, but after a couple of pms I realized I was messing with continuity if I left this one for later. So extra thanks to **TWNJ** for helping out with consistency. .

**Disclaimer:** I own the splinter in this chapter. ;-D

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 7: _Splinters_

Uchiha Sasuke was well beyond pissed and treading to the very dangerous seeing-red territory- quite literally at that, considering his Sharingan and all. And, in spite of what people thought, that was unusual for him. Generally he was considered quick tempered with a very short fuse, but, in reality, most of his outburst were dramatic for show. Because that made people think twice about upsetting him again. Overall though, he recognized that anger- much like fear- rendered for poor decisions and ill-advised reactions. Having accepted that- through experience- he tried to avoid the emotion, when he could. Right now, he couldn't.

He felt Kakashi's gaze resting on him for a moment and hoped that there was actual fume coming out of his ears to sufficiently obstruct his view. He was certain that the older man was laughing at his expense- and with fairly good reason.

Konoha's once-upon-a-time rising star was returning from a D-ranker with a limp. It wasn't even due to unforeseen combat action- oh no, the mission itself had been _so_ boring, he would have much rather watched paint dry. The last Uchiha was limping his way back home, because Kakashi was a cheap bastard and booked them a contemptible excuse of a room the previous night. All was well, until he woke up and stepped on the wooden floor bare-footed and right on a splinter. Probably the _only_ splinter on the entire sorry inn, but it was there, waiting for him. The paranoid him had already provided karmic reasons that explained why that prickly piece of would was currently giving him grief. The fact that he had not said anything to avoid embarrassment, had nothing to do with it. Nor did the fact that by the time Kakashi noticed that there was a problem, his toe had been infected; the reddish purple should have been a dead giveaway for that one. The Jounin had not laughed or taunted as he inspected his swelling toe and declared it an infection, and that's how Sasuke knew that he was secretly laughing his butt off at his expense.

The raven stared at his oversized toe, turning an unhealthy deeper purple, mournfully. Sakura was going to have to heal this- no matter how hectic her schedule- because he sure as hell wasn't telling anyone else. Including the Dobe.

Speaking of which, he had lost track of the times he had wished the loud blonde was there. There, but completely unaware of his plight, if he could have it. And maybe he could, because Naruto could be clueless about the most obvious things- though he appeared to be a lot more alert around him since his return. Sasuke wondered if perhaps his friend was still uncertain about his decision to stay in Konoha and couldn't really blame him. Sometimes he still wondered what he was doing there; mostly when the blonde was away, his presence becoming an unexpected necessity. He would not say that out loud, of course, among other things. Somewhere along the line, the idea of hurting Naruto had become an emotional splinter the likes of which were impossible to remove. The thought drew a smile that he himself could not understand.

"We should be in Konoha before nightfall." Kakashi said, looking up at the sun for a moment. "Unless you need a break."

Fumes out of his ears darkened to black smoke, he was sure. He had certainly survived _worse_ wounds than a splinter. And the wound on his toe would never measure up to the wound in his pride. "I'm fine, Kakashi." He spat.

He was hoping that it _was_ mere paranoia that made him think he heard a muffled chuckle, because Kakashi did look sober when he turned his way. Not that one could ever really know… Sasuke needed a distraction or he'd attack the Jounin, legitimate reasons or not. He would break probation and Naruto would have to kill him on account of his mood just being _that _foul. It occurred to him that he had never appreciated the amount of stress relief that the blonde brought in missions with his loud comments and his silly ways.

_Naruto and Sakura…_Both of whom were currently otherwise engaged in their own tasks.

Though it had not been the first time that he had set off on his own with Kakashi, leaving the other two behind, it had never been for a mission. Training maybe, but even then the idea that there were at least two people back home waiting for him made it almost feel good. The boy in him liked the idea of being missed. Another epiphany he had was that, even as he had presumed to have severed his bonds, he had never cut the umbilical cord to _Team 7_. When he had left, they had been a three-man-cell and far from ready to separate for missions. The stubborn part of him that refused and rejected all change, had expected that nothing would be different, even as everything had changed. The part of him that tried and failed to pull out the splinters of Time.

_Absurd…_ He scolded himself.

"Ma, Sasuke, you have been so quiet. Are you sure you're not in pain?" Kakashi asked, his tone deceptively concerned.

"You are a _bad_ actor, Kakashi." Sasuke accused, not bothering to play along this time.

The silver-haired Jounin merely arched an innocent brow. Sasuke hated how his ex-mentor had always found his insults or threats- at best- merely amusing. Maybe he really didn't realize that he was no longer the boy he knew. Maybe he didn't think that it wasn't beyond him to freakin _glare_ him to death… quite literally, with all the Sharingan jutsus he knew now. He tried to bridle his present temper. If he ended up going _psycho_ on someone, he'd confirm some peoples' assumptions that he beat up on others to make himself feel better. He wondered who the hell had started that rumour anyway. If it _was_ Kakashi, he'd have to kill him on principal. Or maybe it was that brat Konohamaru, because he bore a remarkable resemblance to Naruto that age. Only darker… and about as immature… and still missing that tooth. He doubted there ever was or ever would be a tooth there.

"You need to be more trusting of people's concern." Kakashi said casually, almost like reading a line out of his book.

This time he glared, however grateful he felt that his previous train of thought had come to a halt. "When it's _honest_, I am."

"Such cruel words, Sasuke-_kun_."

Sasuke noted that Kakashi had not even tried to _fake_ hurt. Their conversations often resembled the lines of a script that they read out loud without actually trying to act them out. Like Kakashi, he was a bad actor himself. The two of them had been sharing a roof for the past several months, so it was becoming increasingly difficult to take each other seriously or get under each other's skin. In spite of their age difference, they had not developed the father-son relationship. Kakashi was many things- a teacher, a comrade, a confidant- but none of them was a father figure. Sasuke, for his part, had been mourning his dead father for years, avenged his death and had finally made his peace with being the last of his line. What they did have, though, was a deep understanding that had amazed him.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, _sensei_." he jabbed back on the same note.

The verbal sparring was amusing enough to them both- more so now that the tedious D-rank was over. Still, there was something nagging at the back of Sasuke's mind and it gained ground the more he tried to ignore or dispel it. There had been a certainty in him that his first mission out of Konoha would have been with Naruto. It was a purely unsubstantiated conviction, but all the same, he had been taken aback to hear that it would be Kakashi instead. And for some reason, the more he thought about it, the more it got to him that the blonde had not objected at all. It was a mental splinter, this one, and it made his mind swell with confusion about both their reactions. Naruto shouldn't have been that cool about it and he shouldn't have been quite that bothered. Something in him was sinking and he couldn't even tell what it was.

"You look like there something bothering you." Kakashi uncharacteristically probed. "You already said it's not your toe."

Sasuke shook his head. He could try to glare again- for all it was worth- but he knew it was useless. "Nothing of your concern."

Kakashi's visible eye moved to him. "As long as you are under my supervision it is. For all I know, you could be planning to assassinate the Hokage."

This time he did glare. "You know it's nothing like that. You're just fishing."

"To fish, would suggest that there's something to catch." Kakashi returned to his book. "In any case, why not think that? You'd be more favored by the next in line to become Hokage."

A scoff. "If you're talking about the Dobe, the Elders would not accept him at this point."

The Jounin arched a brow. "But you would consider it, if they were to accept him?"

It was mostly theoretics, but the amount of time Sasuke took to consider his answer made him close the book and instead turn his attention to the boy walking beside him. "Sasuke?"

Kakashi was very good at phrasing his name as a threat. Sasuke was just as good at dismissing it. "No. Tsunade means too much to Naruto. It would cost more than it's worth." Then he smiled haughtily. "Unless you'd prefer I say something like, 'Oh no, how could you _ever_ think that of me! I _love_ our Hokage-sama'."

The older man merely blinked, before returning to his Icha-Icha book. "No. I prefer that you do this for Naruto."

That drew a frown from him. "Why?"

"Loyalty is a good answer. If your loyalty to Konoha or Konoha's Hokage is not a prominent factor yet, it's good that your loyalty to a Konoha_ ninja_ is." Kakashi's eye closed in the crescent that suggested he was smiling under his mask. "You and Naruto seemed quite _close_ last time, so I'll believe you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and smirked. "I was wondering when this would come up." He turned to the older man with a cocky attitude that was uniquely Uchiha's, splinters and swollen toes forgotten for a moment. "You disappoint me, Kakashi. I thought you were saving it for when you could _really_ embarrass me with it." He started walking again, adding a parting. "Getting soft in your old age?"

He had made it about ten steps ahead, before he froze at Kakashi's reply. "Trust me, Sasuke… one of these days you will do something so outrageous, you won't need any help from me."

A chill went up his spine, knowing, without looking, that the Copy Ninja was smiling wittingly. That smile was not meant to tease, but to warn. It meant he had seen something that no Sharingan or Byakugan could perceive; only the eye of experience. Kakashi had plenty of that. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing." Kakashi walked up to him, then past him unruffled by the tension that overtook the boy. "What would I know in my _old age_."

Charcoal eyes narrowed at him. There was a time for verbal sparring and there was a time for straight answers. "That's what I'd like to know."

The Jounin sighed as Sasuke fell in step with him. "What am I supposed to tell you, if you haven't figured it out yourself?"

Now he was confused and defensive, feeling that his intelligence had just been insulted in some way. "Figured out what? What are you talking about?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually." He was delving into his Icha-Icha book again, apparently considering the matter over. "You're a genius, ne?"

Sasuke's previously foul mood just hit rock bottom with that snare, so he proceeded to snatch the book from his ex-mentor's grasp, demanding his attention. "So, it is your belief that I will mess up at something, even though I have yet to figure out what that is."

Kakashi's visible eye moved from Sasuke to his obsession of a book that the boy was currently fanning at him. "You will mess up, _because_ you haven't figured out what it is."

The raven moved further back as Kakashi reached for his book. "You are making less sense than usual."

The Jounin took a deep breath. "There are three real enemies one must face and defeat in life." And even though the boy rolled his eyes, he continued. "Himself, his fear, and his confusion. And you, Sasuke, have neither faced nor defeated any of them."

And with that, in a flash of a moment, Kakashi moved up behind him and retrieved his book. He coolly retraced the page he was on and started walking. Sasuke, for his part, watched him stunned. It dawned upon him that the older man could have done that all along and was simply indulging him. If something was going to be his downfall, it would be pride and that ugly habit he had to underestimate people and things. He had to learn to, every so often, admit that he wasn't quite on target- not necessarily wrong, but definitely not right.

Sasuke started walking again. "And you have?"

"No." was the off-handed reply.

It was a surprise. The man had spoken as though he knew- really knew- what it was like to fight against those spectral enemies. "No?"

"Some of us don't have what it takes to fight _and_ win. Most of us choose to fight anyway." Kakashi answered to his unspoken thoughts, never looking up from his book. "I couldn't win, so I've made my peace with them. Maybe if you succeed where I have failed, we'll understand each other less and be less alike. And maybe you won't end up alone."

Sasuke stared at the ground, because he didn't want to know what expression might go with those words. Kakashi's words were suddenly a splinter in his heart, made of truths and nightmares. It stung deeper and deeper with each beat and his heart raced with something akin to panic. Down the hill, he could see Konoha bathing in the last rays of a glorious sunset and all he really wanted to do was run. Run somewhere that those thoughts did not echo so tangible and foreboding. Anywhere that he could find someone that could remove that splinter. Unbridled, his mind ran off to the Dobe.

A hand on his shoulder brought him rather violently out of his thoughts. Kakashi was watching him quietly, his usual gamely mood having abandoned his frame. The touch was not comforting, but it was solid and that's what he needed. Or rather, not what he _needed_ per se, but all he would allow himself to _receive_.

"Let's forget about all that for now. It's late and we are both tired." Kakashi then proceeded to smile. "Besides, it's not so bad being me. Ask the ladies."

The raven arched a brow and smirked a little. "Ask your students."

The Jounin chuckled at that. Sasuke's features relaxed into a soft smile, allowing those thoughts that plagued him to ebb back into the depths of his mind. He let his usual confidence seep into him, assuring himself that he could win where others had failed. And yet he couldn't explain why the most soothing thought to him was seeing Naruto. He wanted to deny it, but he knew that he didn't deserve such a caring and supportive person in his life. In fact, he had to consider himself lucky that the blonde was more naive than a newborn puppy when it came to people's innate goodness, or he'd never have fared a second chance.

Sasuke winced as his infected toe throbbed with each step, yet, given the option there and then, he would choose to limp all the way to Suna, however many splinters sting with every single step.

* * *

::looks around uncertainly:: So yeah… that was Chappie 14… Started all upbeat, but the Kakashi had to speak and I don't know what the hell happened… dammit, I can't write Kakashi upbeat… at least not for long. Heh Next Chapter will be the Sakura –Sai one, but it will start off with Sasuke… we need to take care of his toe, right?

Thank you all for your patience during my tooth-aching period. I hope you enjoy this one…

Kisses and huggies!

Ja!

M.


	15. Tide 8: More than This

**A/N:**Hey there, mina-san! Yes, this chapter is an _Tide_… because it turned out that way in spite of the fact that the usual suspects in it usually inspire me for _Ebbs_. It's probably one of the longest chapters in the fic because, though it's from Sai's pov, it's a lot about Sakura and Sasuke too. As always, thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing and tons of love and huggies and kisses to you:-D

**Insomniac **[Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked Shika- writing him was… troublesome. lol Kakashi's more upbeat in canon and I view him as rather darker- mostly due to certain _moments_ in the anime/manga… dammit. ;-D Sasuke was a bit more _docile_ for 2 reasons. One, Naruto was not around, so there was no rivaling ritual to fall into and, two, because I think there should be a bit of a change in pacing. Naruto has been after him for 3 years or so. And yes, Hinata will get her Chapter soon. And the rest of Team 8… Ino too. And Temari. Damn, that's a lot of characters in Naruto…, **Toi&Moi **[LOL, yes, Sasuke is great to work on. I love him. Ditto on your thoughts about Kakashi and no worries, there's no slash between Sakura and Sai. :-D, **Kakashi's Dog** [Thank you! Teehee!, my **Thongs **aka **"?"** [Thank you! LOL! I'd leave more than one thong in there… and own them as well, along with the splinters. :-D

**Disclaimer:** Still own the splinter… that's about it tho. ;-)

* * *

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 8: _More than This…_

He had honestly expected more than this.

When Sai spotted Uchiha Sasuke limping his way to the hospital, side by side with Kakashi, he had thought that perhaps this was a story worth looking into. His take would be that the limp had something to do with the Uchiha's bottom, but, as it turned out, it was just the very tedious toe. Albeit mundane, it was amusing all the same. The great Uchiha Sasuke- the first meeting with whom had left him in cold sweat- was bitching and moaning over a _splinter,_ to his understanding. He hoped that it would get to be a very good show, very soon or it wasn't worth being perched on the tree like an owl. Worth delaying his decision to have a word with Sakura.

"Ouch- hey!"

The sudden exclaim brought him back to the scene he was watching. Apparently, Sakura had pulled out the splinter a little too roughly for the Uchiha's liking. Teal eyes looked up to meet the fierce glare of charcoal ones, unphased, as she applied healing chakra on the infection. Years and years ago he suspected that the now-mighty Sakura would have withered under that glare. He wondered when that had changed exactly and felt a fair amount of certainty that even _she_ couldn't place the moment, if asked- though not by him; at best he'd get one of her infamous punches for his trouble. Still he wondered, because he couldn't understand the emotion. Was it an instant that something in her just snapped out of the dreamy haze or did she just get tired of pining for what she couldn't have over time? Maybe it didn't really matter anymore. All he was sure of was that there was a disproportionate change in the dynamics of the once-Team 7.

Sakura offered her most innocent smile at her current patient. "Ah, sorry, Sasuke-kun… I didn't mean to hurt you."

Sai had learned the hard way not to trust that smile. Apparently Sasuke could tell the difference between her real smiles and the fake ones, because he frowned at her as she stopped using her chakra and got a vial from the counter beside them. She used a small spatula to apply a piss-yellow ointment and started wrapping the toe in bandages.

"I can remember a time that you sounded more sincere than this…" he grumbled.

She smiled more, finishing up with the bandage. "And I can remember a time that you used to complain less than this." Then she met his eyes levelly. "That was before Orochimaru, though. Ne, _Sasuke-kun_?"

It wasn't too often that Sai saw such a swift switch in gear mood-wise. Sasuke went from embarrassed and grumbling about a splinter to tense and then suddenly he was cool as air, rising from the examination table to test his foot and balance. It was so curious to him; everyone in Team 7 had learned to operate primarily under masks. And all of them were more than this. He wanted to understand, yet he didn't even know how to ask the questions. If his heart could ache, it would ache to experience those different layers. Did it feel safer to hide? Sai didn't hide- at least not consciously- because he couldn't even find something to hide from, to run from. Even misery should feel as something more than this. Less than emptiness.

"I hear you and Lee are going out." Sasuke was back on the offensive, changing the subject to something that was none of his business, but Sakura would feel the need to respond to, since he was still her friend and everything.

_Ingenious_, Sai thought.

The girl apparently had lingering feelings for the Uchiha, because she blushed and her poise was suddenly fused with awkwardness. Why she felt so strongly about him, Sai would never understand. And it wasn't just him- no-one seemed to understand what kept them together. He wouldn't even start with Naruto. If Sakura was bad, the blonde was the epitome the bonds which to avoid. There was hope for Sakura though. If she decided to move on from that obvious childhood- _childish-_ crush, even if Lee, to his opinion, could drive people insane just as well. The Green Boy was just _more _than a little upbeat. Sai couldn't stand it.

The news of Sakura dating him, though, had solved the mystery of the latest punch he had received from her, when he had mentioned that his pubic hair was probably thick as his brows. Oh, well. It was probably true, anyway.

"Yeah." Sakura spoke up after a moment, no blush or awkwardness framing her words anymore. "I figured it was about time that I moved on."

At that, he looked up somewhat surprised, yet when he smiled it was the most open Sai had seen him with anyone other than Naruto. He wondered if perhaps Sakura's affections had been a source of guilt for him. In his opinion, Sasuke should stop blaming all of his issues on other people and instead do a little soul-searching to figure out how he's managed to royally screw up his life.

"Good." He said simply and adjusted his shirt. "Are we done?"

"You'll need to come in for a follow up in three days. Drink a teaspoon of this once a day in the meantime."

He retrieved a small white vial and walked to the door. "Thanks for your help, Sakura-_sama_."

Sakura took a deep breath, fists clenching and unclenching at her side. "Why not?" she asked then.

The question hang in the air too vague, yet actually rather foreboding. Sasuke must have thought so too, because he didn't turn to face her. Sai was betting he was frowning.

"Why what not?" the Uchiha asked in a tone that betrayed neither curiosity nor discomfort.

"Why would it not work out between you and me?"

Sai had to give her credit for how composed she looked. He had seen the dejected poise after a turndown in people and knew that women could cry easier. It had happened to him once and, though he had tried to be polite, the girl was quite upset at his denial. Being polite- "No thank you, try someone else."- was not what it was cut out to be. And smiling had only made her more furious. He didn't get it.

The Uchiha had been holding the door part open, probably weighing his choice between fight or flight. But he owed his ex-team mate more than this- more than shrugging her question aside- so he closed it with deliberate care, deep in thought. He paced into the room, but kept a self-conscious distance. "Back then, it matter more that I killed my brother."

If Sai was in the habit of rolling his eyes, he would have. As it were, he merely blinked. Sasuke had made that leap from _ingenious_ to _unoriginal_ in record time.

Sakura knew that. It didn't seem to answer her question. Not fully. "And."

Charcoal eyes snapped up to hers, this time simply- intensely- bemused that she was pushing it instead of dropping it nice and clean. He fidgeted with his sleeve slightly. "That's all."

"It's not." She said simply. "We are grown-ups now. And you owe me this, Sasuke."

The pale boy watching the scene unfolding before him just blinked more surprised than Sasuke looked and significantly more interested he had been than during the toe thing. No _–kun_, no tremble. Sai had wondered if the Sakura he had met and the one he had heard about were two different people. Obviously, the starry-eyed, head-over-heels-in-love-with-Sasuke-_kun_ Sakura was no longer in the penthouse.

"Before you left, I confessed my feelings for you." A slight crack in her voice, imperceptible and negligible, but there, betraying the remnants of a once-dominant emotion. "I deserve to know why it wasn't enough to keep you here. No?"

As to the Uchiha, he was living up to his own reputation of being severely lacking, when dealing with delicate situations. He felt cornered and looked it. Bad. "I…" he started, then took a steadying breath and started again. "I can only be blunt, Sakura, and I don't want to. You deserve better than my ill-manners." When her eyes didn't move from him, nor did she say anything, he gave up. "I didn't think you were strong enough."

Sakura winced at that. "Oh."

Sai suspected that this was the answer she had expected. She wasn't shocked or taken aback, just rather hurt to hear out loud what had been ringing inside her head for years. This one, Sai could understand, not because he had ever felt the emotion- that he could remember- but because he could see it happening every day. For the most part, people already knew the answers to the questions they had been afraid to ask. And it wasn't the questions that required balls to ask, but hearing the answer you've been expected from the lips of another. It sounds different outside the confines of one's mind, however rehearsed in every possible scenario.

Sasuke inched closer, looking somewhat helpless and very tentative. _Like treading on a mine-field_, Sai smirked, wondering if perhaps an emotional fire-storm was in the offing.

"I did care about you… I do. I would have died and killed for you." He paused and sighed, searching for words. "It's just that I… I… uh…"

"I know." Sakura smiled at him, letting him off the hook with more grace than he deserved, perhaps. "I knew. It's okay."

He placed a hand on her shoulder warily. "Are we okay?"

Her lips parted and teal eyes widened in surprise. She was probably shocked that this mattered to him. The Uchiha had been trying hard and long enough to show that he doesn't care and doesn't need anyone that he had convinced just about anyone, including himself. He wondered how Naruto managed to ignore the hint even as Sasuke had shoved a Chidori through his chest and had only missed his lungs, because the blonde had moved. Sai believed that, even at the time, without the three-year-long obsession, Sasuke had already gotten his heart. He was breaking it and building it up again at his whim. The willingness to submit oneself to such was more than loyalty.

"We are okay."

The Uchiha let out the breath he had been holding and made his way to the door again, limp barely noticeable. _Showtime_.

"And in any case…" he smirked. "I can't imagine the Sharingan mingling well with pink hair."

Sakura laughed at that. "You know what, Sasuke? Neither can I… anymore."

As Sasuke opened the door to leave, he almost collided with the waiting Sai. He took a step back in reflex, leaning his weight on his injured foot and cursed. Sai reached out and steadied him. The Uchiha frowned at him, disbelieving of his motivations, yet his features unmarred by the familiar aggravation. A moment later, Sasuke was stepping around him, intent on keeping this particular interaction short as possible.

"Are you alright?" Sakura stopped the raven to join his side, much to his chagrin.

"Don't worry, Sakura-san." Sai smiled at her. "It's a good thing I was here."

"If you weren't there, this wouldn't have happened." Sasuke deadpanned.

"I'm sorry for inconveniencing you, Sasuke-kun… it must be difficult to walk like you have something up your ass." That fake smile broadened just a bit as Sasuke's frown deepened and his lips thinned to keep himself from answering to that. Sai was an artist though and every insult demanded a dramatic climax… _More than this…_ "Though after three years with Orochimaru, I'd have though you'd be used to that by now."

The Uchiha's previously less-than-constipated mood, dissolved to murderous intent like a piece of ice thrown in boiling water.

"Sai, that's enough…" Sakura warned in that no-bullshit tone of hers, but there was more than warning in her eyes. There was apprehension. Sasuke was still a wild card and the probation period was not over, mission or not.

It was against Sai's nature though to leave a work of art unfinished- the only exception having been his picture book, a while ago. When he smiled around Uchiha Sasuke, he didn't close his eyes, even though it added to the effect. "I think Naruto-kun will be hurt to hear how unfaithful you've bee to him."

The Sharingan flared dangerously, yet Sai couldn't help but note that fury fitted the Last Uchiha. It was beautiful and magnificent like his fire jutsus, yet deadly and venomous as snake.

Sakura stepped between them. "That's _enough_, Sai." Her own expression was sour to say the least. "Sasuke… please."

Sasuke's eyes moved to her, slowly fading to bottomless charcoal. He nodded at her and walked out of the room without a word. Sai noticed that the Uchiha was forcing himself not to limp.

Sakura closed the door behind him and turned to Sai. "What was that about?"

"I thought that you of all people would understand, Sakura-san." He said with that smile that he knew got on her nerves. "You may be strong like a freak of nature, but you seem to have some female sensitivity."

He was fairly certain that if not for all the goodies that belonged to her precious mentor, Sakura would have punched him halfway across the hospital. "What do you mean?" she asked in her scariest tone.

This time he looked at her, the smile gone. "The Uchiha should be kept away from Naruto-kun, while he's training to gain control over the Kyuubi."

The girl frowned at him and crossed her arms. "That would just cause Naruto distress. He wouldn't go for it."

"It's counter-productive. Do you suppose that Naruto-kun would feel comfortable about Sasuke-kun seeing him in his Kyuubi form?" he asked then. He honestly wanted to mess with her head, but he prioritized. His words weren't entirely concern-driven- he had to admit that much. In some ways, watching those two was one of the most intriguing things he had ever seen. In some ways, it bothered him. "As I recall, he was quite apprehensive about anyone seeing or knowing about the demon."

"Sasuke already knows about the demon." She interrupted.

"Yes, but he hasn't _seen_ what we have seen, Sakura-san." He continued. "Do you believe that Naruto-kun would recover, if Sasuke were to be repulsed at the sight? More to the point, do you think Naruto-kun trusts in that bond of theirs enough to really train as he would, if the Uchiha wasn't there?" That was the question, wasn't it? How strong was that bond from Sasuke's side? The blonde himself would probably be unable to answer that particular question, if asked. "When the Kyuubi takes over- and it _will_ take over at times until Naruto-kun finishes his training- he is not cognizant of friend or foe. How would he deal with the idea of harming his _precious friend_."

Sakura seemed to consider it. She had been there during that fight with Orochimaru. If not for Yamato, she would have died there and then, by her team mate's hand. "Perhaps you have a point… I will discuss it with Tsunade-sama…"

"Or perhaps", he started again, "Sasuke-kun may be the only one powerful enough to withstand the Kyuubi's assault during training. Maybe he's a necessity."

The pink-haired girl turned to him, frustration plainly written across her features. "What are you getting at? You just gave me a list of good reasons why Sasuke should be kept _out_ of it. Now you change your mind?"

Sai smiled then, not because it was amusing, but because he didn't need her to take him seriously anymore. "All those reasons are still valid. The fact that there's no one else capable of countering the Kyuubi's immense power, is also true."

Sakura shook her head at the idea. "Fights between them don't seem to go very well. There has to be someone else… what about Kakashi-sensei?"

The pale boy simply blinked, the answer plain to him. "I realize you think highly of your mentor, but even though he can reproduce Sasuke-kun's jutsus, he could never make up for the potency. The Kyuubi would obliterate him."

She stared at him, her beautiful teal eyes asking him for another option that wasn't there. There was no more than this. With all the risks that could take a fatal toll on Naruto's heart, Uchiha Sasuke was the only candidate with jutsus outrageous enough and rule-bending to stand a chance when the _real_ training began and in case the demon took over.

"We should discuss this with Tsunade-sama." She said, urgently packing away all the things she had been using on the Uchiha.

Sai _would_ have gone to the Godaime with all this himself, if he had thought she would hear him fair and unbiased. This was _her_ Naruto though and bad news had better be delivered by a more favorable messenger. He much doubted that Tsunade wanted the Uchiha involved in this. "_You_ can discuss it with Tsunade-sama. For me it will sound like a bad case of conflict of vested interests." He said breezily, smile oscillating. "I wouldn't want to get between the happy couple. Either of them can screw it up themselves, if they want. Their bond."

"You need to stop saying perverted things like that, Sai." Sakura deadpanned, not really affording him any actual aggravation. She thought it was just his usual naughty speech.

Sai closed his eyes for a moment. She had to be able to see that it was actually more than this. "Really, Sakura-san? Then answer this for me as well. Have you seen Naruto-kun look at anyone the way he looks at _him_? Talk so keenly or feel that strongly about anyone else… yourself included, for all his proclamations of love."

Sakura frowned at him, her eyes narrowing just slightly.

"Do you think that there's anyone else out there with that much power over Naruto-kun? Anyone that he'd fight so fiercely to protect them and his bond with them?" he continued, his voice a dispassionate monotone despite his wording. "He became a _monster _for Sasuke."

Her eyes seemed avid with memories, as though she was skimming though an entire lifetime worth of moments and yoking them with his allusions. Her frown deepened and it appeared as though she was about to say something, when there was a knock on the door.

"Sakura-san?" Lee asked, looking in. "Oh- forgive me, I didn't know you were busy-"

But before he could finish his apology, Sakura walked over to him- maybe a tad too fast, as though grateful for the interruption- and pulled him into the room. "You are not interrupting. I forgot about dinner, I'm sorry…" she sighed and smiled. "It's been busy."

Just as the Green Boy smiled, Sai spoke up with his usual smile. "Treating Sasuke-kun took up a lot of her time and attention." He got a sharp look for that one, not that it would dishearten him, of course, "But don't worry. He prefers guys with small penises."

Lee's eyes were wide as saucers, but Sakura clamped his mouth with her hand. The pink haired girl knew by then that continuing such a discussion with Sai could only end in murder. "And Sai, here, was on his way. Thank you for your input."

That was his cue and he didn't need more than this to know that it was time for a dramatic exit. "Enjoy your dinner… and Sakura-san? A word of advice."

Her expression read clear warning, which both of them knew he would not heed. "I really don't need-"

"If you find that Lee-kun has a small penis, you better keep him away from Sasuke."

It was fortunate that Sai was faster than Sakura's fist, because the wall behind him crumbled to dust as he fled. Even several blocks away, he could still hear the threats and a slight murmur that was probably Lee's attempts to calm her down. He wondered what on Kami's green earth the boy was thinking, going after such a scary girl and how long it would be before it was safe to be around Sakura. She could accept the _mea culpa_ attitude, but had little to nothing to do with the _te absolve_.

Sai paused outside Naruto's apartment complex and looked up at the dark windows. While the blonde was off making sandcastles with the Kazekage in Suna, life went on like every other day in Konoha, full of surprises. His guess was that by the time the boy was back, he and Sasuke would have a lot to catch up on, but neither would say a thing.

He supposed that this is what happens when what one _really_ wants to share was not the everyday trivialities. It was much, much more than this.

* * *

So, this is chappie… uh… is it 15 now? Wow… Anyway. Next one will be set in Suna and will be Kankuro's pov. Yes, yes, Kankuro… I think he should get more screen time. People in Suna are cool. ;-) Chappie after that will probably be Hinata… See? I have a plan… kinda… hehe 

Love you all and hope you enjoy!

Ja!

M.


	16. Ebb 8: Dolls

**A/N: **Hello my looveys! Thank you all for reading and reviewing and pming. I love you tons. All hail **TWNJ**, vestal priestess of Continuity in my story. . Thanks tons sweetie. Well, I've already told you guys that this one is for Kankuro. I really like the character and I hope I got him right… 

My thanks and responses to the anon readers go here: **Kakashi's Dog** [I'm glad you like my take on Sai… I make him a wee bit mean at times. Heheh Hope you like the Kankuro chappie. :-D, **Mira-chan** [LOL! Thank you! My friends tell me I have a dirty mind. ;-D, **Insomniac **[Feedback keeps authors honest, so thank you for your criticism. :-D I don't think that Sasuke and Naruto could ever get rid of their rivalry. If either is too meek, they are probably sick. lol I do want to work on a more upbeat Kakashi at least for one of the chapters… hopefully I'll get it right. Sakura is insecure and demanding in the chapter. One reason is because it's tough to address the specific subject, especially since she suspects the answer… and two… any mature person gets closure before really moving on in order to give the next person an honest chance… therefore the demanding tone. I think it takes BALLS to ask that question… I know I wouldn't have… O.o And Sai is Sai… one can love him, hate him, or love to hate him… It's funny that you know someone like that in real life. :-D 

**Disclaimer:** Own the idea for the title… humdrum and predictable as it may be. ;-D

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**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 8: _Dolls_

There were not too many people who really got why he had decided to become a puppet master over all the other options his village would offer him. And, granted, he was quite fearsome- and creepy as any of his siblings when in combat- _now_, but back in the day he had to suffer through a lot of grief for being the only boy in Suna who played with _dolls_. Which they weren't _dolls_, they were _puppets_. His peers didn't get how that was more intriguing than practicing with kunai or whatever one's bludgeoning or eviscerating weapon of choice was.

"Use your own chakra as a damper to the demon's." Gaara's voice was instructing, his tone that of a teacher in spite of his young age. "The Kyuubi's chakra should be reinforcing your own, not overpowering it."

Then again, Gaara had been too young for anything he had experienced in his life thus far. To young to be a weapon, to be betrayed, to kill… to be killed. The Kazekage had come back from death itself, free of his demon and his past stigma as a monster and a threat to his own people.

Naruto stared at the scroll in front of him for a moment and then closed his eyes in an attempt to focus. 

Sabaku no Kankuro folded his arms in patient wait for what was appearing to be a fruitless effort for the past several hours. Not to mention, as the Nara boy had pointed out often, not a very wise idea. Growing up with Gaara he had had numerous opportunities to witness just how fragile humans could be. When _broken_ there was no fixing them. When destroyed, you could not craft them anew, however patient or committed. And those were some of the many reasons why Kankuro preferred his _dolls_.

Naruto's chakra was pulsating with the vicious red of the Fox. The damper he had created with his own chakra had cracks and holes and the Kyuubi's was sipping through them.

"Focus." Gaara warned with no alarm coloring his tone, even as everyone had tensed. 

Kankuro had always admired how his brother's voice was a perfect monotone. During their childhood he had thought it was because the kid had no emotions. It really wasn't so. 

"Perhaps it would be a better idea for him to stay here and train with Gaara." Temari said, mostly thinking aloud than actually suggesting.

Shikamaru sighed. "Respectfully, the Kazekage no longer has Sukaku to match the Kyuubi's power in battle, if things were to get out of hand." He said in his typical uninterested tone, in spite of the context of his words. "In that scenario, you are facing the obliteration of Suna." 

Several pairs of eyes set on the young genius. Naruto's wasn't one of them. The blonde's eyes were firmly fixed on the ground between his feet, his hair masking his expression. Kankuro didn't need to see in order to know. He was sure he's be met by the same haunted look that had settled in his brother's eyes while he was trying to make amends with his past.

"Even _this_ is risky without Yamato-taicho around." Shikamaru continued. "The Hokage has set up a plan back in Konoha. It's good for Naruto to get a sense of the basics from someone who had been there, but do not mistake this for training. Or we are all in trouble." 

The Nara boy had a good point there. The blonde's chakra was unstable; a fluffy bunny and the big, badass Fox was going to devour it. Power of this magnitude did not come without a price. A seal, one's soul and mind or- in the case of Sasori and Orochimaru- even one's body. 

"The Kyuubi said that it won't interfere until I'm done with my training." Naruto mumbled, not sounding entirely sure about all this after Shikamaru's account.

"Even if that were true, tapping into the Kyuubi's power is likely to be a source for unfortunate events until you can master control over it." Gaara's eyes looked rather haunted, even as his countenance betrayed no emotion. "Never take the word of a demon, though. They are old, temperamental and unlikely to feel bound by promises to mere mortals. Remember that."

Kankuro watched his little brother. Or, perhaps, watched _over_ him was a better term. Sukaku had been a curse, but now- without the Ichibi- Gaara was not as powerful as he once had been. Shikamaru's words had only been an echo of his own constant mental reminders. It hadn't been long enough that he _really_ had the chance to be an older brother to him and already he had failed in his duty to protect him- not just his little brother, his _Kazekage_ as well. He had had to follow the trail of his chipping flesh in the desert, had to be there to see him dead- more lifeless than his dolls had ever been. 

A hand brushed his. 

Temari's hands were rough and calloused and strong. The hands of a true fighter. And like her hands, her manners often betrayed her hard life as a ninja. She was not openly affectionate, choosing to taunt or antagonize people on their way to facing their situation. She would not pat anyone's shoulder and say it's gonna be okay, but rather mock how weak and unbecoming their resolve is, until they got pissed off enough to get back on their feet. Right then, she was gracing him with one of her rare smiles.

Naruto frowned in an attempt to focus. "This is _too_ hard, 'ttebayo!" he complained. 

"You are _trying_ too hard." Gaara's deadpan tone could drive anyone insane. 

Another good thing about puppets- not _dolls_- was that they couldn't speak. He had expanded previous research- more so after the Sasori incident- in order to perfect his dolls, but it was never about making them more life-like- just stronger. Even if there was a way for them to speak, he'd be damned if he ever used it. Last thing he wanted was his puppets to talk back, be smartass, have an opinion or something to that effect. In addition, anything that one can communicate with, one emotionally invests on. Big no-no.

Shikamaru sighed. "If something goes wrong, just let us handle it…" he muttered, his eyes drifting towards the city. Ino and Chouji were closing in on them wearing rather sober expressions. He frowned.

"You should talk to her." Temari said, still watching Naruto and Gaara.

The comment earned her a confused look from Shikamaru. "About what?"

She scoffed. "You can't _possibly_ be that clueless, can you?"

Even it was a deprecating comment, Kankuro could hear the insecurity in his sister's voice. Shikamaru let it slide off of him, probably figuring that any further discussion on this would be _troublesome_. He hadn't even used that trademark observation since the training started. Kankura took that to mean he was tense. His attention returned to Gaara, who was watching Naruto closely. Speaking of tense, not many could tell, but Kankuro could sense his brother's nervousness. 

Ino stepped up next to Shikamaru. "How is he doing?"

"He's… troublesome." he responded dryly, the usual complaining tone nowhere to be found in his voice. 

"That's our Naruto…" Choji noted with a small smile that somehow had a relaxing effect on his teammates.

Puppets could break after a calculated enemy attack or if their master was negligent enough to sprawl them around carelessly and be slothful in maintaining them. Anything worth having, demanded its due attention and care. Humans were like that too. They had weak spots, soft spots, blind spots. They could crack after an enemy attack, or because their needs were not seen to… when they were tossed aside. More often than not, though, people cracked from the inside out and the enemy was not always tangible, visible or foreseeable. 

Gaara's teal eyes widened suddenly. He was going to ask what was the matter, but then he felt it. All of them felt it. 

The damper that regulated the Kyuubi's chakra started to collapse, much like a seam torn apart, and the vile, ferocious chakra flowed forth. Naruto was coated in a red aura that looked like a Fox's shadow and fell on his hands and knees with a growl. The world stood still for a moment and then everything became animated like a puppet show.

Shikamaru used his _Kage Nui jutsu_ forcing his shadow to whip tightly around Naruto and, with a single shared look, Choji's hands grew into two enormous palms to closed around the blonde. The air smelled of scorched flesh as the flaring chakra burned the boy's hands. Neither jutsu was going to restrain him, but the combination of the two gave Gaara enough time to perform an intricate sealing technique they had found in the scrolls. It was supposed to be a reversal technique, in case Ichibi ever overpowered him. 

Kankuro felt useless, but, in spite of his zeal to help, he knew that unless one could help, the next best thing was to stay out of the way of those who could. He placed a hand on his sister's arm and pulled her back a little, giving more space, so that the people who could help would not have to worry about sideline casualties. 

"Something is not right…" 

Though the words were uttered by Temari, they mirrored in everyone's mind. The red chakra was receding, but not without causing damage. And if Naruto's screams were any indication, it was a lot of damage. Damned if he did and damned if he didn't, Gaara finished the sealing. The blonde's body went limp, due to exhaustion and fatigue. Shikamaru released him and Choji set him down carefully to Ino's care. The girl started using her healing chakra on his wounds, not missing a beat. She looked up to assess her teammate's hands; they looked horrible.

"See to him first." was all Choji said, to his credit with a straight face, as though his hands were not blistering. 

Ino's lips were a thin line. "Shikamaru."

He nodded. "I'm on it." He assured her and reached into Ino's pack for the first aid kit. The antiseptic he used made Choji finally wince. Shikamaru started to bandage his friend's hands to prevent an infection. "What happened?" he asked, without looking up. 

It was clear enough who he was addressing. The chuunin's tone had been very careful and composed, otherwise it would have sounded as though he was accusing the Kazekage for his friends' condition. His position dictated discretion and respect, but the times that he had been this apparently tense had been few and far in between. 

Gaara himself looked very much exhausted and quite dejected. "I did exactly what the scroll said." was all he could muster up to say. "Why would…?"

It was times like those that the Kazekage seemed like a little, lost boy to his brother. And it was then that Kankuro could see all the real differences between a man and his puppets. Humans could cracks even if the attack of that unforeseeable force was not against them per se, but one that they love. 

"Maybe this procedure was never created to protect the demon vessel." He finaly said, drawing all looks-in varying degrees of disbelief- on him. It did little to deter his next words. "It makes sense. More than anyone, Gaara, you and he know that there was no love lost for the Jinchuuriki back then. All that mattered was that if things got out of hand, there was a way to contain it before it wrecked havoc with the village."

Puppets were never shocked.

Different hues of dread and guilt touched Gaara's eyes. The rest seemed to digest it a lot easier than him. But then again-

- puppets had no family that would betray them-

- it had been his father who had come up with the reversal idea on the scroll. 

Puppets felt no guilt.

"I will escort you back to the village, myself." Gaara said after a moment, composing himself. "I need to have a word with Tsunade-sama with regards to deciphering these scrolls."

Kankuro smirked at his brother. "You and Temari are just looking for an excuse to get out away from Suna. Next time is my turn." He said and was happy to get a small smirk in return. "Naruto will be fine. He always pulls through." He said a bit lower, for the ears of his brother alone. Then he started to walk away. "Until then, I'll entertain your fangirls."

Temari frowned. "Where are you going?"

He paused. "Gaara said he's going to Konoha, right? Someone has to let the village Elders know… and trip them on their way to stop the Kazekage from leaving." He sighed dramatically. "The dirty work always falls on me."

He could tell without turning to look that Temari was smiling a bit and that the rest of the Konoha ninjas, though still worried, might be just a little less tense. 

Puppets could not crack jokes or comfort anyone, but they were great teachers in their own trade. They had taught him that being a puppeteer- or a _Puppet Master_ as he preferred to address himself- was not just about knowing how to bond his chakra with his puppets. 

Above all else, a puppeteer is an entertainer… even if his audience is often too afraid to laugh.

* * *

That was Chappie 16. Sorry for the delay… The last line comes from something Voltaire once said [I think. "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh"… gives me the chills each time I come across it.

Anyway, I love how it all turned out, so I hope you like it. Next one is Hinata's pov[kisses, Insomniac!. ;-) 

Love you all!

Ja!

M. 


	17. Ebb 9: I Spy

**A/N: **Hey, everyone… how you doin'? :-D I can't believe This story made it to Chappie 17… Some of you may be wondering- and some pmed me about it, so I thought I'd discuss it here jic more than _some of you_ wonder, lol- if it's going somewhere… it is, but this is more of a journey than destination story. What I mean is, every story needs a beginning, a middle and an ending and this one has that, but it's mostly about what people thought, felt and shared in between. As ever, thank you all for reading, extra thanks for taking the time to review.

Many thanks to my anon readers: **Kakashi's Dog **Thank you thank you! . I hope you like my take on Hinata. :-D and **Mira-chan** LOL! What a compliment. Hehehe Thank you

PS. **TWNJ** – sweetie, I promise you this is not a small chapter. LOL

**Disclaimer:** I own an empty bottle of aspirins… who the hell knew Hinata was such a challenge to write?? ;-D

* * *

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Ebb 9: _I Spy…_

Most things in life are there for people to watch, not to experience. That was a lesson hard to stomach. Life was- thankfully, frightfully- too short for someone to experience everything. That was another lesson, one's reaction to which depended on personal experience. Because the idea that one cannot have what another has or not- looks, wealth, health, opportunities- was a fountain of emotions for most people. Because humans would always want to be _participants_ in what's good and _spectators_ in what's tragic- gravitating between the former and the latter throughout their lives. And yet there were some rare cases that one might _choose_ to watch- _choose_ the part of the spectator. Most times it was the easy choice- because it was _difficult_ to be in the spotlight, she couldn't stand the lights' glare- but for her it had often seemed like the only one.

Hyuuga Hinata knew that she was under no obligation to do _this_, other than her own sense of dignity. And because she cared- and, unlike what most might think, spectators _did_ care, they just didn't act on their affections. Emotions would always spring action and through just about anyone in life's arena, forcing them to act. As time went by, she had noticed that any regret she had had stemmed from _not acting _when she felt she had to. Not speaking up when her father would belittle what she could do. Letting Neji drift away after his father's death. Not being strong enough to protect _him._ Back in the days she had watched _them_- watched them connect, watched their bond evolve and it was beautiful, really- and then she had to watch _him_ strive, with everything he had, to retrieve what all of his friends had considered lost. She had watched _him_ defy any odds to _act_… to _achieve_. He would never stand idly and watch. He would never look down and simply accept. He… was surreal to her.

The braches replied with small, whining altos to her graceful, silent leaps as she delved deeper into the forest- Byakugan activated- for what should look like a battlefield.

It wasn't cowardice that put someone in the role of the _watcher_, inadvertently shaping their attitude towards things in life and life itself. It was their nature- quiet and accepting. Sometimes she thought it was intriguing, how her entire bloodline of Byakugan users, were in fact spectators, like her… like Neji. The mind would do its most unpredictable tricks in times of worry such as this, because suddenly all she could think about was that game that her cousin had taught her, long before either of them could use the Byakugan. It was perhaps a childish mock to their elders who would think too much of themselves for being able to use it. It gave her a measure of personal accomplishment that, although her and Neji were the clan's _ascending_ _stars_, they had not become them.

_I spy with my little eye… _Something dark and questionable.

Uchiha Sasuke and Hatake Kakashi were sparring. The sheer devastation in the site around them and the amount of debris betrayed that their session would have been a sight to behold, had she gotten there earlier. The two Sharingan users stood a respectable distance from each other, sword and kunai dawn in alert postures. She wondered if their breathing was as loud as it echoed in her ears or if it was the eerie silence. Her lavender eyes returned to normal and set on the Uchiha. She remembered those first weeks that he had been back and allowed around Konoha- with either of his escorts; he had seemed _inhuman_ almost. Otherworldly and untouchable, cold and dark- maybe far too messed up to be saved. And yet he would shed that skin so easily around _him_- just like everybody else. Around _him, _he was human. The first time she saw the Uchiha smile in response to one of _his_ outrageous comments, she thought that she somewhat understood what _he _had been fighting for with such zest.

_I spy with my little eye…_ The rising cloud of frustration.

Not a particularly good thing, considering the news she had taken it upon herself to deliver. Both men looked past exhausted, their chakra burned out, other than fickle bursts. She was fairly certain that their resolve to still stand, their refusal to just collapse on the charred grass beneath their feet, was fuelled by pure stubbornness. The landscape around them looked like the ground zero of an explosion. She doubted that guess was too far from fact.

"With all due respect, I would suggest that you end this before your chakra system caves in on itself." she said in a soft, but resolute tone. She was years away from the timid academy student everyone seemed to remember and still saw her as. Not enough watchers in Konoha. Not good ones anyway.

Both men turned to her, as she landed a few feet from them, in equal amounts of surprise. Whether it was because she had startled them or the context of her words, her spy's eye really could not tell. Because as well as one can learn to observe, there were always some people that one would never see through. And such were both men in her presence.

"Hinata." Kakashi greeted amicably. "You are a long way from Konoha."

Hinata felt more than saw Sasuke's eyes bear on her. Her guess would be that he was figuring she was the bearer of a missive of some sort. "Kakashi-sensei…" she started and, with a nod, Sasuke turned to walk away and offer them privacy. He was probably used to such by now, every time Tsunade would send someone with a message for his guardian. "Uchiha-san. Please. I need to talk to you both."

The dark boy's brows furrowed over his eyes. He shared a look with Kakashi, who appeared equally mystified by this. They held each others' gaze for a moment and it seemed as if they had traded entire pages of dialogue and reached a conclusion. Hinata respected Kakashi immensely. And as for Sasuke... Sasuke was _his_ best friend. She noted that both men were quietly waiting for her to go on.

"Naruto-kun was brought in-"

"_Brought_ in?" Sasuke jumped at the verb.

_I spy with my little eye_... A storm. The shift in the- to that point- dismissive boy surprised her. His uninterested eyes were suddenly animated and livid.

Kakashi put up a silencing hand. "It's not polite to interrupt a lady, Sasuke." he mock-scolded. "Please, Hinata. Continue."

"Naruto-kun was hurt during his mission in Suna. He will remain at the hospital for a day or two… at least that's what Ino said." she explained, watching Sasuke's knuckles turn white as he clenched his fists at his side. "I thought you should know."

"That was very considerate of you." Kakashi said, watching her. The silver haired jounin was himself a marvellous spy. She wondered what he saw. "Well, we are done here for today. If you allow us, we will escort you back to Konoha. It's getting late."

"Kakashi." Sasuke was glaring kunai at him.

"Once there, we can all go and check in on Naruto." he finished, ignoring the Uchiha entirely. "Assuming his supervising physician thinks it's a good idea."

"Hai." she smiled a little. Worry lessened when it was shared, same as any burden.

They set out for Konoha in silence. Hinata had never really considered Sasuke to be a watcher per se, as he was always versed on doing something; even when it was clearly not in his best interest; even when he hurt those who loved him the most. And yet he hadn't taken his eyes off her since she had delivered the news. Perhaps, he figured that he could fathom how serious things were, if he could measure her unsettlement. Perhaps, in that respect- in that they both cared- they were alike. Unlike Sasuke, though, it seemed that her feelings for the blonde had remained unrequited.

"Have you seen him?" he asked with poorly concealed agitation.

"No." she stole a glance at him. He looked worried. "Ino gave me the news. I came to you first. It's what Naruto-kun would have wanted… ne?"

His jawline tightened, lips thinning. "Aah." He said quietly.

It really wouldn't help to convey what she _heard_ either. News traveled fast and- for the most part- inaccurate in Konoha, so when the news of Naruto being rushed to the Konoha hospital hit the gossip fan, they spread unevenly. The story varied from being carried by the Kazekage or being carried by the Kazekage's most trusted ninjas to being hunted by the Kazekage all the way to the hospital. The Kazekage-part though was a constant so she did believe that Gaara was there.

They entered Konoha and skipped over the rooftops, making a shortcut to their destination. It occurred to her that her sense of decency and her affections made her a world-class masochist. Because no-one would ever matter to Naruto as much as Sasuke did and, by her actions, she was conceding to that. It was hard to digest, harder to watch and impossible to just let go and move on from. Mainly because she didn't want to. She had always watched the blonde from afar… it was natural to her as breathing was to the next person.

She walked into the hospital behind Kakashi, showing due respect to his position as a Jounin and an elder. His pace forced them in tactful steps, in respect of the sick and the late hour. The nightshift nurse seemed to appreciate that and pointed them to his room. That and maybe Kakashi's charming ways too.

Hospitals were horrible.

She walked down the corridor in those measured steps, even as it felt like her racing heart was about to jump out of her chest and rush ahead of her. Her eyes slipped to the Uchiha beside her now and then, who had been utterly silent after his question to her. His face was unreadable. Somehow he managed to look posh even though his hair was disheveled and his clothes sweat-soaked.

They rounded the corner to the room and found Sakura exiting, looking quite exhausted. Her teal eyes focused questioning on Sasuke and Kakashi. "What are you guys doing here? It's late."

"It's Naruto." Kakashi shrugged.

"How is he?" Sasuke asked, his eyes searching her face for clues to her answer before she even had voiced it.

"Naruto will be fine." She said, slightly aggravated by the demanding tone, then her featured softened. "Apparently there was an accident involving some training he did in Suna. The Kazekage is here to discuss the events with Tsunade-sama." The pink-haired girl tried to suppress a yawn. "In fact, I'm late reporting to her, so-"

"I will be joining you, while these two visit Naruto for a bit, if that's okay with you, Sakura." Kakashi said, his visible eyes curving to that crescent that suggested he was smiling.

Sakura grimaced. "Visiting hours are over… but I suppose you guys can visit for a while. He won't be up long."

Sasuke frowned. "Is he really that hurt?"

"No, he's just really that _drugged_." An evil smile crawled to her lips. "The little twerp will sleep, whether he wants it or not."

Hinata's eyes must have widened, because the other girl caught herself and sobered up. Kakashi and Sasuke were staring at her positively disturbed as well, but she appeared immune to that. She really would never really get the inner workings of Team 7 no matter how long she watched. Things in her team flowed easily. Though at first look unlikely, her, Kiba and Shino had been a perfect match. The perfect tracker team. A team of observers with honed ninja skills. Even Kiba, who was rather on the loud side, knew how to watch and calculate the moment. She could tell by the way his eyes would narrow, only slightly, and his expression would become blank, rivaling Shino's. She hadn't really got the _blank_-part quite right. Kiba could not really figure out what fucked up balance kept Team 7 together either. Shino had offered his opinion. It was then that she had decided she had preferred not knowing.

"Well then… shall we go?" Kakashi said, pulling out his Icha Icha book and tracing his current chapter.

"Sensei, you could at least _fake_ worry." Sakura admonished as they started down the corridor towards the Hokage's office. She turned to the two for a moment. "No fights in there, Sasuke-_kun_- I mean it. You two be quiet or else… And don't stay out in the corridor while sensei is not with you." then she smiled and waved. "It was nice seeing you, Hinata."

"You too." She replied rather uncertainly, watching the Jounin walk alongside his ex-student, faking innocence at whatever she was accusing him of. After a moment, she turned her attention to Sasuke who was having a staring match with the door handle. The door handle wasn't giving in any time soon. "Uchiha-san?"

"There are better hobbies than visiting the hospital every week or so…" he muttered, then added more softly. "Usuratonkachi…"

Hinata wasn't sure why he was saying that. She wasn't even sure he knew he had said that _out loud_, but there was nothing she could say in response- nor did he wait as he turned the door knob.

"After you." He said, rather graciously waiting for her to step in before him. He closed the door behind him soundlessly. The room was dark, illuminated only by the light of the rising moon. "You go first."

Well _that _was certainly unexpected. "I-"

"Thanks for telling me. Us." He stopped her, meeting her eyes. The look was not soft or open, yet no less honest. "I… appreciate it." And with that, he leaned against the door.

After a moment, she nodded and made her way to the bed that Naruto was resting. His eyes were closed and she had to wonder if the drugs had already taken effect.

"Hey…"

Out of the corner of her eyes, Hinata saw Sasuke bound out of his spot, somewhat edgy, but made no move to join them. "N-Naruto-kun…" she started- and _damn_ she hated it when she stuttered. She never could fight off this effect he had on her. "H-how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine…" the blonde blinked, trying to focus, but failing, his voice hoarse. The drugs were apparently taken effect. "I must have dozed off or somethin'…"

"You should rest…" she said with a smile, sitting on the edge of his bed. A blush dusted her cheeks and she was thankful for the darkness. "I was worried… I… I-I mean…" she blushed furiously and more so when he reached out to feel her forehead- missing her twice and slapping his hand against it a little too hard in his state. Not many people would pin grace on Uzumaki Naruto.

"You feel warm. Do you have a fever again?" he inquired a bit sleepily, feeling his own forehead for comparison. "I'll talk to Baa-chan… you're always so sickly."

That much naivety was probably too much for Sasuke. "Che… you're _such_ a Dobe."

Naruto's eyes widened at the sound of that voice, the cobalt brightening so much it hurt her to look directly at. She rose, physically taking a step back for the Uchiha to join them. The gesture didn't go by unnoticed by Sasuke. He stepped in closer, the moon highlighting an expression that encompassed annoyance as well as relief.

"Teme, I was only checking her temperature." The blonde fended and turned to Hinata. "Really, you need to take better care. A fever can spike and be dangerous. Ask Sakura-chan if you don't believe me."

"Of course I believe you, Naruto-kun…" her voice was soft.

Something flashed in Sasuke's eyes, that very much resembled sympathy as he looked at her. But in the blink of an eye it was gone, leaving her to wonder if it was ever even there or if it was all in her head.

"Ne… nanda?" Naruto was as clueless as he looked.

Sasuke flicked his forehead, sending him back on the bed. "What happened to you this time, Dobe? Tripped on one of your frogs or something?"

Even in his state, the flick made Naruto's temper flare up. "Quit doing that, Teme." He glared, then blinked slowly as the drugs overcame his temper. "And quit saying stupid stuff like that."

"Quit _doing_ stupid stuff like that." Sasuke panned back.

"Whatever, Teme…" he rolled his eyes, then stretched. "You're jus' as bad…'f not war… worse. Damn, I feel sl'py..."

_I spy…_Her mind started, but the thought was never formed, because this was not a game.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Then _sleep_, Usuratonkachi."

"_You_ sleep." Naruto attempted to glare.

The Uchiha had to glare at that.

Hinata watched the two argue, having that weird- familiar- feeling of fading into the background of things. She marveled at how easily everything flowed between the two boys- with no discriminating lines between contention and connection. Either, or could have a more relaxing effect on the blonde than any medication a doctor could administer. Through the years, she had to watch how Sasuke had become Naruto's only need. How the Uchiha's return- his bond with him- had become interwoven with any dream the blonde had. How he refused to dream again until his best friend was back. For all her observation though, she had not seen what the raven had done to deserve this kind of loyalty.

Naruto mumbled something unintelligible as he slowly- finally- dozed off.

And then she saw it. Sasuke didn't say goodnight or even demonstrated any worry or care for the blonde's state. He simply waited, staring as Naruto drifted to his much needed sleep. When he started to snore, the dark boy smiled softly and reached down to pull Naruto's blanket further up and better cover him. Sasuke was not a man of words, but his actions spoke for him.

"You never show him that side of yours when he's awake." She observed.

Her ability to blend in the background must have been better than she had suspected, because he looked up at her, startled. He quickly looked away, dropping the blanket, and moved further from the bed, as though trying to physically put some distance between her comment and his actions. "Naruto knows… me."

Hinata stepped closer to the bed and finished tucking the blanket up. She didn't challenge his words- it wasn't her place- but simply watched the dark boy trying to deny- defy- the obvious. Instead it had always been another question that she had always wanted to ask and her observation skills had never yielded the answer to it. "How did you step out of your brother's shadow?"

Sasuke blinked a moment, somewhat taken aback by the question. To her surprise, he did not get defensive or walk out with a shark remark. He sat on the edge of the bed and considered it. "I didn't."

That wasn't the answer she had expected or hoped for. She took a deep breath. "Did you… hate him for it?"

His brows twitched to a deeper frown, then smoothened again. "It's hard to remember a time that I did not hate Itachi… sometimes I can barely remember life before the massacre." he said quietly, tensing up more than a bit. "I… didn't. Back then… I wanted to _be_ him."

It was sad. "I'm sorry." She said honestly. She hadn't meant for any of this to take a turn like that. "I didn't think you'd answer." Then again she hadn't meant to say this out loud.

Sasuke smirked. "I don't think you will tell anyone." His charcoal eyes fell on Naruto again.

"Sometimes I don't know what to do." She sighed. Really, she didn't think he'd be telling anyone either.

His smirked turned into a small smile, whether it was because of her words or because the blonde scrunched his nose all of the sudden, as if he smelled something vile, she couldn't tell. "Are we still talking about your family… or him?"

Lavender eyes widened so much it hurt, a pink hue glowing on her cheeks in the dark. "Y-you know?" and _there_ was the stuttering again. As long as she didn't twiddle her fingers, she could still save face.

"Everyone, but _him_ knows." Sasuke scoffed at the blonde. "Stupid Dobe… how is he even a ninja with observation skills like that?"

"Naruto-kun is just naïve that way." And she was _twiddling_… Hinata gave up on trying to save face and sat at the edge of the bed, not too far from the raven.

"'ro-sen-niiin… Idon'wannareadyourfreakin'pornanyway…" Naruto mumbled in his sleep, earning two ogling stares his way.

Sasuke shook the surprise out of his face. "He's a _Dobe_ is what he is."

"The bed is usually reserved for the sick." The door creaked further open to reveal Kakashi. "Yo!" he greeted.

"Kakashi-sensei." She said getting to her feet. "Is the meeting already over?"

"Yes… but if you kids need more time I can come back." Be said off-handedly.

The blush was back again, full blast and she wasn't even sure she wanted to know what Kakashi was implying. As usual though it was something phrased innocently enough to plausibly deny. "N-no, that-"

"Your manners are impeccable as ever, Kakashi." Sasuke's voice was dripping with sarcasm, saving her from a line of mumbled attempts to explain that would probably be used against them. "But it won't be necessary. The Dobe is asleep."

"Good." Kakashi's visible eyes crinkled with mischief. "Tsunade-sama wanted to have a word with me about your unauthorized presence here."

The dark boy narrowed his eyes at his ex-mentor. "Did she." He said, not really asking.

"Oh yes." The jounin nodded innocently. "Apparently your presence here in your current condition compromises the hospital's hygiene."

This time Sasuke blushed. Hinata had to bite her lip to avoid smiling as he tentatively sniffed at his clothes and grimed. He walked up to Kakashi. "I need to have a word with you when we return to the mansion."

"You are making that scary face again, Sasuke." Kakashi said, faking fright.

They were about to walk out when they realized that Hinata wasn't following them.

"Are you staying?" sasuke asked, his voice sounding disinterested.

She nodded with a meek smile. "Just a while longer." She said and watched as Sasuke nodded- with something like appreciation or envy or another nameless emotion- and turned to walk away. Just as he was about to close the door, she spoke again. "You are nothing like my cousin had described."

He paused for a moment and smirked. "You are not your cousin."

She smiled back and as the door closed, she was alone with the one person she wanted to and was terrified to be alone with the most. Because like Sasuke had noted, Naruto's observation skills were horrible. But she could live with that… as long as she watched him being happy.

It really wasn't cowardice that made someone a spectator. It was their nature- quiet and accepting- and the thing they feared the most.

In the case of Hyuuga Hinata, that one thing was _herself_. Not that she was a monster or even that the burden of expectations and frustrations might make her snap- because the human mind is a frail, complex thing and sometimes all it took was a straw to break the camel's back. Hinata was afraid that she was not- and would never be- good enough. Never good enough to meet anyone's expectations- including her own. Neji had once told her that she was being too hard on herself and that she really was very good. Shino had taken it several steps further and said that she was better than anyone- including herself, or perhaps especially her- realized.

She sighed, her eyes falling on the sleeping form of the blonde boy. She watched him- sprawled all over the bed, face twitching and relaxing following the scenes of whatever he dreamt of, muttering softly things she couldn't make out, golden strands stroking his face like she had often fantasized doing herself. She watched and wondered if, perhaps, being a man of action had made Naruto blind to observation. Because Hinata had always worn her feelings for him on her sleeve and all she had ever wanted had been the same thing he, himself, had relentlessly demanded of Sasuke.

To be recognized.

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End of Chappie. Wow… it took me days of editing… probably the hardest chapter I've written, so I hope you like… Hinata is the sweetest thing in the Naruniverse, but _a bitch and a half_ to write. She's so difficult… probably because she's pretty stereotyped and not used merely enough. I love Team 8… :-D Especially Shino… another character that needs a chapter.. lol I'm neglectful.

Hope you guys enjoy waves to **Insomniac **who really likes Hinata. Next one… I'm not sure about it. Either Ino and a party gone wrong or Naruto and working on the shounen-ai a bit more. Lemme know if you have a preference. Till then, kisses and huggies!

Ja!

M.


	18. Tide 9: Yume Ka

**A/N: **And the chappie iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis… A SasuNaru Tide. _Yume_ means 'dream' for those of you who can't speak Japanese after almost 300 episodes of Naruto… well… 200 for those of you who never got trapped into the dreaded Filler Web. Brrr.. _Yume ka _is what Naruto says after his dream of the Kyuubi… meaning "It was a dream"…Thank you all who read, extra smooches to those of you who take the time to review. This is the first chappie that I've written anything openly erotic so I hope you guys like it. Ummm, that's it for the general introduction I think… Tons and tons of thanks to **TWNJ** for taking the time to beta and help me out with my dilemmas and her patience and suggestions on what feels off… and did I mention patience? Tons of it. :-D Muchos muahs sweetie!

Now to my anonymous readers:** Kakashi's Dog** -Thank you! My mind works in weird weird ways. LOL Hope you like the SasuNaru chappie… not sure it's quite as unexpected as the previous one.. **Insomniac **– It really means a lot that you liked the Hinata chapter, since she is your fav character. She has never been a fangirl and she has also had to fight to be recognized for her potential. I think Sasuke would respect that… at least the way I see him. And I agree that being a spectator is not a flaw… I actually think it's very difficult a lot of the time… And it's cool that you look like her, she's so cute! :-D

**Disclaimer:** I own great amounts of patience, because I actually DID watch the entire filler arc… :waves fist of righteous fury: …. I can hear you all thinking "SUCKER!"… damn.

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 9: _Yume ka…_

_It was all too new. _

_To be touched for the sheer pleasure of it. _

_To draw the next breath__ only to savor this moment a little longer._

_He wasn't too sure if his eyes were open, because everything was melting in a daze of colors and sensations. His body was unused to the ministration s it was receiving- tentative and pleasurable, yet intentionally slow and savoring. It was exasperating and he could see one real venue to take out his frustration. That mouth, for starters._

_His lips molded against__ paler ones, somewhat lacking in technique but compensating in raw passion. The kisses were rather sloppy- and that was fine with him, because they felt even more real. Because it affirmed that those supple lips had not been trained by another. That no one had experienced that strange and distinct taste of his mouth- mostly sweet, yet somewhat copperish; and that made sense, because the other man had always been full of dichotomies. _

_Intimately aroused__, the other man looked even more splendid and perfect than he had previously thought possible. The dark hair clang to the pale skin- now flushed and glistening with beads of sweat in the pale moonlight- forming intricate patterns on the side of his face and down his neck almost merging with the obscure markings. For a few moments, it was all he could do to stare at him, attempting to imprint the image in his mind. It was impossible for any creature to be so immaculate and still be real. _

_The man__ smirked down at him, pinning his hands over his head. Those hands felt very real and strong around his wrists, demanding attention and submission. Yet how could one trap the willing? There was no place he would rather be than that bed- in the quiet of the mansion, transgressed only by the sound of labored breathing, groans and soft moans- and this moment that almost seemed suspended in time. _

_All thought was lost to the sensation of the other man's tongue his lips. It wasn't a gentle moist nudge either. His lips were parted, the kiss deepening fast with a newfound vehemence- almost as though the next kiss was more vital than the next breath. The fervor was intoxicating and very much contagious. And it was getting increasingly obvious to him, increasingly fast, that it wasn't enough. _

_His hand rum__maged through the soft hair that slid through his rough fingers like expensive silk, his mouth and tongue explored that arched, inviting neck. _

_His lips hovered over the seal-that marring mark that spoke so loud of everything that had separated them. His cobalt eyes narrowed and, before he could stop himself, he bit down on it- hard. The moan it received from the dark man was all too satisfying. It __**should**__ hurt. It had certainly caused enough suffering. _

_Even so, he was never one to enjoy the look of pain,__ so he soothed the bite with his lips and tongue. He was also never one to really step down from a challenge, so when the other man moved to pin him again, he rolled and switched places. The fight was short, because, for all his pompous poise, the dark man found a sense of relief in surrendering. _

_His heart beat faster as he drank the image of the man underneath him- pale, even against the white sheet, other than the rosy hue he seemed to get in the throws of passion. The silky curtain of raven hair had slid back to expose his face- and it was heart-stopping to receive a look of such need and desire, open and vulnerable. How could anyone measure up to that? _

_The idea that he was the one responsi__ble for that, awoke something almost animalistic in him, his hands roaming over the pale body beneath him, his mouth covering it with bites and kisses. The dark man groaned in response, clearly reading his mood and easily- wordlessly- adapting to it, himself becoming rather rough. True to the competitive flair their relationship had always had, each touch became more demanding, nails digging into the flesh, leaving behind angry markings now and then where the hands traveled. The sheer sense of friction as their bodies grinded against each other, the natural lubricant their sweat provided, was maddening. _

_A warm feeling was pooling in his stomach- almost ticklish from the inside, but it didn't make him laugh, just about driving him insane, but making him more aware than he ever had been that he was alive. _

"_What are you looking at, Dobe?"_

_Now __**he**__ was the one to smirk. 'Dobe' didn't quite sound the same when uttered in that breathless voice, looked at through half-lidded dark eyes. "You…" was all he could say._

_He reached down to cup that perfect face and his smirk faded to a soft smile that was full of gratitude and affection. Neither was too good with saying things out loud, but, to him, there was at least one word that felt sacred on his lips- that stole his breath or breathed new life into him- and that was his name. It always felt like velvet, rolling it in his mouth. _

_He traced those pale, moist lips with his thumb. The other man easily captured his finger and sucked on it, dark eyes bearing heavy on him with suggestion. That was enough foreplay._

_He moaned. "Sasuke…" _

Naruto propped up on his bed with a startle, soaking in sweat. "What the hell…?" he panted.

Summer in Konoha could make tailed demons break a sweat, but that wasn't _entirely_ the cause of all that perspiration or his flustered skin. The dream had been too vivid and there was no mistaking in who it had revolved around- even if actually _saying_ that name hadn't startled him out of his sleep. The raven black hair had been a hint. The pale skin, further narrowed the possible candidates. But those charcoal eyes were unmistakable. Even if there was another person on this earth that had such dark, dark eyes, there was no mistaking the signature intensity. Naruto had always- privately- thought that there was something unique and unparalleled about those eyes that was distinctively Sasuke.

He had no idea where that dream had come from. All he knew was that it had felt _good_. _Too_ good.

And it wasn't supposed to.

Because the dream had involved another _man_. Because said other man was his _best_ _friend_.

Instinctively, both hands came up to cover his eyes, as though shielding his sight from what had played out in his sleeping mind. He became aware of two things, shortly after. One, that- mortified as he felt to admit it- his _entire _body had reacted to the dream. And, two, there was an insistent background noise that he had barely started to register.

The persistent rapping on his door forced the last cobwebs of slumber out of his mind.

In the three days that he had been out of the hospital there had always been an early visitor. First day, it had been Iruka- and that was touching because he had been worried and made him breakfast. The second day it had been Sakura- and that was kind of her, checking in on him before going to the hospital, because she also saved him the trouble of going in himself later. He couldn't think who it could be this time, but he was determined to graciously make his interaction with them short as possible.

"Com…" he bit his lip at the unintended pun. "Coming."

He limped to the door, keeping a sheet tightly around him, cursing the heat that had him sleeping in his boxer shorts. When he opened the door, though, and faced his visitor, he felt the blood drain from his face- doing a spectacular leap from flushed red to ashen white- and a chill ran down his spine. This was too soon. Immediately, he tried to close the door again.

"What are you doing, Dobe?" Sasuke frowned, holding the door open.

"I… uh…" he gawked. "Going back to sleep." He sputtered and tried to shut the door again, only to be pushed back as the Uchiha let himself in. "Do you _mind_, Teme?"

Sasuke might as well have not heard him. "Are you sick?"

"What?" he asked confused, closing the door.

The raven assessed him, making him feel as though thousand-legged bugs were crawling all over him. The bug-alternative being eliminated, as there weren't any on him that he could see, it occurred to him that it was his nerves, plain and simple. Naruto pulled the sheet tighter in a near defensive manner. Then it cropped up to him that maybe _further_ outlining his _form_ was not the best idea considering his _condition_. Wasn't shock supposed to make _that_ go away? He avoided looking at the other boy, suddenly paranoid that what Sasuke had once said was true and ninjas who were close really _could_ read each other's mind.

Sasuke seemed to catch his odd disposition, because he arched a brow at him. "I said, are you sick?"

"No! I just want to sleep some more, that's all." He fended and started to make his way back to the bedroom. The bastard could let _himself_ out.

It was just a stupid dream. And dreams are not tangible like people are. One cannot reason with the randomness of the mind- and his mind had plenty of that to go around. Last week it was a bowl of ramen attacking him, this week it was Sasuke… and whatever the hell that was. He tried to think of anything _but_ that- like angry koalas, miso ramen with toppings of his choice, Sakura-chan… pink kangaroos playing shogi. _Anything_ would do. Preferably, something that would manage his other _issue_ as well. Kakashi in a thong.

Naruto cringed.

It was rather unlikely that his broad pallet of expressions had been lost to Sasuke, but the raven did have that annoying habit to beat around the bush, gathering his _information_, before actually addressing anything. He was a conniving bastard like that. "Were you sleeping or hibernating? I was knocking on your door for a while."

"_Banging_ on my door is more like it." he stepped into his room and sprawled on himself on the bed. "Besides I preferred my dream to you."

Sasuke, who had followed him into the room, smirked at that. The man was impossible to insult. "So I take it, your dream was more _interesting_ than eating ramen."

Naruto froze. "No- nothing interesting at all- it's just that _anything_ beats waking up to your face."

The words brought a series of flashbacks to his mind and he had to drop flat on the bed to hide his blush. Dreams and nightmares were strange things and often stretched far from sleep and into the waking life. The dreams one had for their life and their loved ones were the kind that one could bask in forever. The nightmares of loss and tragedy, on the other hand, one could never wake from.

"It _was_ an interesting dream." Sasuke sounded intrigued. Apparently, the blonde's not-too-discreet reaction had confirmed his suspicion rather than deny it. "What was it about?"

"None of your business, Teme." He spat and covered his head with the pillow just to show that he was no longer listening. How mature. "Go. Away."

The raven had taken the chitchat pill or something, though, because he sat on the bed, getting comfy, and continued undaunted. "Ah… it was one of _those_."

Naruto pulled the pillow tighter over his ears. "Not listening…"

"Was it Sakura?"

He peeked at his friend under the pillow. "What part of _go away_ did you not get?"

"Ino?" Sasuke didn't even bother with a reply. In fact he seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. "Not Temari, I hope. Shikamaru may be too lazy to kill you, but Gaara is not."

Naruto figured that this was some sort of twisted, karmic payback for all the times he had pestered people with questions. He wondered if it was to late to negotiate with whatever Kami may be the terms of his punishment. "Gaara is my friend. He wouldn't kill me."

"If I had a sister and you _touched_ her, I'd kill you." Sasuke replied offhandedly, then mercilessly went on. "Ten-Ten… no… It's not Kurenai, right? She's definitely out of _your_ league."

The blonde decided that his best friend was evil incarnate, there to make him miserable that already disturbing enough morning. "Teme, I swear, I might have spent years of my life trying to bring you back, but I _will_ kill you if you don't shut up and go away soon."

A part of him meant it too. This was frustrating. He needed time to recover from that horrid dream- and the fact that he was desperately trying to convince himself that it _was_ horrid and not pleasurable, stimulating, mind-numbing and such. He could really do without the proximity right about then.

"Anko? Better not… that one is a real headcase." Sasuke continued to ignore him. It was somewhat like water torture- the water would drip in the form of names until he cracked and spilled the beans. "Shizune?" his smile turned positively evil, just as soon as he was about to drip the last drop. "Tsunade? Maybe the _Baa-chan_ type does it best for you-"

"It wasn't a woman!" he growled. "Now, shut up and go!"

And honestly he was truly satisfied with himself, finally succeeding in shushing the other boy. He even felt like yelling 'hah!' at his prolonged silence. That was of course until he realized what he had just said. It hit him like _bonus_ water drops as Sasuke's tone carried a mischievous quality when he spoke next.

"It wasn't Shizune's _pig_, was it?"

Naruto jumped up and faced him, ears flaring. "It wasn't an animal- what short of _pervert_ are you to think like that?"

The fact that he was in his face didn't seem to phase Sasuke, but as Naruto realized how close their bodies were, he jumped back away. The raven watched him with those unfathomable eyes, most likely trying to decide between teasing or questioning him. He fidgeted under the stare. In the dream, Sasuke's eyes had been intense and animated- spoke in volumes of what he was thinking. Of what he _wanted_. Naruto considered the unreality of that, because, for the most part, the damn bastard was excellent at hiding when he wanted to.

The words _stubborn clam_ assembled as a definition for the raven and he leered at his our creativity. Which wasn't particularly good and easily misread as their discussion had been about his _dream_.

"So…" Sasuke smoothed his shirt, sounding so nonchalant that it had to be a crime. "…you had a dream about a guy."

_Mortified_ was no longer the word. "No, I didn't!"

Sasuke tilted his head watching him- always watching him. "It's someone I know, or you wouldn't get so defensive."

He _rued_ the moment he had opened his mouth and mentioned the dream and preferring it to his face. Because if he had just acted cool, this wouldn't be happening. The Uchiha liked riddles and he had presented him with one. He should have just said yes when Sakura's name had come up. He supposed that Jiraya had been right in saying that a man can only think with _one head_ at a time.

"You think I'd be less defensive if it was a guy I had never met before?" he groaned. "A guy is a guy."

The raven blinked slowly, taking a moment before smirking. "So. It _was_ a guy."

Foot in the mouth. He would never learn. Those verbal traps had been his downfall since his academy days. "Okay- fine, it was a stupid dream about some guy- and I blame it all on Ero-sennin and his perverted books and Kakashi –sensei."

Sasuke seemed amused and even relaxed his posture a little, having gotten an answer as to why the blonde was so uptight. "Who was it?"

Naruto blinked. "Who?"

"The guy."

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish several times, before shaking his head. "I am _not_ having this conversation with you!"

Again, a delicate eyebrow was arched at him. "Why?"

This time the Uchiha got the are-you-stupid look, quite rightfully, because he deserved it. "Because it was _a dream_ about _a guy_ and I. Don't. Want. To talk. About. _It_."

Whatever was going on in Sasuke's head, it seemed that he decided to switch gears. Naruto knew it even before the raven moved and his body tensed in anticipation of that next move. He hadn't expected that move to be literal, but, as it turned out, the Uchiha was in the mood to play.

For a few moments it felt as though he was back in the dream. Sasuke moved closer and leaned over him with that smirk of his- full of smugness and certainty- yet maintaining a casual air about himself. It was an obvious taunt and it shouldn't have affected him, but it did. They had been like that before- during training and sparing; they had even been closer than this, physically, and it was never awkward. But now the damn dream was too fresh in his mind and, looking up at Sasuke, his eyes noticed details usually lost to him as part of the familiar picture. He noticed that the dark hair seemed lavish and wondered if it was as soft as it had felt in the dream. He noticed that those dark eyes got a wicked gleam as he stared down at him gamely. He noticed that the pale skin was smooth other than the scars of training… or worse.

Naruto's eyes lingered on the curse seal. The mark of his self-abeyance seemed as ominous and malevolent as it had back then. Back then Sasuke had disappeared on them in the middle of the night, without a word other than a painful- and not just emotionally- goodbye to Sakura. Three years later he had disappeared in flames. That time the words they had exchanged had almost sounded hollow. Nothing had gotten through to him. Naruto had feared then- and only _then_, only for a while- that it was the end and Sasuke had been lost to them.

He had cried in despair.

Sasuke's beautiful eyes watched him carefully, apparently taking note of the nuisances of his expression. Whatever he saw there made his voice softer if only a bit. "What are you looking at, Dobe?"

Something in him did a somersault at that and he almost did say 'you'. "Ne… Sasuke?" he said very quietly.

"Mmm-hmmm?" the raven asked, never shiftinging from his position.

"Does it still hurt?" the words came out slightly more hesitant than he had expected, almost as though the question might make him disappear; almost as though he was never there in the first place. Almost like a fading dream.

But he didn't. Though the query was tentative, Sasuke's eyes narrowed a little. He followed the blonde's gaze for a moment, then his expression reassumed that quizzical quality. "Only if I overdo it. And that doesn't happen very easily… anymore."

Nauto reached up and traced it without really thinking, receiving a somewhat surprised reaction from Sasuke. The dark eyes moved to watch the fingers tracing his flesh a soft frown overcasting them. "Oh…"

Sasuke's breath felt very warm, very close to the blonde's cheek as he whispered. "Did you wish it hurt?"

His heart was beating too fast and he didn't know what the right answer was. Was it possible that someone's breath against one's skin could make it feel so prickly, almost like a thousand needles danced on it at once? He backed away, almost integrating with the wall. "Teme- wha-?" he started to say, then it occurred to him that Sasuke wasn't really acting himself. He wondered if what was happening was part of a dream and he never really woke up. It made sense to him. What he did next also made perfect sense to him- at the time.

Naruto pinched the raven- quite hard at that.

Sasuke's reaction to that was _quite_ in character this time. A reflex punch in the face that almost sent him through the bedroom wall and into the kitchen. "What's the _matter_ with you, Dobe?" he demanded in a non-too-cool tone. It actually sounded somewhat _pissy_. Not that the Uchiha _did_ 'pissy'.

"Uh…" that was a tough one seeing as- as it turned out- this wasn't a dream. The blonde rubbed his cheek where Sasuke's fist had connected. "Just making sure it wasn't a dream." He mumbled, a light blush dusting his face but he was sure it was a secret jutsu the Uchiha had used in combination with the punch.

Those charcoal eyes studied him a moment, then he frowned. "In that case, it would stand to reason that you pinch _yourself_." He deadpanned, then added in a low voice. "Not that you ever actually stop and _use_ your head."

"That actually _hurts_, Teme." Naruto said in all sincerity, earning himself a dirty glare- which he ignored with practiced skill. "And in any case, you've been acting weird since you came in."

It was impossible to actually _improve_ on the infamous Uchiha glare, but Sasuke was doing pretty well in his attempt. "You should be the one to talk, _Usuratonkachi_."

Naruto could see the vein at the side of the other boy's temple twitching like it was going to pop any minute now. It gave him a sense of relief, because it seemed like a very _Sasuke _thing to do in reaction to his words. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

The question seemed to clear the air of their previous discussion. Sasuke followed the blonde into the kitchen and practically plopped on a chair. "No." he grumbled. "Stupid Kakashi had to leave early for a mission. I'm stuck with you until later tonight." He rested his chin on his palm, eyes surveying the small apartment. "He said he'll be back _early_… but we both know Kakashi."

It was hard to explain why something in him tightened at the idea of Sasuke staying overnight. He had thought it was panic- because it was too unnerving after that dream- so he got even more confused when disappointment washed over him. "Yeah…"

"… The guy in your dream." He started again and paused. The raven took a sudden interest in the chopsticks on the table. He picked them up, studied them, positioned them between his fingers… in both hands. He might as well have had a board pinned on his head that spelled 'discomfort' with a big arrow pointing 'inside'.

Naruto busied himself with taking out the cups of instant ramen and boiling the water. "Yeah?"

"Was it Sai?"

That made him pause. He though about asking why he would even say such a thing, but then he considered that no answer was worth prolonging that particular discussion. "No."

Sasuke stopped playing with the chopsticks. "Don't you have anything in this place _other_ than instant ramen?"

He blinked. "Uh… milk…?"

"Probably expired."

"Candy-"

"Bad for your health."

Naruto set the cups on the table with a huff. "That's all there is. Bring your _own_ stuff next time, Teme."

The annoyed expressions and taut remarks were a comfortable routine that both of them recognized and appreciated.

He looked up at Sasuke who sniffed at the instant ramen like it was something out of the bowels of Hell with toxic waste for toppings. Maybe he would consider buying those rice-bowls that he seemed to like with the disgusting vegetables and tasteless meat. Just for when the bastard visited. Just because it would save him the headache next time.

And that's what he'd tell himself and Sasuke would accept it as true.

There were so much that was complicated about who they were to each other, so much history and emotion. Not many people would understand it, but their rivalry was an integral part of their bond- of their very existence. That was real. He had fought for it, cried for it, bled for it… survived for it. A bond worth dying for, but more importantly a bond worth _living_ for.

And that had been his dream for as long as he could remember dreaming.

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And _that_ was a freakishy long chapter… a LOT longer than I had originally planned. I hope you guys liked it- shonen-ai fans or not. It was quite troublesome- especially the dream part because it was the first one I wrote… Tons of thanks to **TWNJ** for all her help in this. :- Next one will be an _Ebb_… Pakku's pov. Yes, Kakashi's dog… I love him. Oh… and Sasuke, Naruto and Tsunade.

That's all, I suppose… Hope you enjoy!

Kisses and huggies!

Ja!

M.


	19. Ebb 10: Wills and Won'ts

**A/N: **Thank you thank you thank you all for the wonderful reception of the first _mostly_ shonen-ai chapter! Your encouragement and the kind words really mean a lot and helped with my insecurities about whether or not I _could_ write a more romantic/ erotic theme and still stay in character. Huggies and kisses to all of you who read the story and- as always- extra ones for you guys who took the time to review.

My anon readers: **Kakashi's Dog** – Oh- wow… Thank you thank you! :-D I hope I'm doing Pakkun justice. **S.N.F.** – LOL! Thank you for the kind words. I wasn't sure I would or could write more than teasing.. Happy you enjoyed it. :-D **Mira-chan** – You're so sweet! Ah… we all love Sasuke, don't we? Hehehe **Insomniac** – Thank you so much for the compliment, but I honestly didn't think I could write a more erotic mood. The dream went through _so_ many editing sessions…**TWNJ **would tell you. lol Yeah, I was tempted to write the rest of the chappie a bit more hot&heavy, but it would seem kind of unnatural at this point :coughthatandthedreamtookdaystogetrightcough: I'll see what I can do to satisfy the fangirl in you… .

I love Pakkun so much!! Coolest summon in the Naruniverse- I don't care how big certain snails, frogs or snakes can be. Size does not always matter. ;-P This chapter is not so much about following a specific theme as much as the 'will's and 'won't's… as the title suggests, I suppose…

**Disclaimer:** I own two cats… as much as _anyone_ can actually claim that they own a cat. It's usually the other way around. Cats own your bootey… .

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 10:_ "Will"s and "Won't"s_

Stereotypes were the worse idea humans had ever come up with. Stereotypes were another synonym for generalized inaccuracy.

Humans liked to think in black and white- "will"s and "won't"s- whereas such extremes were almost unnatural in their surroundings and, most of the time, expressive of their mental naivety. Black and white drowned in nature's colors and reality's grey. Stereotypes prolonged the charade of such things as 'polar opposites'. Extremes did not exist in nature. Night and day were not extremes, for example, they were just names to describe the light versus darkness ratio. Even as the sun was high up in the horizon, day and night were always blending with each other, gradually- for a short time- one overpowering the other, before the circle started again with each new day. Likewise, there was no such thing as absolute acceptance or absolute denial.

The two boys standing across from each other could easily be considered extreme opposites- one dark and introspective, the other sun-kissed and outgoing. Appearance was the least impressive difference between them, for those who knew them. Those who knew them intimately enough, though, would say that they were more alike than either will ever admit.

"Ready, Dobe?" Sasuke asked coolly, as though what was about to happen was simple and ordinary.

Naruto frowned and looked down for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Hai…" he said, dejectedly.

The Uchiha smirked and reached into his pocket. He retrieved his old hitai-ate- scarred and worn, but always the symbol of a Konoha ninja- that Naruto had carried for him for years. "We will fight as equals." _Will… _He spoke in that nonchalant tone, adjusting the blemished forehead protector on his head, even as the blonde has gawking at him as though he had sprouted a second head. Sasuke pointed with his thumb at his hitai-ate, right where the scar run it. "But I bet… that you won't even be able to put a scratch on my forehead." _Won't…_

Equals. Nothing extreme about that.

Pakkun looked up at Tsunade, who was watching the scene unfold beside him. The Godaime was worried- more than anyone would guess by the looks of her- but dogs sensed things that people missed or tried to hide. In that same way, he knew that the impact of those words on the blonde was deep. Kakashi had once told him about the two previous fights the boys had. Those words, uttered so smoothly, carried the entire history of their rivalry up to its breaking point- all the _"will"s_ and _"won't"s_ that had ever passed between them.

"Teme…" Naruto warned, quite nervous at the familiar scene.

"Let's fight…" the raven's smirk eased to an assuring smile. "… Naruto."

Pakkun was surprised. More so by the transformation in the blonde's poise. The boy's eyes snapped up to Sasuke's, startled for a few moments, then smiled back. Relief replaced his previous misgivings, but his smile seemed tired. They never seemed able to have their fight for the sake of fun, never to just bask in their rivalry.

"So." Yamato noted with a smile. "Sasuke decided to give Naruto the fight he wanted…"

"This isn't the fight he wanted." Tsunade's frown deepened. "If something happens to Sasuke, Naruto will never forgive himself."

The triad of watchers was standing aside, giving the boys the space they needed to play with their powerful jutsus. Pakkun didn't like the worry that the Godaime exuded, so he settled for allowing the conversation to trail off in uncertainty rather than explore the ugly scenarios. It was still morning, but as time dragged on even as- or perhaps _because_- everyone was willing it to _end_ well.

Willing something not to be so does not guarantee that it won't be anyway- in spite of prayers and faith. Pakkun knew that, at best, all they could really do was _hope._

_(__Several hours before…)_

The freaking roosters were still freakin' napping.

The day had started before sunrise and he positively possessed all the looks and grace of a drowned rat already.

There were plenty of reasons to justify his state. He was hopping from one rooftop to the next, covering the distance to the Hokage Tower from the Uchiha mansion- that just _happened_ to be on opposite sides of the village- after a night of no sleep. Then it was the matter that his companion's mood was bleak enough to seem as though as a rain cloud- primarily responsible for his aforementioned _drowned rat_ condition- was constantly in their wake.

With that going on and his discussion with Kakashi the previous night, about what would be happening that morning, Pakkun had to consider how difficult it was to be him. Sure he _looked _like a pug_,_ but he was a_ summoned beast_. And _size _did _not _matter. It was unfair that he'd get the _stares, _while that Wind kunoichi's raccoon, rat, whatever, seemed perfectly reasonable to everyone. First of, he had to live in two separate planes of existence and his routine could be interrupted at any time in both.

"Why are _you_ here again?"

Pakkun barely afforded a tired glance at the Uchiha. "Because Kakashi couldn't be here."

Which promptly brought him to reason number two. He was the only one in Kakashi's dog pack that could speak _human_. If he had known what he knew now when he was 4 months old, he would have never said Kakashi's name. Really, he should have known, because the silver-haired man had seemed all too gleeful about that and not sufficiently surprised. Inevitably, that unique ability of his separated him from the rest of the _Ninken _and forced more communication with the human species than the occasional bark.

In the case of one such as Uchiha Sasuke, he'd have to repeat himself more than once, because the suspicious boy had been had one time too many by his ex-mentor. Naturally, he would double check to make sure that Pakkun was not an accessory to something that would amuse the Jounin out of his boredom. The boy had a point there, given Kakashi's past and nature.

"And why won't you drop me off at the Dobe's?" the Uchiha asked, still not entirely convinced.

Indeed, he was a rather unorthodox chaperone of one foot tall and all fuzzy, but the boy _really_ had to look into those trust issues. If he continued like this, he wouldn't let the boy touch his paws. Ever. That should be punishment enough for pestering him like that so early. "Because Naruto is not supposed to know you will be joining the meeting."

The boy frowned, jaw clenching a bit in a clear indication of dislike. Pakkun wondered what exactly it was that the Uchiha was finding so objectionable. Was it the overall secrecy and him being pulled into this without having a say so either way or perhaps the fact that he was being part of something that Naruto would really not like. Kakashi had mentioned something about Sasuke softening to the blonde, but it was in passing and never really mentioned it again. The Jounin had seemed concerned though.

"The Godaime will explain everything in due time. Until then be patient and follow my lead." Pakkun said, dismissing any further talk on the subject.

Sasuke huffed, but complied.

He liked the boy well enough, but he could be a bigger pain than Kakashi and a lot less funny about it too.

The ensuing silence refocused his mind on his previous thoughts. The worst part of being him was- worse than the incessant conversations- was that for all his uncanny abilities, be still carried all the traits of an average dog. A good example of that, presently, was the torture his keen sense of smell was subjecting his stomach to. Konoha's residents were busy making breakfast, Kakashi had left in a hurry without feeding him and he had traveled a long way from the mansion to the main part of the city, without any breakfast-stops because the Uchiha had lost his appetite. Canine salivation in the face of starvation was no myth.

"Here we are." Pakkun muttered, trying to focus into anything other than his misery over food, or he'd bite the boy.

They reached the Hokage Tower and walked straight to Tsunade's office pausing in front of the door. Pakkun looked up. "You'll have to do the honors, Sasuke. I can't reach the handle from down here."

Though it was phrased in utter seriousness- or maybe _because _of that- the Uchiha smirked down at him, eyes glimmering with amusement. The Uchiha clan was the poster subject for stereotypes. All of them smart, competent and ruthless. All of them having the same undeniable beauty- same dark eyes, raven hair and pale complexion- in their prime, as the boy. It made Pakkun sad to think that perhaps Sasuke would be the last of the bloodline. In spite of their hardass poise and the aloofness of the ever-perfectionists, he had always been rather fond of the cocky bastards.

As the door opened, they stepped into the middle of a quarrel. If he were to judge by Tsunade's expression, they had been at it for a while. Naruto was standing at the center of the room, hands by his sides, clenched to fists- that strange halfway between feeling defensive and being tempted to lash out.

"You are making no sense at all, Baa-chan." He said in an exasperated tone that spoke volumes of how bad the argument had been going. "Just who am I supposed to fight like _that_?"

Tsunade looked over the blonde's shoulders, at the new arrivals. "Just in time."

Naruto turned around with a frown. His cobalt eyes widened painfully at the sight of Sasuke, as a guess seemed to hazard in the back of his mind. There was an almost tangible shift in his attitude, almost as though something invisible jumped out of his body and tried to push Sasuke out of the room again. Pakkun cursed that 6th sense dogs had- life would be a lot easier if he understood less. Even though he couldn't have missed it, the raven looked back unphased as he closed the door behind him.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. It was easy to translate Sasuke's unspoken statement. _I won't go_. He turned around to glare at his Hokage. "What is the meaning of this, Baa-chan?" he demanded in an almost dangerous tone.

The otherwise loud boy seemed gravely serious. Not enraged or frantic, the way he had seen him during those missions to retrieve Sasuke or Gaara, but somber and mature beyond his years. Pakkun had not really thought that the Naruto could even _look_ that serious, just as he had never expected an implosive reaction out of him; it all seemed unnatural, like a second skin that didn't quite fit. As to the Uchiha, he simply stood there for a few moments with his guarded interest and quiet distrust. Pakkun mentally sighed.

"You asked to see me, Hokage-sama?" Sasuke asked stepping forward to stand next to Naruto, cool as an autumn breeze.

"_Baa-chan_." Naruto's tone took a dark dive, overwrought with tension and something akin to fear.

Tsunade remained quiet for a moment, cheek resting on her hand, eyes closed in her trademark posture when taking her time before answering. Finally she opened her eyes and folded her arms in the desk, facing her favored ninja with an unreadable expression. "You wanted to know who you will be fighting, didn't you?"

_(Present…)_

The clangor of metal against metal had dragged on, consistent with everything else that day. Naruto was being bluntly apprehensive about the arrangement, but it was getting ridiculous with him being nervous about doing anything that required use of chakra. Pakkun had to marvel at how the number one ninja at surprising people was currently so conventional and predictable that it would have been suicide in an actual battle situation. He doubted that either of the boys had had a sparring session without using jutsus since before their academy days.

The Uchiha's patience with him had been wearing thin for a while and was now hanging by a thin thread. "Get serious, Dobe, or _I_ will." Sasuke chastised with his signature frown, sword slashing through the air and barely missing the other boy's right arm. Another "will", another promise.

Naruto landed several feet away, instinctively grabbing onto his arm as though it had been hurt. He all but growled, "_Kage Buushin no jutsu_!", and several copies of himself appeared around Sasuke.

The ensuing attack only further irritated the raven, who easily dealt with them using his _Chidoru Nagashi_. "If you're even going to summon those useless _kage buushins_, you might as well use the Kyuubi chakra to increase their _number_ or make the few you have more _resilient_."

The patronizing tone easily irked the already frustrated boy. "Shut _up_, Teme!"

Pakkun could tell that this wasn't going as planned. The idea behind having him fight Sasuke was, of course, that the Uchiha could survive and counter most of Naruto's attacks, but also that it would be easier as they were both familiar with each other's fighting style. He wondered if perhaps this is what made Kakashi less than excited about the prospect. He had said that the only way this would pay off would be if Sasuke pissed the other boy off enough to do something _impressive_ and worthy of the raven's respect. Respect had always been a painful issue between them.

"Naruto is too cautious." He said finally.

"Naruto would be cautious with anyone." Yamato sighed. The ANBU taicho was watchful for something that might go wrong at any time, but then again he would have been-at the very least- _attentive_ watching paint dry. The man was never at ease when dealing with a task, however mundane, and this was anything but. "He's holding back."

"I agree." Both turned to Tsunade who was observing the fight with all the care of a mother hen. It would have been fascinating, if her concerns weren't justifiable. "He will give way the more Sasuke pushes him. He is afraid of what might happen if he loses control over the Kyuubi. More than that, he is afraid that Sasuke will see him as a monster."

In the distance, Naruto's clones delivered a _Rasengan _that Sasuke avoided with relative ease. The Uchiha landed on the grass behind the blonde with a graceful back-flip, his sword cutting through the fabric of the other boy's jacket, across his spine, in the process. Naruto jumped away, mostly in surprise to the feel of the cold blade so close to his skin. Those blue eyes communicated many unuttered expletives.

Sasuke smirked, his body slipping into an attacking pose. "You can't beat me at this level, Dobe. You can't even force me to activate my _Sharingan_. Is _this_ how you would have fought me all those years ago?"

Naruto got to his feet, watching the raven with a solemn, rather hurt expression, but said nothing. Pakkun wondered if the Uchiha had gone too far with the insults. Then the boy decided to take it a step further. Several steps, in fact.

"If that is so… I was wrong to want to fight you." Sasuke said- cold, relentless- and charged at the blonde. "Usuratonkachi."

_(Several hours before…)_

The silence that settled in the room for a moment was choking and had many different flavors. It tasted like more than _mild_ interest from Sasuke and unbending resolve from Tsunade. And Naruto- he radiated anxiety and near panic at the plan that slowly unfolded before his unsuspecting eyes. His eyes, that were pointedly fixed away from the Uchiha, as though if he did no longer see him, the other boy would no longer be in the room.

It wasn't a good day to be in this plane of existence- but then again, that was usually the case when he had to be summoned. Pakkun jumped on the Godaime's desk. "Kakashi says he agrees, but Yamato has to be present at all times as well as a medical ninja."

"I refuse."

Tsunade's honey-colored eyes returned to the blond boy. "That is not your decision, Gaki."

"I accept."

Sasuke's steady voice brought on another moment of silence. Very much like black and white, light and shadow, the two boys picked each their own polar opposite, thus- once again- playing into the stereotypes of extremes. Whereas the Uchiha's body was relaxed, eyes firm and observing on the blonde, Naruto's almost rippled with tension, his cobalt eyes darting anywhere in the room _but_ Sasuke.

"I won't do it, Baa-chan." He continued stubbornly ignoring the raven.

If there was one thing that was sharp in dogs as their sense of smell, it was their empathy; they could _feel_ what others around them felt, whether it be fear or affection and everything in between. Right now there was too much rampart emotion in the room, most of it not on the sunshiny side. Pakkun settled on the desk and simply waited. His mission was over- Sasuke was there and Kakashi's message delivered- but he could go his merry way out of tension-ville there, because the Jounin had requested a _detailed_ report. He _could _have opted to ignore him, because he would be going over all this with Tsunade and Yamato when he was back, but another troublesome trait of dogs was their loyalty; and may be Kakashi had trained him too well.

It really wasn't easy being him.

"What you have agreed to, is fight Naruto as part of his training to master control over the Kyuubi." The Godaime said, watching the dark boy carefully. "Do you realize how dangerous what I propose to do is?"

Naruto almost winced at that. Apparently, it was his hope that all of this would somehow not come up after his refusal. Tsunade's persistence seemed to only upset him further. "He's _not_ doing it either."

"I understand." Sasuke said, ignoring the blonde just as efficiently.

Tsunade nodded. "I _could_ order you to do this. You are a Konoha ninja- in probation as it may be- and therefore subject to my orders and the village's welfare." She said in a solemn voice. "But this is not an ordinary mission. Kakashi's reports on you suggest that you have the best chance of survival in case something goes wrong… but even that doesn't provide guarantees when facing a powerful creature like the Kyuubi. Knowing the risks, will you still accept?"

"No, he wo_n't_." Naruto snapped at her, walking a fine line between red-hot anger and blind fury. "That's the end of it."

Sasuke never spared him a single glance. "I accept."

This time the blonde turned to him, grabbing his shirt and forcing him around to face him. "You have _no_ right!"

The other boy didn't fight back, but merely stared at him unperturbed, even as his next words dripped with sarcasm and irony. "You would have me refuse the _Hokage_? I thought you _wanted_ me to be _good _and _compliant_."

Yes, the Uchiha was rather disconcerted at Naruto's obstinacy to keep him out of this.

_(Present…)_

This was bad. And _bad_ was another extreme to be avoided. It was unnatural and usually meant that something needed to be done. In the case of the fight between the two boys, though, there _was_ nothing to do.

Sasuke had been grinding at the blonde with verbal snares and harder attacks, obviously trying to force him to react either out of anger or pure instinct, since he had proven unwilling to make a conscious decision that might risk his friend's life. Though the Uchiha appeared icy and composed, Pakkun could feel the rising exasperation in the boy.

The summoned pug breathed deeply. Maybe having two _powerful_ ninjas fight it out to the next level of control over a _supernatural_ being, had not been the brightest of ideas.

The Uchiha backed away from a raging attack by Naruto and his _Kage Buushins_, who seemed a lot more solid now. He fought them back in his practiced blasé attitude. "Is this _really_ the best you can do, Dobe? You had more of a spark in you during our academy years. What happened to you?"

The air sizzled as the demon's chakra seeped through and mingled with Naruto's. "_You_ did." He snarled, his eyes flaring with a red tint.

Sasuke momentarily lost his pace at the cryptic answer. If it were anyone else, it might have gone unnoticed, but the raven had doomed himself with his ever apparent grace.

"It's starting." Yamato said, probably thinking aloud. His body stiffened in anticipation for something- anything. "I hope Sasuke knows what he's doing."

Tsunade watched him for a moment, then her attention returned to the two boys. "He's doing what he's been asked to do."

"Maybe too well." The ANBU taicho noted dryly.

Pakkun heard the exchange, but what had his attention was that loathsome chakra that he had not sensed for a while. He was there the day the Kyuubi had attacked Konoha, already in Kakashi's pack. He didn't just know _of _the demon, he had been there when it single-handedly almost wiped out the Village of Leaf. There weren't too many left alive who could speak of that day.

Tsunade petted his head and smiled at him. "It will be okay…"

Pakkun nodded, but wasn't entirely certain that the Godaime had not said that to assure herself more than anyone.

_(Several hours before…)_

The argument had finally subsided to less loud, yet by no means less _intense_ tones.

Naruto's fist was clamped in Sasuke's shirt, pulling him close. "You don't know what you're saying, Teme… Do you have any idea what I can do to you?"

"Yes." He replied evenly, one hand closing around Naruto's and unclenching it from his shirt. The blonde tried to pull his hand back, but the Uchiha held onto it and waited until Naruto met his eyes again before continuing. "I am asked to fall on my sword for you, if I must."

"You don't understand…" Naruto shook his head and looked down again, breaking the eyelock. "Don't even say stupid stuff like that, Teme- you're supposed to be a genious."

Sasuke's other hand came up to cup the other boy's cheek and force him to meet his eyes again. "I _will_… if I must."

_(Present…)_

Whatever progress Sasuke had made in bringing the Kyuubi out, had come to a standstill as Naruto was trying equally hard to keep the demon chakra under control. The demon cloak had appeared with one tail, but that was as far as it had gone. The Uchiha had already fought against the one-tail manifestation of the Kyuubi before he had defected to Orochimaru for three years and hadn't done too bad, all things considered.

"Well… Naruto's training has certainly paid off." Yamato said in a strange mixture of pride and concern. "Back then it was so much easier for the Kyuubi to take over. Now it all comes down to how effectively Sasuke can make him act on emotion."

"That won't be a problem." Tsunade said, but offered no further explanation for her cryptic words.

Pakkun watched the two boys. "Sasuke is getting quite aggressive." He noted. "If you are right and he manages to stir up enough emotion in Naruto to make three tails appear- or more… what will protect Sasuke then?"

The Godaime took a deep breath. "Yamato will seal the Kyuubi and I will tend to both their wounds." Her eyes drifted down to meet Pakkun's. "But when it comes down to it, this is a risk. I gave Sasuke the choice and he accepted."

The summoned pug looked back at the ongoing spar with tired eyes. "Kakashi said that Sasuke would step up to the challenge. He also said that if Sasuke were to force the Kyuubi out of Naruto the situation could become very volatile."

Yamato's lips thinned to a tight line, apparently understanding and agreeing with the Jounin's assessment.

A blast diverted their attention back to the battle unfolding several yards away.

"Fight me!" Sasuke growled, activating his _Chidori_. "Isn't this what you wanted? A chance to hurt me back?"

Something about those words made Naruto pause in his defensive tactics. The raven stood a few feet away from him, his eyes widening slightly as the air became thicker. It was as much of a warning as one could hope to get for the oncoming shift, very much the way a brewing storm started with lightening in the distance. The demon chakra thundered around the blonde, the second tail forming.

Sasuke did not seem too pleased to find that particular ploy having the desired effect. His brows kneaded in a frown, hesitation and something akin to weariness shaded his face for a moment that he simply waited. Then his features set in determination once again.

Pakkun had to marvel at the boy's ability to switch off whatever he was feeling for the sake of his current task. For his friend.

_(Several hours before…)_

Sasuke's words were definitive, leaving no room for argument. For the first time since his return, Tsunade looked at the boy without distrust- without expecting him to just pull something that would break Naruto. The Godaime almost looked at him like any other Konoha ninja.

None of this mattered to the Uchiha, though. He held the blonde's chin level, his other hand tightening around the other boy's wrist. "You are the one who doesn't seem to understand. So I will try to put it in a way that makes this very clear to you."

A golden frown of near helplessness played over the blonde's eyes. "Sasuke…"

It was a plea. Pakkun recognized it easily even though he had never heard the boy sound that vulnerable before. He shared a look with Tsunade who seemed to accept that the Uchiha was probably the only one that could talk Naruto into this.

If Sasuke was affected by Naruto's appeal, he didn't show it. Instead, his charcoal eyes hardened and his voice took an almost harsh edge to it. "You don't have a choice _but_ to accept my help, because you have _forced_ me to do the same. Try and deny _that_."

Pakkun knew that the argument was over there and then. The Uchiha had pushed all the right buttons to impel the other boy's unwilling consent. Because Naruto wasn't a hypocrite; he had almost died in his quest for Sasuke- more than once- and Pakkun was sure that, given the choice, he would have done it all over again. It's not quite the same when someone else wanted to do it for him though

_(Present…)_

"Is _this_ what I would have traded my defection for?"

The words echoed louder than it was natural. Harsh and merciless touching on what anyone who knew Naruto well enough would call a still-open wound. The blonde had not turned to face his accuser, but the way the Kyuubi's chakra flowed freely was answer enough as to how this all affected him.

Pakkun felt sorry for the kid. There was no way for Naruto to know, but Sasuke really didn't seem as collected as he sounded. It was moments like these that Pakkun thought that Kakashi's protégé was a lot like his mentor. He was also quite certain that the boy had forgotten that he was being watched, because Tsunade's sympathetic and worried expression and Yamato's small, approving smile would have surely bothered him. Much like Kakashi, Sasuke's true face was always more obvious when he thought that no one was looking.

The Uchiha closed his eyes for a moment, then swallowed once, past an invisible knot in his throat, before he continued. "Is _this _how you would help me get stronger? You're too afraid to even fight me. Coward."

That one had quite an impact on Naruto. Pakkun winced at how nasty it had sounded. His guess was that it was almost as difficult to utter that word about Naruto as it was for him to hear it. Almost. Because _hearing _the word had the makings of the third tail.

"It shouldn't go further than this." Yamato said, tensing up.

But Sasuke could not hear the warning and, almost at the same time, he uttered the words that would finish his work promptly and quite efficiently. "You make _glad_ that I chose Orochimaru over Konoha."

Naruto turned to him, his _Rasengan_ already spiraling in his hands, but instead of the clear blue, it was tinted red with the force of the demon chakra. About as red as the boy's eyes. There was a small bubbling bump on the demon's cloak, suggesting that the fourth tail might appear. In a flash, Naruto disappeared and reappeared over the raven, descending fast and intending too strike.

Too late, did Sasuke realize that in that state the blonde was incapable of rationalizations such as recognition. Perhaps he believed that there was no state that Naruto would not know who he was.

Too late, did Yamato start to form the sealing jutsu. Even trained hands can only move so fast.

Too late, did Tsunade call out Naruto's name. He was already unable to hear her and, even if he could, unable to stop.

Too late for Pakkun to close his eyes. He wished he could, but the scene had almost choked him in that sense of complete helplessness.

There was nothing to do. The last time an Uchiha had fought against the Kyuubi, the demon was not trapped inside his best friend. There had been no hesitation- and hesitation was a costly emotion. All there was, was a blinding explosion as the _Rasengan_ connected with whatever Sasuke had conjured up in those last seconds.

Once the sealing was over, smoke and dust still almost solid in the air, the three observers rushed to what appeared to be ground zero, to find only Naruto lying on the charred ground.

Tsunade looked around anxiously, even as she knelt by the blonde and started to heal him. "Where is Sasuke? Pakkun…?"

Pakkun tried to recover the Uchiha's smell in the air. "With all this smoke it's hard to tell… but as far as I can say…" he paused. "… Sasuke is not here."

Yamato frowned. "What does that mean? Even if Naruto's _Rasengan_ hit him, there _should_ be remains… Even if that was just his smell." The ANBU taicho's voice brimmed with guilt.

"I will keep trying." Pakkun said, hoping that Yamato's reasoning was more than just a frail hope that crossed straight into denial.

"Baa-chan…"

They turned to the boy, his terrible wounds mostly healed, but his voice was hoarse and betrayed his exhaustion.

"What happened?" he asked, his half lidded cobalt eyes taking in the distraction around him. Those eyes were becoming more and more alert by the second. Naruto looked back at them and then around. "Where is Sasuke?"

"Lie still, Naruto." Yamato said, crouching down, beside him. "Your wounds are still not entirely healed."

Naruto's eyes moved to Yamato, who looked too sober, and back to Tsunade, who avoided his gaze, then frantically around him to finally settle on the charred ground be was lying on. "Where is Sasuke?" he asked again, this time his voice trembling with panic and the shadow of grief.

Tsunade finished with his wounds and settled her hands on her lap. "We don't know."

"What does that mean?" he insisted, his mind refusing to wrap around the insinuation.

"Pakkun, I need you and Yamato to search the area for Sasuke." The Godaime's voice was a monotone. "I will wait here with Naruto."

"Bullshit! I'm not waiting!" Naruto snapped and tried to get to his feet only to collapse again. "Chi'kuso…" he cursed, tears of anger- at his weakness- and grief- at what he refused to accept- welling in his eyes.

Pakkun was almost thankful to have a reason to leave.

Unlike most things that required resolve to weather through, the idea that one may be directly responsible for the death of their best friend was not a test of will. More often than not there were a lot more '_won't_'s involved than '_will_'s. 'I _won't_ forgive myself', 'I _won't_ go on'. Kakashi was fortunate enough to find a _will_ important enough to pull him back from the dark pit his best friend's death had put him. He decided that he wouldn't allow Obito's sacrifice to be in vain. If Sasuke really was dead, he was unsure that Naruto would find the same kind of 'will' in himself.

The summoned pug raced around the grounds in hopes that he would pick up the faintest smell that would reveal the Uchiha's location.

Because he wanted to believe that he could go back to the blonde boy and tell him that things _will_ be okay.

Because in his old age, this was a _"won't" _he didn't know how to deliver.

* * *

Yay- my fist cliffhanger! … :looks around to see if anyone else is cheering: Ahem… I hope I didn't confuse you guys too much with the back and forth in the present and past… I thought about having Naruto use the _Futon _but figured it'd be too much… This is the biggest chapter I've written thus far... big enough to wonder if anyone read all of it... lol The next one is a _Tide_… pov and title to be announced… Oh come on, if I say that, it will no longer be a cliffhanger… which, for those of you who read the note in chapter 1, it's not _really_ a cliffy, but oh well… it came out this way.

Huggies and kisses to you all of you who read thus far in the fic… Reviews are welcome and appreciated. :-D

Ja!

M.


	20. Tide 10: I Hurt Myself Today

A/N:

**A/N:** Chapter 20… wow… Well, my story is an adult now and will eventually get to adult stuff.. lol Lame humor aside, thank you all for reading and extra thanks to the people who take the time to review. You guys are wonderful and help me be fix stuff that are off or make me less nervous about trying new stuff with your support.. I appreciate it more than I can convey. :-D Gazillion thanks to **TWNJ** for her support and her BEAUTIFUL art- here's the link for you guys to check it out! . http : / / twnj . deviantart . com /

Many thanks to my anon. readers that I can only thank here. **Insomniac** – Thank you so much- character evolution is very important to me. Next chapter is Ino and I have plans for Gai. :-D Don't worry, before this is over, everyone will have their respective chapters. As to the manga, I've read it and am not too thrilled about the last turn there. I think it's cheap unless Kishimoto comes up with something that REALLY justifies this. I generally don't use stuff that spoil ahead of the anime because I don't want to be unfair to people who are not reading the manga… **Halskr** – Thank you for your kind words. :-D As to the chapter. I'm sorry for the confusion… I tried writing the chapter in a lineral manner and it was coming out too big. I'd have to break it in two chapters and that would be a little like milking it dry.. or at least that's what it felt like.. **Kakashi's Dog­ – **I thought Pakkun and the Ninken deserved their place in the spotlight. :-D Thank you bunches and bunches!

And now to the chappie… because I suspect that this is why you guys are checking in and not my blah blahs.. The name of the chapter is actually a verse from a song I love, "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. Lyrics after the chapter for anyone who's interested…

**Disclaimer:** I own the right to blah-blah before each chapter… and after… but not as much.

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 10: _I Hurt Myself Today…_

Everything hurt.

It wasn't as though he was a stranger to pain, so his opinion should by no means get discredited as an exaggeration. As a matter of fact, his pain threshold had shocked freaks like Orochimaru, so that should vouch for the severity of his opinion, if nothing else did. And that shouldn't be the case, anyway. They could doubt his sanity, his stability, his loyalty, but he had learned how to experience hurt with dignity for the better part of his life- wherever that got him, however much it had cost him.

The annoyance arising at his own train of thought became almost as prevalent as the pain. He opened his eyes slowly, rather apprehensive of the effect the light would have in his state. Thankfully, it was dark enough- not nighttime, rather late evening. He blinked a couple of times and the world came into focus with a sick feeling. In retrospection, just _maybe_ he shouldn't have gotten quite that cocky about his vision. He shut his eyes tightly again, almost hoping that it would erase the effects of his previous action. It didn't, really.

"Sasuke!"

He creaked an eye open towards the source of the voice that had echoed inhumanly loud in his ears. It stood to reason that his senses were just too sensitive at the moment, because Sakura was supposed to be a _medic_ nin and _shrieking_ at him at this point would have been an act of pure sadism. "What happened?" he managed to choke out through the cotton haze that was his mind.

Sakura folded her hands on her lap, relaxing slightly against the chair by his bedside. He had known her well enough to recognize that a broad variety of answers flashed behind her eyes. She chose the most evident one. "The Kyuubi training went wrong. Pakkun found you on the other side of the training field." She paused a moment. "Did you use a teleportation jutsu?"

The question had little to do with his well-being, so he much doubted that it was _Sakura _asking. So, the Godaime was curious, was she? He felt too battered and sick to play games. "Replacement. It was too late to use teleportation."

It had almost been too late to use replacement as well. Naruto's red _Rasengan_ had barely touched him as he was finishing the jutsu, but apparently that alone had been enough to land him on his ass. It served him right for _under_estimating the damage Naruto could do and _over_estimating his ability to take it. He couldn't remember opening his eyes before a few moments ago. The one thing he did remember though, as he watched Naruto descent upon him like a creature of vengeance, was a strange feeling of regret he could not place, but it mostly had to do with the blonde. If he were to fail and die that instant, he would die with the knowledge that he hadn't said all there was to say or done all he could do to make things right between them. It was a sad, familiar drill, he knew all too well. He wanted to say everything- truly, sincerely did- but said nothing. He was not quite sure why- he just couldn't. There was always _something_. Once, it had been his quest for revenge. This time, it had been his aggravation that Naruto was shutting him out and refusing his help. He had -

"- been hurt. So even though you should be feeling significantly better tomorrow, your sessions with Kakashi-sensei will be put on hold until you have made a full recovery." Sakura finished.

Sasuke had not even realized that she had been talking and came dangerously close to praying that his surprise, at the odd way her words seemed to have rounded out his thoughts, was not too plainly written on his face. He shook his head and hazarded a guess on what had said. "I'm _fine_…" he lied quickly- stubbornly, generally as possible.

Her teal eyes observed him with evident concern, by then quite familiar with his tough act. He couldn't really blame her for being skeptical about his answer. When he had been brought back, he had insisted that he was okay even though he had bled himself dry and had to- quite literally- be stitched back together- chakra techniques aside. He had said that he was fine, with a straight face, even after the anesthesia had worn out. He had furthermore insisted that he was in no need of painkillers. Sakura, being the closet sadist that she was, had a male nurse shove a syringe on his bottom. While he was asleep. The male nurse had to be hospitalized in another wing, Tsunade had threatened his probation and he had- begrudgingly- complied the next time Sakura presented him with the painkillers.

"Sasuke…" she warned.

It would have been rather strange to him that there was no more "_kun"_ to go with his name- that is if he hadn't been around her often enough the past few months. Something in him was still finding it hard to believe that this was Sakura- sure of herself, strong, not seeking anyone's approval or affection. His friend. A bigger part of him had a newfound appreciation for Rock Lee.

The Uchiha rolled his eyes, but gave up with a smirk. "I _will_ be okay." He assured her, then propped himself up on his elbows to really take in his surroundings for the first time.

He had expected to be at the hospital, but instead he was at the mansion, in his parents' old room. The dark blue walls, the Uchiha crest over the bed felt heavy on him, smothering him under the weigh of his memories. Everything had been ceremoniously left in their original place, exactly the way they had been before the massacre- that was after he had scavenged the blood. But since then he had never repositioned anything and had even left a small vase, that his mother prided as a heirloom that dated back generations, tilted on the nightstand. Each time he had dared walk back into the room- and that was only to clean it- his eyes carefully disregarded the porcelain vase, because then he had to wonder if it was his mom that had knocked it over trying to escape Itachi. He didn't look at the family photograph that his father kept on his nightstand, because he'd have to fight back the emotions that overwhelmed him, when he recalled how his mother talked about the way the legendary Uchiha Fugaku would take it in his hands and smile proudly, like any other father. It almost felt like a sacrilege that he was there. It hurt.

Sasuke fought his way out of those thoughts and focused on his arm. Like everything in him, there was no scar or bruise to explain the pain. "I can't be too bad, if I'm home."

Sakura looked at him strangely for a moment. "You were clearly not paying attention while I was talking. Your _wounds_ are not _severe_ but they _will_- at the very _least_- cause you _discomfort_ for a _while_. Even though your _condition_ did not warrant keeping you in the _hospital_, you have been _hurt_. _So_ even though-"

"I get it." He interrupted. The way she stressed every second word was torture and she knew it. Evil woman.

Her expression softened. "Tsunade-sama thought you would rather not be back in a hospital bed, if you could avoid it…" she sighed and rose from the chair, gathering her notes. "You have been resting for a few hours… it seemed longer than that. You had us all worried… some of us more than others."

Sasuke looked up at her, coming to a full sitting position. He intended to ask something, but it was rather swiftly and _entirely_ lost to him- along with pain, bother and any other concerns he had up to that moment- in light of his newest discovery, that he was naked under the expensive blue covers. He pulled the sheet up to his chest almost defensively. "Sakura… what the hell…?"

The pink-haired girl just waved off his concern. "Oh, don't worry, Kakashi undressed you. He was already here when we reached the mansion."

The Uchiha was torn between feeling disturbed and assured at the same time, before his mind registered another thing that was out of the ordinary. "Where is the Dobe?"

There was no reason for the blonde _not_ to be in the room. He had _always_ been there- coming after him, waiting for him, pestering him. Even all those years that he was away from Konoha, a part of him averred that Naruto would not give up on him. Because that's how the blonde was; he argued, he cared, he was a pain… he never _left_- not anyone, but especially _him._ And he believed that, no matter how it sounded and even as he didn't know why it was so important to him. The shadow of grim suspicion overcast his features as to what Naruto's absence could mean. Had the Dobe managed to hurt _himself_ as well?

It was either that Sakura had become proficient at reading him or his expression was _that_ telltale of his thoughts. Either was equally disconcerting to him. "Naruto is outside with Kakashi-sensei. He's been waiting for you to wake up."

Instead of relief, he forced his featured to convey simple acknowledgement. "Sakura… would you mind telling him to-"

"He won't come in." she cut him.

Now that surprised him- this time not because she read his mind, but the finality of her response. "What?"

Sakura bit her lip for a moment, then let her hands drop to her sides, communicating her frustration. "Naruto is feeling too guilty to come in here and face you…" she took a deep breath and looked vaguely towards the entrance, her thoughts carrying her sight to where Naruto would be. "Sasuke… he could have killed you… He's not dealing too well with what happened."

Her simple explanation was met with bemused silence. Sasuke was staring at her as though as she spoke in some unintelligible language, spattering gibberish. He watched her study him for a few moments.

"I should go out and inform them that you are awake." She said, then paused at the door. "I will come by tomorrow to check in on you, but until then stay in bed and don't move around too much. You need rest."

His response was a shallow nod, indicating that he heard her instructions, but providing no promise that he would abide by them.

The door opened and closed behind Sakura and then he was alone. He felt ridiculous holding the sheet to his chest, but not ridiculous enough to not struggle with his covers and pillows for a comfortable position. He soon gave up with a curse, resigning to the idea that his physical discomfort would not allow him for anything of the sort, and lay on his back. The light of the settling sun and the curtains cast eerie patterns on the ceiling. At times it looked like soothing strokes against the wood, at others it morphed to memories of a nightmare that had played out in the mansion close to a decade before.

It was not just his body- everything hurt. _He_ hurt.

Nothing had ever gone remotely the way he had intended. Not his life and not the training session he got into to help his friend. Naruto was supposed to co-operate and have a high-level spar with him. Maybe he had hoped that it'd be one of those spars they used to have back then, only better, because now they both knew a lot more tricks. They were _supposed_ to go at it tit for tat. It was _supposed_ to make it right for the last two fights they had- on the hospital roof and then the Valley of the End. Instead it turned out to be one more fiasco between them. It weighed rather badly on him, how Naruto had reacted at his provocation.

_Isn't this what you wanted? A chance to hurt me back?_Was it?

He ran his hand through his hair feeling frustrated and antsy, just lying on that bed. And not just any bed- his _parents'_ bed. He didn't want to taint whatever had been left of his parents' scent and presence- which hadn't been there for years, but Sasuke knew how to hold on to his ghosts. He'd rather hurt himself than let go.

And true to that principal, after a few moments of inaction, he forced his body to move and rise from the bed. That was not fun. It required conscious effort to put one foot in front of the other- his body felt leaden and weak, his head spinning- but he walked to the closet and reached for anything he could wear. First thing he grabbed was his mother's red kimono. And it was a good thing that his father did not have anything red, or he might have just tried it on in his dazed condition.

He rolled his eyes. Wrong side of the closet.

Thankfully, his father's side was but a few steps away. He retrieved a long white robe that had the Uchiha crest on the back, the one that he had always fantasized that he'd get from his father one day. His mom had said that maybe his father would give it to him when he grew into it. But that never happened. And now that he was claiming it without permission, the irony occurred to him that- even after all those years, even after everything he had done- the robe was still too big for him. His mom would have said that all he has to do is drink his milk and finish his food- and all those other things that embarrassed boys; he would act tough, but love every minute of it. Uchiha Mikoto was the ideal mother. He missed her every minute of every day. He missed everyone.

Unconsciously, his hand had clenched into a fist around his mother's kimono. It hurt to the touch, it burned him the way something sacred burns the evil. Sasuke sighed and placed it tentatively back into the closet. There was nothing he could do for those long since dead, but there was a particular loud blonde outside his home that required his attention. Truth be said, he was like a bull in a china shop when it came to dealing with his personal life and important people. More often than not, all he could really do was try to minimize the damage.

It took him a while, but, by the time that he made it to the front door, he had managed to soldier up his body so that he simply seemed stiff and not near-crippled. There was the sound of muffled conversation on the other side. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

The reaction he got was almost comical with Sakura, Kakashi and Naruto gapping at him. Then Kakashi's visible eye became that familiar crescent suggesting that the Jounin was smiling.

"Ma, Sasuke… did you feel left out and decided to join us?" he asked casually.

"Screw that!" Sakura was seeing red, "What did I tell you when I left the room? I said, _don't move_!"

"Actually, Sakura, you said 'don't move around too much'." He said in that haughty attitude of his, used to having the final word on things. "I didn't."

The blonde went from outright gawking at him to letting plain relief wash his features. He assessed Sasuke for a long moment, but hen his eyes were averted to look at something really intriguing on the ground between his feet. It _had_ to be intriguing, because nothing around him seemed to motivate him enough to look elsewhere. Not the weight of everyone's gaze on him and not the pregnant silence. The Uchiha watched him, then locked eyes with Sakura, who had been about to kick the cocky boy back into his bed. She shook her head, indicating that she didn't think forcing the subject was a good idea. As time went by, Sasuke had discovered that the girl was quite protective of Naruto- that and the concept that only she could monopolize beating the blonde.

"Sakura. Kakashi. Could you excuse us?" the raven said politely, even though it was not a request.

Naruto frowned at him. "I actually need to go-"

"_Actually_, Sakura and I need to see the Hokage now that Sasuke is awake." Kakashi interrupted with all the innocence of a cat who just tore up the curtains. "And being that I'll have to be gone for a while, it appears that you _have_ to stay here and watch over Sasuke. Hokage's orders."

The blonde almost choked. "You just made that excuse up, sensei!"

Sasuke watched them wave their goodbyes to him and Naruto, who continued to yell accusations in their wake. Sakura had seemed hesitant, but went along with Kakashi. The raven appreciated his ex-mentor's help on this. He was not strong enough to pin the blonde and force him to talk or listen.

When the yelling died down, he stepped from the entrance to the cold, stony patio. It occurred to him that he had not seen his shoes anywhere and that the evening was chillier than he had thought. He pulled the white robe- now hued in the colors of the setting sun- tighter around him."Ready to talk now, Dobe?"

The other boy sighed and walked back to the mansion to sit on the stairs. "Yeah…"

The raven settled himself beside him, cautious not to wince at how much it took of him to move his body. It was not very nice of him, but he actually counted on Naruto's guilty to keep the boy's attention off of him. It felt silly to ask what was the matter, so he simply waited until the other boy decided to speak. Between the two of them, _he_ held the record for longest silent moment.

And true to his calculations, the blonde spoke first. "I'm thinking about joining the ANBU." He started with a twinge of hesitation. "It will take me away from Konoha a lot, but I think it's time I get moving."

Sasuke watched him for a long moment. Multiple responses went through his mind, out of which his mouth chose the most pragmatic… and insensitive. "You are not even a chuunin yet, Dobe."

Cobalt blue eyes snapped to his, full of irritation. Then he seemed distracted, his expression morphing to concern and more than obvious remorse. "You look like crap, Teme."

"I've been worse." The Uchiha amended. "You don't look that good yourself."

Naruto's eyes returned to the same spot between his feet. Sasuke couldn't help but follow his gaze. All he could see there was dust and perhaps something… brownish? He scrunched up his nose in distaste as he realized what the brownish stain might be. He'd have to have _another _long talk with Kakashi about his _Ninken._ Refocusing on the matter at hand though, he much doubted that the blonde had even noticed any of those things.

"… Gomen…" Naruto said after another long moment.

The look on the boy's face was contrite, betraying guilt and shame. Sasuke felt a sharp pang on his chest at the sight. Before his mind could process his actions, his hand had reached over and gently stroked the blonde's hair. His mom had always done that when he seemed sad and it always made him feel better. Almost as though the other boy wasn't real, but something taken out of the natural flow of time for him to examine, he took his time to consider the sensation. The golden hair wasn't soft, but it still felt slick, easily sliding through his fingers. He smiled slightly, amused at how it seemed to grow in every direction, much like the crown of a king- a _Hokage_- and much like the sun itself.

"Uh… Sasuke…?"

The raven's charcoal eyes moved to Naruto's eyes, who was staring at him in a wild mixture of trepidation and bewilderment. "Yes, Dobe?" he asked… which, quite honestly, was not what he had meant to say or do. What he should have done, was drop his hand, smirk and say something obnoxious that would send the blonde straight to a tantrum; but he was tired and this felt comforting and soothing. It mystified him at times, how he reacted to Naruto. It wasn't choice per se, just a general sense of traction to a specific action or word.

"W-what are you doing?" Naruto asked, attempting- and failing- to make it sound like a demand.

The stuttering was amusing. Sasuke smiled a little- somewhat taunting but mostly genuine. "Is what I'm doing disagreeable to you?"

That wasn't the response that he had in mind, because his mouth hang open for a few moments, those cobalt eyes almost frantically trying to figure the Uchiha out. Then he sighed. "No, but-"

"No 'but's." Sasuke cut him and was pleased to find that the blonde's alertness, slowly gave way to a much needed repose.

It was almost entrancing to watch as tension flowed out of his body, his eyelids fluttering in an attempt to resist sleep, his breathing easing to a more restful pattern. Sasuke watched until he started to feel uncomfortable with how comfortable this all felt. Until the smoothness of the golden hair started to hurt. Then he dropped his hand and leaned forward, resting his arms on his lap, overlooking how Naruto almost fell over instinctively following his retreating touch.

The blonde's eyes filled will confusion and indignation, his cheeks rosy with fresh embarrassment. "Teme, why did you…?" _Stop?_ "What were you…?" _Doing? Thinking?_

Sasuke watched the other boy, certain that he would not finish any of those questions. Perhaps he _hoped_ that he would not, because he wasn't sure he had the answers; or didn't want to know that he _did _have them. He waited until Naruto's temper had subsided. "I tried to kill you. Not by accident or a miscalculation. And not just once either." he said, voice back to betraying no emotion. "What makes me worthy of your forgiveness?"

Naruto frowned at him, clearly not enjoying the turn of the conversation. "Why are you asking?"

It was an easy question. "Because I want to know. Is the answer difficult for you?"

One of the worse things anyone could do to the blonde was verbally corner him. He knew what he felt, he would die for what he believed, but he was no lawyer. His eyes drifted down again to that favored spot on the ground. "If this is about making a point about how I did not intend for you to get hurt, spare me. I should have never gone along with Baa-chan's plan." His lips tightened to a thin line. "I had attacked Ero-sennin, while he was training me. I attacked Sakura before we found you- Sakura!" Naruto's voice was picking up in volume- in frustration, in pain. "Our _Sakura-chan_! I _would_ have killed her, if Yamato-taicho hadn't saved her! My _Rasengan_ might have killed _you_!"

Sasuke smirked, trying to lift the tension. "Don't flatter yourself, Dobe."

When Naruto looked up, his eyes were glazed over with unshed tears. "Shut up, Sasuke- just shut _up_! You think this is something I can just _deal_ with and _laugh_ about, just because no one _died_? This is my _life _and the people I love." his voice was loud, breaking with emotion. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about…"

"Naruto…" the Uchiha began, then sighed. He looked up at the setting sun, whose last brilliant rays outlined the mountains in the distance and hailed the coming darkness. "You had once said that someone who cannot save a friend should not be Hokage. Now I'm telling you that neither can someone who is not prepared to _lose_ one. You dream of becoming Hokage and protect everyone, but you need to realize that sacrifices must be made at times. And they will be made." He kept his tone soft, because really, he couldn't stand the sight of the blonde crying. "You know I'm quite powerful by now. If you are not ready to take a the chance with_ me-_ with all the risks your training involves- how do you expect to give orders to people who are not quite as prepared as I am… some of them may be your friends. Others might be your own students."

Naruto sniffled and wiped his eyes. "If you mean to make me feel better, Teme, you are really not succeeding."

He scoffed, then smiled softly. "What I mean, _Usuratonkachi_… is that you can _trust_ me. I won't break."

The blonde looked up at him with those shiny eyes and pulled him roughly into a tight hug. It hurt, but it didn't matter.

Sasuke decided that perhaps he was not quite as well equipped as he had thought to deal with pain. Good things, heartfelt and genuine, could hurt someone like him in ways no physical blow or personal tragedy ever would. They hurt because such rare curiosities made him feel vulnerable, naked and unprotected. There was no jutsu to shield from fragile beauty of finally having something, the loss of which could mean the loss of everything.

"I trust you." Naruto muttered into his neck.

It made him smile and he closed his eyes, contentedly surrendering to the pain of the embrace, if only for a while, because he knew it would not last longer than that. "Aah…" he acknowledged.

The blonde cleared his throat, after a few moment, fidgeting with the fabric around the Uchiha's neck. And even as he didn't let go of him- which in itself was surprising- Sasuke knew that whatever it was that the boy would say next would dramatically change the mood of the moment. "Ne… Sasuke?"

The Uchiha knew by then that any question that started like that could not end too well for him. He wondered if it was really that Naruto's mind was _that_ random or that the blonde knew the same pain as him and felt the same need to protect himself from those precious moments of deep, human connection. "Yes, Dobe?"

"You _are_ wearing something under this robe… right?"

If someone had dropped a bucket full of ice down his back, it would have had the same effect as Naruto's question. He froze in place for a moment, his cheeks burning up in a feverish flush. He looked at the culprit responsible for a fleeting moment that he passed judgment and moved on to execution. The blonde yelped and was about to move away to safety distance- wherever _that_ imaginary place might have been- but it was already too late.

Sasuke punched him all the way down the stairs. He hoped it hurt.

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I almost didn't include that final scene but Naruto's voice in my head was SO persistent… I hope the lighter ending kinda lifts the bleak mood I have Sasuke in for the better part of the chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Review if you like… I like. ;-) Next Chappie will be another Tide, Ino's pov and will have to do with that party I mentioned a couple of chapters ago. :-D

Love and Huggies to all!

Ja!

M.

PS. I do not think that the song I'm mentioning- _Hurt_- is Emo. It's too much of a classic and I think it's about personal cost and consequences. And those of you who know who Johnny Cash is, you know there's nothing remotely emo about him. How can a man who wrote epics like _A Boy Named Sue_ and _Cocaine Blues_. Those of you who don't know who he is I think you'll get a kick out of the 3 songs I mentioned… and _The Man in Black_.

**Johnny Cash - Hurt**

I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything

_Chorus:_  
What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here

_Chorus:_

If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way


	21. Tide 11: Host Duties

A/N:

**A/N:** Some of you may have noticed that I changed the setting to "Romance"… I think it's fair for the people who don't like shonen-ai/ yaoi, since things are heading that way. Thank you all who read and, as always, extra thanks to those of you who take the time to review. Feedback is a beautiful thing. The drinking game they are playing is a traditional Japanese/Chinese one.. All credit goes to **TWNJ,** who steered me in the right direction in order to stay consistent with the culture. In the process I was educated and will be trying this one out sometime. ;-D I will explain how it's played for the rest of you guys, right after I give my thanks to my anon users. :-D

**Insomniac** – When you were talking about Sakura especially it was like I was hearing my own thoughts! Very eerie and cool. :-D I'm happy you thought the scene worked at the end… I really don't think that the story is at a point where things can get TOO mushy. As to the manga… I'm trying to keep the faith. lol … and you'll probably want to kick me, but I like Snape… :ducks: It's a sin, I know. And don't change a thing about your reviews. I love 'em just the way they are. :-D **Halskr** – You DO have a point there… :scratches head: To tell you the truth, I didn't think it'd fit there and then and planned on using what was said later. But maybe I should have addressed some of them… Thank you for your support and your criticism. :-D **Kakashi's Dog **– Thank you, hon! I'm happy you enjoy the ride. As to what the party is about… read on. ;-)

**Rules of the Drinking Game**

You have 7 game pieces: 3 cups of different sizes with their associated tops, that are also used as cups. One cup can fit into the other- much like the Russian Babushkas- and the last piece is a die. It's your regular die that has 6 sides- no D&D ones, lol- five sides have the numbers 1-5 in dots and the sixth side has a painted musical note. In each cup and lid there are faces and dots that correspond with a side of the die and the smallest one has the musical note. With me so far? Okay… here are the actual rules: The minimum number of players is 6. Each cup can be filled with the same or different beverages. The person sitting to the right of the host rolls first and the you continue with the person on their right and so on. Depending on the number you roll, you have to perform a task. If the guests are happy with how you did, the next person plays, if not… bottoms up, no matter how big the cup. Thus, performing the tasks becomes increasingly difficult. The tasks are as follows: 1. You need to offer an interesting FACT that the guests had no previous knowledge of. 2. You are called to pose a RIDDLE. 3. You say a JOKE to make them laugh. 4. PANTOMIME a famous saying. 5. Make a POEM –usually a _haiku_, which is a traditional Japanese poem consisting of 3 verses and 5-7-5 syllables- or a LIMERICK on the spot. Musical Note. Sing a SONG.

Poems, songs, saying etc are traditional Japanese ones- other than a couple I made up. Riddles and jokes.. no. Unfortunately too much gets lost in translation. **WARNING** there is a SPOILER about the upcoming arc, so anyone who doesn't want to know, just skip Ino's thoughts after Shikamaru, k? Sorry, I would have avoided it if I could have.

**Disclaimer:** I own… the D&D reference… and a dvd copy of the "Airplane", the "Don't call me Sherley!" edition. Hehehe

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 11: _Host Duties_

Unlike what most people thought, chaos was not an abstract concept. It was actually the aftermath of a party with ninjas as guests.

Yamakata Ino looked around her dejectedly and longed for the days, when none of her friends were _adult_ enough to stay out past 7 pm and miss the family dinner. Not that most of them had tripped and fallen on the _adult_ side on the fence- which would only happen by accident, she was sure- but their chronological age allowed for adult privileges. Which was what had allowed for things to come to _this_ in the first place. In fact, if _she_ were back to being twelve, she wouldn't have even _tried _to play "Hostess"… No- actually, she _would _have anyway.

She sighed in resignation. Her friends were scattered almost in piles all over her home, snoring blissfully while she tried to come up with some sort of chore schedule that would enable her to clean up before her parents came back. What in the world was she thinking?

Her mind drifted to the events a week before the party. If she had only known then what she knew now, when he met Sakura that morning.

_It was true that Ino came off as a spoilt, beauty-princess- which was weird considering that Kunoichi couldn't afford to be too feminine- but __the people that knew her well enough had learned to see past that. And the truth was that she cared. Maybe too much for her own good at times. _

_And such was the time that Sakura walked past her, looking entirely troubled and lost in her thoughts. So much so, that that the pink haired girl never even noticed her. So concern jabbed her hard and she couldn't resist the urge to ask what was the matter. Or her curiosity. Care, Concern and Curiosity were the three deadly "c"s that invited the fourth into her life every time- and that was __**Chaos**__._

"_Where are you off to in such a hurry, forehead-girl?" she teased._

_Sakura sighed. "I have to deliver some reports to Tsunade-sama, then-"_

"_Hold it." Ino looked at her strangely. No 'Ino-pig', not even irritation. Something was definitely up. "What's wrong with you?"_

"_Nothing, I just…" she sighed again and sat down on a nearby bench. "Actually, I could use an outsider's perspective on this…"_

_Outsider. The word wouldn't have hurt her coming from anyone else other than her team and Sakura. Things were just complicated between them and, although Ino had wanted to believe that maybe they could be like they once were, it was becoming more and more obvious that the years they had spent growing up apart had created what seemed to be an unbridgeable gap between them. Sakura wasn't the frightened, shy girl that needed her boost in order to shine. And she wasn't quite as obvious as most would think. Even Sakura seemed to forget that._

_She settled by her once-best-friend and waited patiently for her to talk._

"_It's Sasuke and Naruto." She breathed out, as though the two names heaved on her chest. "There was an… accident a few days ago during training- but they are both alright… physically." She frowned. "Sasuke talked to Naruto and everything should have been fine… instead, they are acting pretty weird around each other. It's like coming back from the country of Waves all over again."_

_Ino smiled at her friend's frustration. She remembered those days. Though no one had really spent time with another team, the thick air of awkwardness that surrounded Team 7 had given rise to gossip. No one actually found out what that had been all about. "That sounds like Naruto and Sasuke alright… They have __**always**__ been like that. They have their own way about dealing with things… you should know that better than anyone. I'm sure they'll be fine."_

_Sakura looked up at her hopefully. "I guess you're right…"_

"_I am __**more**__ than right. In fact, I can help." She said confidently. "My parents are going away for the weekend. Maybe we can through a party and get everyone together. We haven't had a chance like that in a very long time- plus, we never really celebrated Sasuke-kun's return to the village!"_

_The other girl seemed more than a little uncertain. That should have been her first clue, if she weren't too busy making plans to pay attention. "I don't know, Ino…"_

"_Trust me." She had smiled. "I know what I'm doing." _

Well, that was brilliant, wasn't it?

She rounded the corner to enter the living room- trash bag in one hand to at least get rid of the _trash _that were forming small piles all over the place. Her eyes fell on Kiba, lying comfortably on Akamaru, snoring loudly. This current mess had been the direct product of his idea. And again, she had let concern drive her decisions, otherwise, she would have known that the boy's suggestion was _really_ not the brightest of ideas.

Ino took a deep breath, wishing she could be mad at him, but fully aware that she had only herself to blame. Had anyone put a kunai on her throat? No.

"_What do you mean '__**no booze'**__?"_

_Part of the etiquette of being a good host, was making sure there was food and drinks for every guest. Now, by __**drinks **__it did not, by any means, advocate for alcohol. She turned around after putting the tray with the sushi on the table. Kiba was gapping at her, eyes wide. "What part of 'no booze' do you not get?"_

"_Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiino…" he whined, "What __**are**__ we, __**twelve**__?"_

_It was suspicious how no one else had spoken up in her defense, but then again anyone already there was either lost in their own little world- enter Naruto and Shikamaru- or just non-confrontational about petty issues- enter Shino and Neji- or plain uncaring, unless it had something to do with food. She glared at Chouji who was already stalking the sushi. _

"_My parents would kill me." She fended. "And in any case, alcohol turns even the most respectable individuals into complete imbeciles."_

"_Good afternoon."_

_The voice interrupting her rant was smooth and familiar. Sai had just come in with Sakura and Lee. "Ah welcome, welcome, Sai-kun." She smiled, looping her arm around the boy's and leading him to the living room. "You too, Sakura, Lee- make yourselves at home."_

_It was unnecessary to look over her shoulder in order to see Sakura roll her eyes and Lee smile at her response. She really wasn't more interested in Sai than the rest of her friends, but it was worth getting that suspicious look from Shikamaru. And, no, she wasn't __**petty**__, either. It was a matter of self-protection and image. Because __**anyone**__ with half a brain-cell could see how the boy-genius would soften and brighten up around the Sabaku girl- Temari, was it?- but she had noticed that it only seemed to bother __**her**__. Such mental notes and recent discoveries- about how Shikamaru was no longer a boy and that the man he had grown into was quite admirable- had faced her with the reality that what she had been looking for was really- cliché as it sounded- right before her eyes. It was probably too late for that now, though._

"_Inoooooooooo…" Kiba tried again, this time drawing on the power of the 'o's. "What about the booze??"_

_Before she could chastise him- again- Sai had produced a sizable bottle of sake. "I brought some. I read it is a customary gift to the host." _

_Kiba just jumped at that. "You won't offend __**Sai**__ here by denying his customary __**gift **__to the host, __**are**__ you Ino?"_

_A tight smile formed on her lips. This was such a bad idea… and she knew it. "Of course not…" _

"Do you need any help with that?"

Ino gasped, her hand flying to her chest in start. "Shino!" she exclaimed, then checked her tone. "This is not a stealth exercise, so don't go scaring people like that."

Shino was nonchalant as ever, if only a little more on the disheveled side than usual. "I didn't mean to alarm you. I wake up early out of habit." He said politely then took the bag from her and started to collect stray useless objects, sparing Kiba what seemed like a frown, as the boy's snoring picked up in volume. "When are your parents due back?"

A sigh. "Later this evening… I'm not sure I can do this all on my own, but those guys would be useless, even if I were to wake them up."

"Shino and I can help…" Hinata said, walking into the room. She rubbed her eyes and covered her mouth as she yawned. She also checked on Kiba before looking around. There was no need for Byakugan to assess the extent of this particular mess. "Where do we start?"

The girl's good manners only served to remind her of her bad ones presently. It wasn't just a matter of being a gracious hostess- she honestly liked taking care of people. People and flowers. "Oh, what am I thinking? Do you guys want breakfast?"

The two members of Team 8 shared a look, then Hinata smiled. "I think it's best we get this over with. By the time we're done, maybe the others will be awake and we can all have breakfast together someplace outside."

She couldn't really be certain as his overcoat shielded his mouth and the dark sunglasses hid his eyes, but she thought that Shino might be smiling as well. But even if he weren't, it was hard not to smile back at the genuine and quite infectious smile that Hinata had graced her with. Wordlessly, they started to work together.

"So…" Shino spoke up rather unexpectedly. "I guess you might consider your party a success, all things considered."

If she didn't know better, she would have thought that Shino had just cracked a joke.

"_Success!" Naruto called out, all happy. __His previous two 'unsuccessful' attempts before this one, that had forced him to drink up his sake, may have had something to do with his spirits being lifted. It had to be that, because the fact that Sasuke had not, as of yet, made an appearance seemed to place a dark rain cloud over him. "I have a __**good**__ one this time."_

_Most everyone rolled their eyes. Ino in particular felt like banging her head on the table, not having consumed nearly enough sake to deal with this. _

_Yes, of __**course**__, it would have been dull to just nurture a drink all night- they __**had**__ to play a game. Lucky for her, her parents did not have the exact set required- meaning that there were no really big cups. Kiba had explained the rules- several times, with true proficiency on the matter making more than one of them think 'what the hell?'- and assigned the number 1 through 5 to the cups and a musical note to the smallest one. Then he had proceeded to explain the __**tasks**__- which he had to reiterate every time they rolled the die for the first round and some of the second. By the beginning of the third round they had all become pretty proficient themselves and much less sober. _

_An essential host duty was to entertain the guests, but she was rather certain that this had gotten a bit out of hand._

_Naruto had just landed another 2- a riddle. Thus far, he had given them one riddle already- the age old "How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut"; which wasn't really a riddle, so he had to drink up from a pretty large cup. Turns out the number one ninja in surprising people was also a surprising lightweight. They figured that one out, because for the second round he had rolled a 5 and the limerick he had come up with was "The bastard's hair is black, And if I could, I would break his back, But because he's a bastard, And acts like a dastard, I'll call him bastard bastard." _

_Ino firmly believed that they'd all concede that he had completed his task- even though the fifth verse was supposed to rhyme with the two first, but, really, who keeps track?- but Naruto had jumped ahead of their speed of speech and downed that second cup too. Maybe it wasn't that he was faster than sound, as much as they had been rendered speechless and dumbfounded for a few crucial seconds._

"_Naruto! It had better not be one of __**those**__ again…" Sakura warned, who had passed with flying colors the song task- singing "__Rising, rising is the moon, Large & round, round round one, Plate-like full moon will rise soon. Hiding, hiding is the moon, Behind the clouds, dark clouds, black black clouds, Plate-like full moon will hide soon.__"(1), which was lovely- but had to drink up when for a joke she came up with the pretty obvious word-game "__konyaku, konyakuu". No one cared that she 'would eat konyaku tonight'._

"_No, Sakura-chan- you're gonna love this one." He cleared his throat and tried not to laugh in glee for the ingenuity of his riddle. "What do you call a fish with no eye?"_

"_Fssshhhh." Ten-Ten replied from across the table. Spat was closest to what she did, actually. _

_A number of disturbed looks were exchanged all around. Ino figured that half of them had drunk enough to wonder what 'i' and 'eye' had in common, the rest of them were just too dumbfounded that Ten-Ten- the skilled, measured kunoichi- would come up with the answer to a __childish riddle that easily. But then again, she had already surprised him with easily slipping to a relaxed, sillier mode when she had to pantomime twice already . The first was the old saying "Even monkeys fall from trees" (2), her impersonation of a monkey had been so unexpectedly comical that it was an easy guess. So, she had one drink for that and another for the second saying, which was "Fall down seven times, get up eight times". She proceeded to fall down those seven times, but Neji had to help her up for the eighth time. _

_Said Hyuuga__ shook his head, then blinked a couple of times- probably due to the subsequent vertigo brought on by the sudden motion. He frowned at her. "Why would you even __**know**__ such a thing?"_

_Now, Neji was by no means part of the sober-bunch, having provided the story about his curse seal as his fact that the rest didn't know- which everyone already __**did **__know, so it earned him the biggest cup of sake- and second round having him come up with a joke. He probably could have- or so Hinata claimed- but, if Naruto was a lightweight, Neji was a freaking __**featherweight**__ in comparison. Something about Ten-Ten answering seemed to have insulted his perception of her, because he stared at her accusingly._

_Ten-Ten smiled sweetly at him for a moment; then she burped._

_Naruto had his drink with a shrug, not having managed to stump __**all**__ the guests._

The trash was not the only thing in heaps around her living room. Her team mates were in a heap behind the couch as well.

Chouji was lying flat on the floor, sleeping soundly as a newborn baby, with Shikamaru having found a comfortable pillow on his belly. She smiled softly at them. Shikamaru's expression morphed into a frown and she wondered what kind of intricate plans and strategies were troubling him even in his sleep. Ino reached out to sooth his expression with a soft stroke on the cheek, but stopped. She was so stupid.

And it was no wonder that those two were on the floor, because the couch and arm chair were otherwise occupied. Neji and Ten-Ten had fallen asleep on one side of the couch, with Sai slumped on the other. The dark boy looked peaceful in his sleep, his face relaxing from the forced expressions of his waking hours. Her eyes moved to the other two ninjas; Ten-Ten's head was resting on Neji's chest, one arm draped across his chest. Neji was resting a hand on her waist, the other cupping her hand on his chest almost assuringly. Ino tilted her head at them. The positioning betrayed an ease that suggested this wasn't the first time they had been like this.

Ino smiled, then looked over to the armchair, where Sakura and Lee had fallen asleep. This one was a different image entirely. The two were simply sitting together, heads resting together, holding hands with their fingers intertwined over a very nice drawing of the two of them. The beginning of something deep and comfortable. She was honestly happy for her friend, but something inside her still ached to have what she had. Well, not with Lee, but… perhaps someone special.

Her eyes darted to Shikamaru for a moment, then she shook her head and forced a smile as she caught Shino looking her way for a moment.

"_One!" Ino smiled._

_Shikamaru sighed. "Fine. What is one again?"_

"_An interesting fact that rest of us don't know." Chouji offered with a smile that mirrored Ino's. "Including your team mates."_

_The boy genius frowned at his childhood friend. "Troublesome."_

_In truth, Shikamaru had had it very easy for the previous two rounds. Of course, he wouldn't know what __**one**__ was, because he was used to getting 2s. Riddles were something that a genius like him could appreciate and tease people with, but Shikamaru was never one to show off- nor was he a man of too many words. Thus the first riddle had been "When I say my name, I no longer exist. Who am I?". The riddle was met with silence and- even though "silence" was in fact the answer to it- the boy did not have to drink. The second time they had all- __**all**__, because even the naturally sombre ones had had a drink by then- complained that first riddle had not given enough clues, so he went for something more descriptive. "My first, though water, cures no thirst, My next alone has soul, And when he lives upon my first, He is then called my whole." And it took a few moments to specify that it was 'whole' and not a 'hole'. Descriptions and clues for "sea-man" aside, the result was very much the same._

_Shikamaru thought for a moment__. "I won't become a Jounin until I think I can be half as good as Asuma-sensei."_

_Ino shared a quick look with Chouji, then quickly looked down, her hand unconsciously clutching on to her vest. What Asuma meant to her and Chouji paled in comparison to who he had been to Shikamaru. And really, Team 7 might have lost a team mate, but hopefully no other team would know what it meant to lose their mentor. The world crumbled and reality shifted into something that Team 10 could no longer recognize. No one could or would ever replace Sarutobi Asuma. They were orphaned._

_It was a host's duty to mediate and keep things nice and light, though, and it fell on her to dismiss the heavy atmosphere that had suddenly settled in the room. "And having students would drive you insane." She noted with a smile- and it was genuine because the idea of the genius trying to mentor loud kids amused her to no end. "With your luck, you'd get the loudest of them all." _

_A small smiled curved Shikamaru's lips, recognizing and appreciating her gesture. Then he placed the die in front of Shino, who was sitting on his right._

_The Aburame boy took the die in his hand a sighed. _

_Most had to hide a smile, because, kind as the fates had been to Shikamaru, it had been the exact opposite with Shino. First task had been a song- which drew a huge fit of laughter from Naruto(4) for reasons no one could really understand. Shino had glared at the blond and just gulped down his drink. Task number two had been to tell a joke. He didn't even try, but proceeded to drink his second cup. _

_The die rolled across the table and landed on 5. So it was a poem or a limerick this time. "__The first cold shower, even the monkey seems to want, a little coat of straw." (5) _

_There was silence for a moment, as most had expected that he would pass this one up- other than Team 8. Hinata was smiling softly- knowingly. Kiba simply retrieved the die with a pat on his friend's back, smiling that canine grin of his._

"_Shino here has a soft spot for haiku poems." He smirked. "My turn." _

_Out of everyone, Kiba had been the most excited about the game. Ino envied how comfortable he seemed with being silly and share things. His first roll had been a fact and he chose to share that one time, when he was a kid, his sister had sprayed him with pesticide, because he claimed he got Akamaru's flees in order to skip school. To this day he had refused to admit that he had lied to her even though Hana had given him the chance in good humour or literally threatened to beat the confession out of him. For the second round, he had to pose a riddle. "what kind of keys don't open doors?". It was witty in a 5-year-old kind of way, but he still had to drink up, because Chouji knew the answer to that one- "Donkeys, Turkeys and Monkeys". _

_The die cruelly landed on the musical note. "A song, huh?" Kiba smirked and jumped on the table, striking a boastful pose- hands on his hips, chest out. "__Cherry blossoms gracefully bloom over the fields that lie, High up is the castle wall, where have warriors gone?" he accompanied the words theatrics, putting a hand over his brows as if to shield his eyes from an imaginary glare, "Where is the moonlight that brightly shone up high, Shone upon the warriors who drained the glasses dry?" And for that he picked up and drank- not from the small musical note, but a random bigger one. "Where is the moonlight that might have shone so bright, Shone upon the warriors' swords gleaming through the night?"(6)_

_The kunai came out and, however much they were enjoying the theatrics, Ino knew it was time to stop him. Being a hostess was a fulltime job. "That was wonderful, Kiba!" she clapped. "I didn't know you were so talented."_

_The compliment served its purpose in distracting him. He smiled and gave a small bow at the appreciative applause he got. Hell, if he had gone before Sakura, they would have demanded a lot more out of her. But, oh well. Ino was happy to find that whatever clouds had gathered previously had been entirely dispersed._

_"Oy, Lee!" Kiba called out to the Greek Beast of Konoha, presently engrossed in some sort of conversation with Sai. "You guys sure you don't want to play?"_

_Alertness broke through the alcohol haze for both Ten-Ten and Neji at the suggestion. Lee smiled at them and gave his "good guy" pose as an assurance. It seemed to work. Sakura was just smiling, charmed. Ino had to wonder if it was the sake, because really, this was so much different than the Sakura she once knew, that she had to wonder if she was possessed or something. Or maybe someone had kidnapped the real one and this was an impostor. Ino liked this one more so maybe she wouldn't tell on her. And **maybe** she'd also wait until she was sober enough before she pointed any fingers. She doubted she even **could** point the right way in her current state. _

_"I appreciate the invitation, Kiba-kun, butI will have to decline." Lee said, politely as ever, "When I drink alcohol I go into a blind rage mode and more or less demolish… things."_

_"Uuh…" Kiba scratched his head. "Never mind then."_

_Naruto chuckled. "So that's what happened to that restaurant…"_

_Ten-Ten scrunched her nose. "It's not funny, Naruto. We're still paying for it."_

_"Gai-sensei considered it a lesson in accountability." Lee explained and Neji nodded solemnly in confirmation, then turned to Sai. "But Sai-kun could join in if he wants."_

_The pale boy smiled, as he always did. "No, thank you." He said. "I may not understand relationships and bonds to the fullest yet, but I know that I get easily inebriated and I may say inappropriate things. Besides, I am enjoying Lee-kun's company."_

_"You better not be filling his innocent mind with perverted, Sai… or else." Sakura warned, the glaze in her eyes and the flustered skin making her look more menacing, if possible. _

_Naruto and Sai cowered slightly, having had tasted her punches. The clear "hazard" sign that seemed to glow in neon lights over Sakura's head, seemed to be entirely lost to Lee, who watched her as though she was the most gracious, sweet creature ever to walk on this earth. Love **was** blind. _

_"Okay, then. I guess it's my turn." Chouji said, focusing. "I feel like… sharing a fact."_

_"You know, you can't do that- that's cheating." Naruto accused. _

_Chouji had had the uncanny fortune in getting tasks he could easily tackle. The first round he had **feltlike** saying a joke. Said joke- "Why did the sword cross the road?Because it was strapped to a chicken."- incited a brief argument between Chouji and Naruto as to whether it was a joke or a riddle. The second time he focused on getting a 5, because he just remembered a good limerick. And he got it. "There once was a samurai from Kyoto, The sword he carried was Koto, My blade it is sharp, He was heard to remark, And the rest of the mounts are by Goto."(7)_

_And sure enough, the die landed on 1. _

_Ten-Ten arched a brow. "Ever consider gambling?"_

_The chubby boy smiled, satisfied. "I'm carrying a grudge towards my team mates." He said seriously enough to get an alarmed look from both Ino and Shikamaru. Then he smirked. "Neither of them bothered to tell me that the way I was wearing my hitai-ate as a genin made me look like I was wearing some very patriotic underwear over my head."_

_The "fact" drew a laugh- less than sober in certain cases- from everyone, including Chouji. After a moment, he took the one cup and drank the contents. Ino took that to mean that he wasn't actually serious about the grudge. That boy could be a true, fearsome menace when irked- which didn't seem to happen unless the word "fat" came up._

_A small, pale hand retrieved the die, as the riot of laughter subsided. Hinata closed her hand around the die and sighed. Even as she sat adjacent to Chouji, she did not seem to share any of the boy's good luck. Everyone knew that next to Shino, Neji and Sasuke, Hinata was the most introverted of them. And, unlike Shino, she wasn't unreadable. Unlike, her cousin, Neji, she didn't exude that air of quiet confidence. And unlike the Uchiha, she entirely lacked the sense of hubris and aloofness that came so easily to the raven. She was **politelyreserved**. _

_Ino had noticed that, in spite of her shy nature, the Hyuuga girl had a talent for underplaying how strong she really was. Her strength need not be advertised or made known- unlike most of them- but it was surely there. And, just as it happened with most things, Hinata kept it to herself. The worst situation for her seemed to be being shoved into the spotlight. Which was what this game did. As if that weren't bad enough, each round, the die had landed on 1 for her, forcing her to share a previously unknown fact about herself. Kiba had winced in sympathy. Shino had come close to glaring at Naruto, who had talked her into playing._

_The first fact had been that she had come up with a new technique for Juken. That was easy, if not a little awkward, when Neji asked her why she didn't use it in training. Hinata said that she intended to perfect it first, because Juken was dangerous on its own, without adding untested variables, but agreed to demonstrate it for him- so all was well in the Land of Hyuuga. The second time she rolled a fact, she tensed up and thought for a moment, then admitted that before spending all this time with Shino, she used to cringe at the sight of bugs. Shino had smiled at that._

_The die rolled across the table- "Please not another 1, please not another 1."- and landed- again- on 1. Hinata slumped her shoulders in defeat. _

_"Oh, come on, Hinata…" Ino tried to comfort her, not just as a hostess, but because she honestly felt for the girl. "Just tell us your favourite color."_

_"Cobalt blue." Kiba offered off-handedly. "Most of us know that."_

_Hintata blushed madly._

_"I didn't." Naruto interjected, making her blush that much worse._

_"Because you are a Dobe." A new voice supplied._

_And sure enough, Sasuke was there crossing the room to join them. Ino blinked a couple of times. To be honest she had just about given up on him coming over as it was getting pretty late. "How did you get in, anyway?" she asked somewhat baffled. "The window?" and there was a time in her life that she actually fantasized about him walking in through her window at night._

_"Yes." He admitted, but immediately added. "But I did knock on the door first. Quite a few times."_

_"Ah, yes- sorry… It's been rowdy." Ino smiled embarrassed- because that had not been very host-like of her- and pulled up another chair, that she conveniently placed next to Naruto, pushing Shikamaru a bit to the side. "Sit down please."_

_Through all this, Naruto, who had seemed to brighten up for a moment, went quiet, a small frown clouding over his eyes. And, even as Sasuke seemed unaffected by the shift in the blonde's mood, the tension seeping from the boy had a detrimental effect on everyone else's mood, who didn't quite know what to make of it. Sakura gave a very eloquent I-told-you-so look at Ino, which only served to steel her commitment to see this through. _

_"Well. It was Hinata's turn." She smiled. "Go on, Hinata."_

_The Hyuuga girl looked from Naruto to Sasuke for a moment, then closed her eyes and smiled somewhat sadly. "The boy I like, likes someone else."_

_It seemed as though Kiba was about to mention that they also knew that, but Shino placed a hand firmly over his mouth. The overall reaction of Team 7- new and old- was rather intriguing. Sai's attention was suddenly focused on the table, Sakura seemed rather troubled and Sasuke frowned slightly at Hinata, the look in his eyes betraying a form of disbelief. _

_As to Naruto, he seemed blissfully unaware. He leaned into Sakura, who was sitting on his left side. "Sakura-chan… you'll probably think I'm paranoid or something, but I think everybody is looking at me…"_

_"Jus'shuddup, baka Naruto." She blurted and rose from her chair to walk over to Lee and Sai. _

_Ino used that as an excuse to skip her turn. She had to drink up once in the first round, she couldn't think of a joke and a second time in round two, because she was too distracted by the mess that was becoming of her home to come up with a riddle. And really, she couldn't afford to get drunk the way things were going- other than entertaining a hostess also had to clean up after her guests. "You guys continue, I'll just make sure that Sakura is okay."_

_It barely registered in her train of thought, that taking herself out, meant that Naruto was next. _

The house was finally starting to resemble a home instead of a pig-house.

Ino winced at the unintended pun; Sakura would have immediately connected the dots for her if she had heard that one. It was rather fortunate that she was not in the habit of speaking to herself, like her mother was when she was cleaning the house. She had always been afraid that she had picked up that silly trait on some subconscious level. One of her biggest fears was that, for all her skill and dash, she would end up being a housewife. Nothing scared her quite as much as being average.

"Where do you want these?"

Shino's timing was, as everything else about that particular nin, impeccable, even if those trash bags in his hands were a rather alien sight. She smiled gratefully at him. "If you can leave them in the kitchen, I'll take them out later."

Aburame Shino had surprised her more than once with his gentlemanly manners, even as they didn't get to spend much time together. "I will take them out now. I could take yours too, if you're done."

"I couldn't-" she said quickly, slipping back into her hostess mode, but by then Shino had formed a clone, using his Mushi Bunshin no Jutsu, that stole away her smelly burden. "Uh… thank you…" she said, discreetly checking herself and the floor for stray bugs.

"No problem." He replied. "We need to get going anyway. Kurenai-sensei is meeting us for breakfast."

A lump threatened to form in her throat, but she easily fought it down. Alcohol had mellowed her too much. "Okay, I'll wake Kiba-"

"Don't." Shino sounded adamant. "Kiba can be… unpredictable, when woken up. Have Hinata do it."

Ino watched him and his clone walk out of the room. Curiosity would one day be her downfall, but not today. She would take Shino's word about letting sleeping dogs lie. The pun drew a smile from her.

It was easy to find Hinata- all she had to do was remember where two particular ninjas had settled after most of the others had fallen asleep. And sure enough, the Hyuuga girl was standing in the small terrace, carefully watching Naruto and Sasuke who had fallen asleep on a swing.

It was an endearing sight. Naruto had just about buried his face on Sasuke's neck, his body slumped against the raven in a rather oddly comfortable at that uncomfortable angle. As to the Uchiha, he had one arm draped around the blonde, his face settled on the boy's golden hair. One had to wonder how on earth they had ended up like that during the night.

"I thought you might be here." Ino said as a way of announcing her presence.

Hinata glanced at her for a moment, then back at the boys. No blush, no nervousness. "I'm predictable that way, I suppose."

The comment had a sour undertaste to it that the blonde girl didn't quite get. "Shino asked me to tell you to wake Kiba. Apparently, it's an A-rank mission or something."

The smartass comment made the other girl chuckle softly, muffling the sound by covering her mouth with her hand. "That's rather accurate, actually…"

They stayed there, enjoying each other comfortable presence. Ino thought that perhaps she hadn't spent enough time with a lot of people she could have been closer friends with. And in any case, she felt that Team 10 had a strong bond with Team 8 and Yuhi Kurenai. Sometimes she viewed her as a surrogate mentor. Maybe the party would mark a new beginning for some of them; new bonds, if they were lucky enough.

"So…" her curiosity finally won over- there was that question that had haunted her since the previous night. "… Who does Naruto really like?"

_Sasuke watched Naruto as he waved and gestured in a sorry attempt to pantomime a riddle. And really, Ino might not have paid that much attention to Sasuke, if the blond had been a little more discreet about shooting those blatantly venomous glares his way. _

_"A bee to a crying face?"(8) Chouji asked, looking as uncertain as he sounded. _

_Just about everyone had thrown in a guess, only to be dismissed by Naruto. _

_"Don't cover your head but expose your ass."(9) Kiba tried only to get another 'no'. "Hey, even a fool has one talent."(10) _

_The blonde frowned at him, unsure if it was an attempt at solving his riddle or a verbal jab. "No." he smirked. "I suppose you guys lost, so I'll tell you."_

_"Laughter cannot bring back what anger has driven away." Sasuke said, cutting him off. "Right, Dobe?"_

_Naruto was quite vehement in his response. Not because he lost in the round- whatever it was, it ran deeper than that. "**Exactly** right, Teme." _

_"This isn't going very well." Ino lamented._

_Sakura had already given up on them and was currently posing with Lee for Sai, who had offered to draw their portrait. Though it was a really sweet gesture on her teammate's part, she looked edgy for whatever reason. "I told you so… it's been this bad for a while." She said, then frowned at Sai. "You keep it nice and pretty, Sai… I mean it." _

_Lee looked from the table that the drinking game was still going, to Sai who was engrossed in his work then smiled at Sakura. "I'm sure they'll work it out, Sakura." _

_"Yeah, yeah… so was **she**." The pink haired girl pointed at Ino._

_"Keep still, please." Sai chastised._

_And just in time, because Sasuke rolled for his turn. "One. What does that mean?" he asked, with no real interest. _

_"That means, Teme," Naruto smirked, a little too happy about this turn of events, "that you need to share a fact that no one here knows about you."_

_Something sparked in those charcoal eyes. The raven's brows furrowed for a moment, then smoothed as though whatever had troubled him had been a passing cloud. "I'm sorry."_

_The blonde frowned again, agitation morphing his features. "What's that supposed to mean? You won't even **bother** to give this a go?"_

_"No." Sasuke breathed deeply, then started again. "It means, that I am sorry… Naruto." His lips thinned, as discomfort and tension overtook his body. "No one here knows… how sorry I am for what I have done… and said. To you."_

_The silence was so thick in the room, that only the sharpest kunai could perhaps cut through. The reactions varied from shock to outright skepticism. The great Uchiha was capable of apologizing. Ino much doubted that he would have taken that leap in humility for anyone other than Naruto. Even Sai had looked up from his drawing, his dark eyes zeroing in on the raven. _

_Not too surprisingly, the most shocked out of all of them was Naruto himself, who stared at Sasuke wide-eyed. His cobalt eyes searched those charcoal depths for some sort of confirmation that he meant what he had said. Finding it, he smiled. For a moment there, it looked as though as he was going to hug him, but instead he fiddled the table with his fingers. "Thank you, Sasuke…" _

_Sasuke cleared his throat and held the die for Shikamaru, who didn't move to retrieve it. _

_Ino looked over and realized that the boy genius had fallen asleep. It too a rather forceful nudge from her to wake him, but she did. The blonde girl smiled, her rekindled sense of accomplishment filling her with new life that her drowsy teammate did not appreciate too much. "Guys, I think that's enough drinking. How about, we all move to the living room to chat and relax over dessert?"_

_There were no actual objections to that, so it was safe to assume that they were sake-ed out. _

_Ino smiled. _

_It had been a great day._

Hinata batted her eyes in surprise at the sudden query. "What?"

"Yesterday you said that the boy you like" – and she made gestured towards Naruto- "likes someone else. It couldn't be Sakura, because that's something most of us knew… and you are not the type to cheat. So who is it?"

The other girl smiled again- that sad, bittersweet smile. "They look perfect together, don't they?"

Well, wasn't that confusing… "Who?"

"Yes. They do."

Both girls jumped at the comment.

Kakashi was towering over them, his Icha Icha book in hand. "Ohayo- Ino. Hinata."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Ino gasped. "You want to give us a heart attack or something?"

"Just here to pick up my charge." His visible eye turned into a crescent to suggest he was smiling. "I trust he behaved himself? We have the right to execute him if he didn't, you know."

"Shut up, Kakashi…" Sasuke mumbled, bounding out of the swing, which inadvertently landed Naruto face-first on the hard wood.

That was enough to wake him. "Wha…?". Kind of.

"Goodmorning, boys. Slept well?" Kakashi asked faking innocence.

"Kakashi." Sasuke warned.

"Your face will look a lot scarier once you throw some cold water in it and your hair is no longer all over the place." The Jounin noted.

Hinata hid a smile. "Ohayo, everyone… I'll go wake Kiba."

"Hinata!" Ino stopped her. "Maybe we can have lunch one of these days?"

The other girl nodded, her smile widening. "I'd like that."

Shikamaru was coming out just as Hinata was going in and she nearly bumped into him. They exchanged their goodmornings and he and he walked out into the terrace to join the others. "I could have sworn I had something to do today…" he mumbled, holding his head in what seemed it be a rather bad headache.

"Maybe it had to something to do with a certain Suna kunoichi, who's been waiting at the Gate for about an hour now?" Kakashi said casually.

Shikamaru's eyes widened impossibly and all blood drained from his face. "Shimata!" he cursed and rushed off.

"Temari won't be too happy with him…" Naruto mumbled. "And she hits so hard too…"

"Naruto, will you join us for breakfast?" the Jounin invited.

The blonde brightened, then scowled. "I can't. Baa-chan wants to see me for my physical." he said, then looked at Sasuke. "Maybe we can have dinner though, after you're back from your training."

The Uchiha smiled slightly. "I'd like that."

"I'm not invited?" Kakashi faked hurt. "What a cruel way to treat your old teacher."

Sasuke just rolled his eyes. "You are a really bad actor, Kakashi…"

Ino escorted them to the door, chatting with them about nothing at all and waved goodbye as they went their separate ways. After she had closed the door, she leaned against it and sighed. Everything was back under control. Everything was better than it had been before the previous night and her mission was over.

"YAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The primal scream and the accompanying sound of broken glass and startled yelps, froze her in place for a moment.

So maybe she was not done being a hostess just yet.

That's chapter 21… 21 pages long… and not because I planned it either. This required tons of work so I hope that it's enjoyable for you… Next one will be an Ebb for Temari… :-D

Love you all.

Ja,

M.

**Notes:**

(1)The song is called Tsuki (Moon) and those are the first two verses. In Romanji it goes like this: "Deta deta tsuki ga, Marui marui manmarui, bon no you na tsuki ga. Kakureta kumo ni, kuroi kuroi makkuroi, sumi no you na kumo ni." … for those of you who care…

(2)"Saru mo ki kara ochiru", meaning that even experts make mistakes, also sometimes as a warning like "pride comes before the fall".

(3)"Nana korobi, ya oki" is an encouragement to persevere.

(4)This is a pun for the filler episode "Shino Laughs"… Shino actually song a pretty dirty song. It's one of the fillers that made the filler arc worth watching.

(5)This one is a classic haiku by Matsuo Basho. "Hatsu shigure, saru mo komino wo, hoshige nari"

(6)This one is a beautiful traditional song called **Kojo No Tsuki ****(Moonlight on the Ruined Castle)**. In Romanji : "Haru koro no hana no en, Meguru sakazuki kage sashite, Chiyo no matsu ga e wake ideshi, Mukashi no hikari Ima izu ko.… Uurutsurugi ni terisoishi, Mukashi no hikari ima izu ko"

(7)This is actually a samurai sword limerick.

(8)Means, misfortunes seldom come alone. Romanji: Nakitsura ni hachi

(9)Means, you have to be careful not to expose your weak point while attempting to protect yourself. Romanji: Atama kakushite, shiri kakusazu

(10)Means, even a fool must be good at something. Romanji: Baka mo ichi-gei


	22. Ebb 11: Limbos

Horitsuba Gakuen

**A/N:** The last chapter is over- yay! … Yeah, I think I'll be celebrating piecing it together all the way to the next year. . Thank you all for reading- and I don't care if it's getting old, I feel the need to- and extra smoochies to you guys who take the time to review. Your support means so much to me. Special thanks to **TWNJ** who gets to hear all my rants and offers wonderful insight when I need it. Also making some REALLY beautiful drawings… I'm slowly turning her to the dark side… Muahahahaha She's so cool… and patient. .

My anon readers: **Kakashi's Dog** – You appreciate my hard work? Honey, I could cry tears of happiness for you guys who kudo-ed me for this It means a lot- and you're sweet as ever even if you'll less than eloquent. :ducks: Tee hee. **Mira-chan** – You just barely escaped a butt-kicking by yielding, little chan. Muahaha. Thank you for the kind words, I tried my best to give everyone their minute in the spotlight. Though I think Kiba got a lot of attention to himself. **Insomniac - **I'm really happy to hear you liked the chappie- your compliments enslave me… It makes me a wee bit sad as well, mostly because of that "what could have been" feeling… I'm not a sucker for angst- I like happy endings… especially well deserved ones. BUT I also know that most things in life are bittersweet. And so was this. Chouji and Ten Ten will get their respective chapters… I kind of dread it, because there's so little to run with in canon. You are right… And yes I DID in fact watch Shino Laughs. More than once and laughing my bootey off each and every time. Oh yeah baby! As to Snape… you'll think I'm SO shallow but I mostly like him because I adore Alan Rickman… and black looks so good on a man. BUT his hair is the poster ad for hair products. A hurricane could go through it and it'd stay in place. Heheh And the whole thing of how the story went with him? Puh-LEASE… If you're a bad guy have the balls to stick it out to the end. Such things are not plot twists if you ask me… they are products of writers' blocks who think that their readers' IQ dropped sharply in between books. That can drive fans AND characters insane… And I'm not just talking about Harry Potter here… … :SIGH:

**Disclaimer:** I own an ipod I got from ebay… seemed like a COOL deal… the name of the previous owner seems to be on the back… I have no comments.

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 11:_ Limbos_

Part of what made Konoha feel so familiar was that she was always _welcomed_- albeit in that very unorthodox fashion- into the village. It was home away from home, in a sense, even though she hadn't really made many affiliates, in spite of her numerous visits. Yet now, standing there, on her own, for a long as she had, waiting and offering an awkward smile each time someone would ask if they could be of help, she felt almost like an intruder- that she was a foreign image in that picturesque landscape.

It was impossible to live in limbos- the places in between- and yet she had spent all her life there- not belonging.

It had been over an hour since she had arrived at the Hidden Village of the Leaf and, quite honestly, she was not too sure why she hadn't just turned on her heels and gone visit with the Godaime on her lonesome- and that _would_ get certain _troublesome _people in trouble, which they thoroughly deserved. Either that, or start stomping back home in protest. Surely he could catch up sometime before dinner, no matter how _lazy_ he was. Again, she was finding herself caught between choices and places- somewhere between the sandy winds of Suna and the cool late spring breeze drafting past the Hokage Tower.

Sabaku no Temari breathed out irritably, and looked up at the clouds, sluggishly dragging their way across the sky, gliding feather-soft and icy-cold between the sky dome and the earthly ground. That was a bad habit she had contracted from him and yet had somehow managed to squeeze in her own sense of conflict. She had once heard it called _projection_.

Patience was by no means her forte, so she was agitated to be stood up as it were. But there was also that _other_ feeling creeping up on her, which she absolutely detested. Worry. Nara Shikamaru was a lot of things- lazy, easily bored, complicated- but he had always been _punctual_. That certain trait was presently kneading anxious knots in her stomach. Had he been hurt on a mission? Why wouldn't she have heard about it? He was her contact in Konoha. But then again, mission casualties fell under _internal affairs_ in the hidden villages- even ones that had currently as great an association as Konoha and Suna.

"I was sure you'd either already be at the Tower or on your way to Suna."

She turned to see Shikamaru walking towards her in no real hurry. He looked a bit worse for wear, but good other than that- and in one piece. Relief made her heart beat fast and threatened a smile on her lips. It was easy to prevail upon her rebellious lips, because her annoyance took over full blast now that his well being had been ensured. At least for the moment, depending on what kind of excuse he'd give for himself.

"Where have you been?" she demanded. Yelled, quite frankly. But he deserved it. So her next words were even louder. Righteous anger- or anger of her caliber, period- did the trick every time. "This is no way to treat an emissary of Suna!"

Shikamaru held his forehead as though a piece of his brain was threatening to fall off. "My apologies, _emissary of Suna_, and thanks for your patience."

There was no doubt that he was being sarcastic, but there was also nothing in his demeanor to use as evidence. If anything, the only thing she could really pin on him was crankiness. And he was grouchy at times, but not cranky.

Arbitrary traits in people as rational as Nara Shikamaru were unwelcome intrusions in her little corner between worlds. It was almost ironic that wind would be her mastered element, because she had always felt as though she was floating- just under the surface of an indomitable body of water- and never once that she was soaring. Truth and trust were fragile and she had been taught her to look for angles- for treason, for danger- at all times and that peace was an unattainable folly. It was hard enough to fight against the tides of suspicion as it were- because of her experiences, because of her nature- without changes in what she considered tangible, even in her volatile reality.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Shikamaru asked, looking up at his clouds, hands in pockets.

Now that was more like it. "No, actually." Then she frowned at him, just because it was easy to play difficult- and that had always been their game. "Though it's almost _lunch_ time now."

The boy rolled his eyes, but smiled a little. "I never get any credit for my thoughtfulness."

"Are you going to whine, on _top _of being late?"

It was easy to fall back to their routine of verbal sparring, building it up until one of them would back off. That was usually Shikamaru, because she could be by far more brazen than him. Her upbringing had not included behaving like a lady and one of the most refreshing things about him was that he never demanded that she be anything she wasn't. He had that remarkable talent to anchor her out of her limbos- if only for a while, even if she would never tell him such things.

Shikamaru fell in step with her, muttering something that sounded like his catch-phrase for the female genre- _'troublesome woman'_- to which she sneered haughtily.

Thoughts of worlds and limbos fled her mind at the effortlessness of their interaction- a feeling as though she was no longer suffocating under the surface, but walking on water- and she led the way to the Konoha restaurant she had come to favor. The moment she walked in more familiar faces drifted in her view. She remembered that the girl's name was Hinata, because she had been kind enough to be her escort a couple of times that Shikamaru was on a mission. The others were the 'dog-boy'- Kankuro's bragging buddy- and the 'bug-boy'. And the dog-boy's dog, that had somehow grown out of proportions. Were pets even allowed in there?

"Hey, Shikamaru." the dog-boy waved half-heartedly.

Upon closer observation, they didn't look quite as pristine as usual. Temari frowned slightly comparing their state with her companion's. Whatever natural catastrophe had visited him, it seemed to have gone after his friend too. Her scowl dissolved to a questioning arch. Something was obviously up.

"Hey, Kiba." He greeted back. "Ino's place still in one piece?"

Kiba. KibaKibaKibaKiba. She _would_ remember it next time. It was rather undignified to be in the village as often as she was and still have pet-names for people whose name had slipped her memory. Atop everything else, it seemed to feed the gossip grapevine about her and the Nara _boy _all the way to Suna- though she did suspect that Kankuro _may_ have had something to do with that. Her stupid brother would just yap without his brain filtering at times. Well, she had a lot of ground to cover when it came to Konoha's who's who, but she did know who _Ino_ was.

"Man… people should just let me wake up on my own…" Kiba muttered with an embarrassed flush. "I have told you guys a million times, I have very lucid dreams."

Temari smirked at that.

"It's not like that!" Kiba fended, his blush turning tomato red. "I'm just…" he sighed. "It's complicated-alright?"

"Kiba's sharpened senses carry on to his sleeping state." The bug-boy explained. "It's a double edged sword."

"That's too much information, Shino…" said previously-called-'dog-boy'-now-Kiba with a tight smile. "When Kurenai-sensei is here, I would appreciate it if you showed your usual discretion."

_Shino_! That was it… Easy enough to remember, right? Ri-ight. She made a mental note to write all that down when Shikamaru wasn't looking. "So. What happened to you guys?"

"Ino hosted a party last night for-"

"A. Party." Temari cut the dog-boy- yes, he had just been 'moted(1) back to dog-boy, because she was rightfully pissed- and glared daggers at Shikamaru. "You stood me up because of. A. Party."

Kiba winced something awful at the volume of her voice and Hinata had to sit down. Shino appeared nonchalant, but she very much doubted he felt as cool as he seemed- as evidenced by a few stray bugs that buzzed around him in bewildered patterns. In fact, everyone else- other than Shikamaru- had an appropriate reaction of suffering right about then. And yet he stared back, only slightly aware of the transgression he had committed. But that's how things had always been between them- with her passionately gravitating between planes and him regarding her from his chosen spot with impassive conviction. It was intolerable. _He_ was intolerable.

"I will explain after we've ordered." Shikamaru said, leading her away from his friends. "Give Kurenai-sensei my best."

They sat at the far side of the place, which wasn't too much unlike him, but then again it was only them and a couple of other companies, including his friends.

"Sorry, but my head can't take any noise at this time." He said, mostly explaining, not apologizing. "Ino organized a party last night for the return of Uchiha Sasuke. Sai brought sake. Kiba talked us into playing a drinking game. I'm better off than most."

"The Uchiha has been back for almost a year." She deadpanned. "And who's Sai?"

"Sai is… special." Shikamaru noted and continued at her baffled expression. "You'll get to meet him. I hear that Tsunade-sama will include him in the Chuunin Exam events this year." He picked up the menu and absently perused it. "And Sasuke had not really had a welcoming ceremony back… which makes sense all things considered at the time. Ino did this for him and Naruto."

Temari had no need to be reminded of the menu- she always ordered the same thing, anyway- but she did use it to fan herself. True, she was used to the dessert's heat, but Konoha's morning humidity was horrible. Dry heat she could take any day, but all the forests and plant life almost choking the Hidden Leaf Village made for weather conditions she doubted she could ever get used to. "I'm glad you had fun… All work and no play makes for a pretty boring ninja." She commented, then pulled out a scroll. Back to business. "This is a list of our genin that enlisted for the joined training program. You will find that the number is increasing every year."

Those smart, dark eyes scanned the list. "This will take a lot to pull together… And we'll need to find new locations for the exams. Apparently, previously successful nin can't keep their mouths shut."

She chuckled. "I know what you mean… _way_ too many tips for the next in line."

"We never had this kind of help in our time." He noted, but his eyes strayed to the entrance, a small frown forming over his eyes.

It was hard to resist following his gaze, so she didn't. At the door stood Ino with an older brunette woman. For a moment, it looked as though as she was about to walk over to them, but instead she waved her hello from a distance and settled at the table with the other guys. Temari noted that it seemed to trouble her companion, but pretended that she hadn't seen a thing. "You talk like an old man, already. The prime of youth is just something that happened to other people, I suppose…"

Shikamaru smirked at the coated insult and put down the menu. It was his habit to go over it once, though why as still a mystery to her. Just like her he would always order the same thing.

She let him give the order, her dark teal eyes gave shifting back to the table where Ino had just moments before joined the others. There's a specific feel when someone's gaze scrutinizes someone or something and Temari knew when that someone was her. Ino looked away the moment she met her gaze and attempted to rejoin whatever discussion was making the older woman smile softly. It was a motherly smile that Temari- and her siblings, she supposed- had long since forgotten.

"Oy… are you still here?"

His tone informed her that he had probably been talking to her. "For now." She smirked again. "And maybe I'll stay, if you come up with something interesting."

Not that she would stay- she missed Suna the moment she stepped out of it. But then, the moment she was back, she would remember all the reasons why she enjoyed her time away in Konoha. Again, trapped in between and not really belonging anywhere. And there was a certain amount of guilt that came with the look she had received from Ino, as it had become painfully apparent, over the years, that the girl had grow to be quite appreciative of her teammate- who, for all his genius, was deaf and dumb to the obvious. The guilt would seem irrational- it _had _seemed irrational to her at first- but most people would never imagine how much pain a ninja could deliberately cause in their lifetime- by betraying, killing or whatever the mission demanded- and how difficult it was to dismiss any pain they would cause _unintentionally_. Because most of them could learn to live with their actions during missions and sometimes it only took that extra touch- a stray tear from a loved one, a pained look from someone they could learn to really like- to pierce through them more than any guilt over the horrible crimes they had committed for the village's sake. Likewise, Ino's look had trapped her attention in an unpleasant place somewhere between their tables.

The food had finally arrived, but her appetite had just about left her. "Did _you_ drink last night?" she asked, fiddling with the contents of her plate.

He paused mid-bite and regarded her as though as he was trying to calculate how much of a trick question that was and ways around it. "Not as much as most of the rest. Why?"

"I insist that you join us in _our_ table!"

Temari's eyes widened at the sheer booming quality of the deep voice. She turned back to see the four ninja- Kiba, Shino, Hinata and Ino- cringe and a couple of new ones barely standing with all that fuss. Temari knew all three them. One was that quiet Hyuuga boy- who presently looked like he needed some support, his sensei's voice probably still resonating in his aching head- and the other was the girl with the buns and the weapon scrolls- at that point providing support to her teammate. She didn't look any better than the rest of them. And then there was their sensei that Lee really admired. Again, she knew who everyone was, but the names escaped her entirely. It was embarrassing and she really needed to make that list. Incognito, if possible.

After some light debate with the older brunette, everyone moved together to a bigger table. The guy in green with the looked happy about it. Temari also noted that Shikamaru was hiding behind the menu. "What are you doing?"

Before he could answer, the man was leaning over him. "I thought that was you, Shikamaru. Come on, join us with your beautiful companion."

"Ohayo, Gai-sensei…" Shikamaru said, dropping the menu. "Temari and I have a lot to discuss so-"

"AH! Say no more!" the man straightened his body abruptly, his grin revealing a shiny set of white teeth. "There is no force of youth akin to that of young lovers in their early days. You two enjoy your privacy."

And then he winked and gave them the thumbs-up. Temari could swear that she was hearing something like waves crushing somewhere close, but she was sure she was just imagining things. "What the hell..?"

Shikamaru just started digging on his plate again. "Gai-sensei has always been on the loud side." He said picking on a piece of mushroom as if to make sure it wouldn't jump him.

Even she had to admit that the food in that place looked suspicious, but it more than made up in taste. "He's also quick to jump on conclusions."

"He's had it tough since Lee has been less and less around." Shikamaru smiled softly. "Those two were inseparable."

Now Lee, she was very much familiar with and thankful to. The boy had been a wonderful friend to Gaara and a true inspiration. He was also attached to the hip with his sensei, so the sound of that worried her. Interesting how most of the people that could stir worry in her were actually Konoha residents. Recklessness and dauntlessness must have been part of their regular training. She frowned. "Did something happen to Lee?"

"No." he took a deep breath. "He's out with Sakura a lot these days. Now eat, we need to get going."

"Sakura?" now her brows arched in surprise. "The pink haired girl who only had eyes for the Uchiha. That Sakura?"

"Yes, well… it was a surprise." He said dismissively. "It's also _gossip_ that I'm not into. I'm sure you'll hear your share of rumors while you're here."

The defensive undertone of his reply was amusing. It was funny how someone as detached as Shikamaru was part of the same team as the social queen bee that was Ino. Her guess was that he was up to date with everything happening in Konoha, whether he wanted it or not. All the same, they had a lot of work to do in the coming months with joined training program and the chuunin exams. To her understanding, the Godaime and Gaara were considering using Suna this year, in part because the desert presented more challenges, but also because the situation with Naruto was still rather unstable and both Kages- one as a mother almost, the other as a close friend- had agreed that discretion was a good idea.

Shikamaru got up to pay the bill and soon as he was far enough she picked up a paper towel and started to draft her list. _Kiba- Dog Boy, Shino- Bug Boy, Gai- Loud guy in ugly green_- and such. She was just about done with it too- for now- when her companion came back. He frowned wordlessly at the way she gathered the paper tower to herself and she gave him a glare, daring him to ask. He rolled his eyes.

They left the restaurant, affording a brief goodbye to the rest of the ninjas, and headed for the Hokage Tower. Her mission at this point was rather simple. She would drop off the scrolls she was carrying with a short- almost ceremonial greeting to the Godaime- then get her missives from Shizune- because Tsunade had to do a physical or something- and bring those back to Gaara. In the next meeting, more scrolls would be exchanged as they planed out everything. The number of scrolls that would need to go back and forth, would determine the number of visits she's have to make in the next couple of months, until everything had been finalized. After that, she and Shikamaru would have to coordinate with the examiners and visit locations.

It was all very tedious and- as _both_ her brothers had pointed out- anyone else could do it. Truth was, she needed the escape. When one doesn't feel a sense of belonging anywhere, they can't stay anywhere for too long. That had never affected her loyalty and conviction to die for her home, if she had to. Back in the days, she almost thought she had found purpose in having something worth dying for. She still had that and would always have that; it was her village and country, her Kazekage, her family and friends and students. What was truly _troublesome_ was finding something worth _living_ for. Somewhere she could belong to.

True to routine, she went through all the steps of her mission almost mechanically, slipping into business mode quite easily. And it was not until dusk that her business in Konoha had been concluded.

Shikamaru yawned beside her, standing on the small terrace of the Tower. "This was a long day…"

She smirked, because it was easier than to admit she was tired. "You're getting old."

He made a face at her. "You really don't have the high ground to give me a hard time. You were hardly yourself today."

Golden brows arched over teal eyes. Well that was another arbitrary trait there. Nara Shikamaru was not the type to delve into possibly _troublesome_ issues. "I-"

Shikamaru smiled a little. "I don't expect you to tell me what's on your mind. You are too stubborn for that." He stopped her before she could deny anything. "But whatever it is, you need to decide where you stand. This isn't like you."

"What do you know about what's _like_ me, anyway?" she said and started down the stairs. The best defense was offence, wasn't it?

"Enough to know when something is off with you." he said, not really moving to go after her, but rather looking up the clear night sky. "I suppose it's one of those things that people need to figure out on their own. You are troublesome… and stubborn enough to find your answers."

Temari took a deep breath, feeling more tired than her day could account for. "What if there are no answers?"

This time he walked to her side again, frowning a little. It was the kind frown that meant to hide an assuring smile- because he wasn't like that and she wouldn't have accepted any kind of reassurance from him. "I guess you'll just have to come up with a new one, won't you?"

She held his gaze for a moment, feeling nothing sort of appreciation for the unrequested pep talk. Then she smirked- arrogant and familiar. "You're getting _wise_ in your _old_ age, Shikamaru."

He smirked back, breathing out in what sounded suspiciously like relief and started down the stairs with her this time. "How long are you staying this time?"

"I'll probably head out tomorrow." She said, breathing in the cool air. "I'll probably be back in a week or two."

They started their way to the inn she was always staying. For a lazy guy, Shikamaru was surprisingly chivalrous, always escorting her there at night. There was no need for it- she was more than capable of taking care of herself- but the company was welcome and pleasant. Sometimes the whole act made her feel almost normal and she could forget about herself and her dilemmas for a while. For that short time, she would think that what plagued her was ludicrous in its simplicity and that she already had her answers. It was a good, albeit rare, feeling. And it was at times like those that she could feel content simply watching his clouds beside him.

"Hey! Temari! Shikamaru!"

Naruto's voice belled from behind them. Ichiraku's ramen had two occupants on the stool- Naruto and the Uchiha. Said Uchiha did not look nearly as excited to see them as his friend, but regarded them lazily, leaning back. The look in those charcoal eyes was guarded and very much unwelcoming, as though the two had just intruded in his territory.

"Naruto. It's good to see you up and around." Temari said with a smile. Last time she had seen the blonde, he had to be rushed back to Konoha after that fiasco of a training session. She nodded at Sasuke as a greeting. Really, what was she supposed to say? The only time they had exchanged any words had been during the Chuunin exams and it had not been pleasant.

"Yeah, well… I recover fast." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head in an almost embarrassed manner, and jumped from his chair to join them. "How is Gaara? Last time he left before I had a chance to see him…"

On the outside, she forced the smile to stay on her lips. Even though it had been Naruto that got hurt, it was her brother that was still recovering from it. Unlike the blonde, Gaara's scars were not visible, nor did they heal fast. Emotional pain and turmoil were always worse than any physical affliction one could experience. "He's fine. Busy being the Kazekage."

Naruto sighed dejectedly. "Still can't believe how soon he beat me to it…"

The friendly competition the two boys had unknowingly- and rather one-sidedly- developed was comical to the people that knew them. Both of them had always been the least likely candidates to become Kage, and yet one was already there and the other well on his way. Such things made her heart bloom with hope that anything was possible. Temari laughed. "Maybe if you have a long talk about the sheer boredom of a Kage's duties most days, you'll change your mind."

"Fat chance of that." Shikamaru noted and Naruto vehemently nodded his agreement.

The Uchiha muttered something for Naruto's ears alone, but, judging by the blush that quickly spread on the blonde's face and the other's accompanying smirk, it was right on target.

"Teme…" he said after a moment, attempting to sound menacing. "After I'm Hokage, you can knock yourself out getting punished."

She shared a look with Shikamaru and could tell by the look in his face that he too was thinking "subtext". So, okay, maybe she hadn't been around for the actual party, but she _really_ wanted to know what the hell they had all been drinking the previous day. And so maybe she didn't know much about Sasuke, but he didn't strike her as the chatty, flirtatious type. Especially not with… with…

"… I'll be damned…" she noted, eyes wide, moving from one boy to the other.

"Huh?" Naruto tilted his head at her.

She noticed that the Uchiha didn't seem as confused. He didn't seem _anything, _really, which was in itself odd_._ "Your ramen is getting cold, Dobe." He said coolly and turned on his chair, getting back to his food.

"You guys could join us if you want." Naruto offered with a frown at Sasuke. "Don't mind him, he's just tired from his training."

"No thank you." Temari said quickly. She never did like ramen. Very few people in Suna did, which was why it wasn't a prevalent dish over there. Naruto would complain each time he was there as though he had just heard about it. "I'll have something light before bed at the inn."

Shikamaru shoved his hands in his pockets. "I have to finish whatever leftovers my mother has saved for me or I'll be in trouble."

After waving their goodbyes, Naruto returned to his chair, softly chastising Sasuke. The raven seemed amused, a small smile playing on his lips. It was uncanny, how the Uchiha's body relaxed now that he was alone with the blonde again- in familiar and safe territory. Temari had to wonder if perhaps the dark boy had finally found an anchor to something other than tragedy and vengeance. Whatever the case, she was rather sure that things would get interesting quite soon.

Both of them carefully avoided bringing up whatever they had interpreted "subtext" to be- because he obviously strived to disregard it and she felt that she owed him at least that much for his earlier pep talk. Alternatively, they carried a casual discussion, summing up the day until they reached the inn.

Shikamaru looked up at the window of the room she usually requested. "I guess we are here."

"Better hurry home to your mom, before she kicks your ass." She teased, but all the same there was enough truth in her words to make him flinch. Parting after spending an entire day with him had always left her with a weird sense of something to be desired. She gave a small smile. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks." Then, before she even thought about it, added. "Unless you have time for breakfast tomorrow."

It was possible that she was imagining things, because it seemed as though as his eyes lit up a little at her suggestion and his lips curved just a bit into a small smile. "It's troublesome… but I think I can make do."

Her lips mirrored his smile and she started her way into the inn, pausing a moment to glance at him over her shoulder a final time. Her heart picked up in pace a bit when he found that he was still standing there, watching her with that same smile. She looked away before he could see her blush. "Moron…" she reprimanded herself.

Following her routine mechanically once again, she got her key and went to her room- the one she always got, the one that Shikamaru had gazed up at- and dropped the burdens of her day-scrolls, weapons and a small paper towel- on the floor, not bothering to pack them in place. She let her hair down and walked to the window. He was pretty far away by then, but Temari could still see him, taking his time to get home- in all likelihood, deliberately, trying to avoid his mother. She allowed herself to smile fully now that he could no longer see her and thought of his advice to her. Did he even know what it was like to feel as unhinged as she did? That horrible sense of being lost in an endless desert without a compass. She wondered if it was possible for someone to give this kind of advice, unless they knew of her troubles from personal experience. The thought of Shikamaru feeling as she did made her sad.

The sound of laughter called her attention on the street below.

Sakura and Lee were walking together, her arm curling around his and still giggling at whatever he had told her. The boy was beaming and so did his companion. It wasn't one of those novel-like romances, where all one could see was the object of their affection, but there was a measure of trust and comfort that she doubted most people would ever experience in their lifetime. Who would have thought? As it turned out, Konoha was getting crowded with unlikely romances.

The nighttime had come with a breezy wind that blew through her hair and cooled the perspiration and made her skin prickle. The stars twinkled and the moon beamed in that soothing pale light that could forgive all the nuisances of the day. It was beautiful.

Her eyes did not move as her fingers traced the window ceil absently. Her gaze was fixed somewhere deep within, separate from her body. And yet she didn't mind her limbo too much there and then. The need to run away before her dilemmas caught up with her was not as strong and she did not miss Suna too much. She thought that perhaps Konoha could one day be that place that would enfold her- finally ending that oscillating state of being that was all she had ever known- and teach her the warmth of belonging.

Temari blinked back into reality.

Limbos and desires didn't really matter as fatigue took over her body. The only place she wanted to be right then was her bed. And that was doable.

* * *

So that's Temari's chapter… I had fun writing her. :-D I'm not sure how many of you share my view of her, but it mostly stems from the fact that people who have a tough childhood, are rarely as obvious as they appear. Okay, enough with my psych-babble. Next chapter will be… I'm not sure yet… probably Lee… I still have Lee, Chouji, Gai, Shino, Kiba, Ten-Ten.. Kurenai too, but that one will have to wait a bit… oh and Shizune. There will be Naruto/ Sasuke chapter between, but I think I wrote a few of them in a row so if you have a preference about the next one let me know. :-D

Kisses to all!

Ja!

M.

(1) Stands for "demoted" if there was any confusion. It was just a bit more pissy and comical to say 'moted'. .


	23. Ebb 12: Insatiable Appetites

A/N:

**A/N:** Thank you thank you thank you all for reading and extra smooches to my reviewers. You guys make my day… rock my boat. You are amazing and your support and feedback have been invaluable to me. I am including the shonen-ai/ yaoi warning because I do intend to get Naruto and Sasuke together by the end of the story so I think it's fair to warn whoever doesn't agree with the pairing, you know? That does not in any case mean that the remaining characters won't get their chapter. This is Choji's. the next will be Shino's. Just because I really like him and he doesn't get enough air-time. Also, the image of him laughing will haunt me forever… and ever. :-D This chapter and the next will both be _Ebbs_ because I need two _Tides_ for the two chapters after that…

Tons and tons of thanks and kisses to **TWNJ **for all her help and kicking my off my e-ass when I get lazy with writing. LOL She's made some amazing pages in deviantart http : / / twnj . deviantart . com / and I feel like I have my very own manga for the story. Woo-hoo!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothin'… nothin' I tell you! … okay, so maybe I own an ipod with a guy's name on it… :is STILL bitter and upset about that: Freakin' "M" does not stand for MATTHEW- my name is, in fact, Maria… I kid you not, it's like a permanent taunt…

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 12:_ Insatiable Appetites_

Most people have no real memories of their early childhood years, but sometimes, when their elders spoke of a particular event, a hazy feeling or image would return to them. Some of those memories could be the key to understanding personal choices and desires. And such was the case when his mother was recounting with particular mirth, a morning years ago, about how he had seemed to be afraid of his father at first. It wasn't anything that had to do with strictness- because his father was the most kind and hearty man he had even known other than Asuma-sensei- but the sheer size of his figure. His mother didn't know that. That was the little precious memory that her chat with his aunt had produced.

Akimichi Choji smiled slightly at the idea that his father's _healthy _outline had once caused him terror.

Food was not the means to sate his insatiable appetite- his eating habits had very little to do with actual hunger. People had that one wrong. One of many things really, but he never bothered to correct them, because people had always been so intriguing to him- with all their flaws and desires and, perhaps, especially for those traits. What they didn't understand was that one's perception of another being says a lot more about who _they _are than who the person in question is. A suspicious person will see hidden agendas where there are none, just as a naïve person will assume the best of both worlds where there is nothing but rot. If one is a hammer, everything else is nails. Most people had insatiable appetites- for power, for recognition, for love- that no amount of food could ever sate, so he considered himself fortunate that his own was that simple.

"So when is Temari coming back?" he asked his friend, who didn't seem quite as energetic as he had been the few days pending Temari's arrival.

Nara Shikamaru was a genius at strategizing and finding weak or blind spots during a battle, but was almost frightfully clueless when it came to his own emotions and reactions. Most people would not have seen the difference in the boy's demeanor, but Choji knew his friend too well for anything to escape his sharp eye. After the Godaime announced that Temari was on her way, Shikamaru had come to get him for breakfast, feeling more talkative than usual. Likewise, after Temari had left he again came to get him, even though he had already had breakfast, and just sat quietly across the table, thoughtful and a bit on the glum side. The fact was- simple and true- that his friend was smitten by the arrogant Sabaku girl and he sought solace in Choji's silently understanding company.

Konoha's Ace seemed to have fallen in the webs of love quite carelessly. Choji was looking forward to the day that his best friend would realize exactly _why_ his time around Temari was never enough for him and why he always looked forward to her next visit the way he looked forward to a gourmet meal. If love had been one of those traps that the enemy set- and Shikamaru had always been so good at predicting- he would have been pushing up daises, talking to the worms, gotten a beautiful bouquet of white chrysanthemums(2)- courtesy of his Village.

The question had the same effect on the genius as a sudden poke to his sides. He looked up confused for a moment. "Probably a couple of weeks." He said, then looked outside. The day was cloudy and promised the soothing spring rainfall not before long. "I hope she hurried to the next ryokan(1) or she'll catch her death of cold."

Choji had to fight down a chuckle. Shikamaru didn't do _worry_ well. "Oh… _That_ sensitive, is she?"

"Are you kidding me?" he arched a brow, taking in the other boy's overall expression, probably wondering if it was one of those verbal hooks Choji cast now and then- which he swallowed like a fish. It was sad, really. "No. But it never rains in Suna." He looked out the window again and frowned. "Everyone there is susceptible to colds after rain…"

He smirked. "Well, you spend enough time there to practically go native."

"I couldn't. There are no clouds in Suna." Shikamaru said absently.

The distant sound of those words, in spite of the tease, was a dead give away that he was already on another train of thought. It made Choji follow his gaze out of the window- and blink. Naruto and Sasuke were passing by. The blonde somewhat preoccupied, discussing something in a low voice- so much unlike the usual burst of energy that surrounded him. The Uchiha appeared to be listening without his usual smirk or shark remarks and then he smiled assuring, very much different from the detached image everyone had for him. Choji believed that those two shared the _same_ insatiable appetite that would be more complicated than most to quench.

"You want to call them in?" he asked.

"No." Shikamaru said. "Tsunade-sama checked on Naruto yesterday and found him to be ready to resume his training. He and Sasuke will be joining Yamato-taicho, Kakashi-sensei and Sakura somewhere in the premises. Hopefully it will go better than last time."

It was amazing how Shikamaru, though a mere Chuunin, was privy to information that quite a few Jounin were unaware of. It could be because Tsunade herself favored and trusted him and his integrity, but Choji also knew that it was impossible to _hide_ something that Shikamaru wanted to know. Unless, of course, it was something in plain sight and not that well hidden.

"Temari and I run into them last night." He said, the "and" connecting him with the blonde Wind shinobi getting easier and more welcome each time he said it. "Sasuke has been… _different_, hasn't he?"

Choji supposed that his friend was thinking out loud, but all the same responded. "Haven't we all?"

"Ino was here, yesterday…" He said suddenly, as though he just remembered the most perplexing thing. "She didn't come to our table."

He arched a brow. "_Our_?" he got a nod from his preoccupied friend. "Yours _and_ Temari's?" he specified, intentionally stressing the same conjuction in an attempt ti clue his friend in, but all he got was another nod. Maybe it was hopeless. "Huh…"

The boy wonder looked up at him, finally becoming aware of the undertone suggestion going on. "What is that supposed to mean?"

It would always amaze him how much Naruto and his friend had in common when it came to _this_ kind of things. "It means, my friend, that there are some things that are out of even your league of understanding, apparently. That's comforting to the rest of us."

"I won't even pretend to know what you're talking about." Shikamaru smirked a little, then rose. "I have to report to the Godaime… would you mind finishing breakfast on your own?"

A heartfelt smile spread on his lips. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

The smirk turned into a smile, as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Ja…" he said simply and started to walk away.

Choji looked at his plate and his smile broadened, his thoughts returning to his father. Some of his fondest memories with him were associated with food- his dad treating him to dinner after a small or bigger success, his mother cooking something special for his birthday, Shikamaru presenting him with an extra snack he had packed for him during missions… Ino bringing him lunch when he was in the hospital, after he had fervently rejected the fruit basket. But what he held deepest and dearest in his heart of hearts was that day that his mother had told him that he should eat to grow up and be like his father- strong and _imposing_. When he had asked his father what his mom meant, Akimichi Choza had told him what he had then thought was the secret of the universe itself.

His father had said that a man _had_ to be big and imposing, because that made him strong and, thus, able to protect the people he cares about. Choji had considered that then and decided he wanted to be like his father- that he wanted to one day be strong and _imposing_ enough to provide that sense of safety his father so easily gave to him and his mother. He wanted to be able to protect his special people from harm. Looking back on it, he hadn't done too bad for himself.

He got up to leave, after finishing up with his breakfast- his appetite at a rather sated level. It was early and yet the streets of Konoha were full of the hustle and bustle of the busy morning hours. His day was relatively free other than running some errands for his mother, but that could wait for a bit.

Though it had not been his intention, Shikamaru had just diverted his routine to include Ino. He headed towards the hospital in slow steps, pretty sure that his teammate would be available for a short chat. There had been no major missions lately and therefore no one was actually hurt enough in the hospital to demand the attention of a medic nin. Too bad there was no medic jutsu for broken hearts, as Konoha was jam-packed in that respect. A great part of the population were ninja- which skyrocketed the fatality rate as it were, leaving widowers behind- but were also simply- pathetically- to the matters of the heart, however honed their senses.

True to his guess, he found Ino standing over a bench on which lay a very large fish on it. He knew that it was part of her training, but the girl looked rather lost in thought- not really focusing on her task or even looking anywhere but within. It was rather likely that the fish had been lying on the bench for a while- because the smell was horrible in the increasing heat- so if it had not been _entirely_ on the dead side, it had probably already crossed over into the sweet hereafter some time ago. One would think that that foul _smell_ alone would have sufficed to snap her out of her reverie, yet there she stood there, seemingly unaware of the stench.

Choji smiled a little, because the kunoichi was really not as pristine and shiny as she came off with most people. No one would ever know- because she had made him swear on pain of death not to tell- but Ino could burp louder than any guy he had ever heard after a satisfying meal. And really, she could pig out as well as the next person, despite all her lectures on fitness. "That smell could be a new lethal weapon." He said with a smile, getting her attention. "Did you switch from medic nin to Roots assassin?"

She smirked at him, her expression turning naturally from startled to welcoming when her eyes set on him. Ino had the most startling sky-blue eyes he had ever seen. "We can do their job better than they do." She replied, more smugly than the snottier-than-Kami-almighty Uchiha himself could.

"You don't scare me, evil kunoichi." He declared mock-seriously and his smile widened when she laughed. He had always enjoyed making her laugh- _really_ laugh. Because, like most things about what she showed the world, her laughter was not always heartfelt and quite often awkward. Yamakata Ino rarely laughed with genuine mirth. It was a special honor that she would never laugh, unless she meant it, around him. When they had first started off as a team, she had laughed _at _him. But that seemed to be eons ago.

"So, what brings you here?" she asked with lingering amusement. "I know its not the hospital food."

He had lost count of the times that Ino had told him "food is not love". Sometimes he wondered whether that was part of the reason why she rejected it. Because no amount of food could ever satisfy her hunger. Because love was something that would always leave the ones hungry for it even hungrier, the more they had it. It could never quench them- much like seawater to a thirsty man. It was in insatiable appetite that most everyone had. Some were even consumed by it. Love was not the fairytale emotion before the happy ending, nor was it a bed of roses. Quite often, it would be a nefarious trap, a spider in a silk-woven web and a garden of thorns.

"Can't I just visit you?" he said innocently, settling on a smaller bench next to the artificial pond. He really didn't want to think about all that- it made him hungry all over again. "You really need to do something about this smell."

The blonde girl looked at the odorous fish, then smirked at her friend. She placed her hands over it and focused. Sure enough, its skin and scales turned to a pristine shade of silver under the blue chakra. The fish stirred after a few moments, then jumped on the pond- splashing a generous amount of water on Choji- and started to swim on the pond as though it had always been there. Fish were lucky creatures- especially goldfish. Three seconds of memory and then all was forgotten- no pain, no desires, no losses. Above all, no appetites that humans were doomed to go on a quest to sate. On the flipside, though, goldfish would forget they had eaten 3 seconds before, so overeating could be the death of them. Gluttonous, scatterbrained creatures the lot of them…

Ino watched it with unconcealed pride for a job well done. "That should take care of the smell."

"Eventually." He noted, waving a hand in front of his nose to maybe facilitate the process.

The girl's smile never wavered. "You never told me why you're here. Are you off to another mission?"

Concern for her _boys'_ well being had always been evident to anyone who knew her well enough. She could be motherly when she wanted to and that was one of the many things that Choji appreciated about her. Ino had an insatiable appetite for affection and recognition. Those wouldn't be top of the list, if most were asked when it came to her, but he was not _most_.

"I had breakfast with Shikamaru." He replied and watched as a small frown clouded her bright blue eyes. "He was troubled that you didn't join him for breakfast yesterday."

The comment made her pensive for a few moments, then she settled on the bench beside him, her eyes following her fish. "He wasn't alone… I didn't want to intrude." She said quickly, then added. "You know how lazy he is as it, I wouldn't interrupt him when he's actually doing some work for a change."

There was something vinegary about her comment that he couldn't pretend not to notice. Because, above all else, she was his friend and wanted her to be happy. Shikamaru was his _best_ friend and, though he honestly understood why he would fall for Temari, it was beyond him how he would pass up on a girl like Ino. Shikamaru's appetite was for open skies, fleeting clouds and troublesome puzzles. Temari seemed like the logical conclusion of his non-search for a partner.

Choji sighed, deciding that it was time to speak up. "If you are going to tell him, now is the time." He said quietly and arched a brow at her stunned expression. "What? You thought I wouldn't know? I've known you for years, Ino. Shikamaru may be a genius, but I'm not stupid."

"There's nothing to tell." She said defensively, then sighed before settling on the bench beside him and added. "And _even_ if there was… the time to say anything is long since gone." She intertwined her fingers on her lap, then started to play nervously with the fabric. She brought her brought her hand to her nose and grimed at the smell of fish that had drenched her. She would have done a lot more to manage her uneasiness, had it been anyone else. But because it was him, she just faced him with a resigned smile. "Temari is a very cool person, isn't she? She has to be if she got Shikamaru's attention like that."

He gave a shallow nod. Some appetites were never meant to be sated, but that admission was always hurtful- especially when spoken out loud. Especially by someone as proud as Ino. And just like the satisfaction of a particular appetite was like saltwater, the rejection of one was like salt on a raw wound. Choji had not resigned himself to certain facts, but he imagined that doing so must bear a striking resemblance to cutting off your own limb. It was hard to imagine mustering up the courage to do it and the conviction to never look back again.

"She must be special… don't you think?" she asked, her eyes shimmering somewhat, though she made a true effort to maintain her smile.

Choji realized then that perhaps no one would know Ino as well as he did in that moment. He felt sorry for them. "Not the way you are, Ino, but yeah, she's special." He compromised.

His answer produced the small smile he had hoped for. "You have a kind word for everyone, Choji." She noted, then her tone dimmed. "But there are always people who are _more_ special than others."

"The world doesn't care how extraordinary someone is." He scoffed. "The truth is that someone is always more special to the person they mean the most." He corrected her and continued when she arched a golden brow. "Take Sakura and Lee for example. No one will ever be as special as her to him, but she will always have a place in her heart for Naruto and Sasuke. Relationships are complex things that have little to do with how _special_ someone is, but rather how special they are to _you_. And how precious."

Ino took her time to consider it. "I suppose…" she muttered. After a few moments, her blue eyes brightened as a thought occurred to her. "Did you notice how much Sasuke has softened to Naruto? I was shocked… You'd think he's another person."

He blinked and had to retrack the conversation to follow the new train of thought- wherever _that_ had come from- and bring her back to the previous point. "I did, but that's gossip and you're missing the point. What I'm saying is-"

"Who would have thought that he was even capable of change." She soloquized. "He had been the same as long as I can remember him… after the massacre, I mean."

Yeah, she was riding the gossip train through the fields of endless curiosity. That's another appetite he doubted that Ino could ever sate. Because people and their motives were puzzles that even a great mind like Shikamaru had been unable to figure out. So he settled for simply watching her, taking the time to appreciate her dichotomies now that she was too busy with her quest for the truth- or, at least, spicy conclusions. He wanted to be able to say that it was her way of dealing with her pain, but, truthfully, Ino was just… plain _nosy_ sometimes. It could be seen as kind of cute, but more often than not it was just annoying.

Choji shrugged to himself. No one was perfect.

In fact, most of his friends, for all their talents, were blind as bats when it came to emotions. They could rarely see who really cared for them and were ironically perturbed that the object of their affections was equally blind to them. Each of them had to experience the frustration of unrequited emotions, when all they had to do was open their eyes and see who had always been beside them… behind them… there. Chances were, that that person had the insatiable appetite to make them happy.

"Do you think that there's something going on there?" she asked suddenly.

Chances were, that said person would remain blind, even though everyone around them knew exactly what was going on. They were all blind- Ino was, Shikamaru, Temari- carried by their desires and their misunderstandings. Naruto was blind and even Hinata. He smirked to himself, considering that, in spite of her Byakugan, Kiba had his work cut out for him in making her see certain things. Ironically, it was _Sasuke_, who wasn't quite as clueless as people would think. And if the party at Ino's, a few days before, had been any indication, he was becoming quite aware of the means to satisfy his appetite- whatever that was. He doubted anyone could really tell, other than perhaps Hatake Kakashi and, to a vague extend, Naruto himself. It was fortunate that there were people like Neji, TenTen, Sakura nd Lee to keep his candle of faith burning…

"Oy! Choji… am I talking to myself here?" Ino poked him, demanding his attention.

Just as he was about to speak up, Sakura rushed into the room, looking entirely too panicky and all-around frazzled enough to disrupt any thought. Both of them jumped to their feet, as she, quite literally, ran to them. Her clothes were dusty and a few marks on her legs suggested she had stumbled on her way to the Tower. That was unlike a skilled shinobi like her.

"Ino, have you seen Tsunade-sama?!" she demanded, her voice shaky and her eyes overalert.

"No." Ino said, steadying her friend by placing her hands on her shoulders.

"She was meeting with Shikamaru earlier-" Choji offered.

Upon hearing that, Sakura was on the move again- the information apparently providing some sort of hint to the Hokage's whereabouts. "Thank you, Choji!"

"Wait- Sakura!" the blonde girl called after her, but she didn't even slow down. "Where's the fire?!"

The pink –haired girl shot her a look, her eyes brimming with tears. "Naruto and Sasuke have gone missing during training- we can't find them… I need Team 8…" she explained in a hurry and loss that had not touched her pale features for about a year.

Then she was gone, leaving Ino and Choji very much numb in her wake.

Ino was the first to speak. "What do you think happened?"

There was no curiosity there, just a hungry need for a sense of comfort. It was basic human need- one appetite that was shared by all, at all times, since the beginning of Time. The need to be reassured that everything would be alright and that nothing bad was there to stay. That anything and everything could be fixed, given time- things, hearts, everything that was considered irreplaceable. That appetite would never be sated, because they all knew better than to believe that tragedy was something that happened to other people. The wake up calls had been cruel- losing a mentor, a friend- and had disillusioned them early. Then again, there would never be a time that something bad would be easier to cope with, nor they more prepared for it, if Kakashi-sensei and Kurenai- sensei were anything to go by- both still haunted by loss.

"I don't know, Ino." He said, the forced a smile because she looked almost afraid and he couldn't stand it. "But I'm sure it will be okay."

And Ino smiled- softly, but there was a measurable amount of relief in that small smile. That smile immediately became a burden to him, because he had offered hope. And hope was the most potent catalyst- fuel and fire stick- for all sorts of appetites. But as she have him a grateful hug, he couldn't help but believe in his own words.

Choji stroked the golden hair and looked at the corridor that Sakura had disappeared into, moments before. If things could just go right this one time, he promised that he would fast for a week.

No barbeque at all.

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So that was Choji's chapter. You guys liked it? Hated it? I apologize for the cliffie and more so because it won't be resolved next chapter. Obviously, you guys know that they're not dead or anything- because they are the main characters in the story… :-D Next chapter will be Shino's pov as Team 8 goes out to look for them. … Yeah, I have tons of characters more to go…

Kisses to all!

Ja!

M.

(1) A ryokan is the traditional Japanese hotel/ inn. :-D

(2) White chrysanthemums are a typical flower in Japanese funerals.


	24. Ebb 13: The Little Things

Horitsuba Gakuen

**A/N:** And this is _Ebb_ 2 of 2 before the chapter that explains what happened to Naruto and Sasuke… Hehehe _**I**_ know. I'm hoping the chapter will go smoothly so I can update soon and let the rest of you know. :-D As in every chapter, thank you all who take the time to read the story and extra smooches to you guys who take the time to review. Love you all. ;-) Extra thanks to **TWNJ** who listens to all my yapping about this story and everything and **InsomniacKoneko**, who got an account and I can now bug her all I want. LOL

My anonymous readers. **Kakashi's Dog** – So happy you enjoyed Choji's chappie. :-D Hope Shino's meets your expectations. As to Naruto's latest chapters.. All I have to say is "SIGH!". Ah well… I would also like to extend my apologies to **Mira-chan** and **benji-bijuu**, because apparently I burnt my remaining brain cells didn't thank them for their kind words and the support in the previous chapter… T.T Sorry guys and thanks gazillions. :-D

**Disclaimer:** I own bug spray… . No Naruto characters tho… : gets a restraining order about Shino's bugs: … That was fast… Ahem. ;-)

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 13:_ The Little Things_

When it came to life-altering events, the steps that led up from the moment of transition to a moment of revelation would always hide in little things. Reality was shaped by what most considered _unforeseen _events, but people like him- people who experienced life and change like moths struggling their way out of the cocoon- knew that there was no such thing as _unpredictability_. It's not randomness, but rather the complexity of the equations of existence that the human mind was unable to solve. To solve would suggest that one could take into account all the unique variables of the equation- and that was simply impossible. No one knew another human, another thing or another event in its required depth. No one could. It would be unnatural and all things- small and big- were subjects to their nature.

The forest was still, by some miracle, thick, in spite of the many training sessions Konoha ninjas had there. Trees and bushes, animals- life- swarmed in every direction, filling the forest with motion and sound. Some of this life was his- it was living inside his body and feeding on his chakra in exchange for the services it would provide. If one was looking for something in specific- and they _were_- his bugs were ideal means of information retrieval over long distances. Especially in a race against time. Because, though they had been fortunate to have the longer late-spring day on their side, their time was running out and the thickness of the forest with all its natural marvels would be working against them, unless they were to accomplish their objective before dusk.

Aburame Shino would not sigh or give an outward indication of any frustration he might feel, lest someone could read the little nuisances in his body language- the way his usual small scowl had deepened into a frown or how his landing on the branches was getting progressively less stealthy. Most people considered him unemotional, but there was no such thing. Emotion was an integral part of being human- whether good or some twisted version of what most were even capable of feeling. One couldn't be human and not feel _anything_. People like him though- and there were more in Konoha than met the eye- couldn't afford to wear their emotions on their sleeves.

He looked up at the sun, getting a facile estimation of the time of day. The Aburame had always existed in tune with nature, training in it and tuning to it. Even so, one did not need his family's acute awareness of every little thing to know that they had been at this for hours. The tense muscles, the knee strain, the lower chakra levels could all attest to that. It had been a while since it had been required of them to use their individual jutsus for this long without rest.

The Godaime had suddenly summoned Team 8 to join Yamato-taicho and Kakashi-sensei, with his _Ninken,_ in search of Naruto and Sasuke, who seemed to have vanished into thin air in the middle of training. They were not informed what sort of training could involve the use of dangerous jutsus of this range and volatility, nor was it their business to know. The _why_ was a little thing as compared to _how_. What the witnesses- including Sakura- had described sounded very much like a transportation jutsu- which would also account for the lack of a trail for them to follow. The two boys had not been into the training session long, which meant that the use of a transportation jutsu could have taken them at various distances. What was more unnerving, a transportation jutsu had to be accurate, because any miscalculation could have had them materialize inside solid ground or mountain rocks. It was his hope that Uchiha Sasuke was as skilled as rumor had it.

His lips thinned into a tight line behind the high collar of his coat when the first wave of his bugs returned with nothing conducive to their search information-wise, other than the fact that their targets were not anywhere in a northeast heading. The little creepy crawlers- not that he would _ever _consider them _creepy_ himself- had rummaged every corner of their side of the forest up to the lake-line. If there was anything there they would have found it. Just as Akamaru would pick up a scent the moment there was anything to pick up on. Just as Hinata had been using her _Byakugan _without rest. Until then, their strains had yielded no fruits.

Team 8 _operated_ on little things. They were the perfect scouts- which was why the Godaime had pulled them out of their mission- a week of patrolling the borders of the Fire country- for this task. The problem was that even _perfect_ _scouts_ were useless, unless they had some sort of direction. Kiba and Akamaru were short range scouts, Hinata's _Byakugan_ was middle range and he was long range. In most missions it was either Kiba or Hinata that would take the immediate lead and he would provide long range cover to avoid traps and reconnoiter the terrain around them.

"Nothing in the northeast." He informed his teammates out loud, realizing that they were darting expectant glances his way, and felt a small twinge of guilt at the way their features were contorted by frustration. The role of a big brother was not one that he had sought to take up, but one that his teammates- his friends- had easily assigned to him. It had started- like everything else- with little things; the open appreciation for his common sense and uncommon wisdom, the trust and sense of solace he seemed to inspire and provide.

His thoughts were cut short at the sensation of his skin tingling as the bugs crawled under it. He felt a little lightheaded as they started to feed on his chakra to replenish their energy, demanding their due after completing their long task. There were always some short of bugs inside his body- some never actually left, like the ones that would counter poison and toxins making him quite resilient- feeding in steady chakra quantities, but after the exhaustion of traveling over long distances, the process would often feel like a sudden jolt, an alarming sensation of some sort of assault that came from the inside. It was uncomfortable feeling that his father had assured him he would never get used to, if he hadn't yet. Had it been in his character to employ sarcasm, he would have used it then to thank his father for the heads-up. Having said that, it was also true that some members of his lineage had come to find a slight sense of pleasure- a short-lived natural high- but he much doubted that he would come to share their views on the matter.

"That Sasuke bastard…" Kiba muttered. "You'd think that he'd have figured out a way to transport back by now. I hope Naruto is giving him grief…"

Shino could tell that Kiba had spoken just to break the tense silence- because he was worried and knew that his teammates were worried too. Much like himself, it was the little things that gave Kiba away. The way he was too busy being focused to spare time for annoyance. The way the aggravation in his voice seemed forced, lacking the passion of the boy's flaring temper. "Transportation jutsus consume a lot of energy." He said, in his usual smooth tone. "It would be dangerous to try it again unless they know exactly where they are… assuming Sasuke's chakra level even allows the attempt."

"What if…" Hinata started, momentarily looking at her teammates. "What if he has already tried?" she asked, anxiety coloring her voice. Her feelings for Naruto had been plain to see since their Academy years. That was what they called "love at first sight". Naruto's oblivious disregard for her emotions is what would make Kiba reiterate that love was not blind, per se, just severely lacking in I.Q. "What if-?"

"Naruto may be impulsive, Hinata, but Sasuke is not." he interjected in her mental list of worst case scenarios. "They are fine, wherever they are."

The tranquil tone made the Hyuuga girl breathe a sigh of relief, refocusing in her search. "Hai."

Offering reassurance was one of those little things that he could do almost effortlessly. At least it seemed so, as did a lot of things with him, ironically enough, as he would never break his mask for anyone or anything. There was a time and a place for all things, except for his personal anxieties and doubts that no longer had any place in this world. Because, while he was doing the little things that he did for other people, people started to forget that even a Listener needs to be listened to. Because his _little things_ had come to define him. Once the _little things _became_ habits _they were no longer so_ little. _What was the saying?

_Watch__ your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny. _

Kurenai-sensei had told him that, in one of their rare one-on-one conversations, because, like him, she was quite unreadable and in the habit of taking on other people's troubles as her own. He had appreciated that intimate moment more than his precise manners could ever convey. His family firmly believed in allowing oneself to evolve unhindered- much like a wolf cub has to learn how to hunt and survive on its own, after its mother has shown it all the tricks. Survival would also depend on little things out in the dangerous world they lived in. Sometimes his friends were dazed by that world as though they had been delivered in it unwillingly- like newborn wolf cubs- and, however potentially lethal they could be, they looked to him for guidance. Unlike his family's tutoring, he had found himself welcoming that role and not very willing to relinquish it, even now, years later.

"If anything, people should worry about _us_ sorry bastards. Right, Akamaru?" Kiba added and Akamaru barked in agreement. "_We_ are the ones that have to _comb_ the damn forest, _then_ go on a walkabout mission for a week… Possibly involving renegade ninjas, assassins… traitors of our glorious lands."

"It can't be helped." He said and couldn't help but wish he could come up with something _cooler_. This teammate was being intentionally preposterous and it seemed to work just fine, drawing a soft chuckle from Hinata. To him that would always be more miraculous than a sigh of relief. To make one laugh in a situation as theirs required something that he could never call "little", however small it might be. And it had to be small because he could never find it, in spite of his honed reconnaissance techniques or his strong mind.

"… Then there is your occasional freak of nature, because _somebody_ is _always_ conveniently left around after a weird ass experiment by Orochimaru and his likes." He recounted, intentionally ignoring Shino and making her outright laugh. "And the usual wildcard- an ill-trained, ill-natured, ill-tempered domesticated animal." He finished, before hanging his head, lamenting. "Maaaaaan… we have no luck at all."

It was little things like that that Kiba would do to lift the spirit of the team when things seemed gloomy. The boy really was an ideal friend. Unlike what most people thought, Kiba was actually a profound thinker and a wonderful listener. His advice was mostly action-oriented where most people would advice prudence. And he _could_ be prudent, but to him it was more important to be _alive. _It was that fundamental belief that had actually produced a very awkward moment for the boy when Kurenai-sensei had asked him why he failed to apply the same amount of courage on the matter of his feelings for Hinata. Though the girl was not present- and therefore there was no reason for alarm or panic- it had been the closest he had seen his hot-tempered friend to hyperventilating. Shino had since then made it a point to _discreetly_ remind Kiba of that moment each time he'd start getting on Hinata's case about her reaction to Naruto.

Now _that_ was funny to him, even though it didn't really make him laugh. Shino hid a small smile, burying his face deeper in his coat. He was unable to casually crack jokes and, even if he tried, he was sure it would probably unnerve his teammates, rather than assure them. He didn't _do_ humor. Inspirational anecdotes, information sharing, mild reproaching- yes, he was good at any and all of that. But humor? No. Part of being competent was for one to know their strengths and weaknesses.

Another thing that Kiba had assured him that was pulling off perfectly was _sulking_. He honestly didn't know how to feel about that one. It was rather deprecating, but there was a measure of admiration in Kiba's voice that had simply turned that simple sentence- "You do _sulking_ so _well_, Shino!"- into a bundle of mixed messages in his head. Shino wondered if his best friend was doing little things like that on purpose, just to laugh behind his back at the serious of short-circuits they seemed to set off in his brain. But he supposed it could also be right. Maybe. He just didn't like being left out of loop and coming back to find that his best friend had almost died on a mission. And, yes, that was over four years ago and though they had failed to bring Sasuke back then, the Uchiha was with them now and so was most everyone else, so he supposed he _could_ let by-gones be by-gones. Maybe.

It was then that Kiba came up beside him. "We need some sort of direction." He said in a lower voice. "Akamaru and I are useless in a blind hunt and Hinata is wasting away chakra. By the time we _do _find them, we may be too tired to be of any use."

His eyes moved to the sky as something under his skin responding to a closing beacon in the horizon. "Agreed." He nodded and watched as another swarm of his bugs returned. They hovered around him, a couple of them landing on his hand to covey information- or lack thereof in this case. "Nothing…"

He braced himself for the impending sensation of the newly arrived crawling back inside and feeding. His father had told him that the Aburame family actually had almost frightening reservoirs of chakra, which was why they were even capable of this symbiotic state of being. Anyone else would have died before training was over. What they _were_ could never be _taught_ to an outsider- though attempts had been made in the past, especially during the darker times of war. That was not something one would find in Konoha's official archives, though, unless one had access to locked up scrolls and could also break the code of cryptography used. It was _little things_ like that that everyone chose to forget about and omit from history books- things that would be passed down only inside the family, by the family and to the family. It was why people would never learn from their mistakes.

"Nothing?" Kiba was not just disappointed or frustrated, he was outright disbelieving. "How can that be, Shino? They can't have just dropped off the face of the earth!"

Shino watched as Akamaru licked his master's hand in an attempt to provide support. Dogs were amazing creatures that way, picking up on any and every thing that might trouble their masters. His best friend would often joke that it was him that gave Akamaru fleas and would then specify that _sharing bugs_ was not a bonding experience. He supposed he should have just smirked or smiled instead of asking what possible used he could ever have for fleas. Kiba had made a list of pranks for him the next day.

Hinata joined them, apprehension evident in her features. She was smart and could already suspect the answers to her questions. "Was that the last of them?"

A nod. He looked up at the sun. "If my bugs can't find them, they are not _outside_." His eyes traveled to vague spots around them behind his dark glasses. "They are not underwater. They would have swam or drowned and floated to the surface. Either way, my bugs would have found them.… That means that they are underground or in a cavern."

"Shouldn't they have been out by now?" Kiba argued. "The caves around here were mapped for us during survival training. If we could find our way back then, they can find their way now."

Hinata folded her arms. "There are underground caves that we never explored, though. We almost got lost there, remember?" she looked up at her teammates. "Kurenai-sensei had said that they are a maze of tunnels that mostly go around in circles."

A short moment passed as they pondered the proposal. It would have been a lie to suggest they even had any other leads, so, wordlessly- because they really didn't need words after all those years of being a team- they started moving again, this time more vigilantly. This had to be it.

"The caves are close to the training grounds." Shino said out loud, probably reminding them something his teammates could recall perfectly well themselves. Yet, as ever, they paid dutiful attention to his words, as though each little thing he had to say was a pearl of wisdom. "Hinata, take the lead. I realize you are tired, but only with the use of _Byakugan_ can we locate them."

"Hai." She said, but the little nuisances that set her expression in a look of determination spoke louder. In spite of her quite nature, Hinata was a trooper that few nins could really compare to.

"Kiba." He continued. "Once we have located them, you and Akamru will have to use _Gatsuuga_, unless there is an entrance to the caves close-by."

The _order_ earned a canine grin from the boy. "Whatever you say, _boss_."

Their theory was by no means based on any sort of tangible proof. It was a product of reason and deduction, but that little thing had been enough to spark determination and new hope in his teammates' hearts. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply, placing his trust in his reason and instincts. They _had_ to be right. There was nowhere else to look if they were wrong- at least not a place that the two boys would have survived the landing.

The training grounds came up in their view quite quickly and Hinata paused on a high branch to get a better view of the terrain. Her lavender eyes scanned the area, narrowing unconsciously as she attempted to focus further, add more detail to her search. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of her face and she bit her lower lip as the effort of such a meticulous tracking stained the nerves in her eyes, but she didn't even blink. Contrary to the common belief, the use of _Kekkei Genkai_ was a very taxing process and often had permanent side-effects on the users. Shikamaru had told him that the Godaime mentioned something about the Uchihas possibly going blind at some point because of their _Sharingan_. He had also been privy to a report on the last survivor of the Kaguya clan, Kimimaro, whose _Shikotsumyaku_, the bloodline limit that allowed him to use his bones as weapons, had been proposed as a likely reason for his unidentified disease.

"Anything?" Kiba asked, his impatience prevailing over his previous quiet expectation.

Shino would have chastised him, but then he saw something that diverted his attention entirely. Hinata's gaze was no longer searching, but instead it was fixed on a very specific point on the ground, as though she was entranced by it. Her pale eyes shimmered in the light of the late evening, somehow wider, betraying a no-small amount of shock and hurt. Then a soft, bittersweet smile curved her lips. All of those were little things that the shadows of the trees and the dance of light could easily conceal, but he was incapable of pretending they did.

Most people would disregard the little things in life, ever in wait of the big things. They would wait for the thunder to tell them that a storm was about to ensue, rather than smell the rain in the air. They would wait for the sound of explosion and the clangor of metal to perceive danger, when, most times, the most dangerous things hid in a smile or a tear. Shino would never ignore the little things. He couldn't. Little things were all that life was made of and he couldn't help but have an almost amorous appreciation for them. But there and then, he wished he hadn't seen the little things on the girl's expression. They heralded a storm of a different kind and one that no human could ever find sufficient shelter from. A storm of tears.

For a moment his heart clenched with fear that they had been too late, but then it occurred to him that Hinata would be reacting in a different way entirely. She would already be on the ground clawing her way through it, if she had to get to her ever-oblivious, fallen object of affection. She would be crying. She would be talking to Kiba and him. The tears that had brimmed her eyes had been for something else entirely- something that she was comfortable giving time to. With one look to Kiba, he knew that his thoughts were along the same lines. They shared a puzzled frown.

Eventually, Hinata blinked and swallowed past the knot in her throat. "I've found them."

"That's great!" Kiba enthused, ruffling Akamaru's fur with no obvious sign of his previous qualm. "You're amazing, Hinata."

"… Yeah…" she said quietly, forcing her smile to broaden and jumping off the branch to lead them there. "I couldn't see an entrance anywhere around."

"Leave that to me." Kiba assured her and let her lead the way. The boy's acting skills were something that few people were even aware of, but soon as Hinata set off, his enthusiasm drained from his face to give way to a tired expression that had very little to do with their hours-long quest. "Ne… Shino?"

He looked at him, silent and expectant as ever. It was easy to guess his friend's words and his emotions were plainly written on his face. Because, although Hinata's _Byakugan_ could see though rocks and steel, she had been unable to see though Kiba. The boy had been everything to her- from a teammate and friend to a clown- yet she had never been able to understand his feelings.

"Hinata seemed pretty hurt just now, didn't she?" he asked softly.

Shino nodded. "It seems that way."

Kiba mirrored the nod and jumped off after his teammate. Shino followed suit, considering that his friend had not asked him what he guessed Hinata might have seen that hurt her so. His self-conscious, kind teammate had yet to realize that her guardian angel was not the boy she had a crush on since their academy years, but one that had been by her side every step of the way as she grew to a young woman and bloomed with all her ninja potential. He supposed that some things would become evident in their own time.

By the time he joined them, Hinata was already pointing at Naruto's and Sasuke's position and offering information about the ground's composition for Kiba's _Gatsuuga_. He looked at the ground and had to wonder what sort of thing could draw such a reaction from his usually composed teammate. Whatever it was, it was had to be rather big.

Shino's lips thinned in a discontented grim, before his features relaxed again in their customary stillness.

Little things could make or break someone or something, but every so often he found that the rare occurrence of big things was just as important in shaping the future.

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Yay! Another chapter is done, another character addressed. :-D I hope you liked my take on Shino. I felt this chapter was necessary in order to bridge what was happening while Sasuke and Naruto were in the underground cave, address some of the hows and hint at a few things. What did Hinata see? Hmm… I'll tell you all about it next chapter, because **TWNJ **will kick my butt if I spoil. LOL :-D

Till then, kisses and love to you all! Take care, mina-san!

Ja!

M.


	25. Tide 12: Caving in

Horitsuba Gakuen

**A/N:** Hello there, mina-san! Thank you all who read, extra thanks to you guys who take the time to review. :-D Extra kisses and huggies to **TWNJ** and **InsomniacKoneko**, who have been listening to my vague ranting about this chapter all the way… vague because I didn't want to spoil, so I'm sure I was a step shy of turning them homicidal on me. Hehehe

To my anon readers: **Kakashi's Dog- **Got to it "chop-chop". LOL Whatever you say, Majesty. . I'm happy you liked the previous one… don't kill me after this one. lol **Toi & Moi** – Good to see you back! I'm glad to hear you found my version of Shino interesting. :-D And here's the new chapter! **Saroun –** Thank you so much for your kind words! :-D And, my, you have your very own _Byakugan_ there, doncha? ;-) Well, here's the chappie… after a long, long read, you'll get to the part that Hinata witnessed. Tee-hee!

Speaking of which. In case you guys didn't notice the warning, this is a **shonen-ai** chapter. As in, I'm shipping SasuNaru, serious boyxboy content and all that goodness… or not, depending on how you see things… Still, I hope you guys enjoy it whether you're shonen-ai fans or not. Love you all.

**Disclaimer:** I own a pack of gummy bears… and I ain't afraid to use them. ;-)

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 13:_ Caving In_

The rocky walls retained a thin layer of humidity, suggesting that there was some sort of current running close-by, even as there was no sound of water. There were no bats that he could see either. That was in itself alarming, because a place like this could have been ideal for the night-stalkers, if there was an entrance to it. Then he could scare them and follow them to the exit, possibly suffering a few ugly bites in the process- but he could deal with that. Utilizing the animals' instincts, where the human ones were lacking, was a basic survival tactic. It was also useless in a place like this.

Most people would get unreasonably pessimistic in the face of danger or discomfort, easily surrendering to the sense of foreboding that blew things out of proportions. Yet things rarely were as bad as those involved might have thought at the time. More often than not, they would look back on their reactions and laugh or feel a distinct sense of embarrassment. Ironically, _all_ anyone needed was not a set of extraordinary skills, but a calm perspective at the time to fathom the gravity of the situation. He had a _very _cool head on his shoulders… and their situation was bad any way he might look at it.

"- 23, 24…"

It had been a while since they had materialized in that forsaken cave. It could have been a day or a few hours- he really had no compass for time in the thick darkness.

At first there had been silence other than the echo of his groans as he moved his sore limbs, to check if anything was broken. He had blinked, for a moment unable to decide if he had gone blind by some freak accident or if it was really that dark, then called Naruto's name a few times, but got no reply. Sasuke had fumbled blindly- frantically- until he had found him a few feet away, unconscious, his mind racing to places he didn't like and at speeds that had simply left him dazed. Callous fingers traced the other boy's cold face, hoping that the skin was still tan and not pale and cursing his own physical weakness for not affording him enough chakra for a brief _Katon. _Finding a steady, even pulse on the blonde's throat had come with an incomparable feeling of relief- startling as most everything else the Dobe could make him feel.

What had once been so easy to dismiss, was nagging in his mind as he had tended to those painful-looking wounds with only his uncertain visual adjustment to his environment as a guide. For the first time in his life, he admitted that the _Byakugan_ could have come in handy. He winced every time a muffled grunt of pain would escape Naruto's lips at his miscalculating brush of his fingers over a tender spot, but never paused. When he was done with the arms and legs, he traced the boy's torso, under his shirt, looking for more gushes. Instead of that, his hands traced the fading spiral of the seal on his stomach- it felt like a scar, but not quite… something under the skin throbbed with power. Forcing himself to ignore his fascination, he moved up, where the skin was too smooth- almost welcoming, he shunned the thought- taking into consideration that Naruto was a ninja. Apparently, the Kyuubi did a fine job stitching him back together as it did tearing him apart.

And then he felt it.

His fingers traced a horrible scar, between his heart and shoulder. Sasuke knew what it was. After all, he had been the one to put it there. For a moment it felt as though his heart might cave in under the weight of his guilt. He wanted to be able to say that he regretted it and would have done things differently if he could do it all over again. The first part was honest, but was more that quite certain that he would have walked in his own footsteps all over again however many times he had to and knowing full well what it would cost him. That's who he was.

With that thought, he pulled away, deciding that he had done all he could. He leaned back against the nearest rock, closed his eyes and waited.

"…25… 26?"

When the blonde had finally come to, aching all over, nothing about his voice would have betrayed his previous turmoil. After a small awkward pause, when Naruto had fidgeted with the bandages and asked where they had come from- _and_ the necessary, albeit _cryptic_, explanations- they had effortlessly returned to their routine. They bickered about nothing and slipped into a short, stubborn silence, until Naruto had found a way to occupy his mind, forgetting all about their argument. At first it was chats about nothing and all things, but then he had noticed things of interest in his immediate environment. All worry aside, he still believed that, at best, the blonde's brain capacity was the sad equivalent to a propeller of a toy motor-boat. In _shallow_ waters.

"26! … 27… 27…"

Once they were out of that place, he would need to talk to Yamato and Kakashi about making some adjustments to the training sessions. Tsunade too, he mentally- begrudgingly- added, not having found the fabled _common ground_ with the Hokage as of yet. Part of the reason why was because both of them were quite prominent on the stubborn side, but, frankly, if anyone was supposed to make the first move it should be her. He had gone along with all her crazy conditions and even volunteered for her pet project in Demon Mastery.

Said pet project had been meeting a fair amount of snags, hiccupping novel or misused jutsus all the way. This session had seen little improvement over the first. Naruto had allowed the demon cloak to enfold him relatively willingly this time, but things happened too quickly after that. The boy was just too powerful, so he had to adjust his jutsus to match him. It was working out at first, but then the third tail materialized and it was all he could think of to get the hell out of his way. Regrettably, his _upscale _teleportation jutsu took time to perform and, by the time he was done, Naruto was upon him. That moment of distraction severely altered his route to an unintended location, which- surprisingly- was not inside something solid. He had _no_ idea where on _Kami_'s green earth they had materialized. In short, the _little improvement_ entailed that they were in no need of immediate medical assistance.

"…27…"

What he _did_ know was that they were _both_ alive, albeit in a dark cave with no apparent exits. And that wouldn't have _been_ too bad- certainly, in his time with Orochimaru, he had seen worst dumps- but Naruto's wounds, due to the use of the demon cloak, were not healing nearly fast enough. The problem with the dark caves with no apparent exits- other than the _dark _and _no exits _part- was that there was little to no air circulation, leaving them musty and humid- an ideal environment for infections. He had done his best to dress up the worst of it conjuring up his make-shift bandages by tearing up a good portion of his shirt. It had seemed like a sound plan at the time, but he had actually been a mediocre solution to the bleeding and bred two new problems- one, his shirt really was not a sanitary ideal to treat wounds and there was only so much left of it to change the bandages, if he had to, and, two, he was getting rather _cold_. He had told Naruto that he had just used his sleeves-earning a few jabs about his _girly _shirts from the baka- but that had not been _entirely_ accurate. Worse yet, they had probably teleported far away, otherwise he would not be feeling exhausted beyond reason. Exhaustion was not helping with the chills either.

"27."

Sasuke sighed inwardly and kept his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. Not that the Dobe actually _believed_ that he was asleep. Not that it even mattered that the Dobe didn't believe that he was asleep, because, even if he were, Naruto's constant yapping would have surely woken him. Not that he was honestly annoyed, because the blonde's word vomit assured him that the boy was well enough. The moment he stopped talking, that was when Sasuke would really be concerned.

"There are 27 stalactites on the roof of this cave." The blonde concluded, his eyes having grown accustomed to the darkness of the place.

That just about did it for him. He was cold, cranky and Naruto had been counting stalagmites and stalactites. In the dark. Out loud. "I bet that's not right." He challenged, just for the hell of it, because he hadn't counted them himself to make a valid point. He wouldn't be caught drunk or _dead_ counting stalagmites and stalactites in the dark, especially out loud… Okay, so _maybe_ if he were _really_ shit-faced drunk and bored to the end of the wits.

The cranky mood had not been his exclusive privilege, though. Naruto, who had been lying on his back beside him, propped up at that with a small gasp, as the motion pulled on taut muscles and broken- scorched- skin. "Teme!" he roared and started to search his many pockets. "I'll show you…"

That gasp had caught Sasuke's attention, his mood making a swift turn from irritation to that intense concern that the other boy could so easily invoke in him. Charcoal eyes, accustomed as possible to the lack of light, darted over to inspect his handiwork and the overall status without having to resort to actual contact. It had become increasingly obvious to him that the blonde was very much agitated and figured that he would rather have his space. That was probably to be expected all things considered, but he was used to Naruto taking things in stride and this just wasn't the case. "What are you looking for, Dobe?"

The look he got in response was suspiciously akin to a glare he hadn't seen since their early days as Team 7. "Matches."

At first he wondered if it had been a joke, but there was no sarcasm in his voice. For a few moments the raven simply watched him light one match after the other, looking up. He took advantage of the fire's glare to confirm what his eyes had strained to decipher in the dark. Naruto's skin had almost returned to its healthy bronze shade and the blood on the bandages was drying, confirming that that the bleeding had stopped. As he relaxed back against the hard rocky floor, he also noticed that the light- brief as it was- seemed to soothe the other boy. It was odd, but he didn't linger on the thought, rather disapproving of how he was analyzing _everything_ about the blonde.

"27." He said triumphantly, then frowned at the fading light of his match. "I _told_ you so. Guess you're not right about _everything_, are you Teme?"

At that point, Sasuke was more perturbed by the fact that apparently the blonde was carrying around useless articles. "Why would you even _have_ matches with you?"

"Why do you _have_ to be such a bastard?" Naruto amended with that same glare. "We all have questions there are no answers to."

Sasuke smirked, because, he had to admit, it was a pretty witty comeback. When had the Dobe grown wit? "Some of us more than others."

"Do you _still_ think that jutsu of yours was cool, Teme?" he breathed deeply, looking around once more- same as the countless times he had before- quite likely in search of a new quest, after being done with his stalagmites and stalactites. "We don't know where we are."

"And whose fault is that?" he snapped back and immediately regretted it. It was unfair. He had agreed to be part of the training and he would not have had it any other way. This had just been one thing on the list of the _many_ things that could go wrong. He sighed and started again in a softer tone. "At least we are in one piece."

Another match flickered on, revealing a golden frown lingering over Naruto's cobalt eyes. It seemed as though he had been about to retort and was quite bemused by the change in tone. He moved a closer to the raven and his eyes widened more than a little bit. "What the hell happened to your shirt?" he asked, oddly alarmed.

Sasuke looked down at the remnants of his shirt. Half of it was well gone, but, in his defense, the sleeves had been _part_ of that half. The blonde kept staring at his chest wide-eyed, yet almost absently, until the small flame burned all the way to his fingers. Then he yelped, instinctively tossing the match aside. The raven smirked.

Clearing his throat, Naruto lit up another match, highlighting a prominent blush, and eyed him suspiciously. He brought the fading match closer to his face and his frown deepened. "You look paler than usual, Teme. And that's saying something."

He looked back lazily, through dark eyes half-mast. He found the blush rather fascinating in that light and the way the fire reflected on the deep cobalt blue of those eyes was quite transfixing. To him, that alone spoke volumes about how tired he was. Taking care of the other boy had been an almost welcome chore, but he was no more comfortable with his own sense of weakness than he had been… ever, actually. "Funny- you look as much of a Dobe as you _usually_ do." He panned back. His smirk softening somewhat.

Naruto did not only not take the bait, but proceeded to use another match, illuminating the space between them once again. "Shit… you're shivering." he muttered, a fair amount of trepidation touching his eyes as he reached over to touch Sasuke's forehead. "At least you don't have a fever." He said with barely contained aggravation. "Were you planning to even tell me?"

The blonde's touch felt oddly soothing and gentle in his overtired state, if rather unexpected. Which really it shouldn't have been. Their relationship had taken a very _affable _turn a few months before, gaining more and more physical elements as time went by- a fleeting touch, a pat on the back, a hand holding his, a short embrace. Sometimes it would disturb him, how it always left something to be desired- as though what had once been improbable had now become inadequate. Sasuke was greedy. He had always been greedy for something- affection, recognition, revenge… attention.

"Do you have knitting equipment other than matches in one of your pockets, Dobe?" he countered smartly, finding refuge from those perilous thoughts in their familiar verbal sparring. "If so, knit something warm for me and we'll call it even."

Sasuke's wit did not seem to impress him. Wordlessly, he started to take off his jacket, when a firm hand curled tightly around his wrist. There was a steady gleam in Naruto's eyes that cried out for stubborn resolve- denial- in the face of facts. If only the blonde would bother using what little brain matter floated in that big head of his- just once- because their situation was very simple and he'd have rather not been forced to list the ways the boy was _better_ than him. If it wasn't greed that would lead him to his fall, _pride_ was the next runner-up.

"Do you _intend_ to catch a cold?" Sasuke was curt, entirely shedding his previous playful tone. "Stop being an idiot and _think_ for a change."

"Think _what _exactly?" he spat indignantly, because the famous Uchiha patronizing mode had never phased him. "Unless we get out of here soon, you'll catch your death of cold." His brow twitched as an afterthought came to mind. "You seem awfully fucking cool about all this…"

The raven sighed and forced himself up to squat on the rocky floor. "_Usuratonkachi_…" he muttered. He had found that instead of derisively, more and more he was speaking the word _fondly_. He had also noticed that Naruto did not seem to rebel against it as much, almost accepting it as a pet name rather than the insult it had once been. _Almost_. There were a lot of those between them. "Your speed of recovery is a lot better than mine. Once you're feeling better, you will use your _Kage_ _Buushins_ to find the way out. There's _nothing_ to worry about."

It was an allaying thought that had apparently not occurred to the other boy until then. "Why can't I just use my _Rasengan_ again?"

The look he shot him clearly read '_you are a complete idiot_', but he humored him with a reply nonetheless. "Because we have _no_ idea where we are, _which_ way to go or the _composition_ of the ground. We might cause a cave in."

Naruto breathed deeply and lay back down, looking absently up at his 27 stalactites. "… Ne, Sasuke?"

He had just closed his eyes. Suppose it was too much to ask for some time to rest and _maybe_ be useful in their attempt to get out of that place. Or at least think straight. "What?"

"If you were to die here and now, would you have regrets?" he asked without hesitation, as though it was the natural carry-over of their conversation about getting out.

Sasuke all but gaped at him. This was aberrant. The blonde was not one to engage in or even entertain conversations about death. There was that aura of invincibility about him that would assure everyone around him that 'it would be okay' and they would get out of whatever mess, even against the odds. "What kind of talk is that?"

"Just talk." Naruto said defensively. "We need to talk about _something_."

"Death?" he uttered the question like an accusation, with every bit of the disbelief that he was feeling.

The blonde considered it for a moment, then simply shrugged. "Yeah… it seems fitting…."

Admittedly, there was that part of him that prolonged the conversation to avoid answering the question. It was… _complicated._ But more than that, he was trying to understand where all this was coming from. "How so?"

Another match flickered to life and cobalt eyes watched it until it burnt out. He took a deep breath. "This place… it's small and dark… and _constricting_- and there's not enough air… It makes you think of stuff like that…"

Then it dawned on him- or rather hit him like a sudden slap across the face. He stared at the blonde. "Dobe… are you claustrophobic?"

Naruto's reaction was very much typical this time. "I'm not anything-_phobic_, Teme!" he fended in a loud voice that echoed in an even louder repetition in the caves, making him wince. He cleared his throat and spoke more quietly, albeit nervously. "I just don't like small, dark places."

"Then you would probably make for a disgruntled guest in most of Orochimaru's hideouts." He taunted, but Naruto did not seem to share the jest. He sighed, deciding that maybe- once again- the time had come for him to take another step out of his comfort zone, if that would alleviate the blonde's current unease. It was long, drawn-out process, but it came with a measure of redemption, to be able to give Naruto what he wanted of him. "I would have regrets."

The honest reply gave a spark to his stare- of interest, of concern, of something that had not been there before. "Like what?"

Soulful admissions were heralds of trouble, but more and more he had found that- mostly with Naruto, but also with Kakashi- he wasn't finding it as terrible to just open up. Maybe it was still not his definition of _fun, _but far from painful as it once had been. And maybe in the process he could exorcize some of his pestering demons too. "I haven't really done much with my life." He confessed, not without discomfort. He paused a moment, stealing a quick glance at the blonde, as though waiting for a stupid tease, but all he found there was expectation and sympathy. It was enough to continue. "After the massacre, all I thought about was revenge… That gave me a purpose and a reason to survive… but not a life."

Any previous thoughts and apprehension regarding darkness and constriction had dissipated in the face of the revelations. "Go on…" he said softly.

The tone was intentionally gentle and he knew it. It was as though Naruto was afraid that the sound of his voice would cause him to recoil back into his solitary silence. It almost did. Because Sasuke didn't like feeling vulnerable, nor did he know what more he was expected to say. "If I were to die here… I would regret never having experienced all those things that my mother wanted to be there for."

"Like getting married and having a bunch of snotty kids of your own?" he asked, a smile ringing in his voice, as he fidgeted about, trying to find a comfortable spot.

He smiled for a moment at the thought, then grimed at the reality of it. "We never got that far down the list…" he said, an all too familiar lump nestling in his throat, but he swallowed past it. "I suppose…" he started tightly, "… the issue was not so much big things at the time. My mother used to talk to me about simple stuff and had a wicked sense of humor about it too." He smiled at the memory. "I remember how she used to tease me _mercilessly_ about getting my first kiss…" his voice trailed off and his blush turned nuclear-fusion-red.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one to flashback to that accidental kiss they had shared way back in their academy years, because Naruto was suddenly all too quiet and still. They had meticulously managed to avoid ever mentioning that since it had happened, but the fact was that they had been each other's first in the kissing department- accidental and not by choice as it were.

Sasuke pushed past the mention fast as he could, opting to pretend that he had never addressed the issue. When in doubt, don't wait for the train wreck of thought to catch up with you. "Sometimes I'm glad they are not here anymore to see…" his voice trailed off again, this time because there were too many things he was glad his parents weren't there to witness. What he had done. Who he had become. How lost he was. He shook his head, as though those horrible thoughts were crows nestling on his mind that he could startle away. "What about you?"

The question snapped Naruto out of his reverie. "Me?" he said with a twinge of surprise to be asked, then looked pensive. "I guess I feel the same way about a lot of things. I've spent as much time chasing after you as you have being the avenger."

"I never asked you to." Sasuke interred, sounding a little too defensive for his liking.

"I know, Teme." He smiled a little. "If I were to die now, I think I'd be somewhat okay with it."

The sincerity behind those words drew a frown from the raven. "That makes no sense, Dobe." He chastised, because he didn't _want_ him to be 'okay' with it; because as long as he wasn't 'okay' with dying, he would always survive and come back; because it was inexplicably important to him that the baka survived any and all things- including his stupidity. Out loud he said, "You haven't had a life nor fulfilled your dream to become Hokage. You've been yapping about it forever- you had better do it."

Naruto smirked for a moment, then his lips softened into a genuine smile. It was the kind of smile, reserved just for moments like this, and it forced all sorts of weird sensations upon Sasuke. Because it was special; and because it was just for him. "Yeah… But I got _you_ back, didn't I?"

Dark, perfect eyebrows, mingled in a perfect scowl. Again, he didn't know what he was expected to say to that. He watched Naruto watch him back with a serious expression that resonated nervous resolve not to take his words back. A few moments went by like that in silence and eventually, the blonde's gaze broke away to study a vague spot overhead. He _did_ want to say something- _anything_- because those words meant so much to him. But if he was _bad _with soulful admissions, he was _terrible_ with conveying emotions. Especially when he felt so much. He wouldn't know where to start, but sometimes _anything_ was better than silence- and such was the case here. He could tell by the way the soft smile thinned to a forced one, the way the jaw set and his muscles tensed.

"You are not right about everything." Naruto said after a long moment. "You lost the bet about the stalactites."

If it was an honest change of subject or a pun, he couldn't really tell, but either way guilt vied within him. It was an emotion he had in generous reserves. "I'm right about the important things."

"What if you're _wrong_ and there is no exit from this place, hm?" he challenged, this voice acquiring a sharp edge. "Hell, as far as I know, we could be dead and spending eternity with you is my punishment for vandalizing the Hokage monument and stuff."

It would have sounded amusing and Sasuke would have plenty to say about who had it worse if they _were _dead, if he hadn't heard the twist to bitterness and dejection. "We are not _dead_, _Usuratonkachi_."

The pet name he had easily accepted before now irked the blonde, as though Sasuke had no right to use it. "How would _you_ know? Have you been dead before and it just wasn't like that?" he jabbed, "For all I know, I could have died because of your _stupid_ jutsu and never know what it's like to kiss a _girl_. Someone _special_."

The last part had been a pretty cheap shot. _Special_… Now he was shocked that Naruto even touched on the kissing subject after _his _verbal mishap, but the whole emphasis things felt like a ridiculous attempt to negate him, as though that kiss could be used as a was to hurt him. His frown deepened, because for some reason the boy had succeeded in his petty task. _Hurt_ might have been a rather strong word to employ, but he was definitely _affected_.

"And now with Sakura-chan all hooked up with Lee, it seriously limits my options." He continued, but this time, he sounded honestly troubled.

Even so, Sasuke's brow twitched, but he bit his tongue and remained quiet. He just couldn't seem to say the right thing, no matter how hard he tried anyway, so next best plan was to stop _trying_ and attempt to simply listen. By keeping his mouth shut, he could also refrain from coming off as completely heartless, which- unlike saying the right thing- came damn naturally to him. It was much less complicated to just nod and shrug his shoulders- a lot- at the absurdities the blonde was spewing. When they were out, he could just ignore Kakashi, go back to his room, lock himself in one of his many closets and have a tantrum- with no expletives omitted.

Naruto, however, was oblivious to any of that, so the raven's verbal abstinence neither impressed nor deterred him. "I mean- honestly?"

"Why stop now?" Sasuke muttered, under his breath.

He blinked slowly, as though processing the thought before actually uttering it- which was something new and innovate for him. "I had never imagined it could be anyone but Sakura." Then added dismissively, "The whole thing with you was one of those freak accidents, so it doesn't count as a _real _kiss."

Charcoal eyes narrowed at him.

"Tenten is _sort_ of with Neji- you know that, right?" he waved his hand vaguely at the 'sort of' part, as neither of the two had confirmed it, but most everyone could tell.

Running his mouth with gossip was not his sport of choice. "I wouldn't want a girl with that many _sharp_ objects on demand, if I was running my mouth like _you_ do, Dobe." He noted dryly.

Naruto nodded, the insult going right over his head. "Ino… it just wouldn't work, alright? Then there's Hinata- but you can never tell what goes on through the girl's head. Must be that who Hyuuga thing."

Sasuke just glared, because there _was_ nothing else to do in the face of utter ignorance.

"Oh, shut up, Teme- you're like that too. No one is challenging your pedestal in obscure ways." The blonde rolled his eyes, entirely misreading his reaction.

"I didn't realize I was in your list of possible _alternatives_ to Sakura." He deadpanned.

"Huh?" he looked entirely clueless, but then it hit him and his blush turned an unnamed, luminescent shade of red. "No, no no no… Just _no_!That's not what I meant, you pervert!"

Now Sasuke turned to him, having had it with constantly being on the defensive and easily assuming his natural stalking tone. "If it's going to shut you up, _I_'ll kiss you, Dobe."

Naruto froze. For a moment he seemed entirely lost, but then a nervous smile settled on his lips. "This is one of those dreams, isn't it?"

A delicate arch of brows. "A dream?"

Something akin to relief treaded at the edge of his expression, like he had just found the traces to the solution of an unsolvable puzzle. "It all makes sense now… why you act almost descent, why I think you look so hot with your shirt torn up…"

Sasuke's eyes widened impossibly. It all made his heart feel like it'd jump out of his chest at any minute now, his pulse thumbing painfully at the sides of his neck. "… Excuse me?"

Naruto, however, seemed to be carrying a one-sided conversation with himself, effectively allaying him more than any encouraging words and carefully laid plans he had heard until then. "Which means, I'm also not in this place… I'll just have to wait a while to wake up… I _did_ set my alarm before bed, didn't I?"

"Dobe, this is very much _real_." Sasuke said carefully, considering the possibility that perhaps the blonde was spiking a fever. They needed that, like they needed the plague. He moved closer tentatively, unsure of the reaction he might get. "I'll check you for a fever, okay?"

Naruto frowned uncomprehendingly at him. "Fever?"

"You seem to be delirious… fever can do that." Sasuke said, reaching out and touching his forehead, hoping that the skin would not feel as awfully hot as the delirium might indicate. Then he blinked. "Your temperature is fine…" he said with unconcealed surprise.

_A dream…? _

He remembered then, a few weeks before, that Naruto had been a little too unnerved about a dream he had about a _guy_. Of course, that kind of information had required more coaxing that had even imagined himself capable of. It had never occurred to him that the dream might have been of him, but that _would_ explain a lot about that morning.

Naruto himself was on the fast track from uneasiness to mortification. "Uh… Can we forget about all that?" he started slowly, his body language suggesting that he was wondering if the Uchiha would just jump over and beat the crap out of him. "I know what you're thinking- the _dream_, right?"

Sasuke was very quiet, his eyes slowly moving to the blonde at the mention. His chest felt constricted and his breathing heavy.

"Or maybe you weren't- in which case you would be right, because you shouldn't think about stupid dreams." He said quickly, entirely unnerved by the silent treatment. "But if you were- _if_- you have nothing to worry about- because a dream is just weird stuff that the mind comes up with and they don't even make sense- like, that one time, there was that huge cup of ramen- I've told you about this one , right?- that grew arms and legs and started chasing after me- because I was supposedly the missing topping that would make the ramen perfect- which is silly- or really is not because 'naruto' is a typical ramen topping- but I am a ninja and ninja's make horrible toppings- unless they are atop other ninjas in which case things get messy and violent."

Sasuke arched a brow and waited for Naruto to catch his breath and realize what he had just said, all this time remaining quiet.

And surely enough it _did_ register. The caves lit up with his blush. "- _atop_ each other when they _fight_! _Nothing_ more- just _fight_ until one of them is _dead_. Not that that was the case with you and me- or that there is anything like '_you and me_'- you know? I mean we did fight but we did other stuff too and that brought us closer."

By that time Sasuke's head was beginning to hurt with the mother of all headaches, a vertiginous sensation pinning him in place as the world around him span in an ungodly speed. Still a part of him _had_ to be amused at the way the blonde seemed to be digging himself deeper and deeper into that hole.

"ARGH!" Naruto yelled in frustration and the caves echoed with his voice all over again, but this time he didn't seem to notice. "Not _stuff-_ but stuff like _eating_ together and _talking_ a lot and _arguing_ and _sparring_- you know- the kind of things that _best_ _friends_ do, especially _male_ ones- because girls are weird with the diaries and bonding over bags of candy and-"

There was a moment entirely blank in his mind, his intentions untuned with his body, because by the time he blinked, Naruto's startled face was entirely too close. The blonde was breathing too fast, his breaths catching in his throat and feeling warm on the raven's face. The thumbing sound, if he listened carefully, was the boy's heart drumming inside his chest- and he didn't have to listen too hard, because it was dark, quiet and there was nothing, no-one, but the two of them. Even at their most horrible fights, Naruto had never looked it him with panic-stricken eyes like that. He had backed against the nearest wall, silently watching him as though he was about to crush him with a single look, with those raspy breaths thundering inside the cave.

"Sasuke…" he tried in that winded voice, that made him seem so utterly fragile, in spite of all his strength. "What are you doing?"

The question was uttered almost like a whisper. The immense power he seemed to have then and there over Naruto- who was never afraid of anyone, never backed up for anyone, always pushed forth against anything- stirred the strangest feelings in him. Sasuke's very nature was predatorial and yet it had been Naruto who had been after him all those years- Naruto had been the hunter. It felt _right_ for their roles to be reversed, even though he knew perfectly well that he was gallivanting through unknown territory, which could only mean trouble. And this wasn't simply _unknown_, it was _uncharted_- for both of them.

And yet, even though all those warnings were flashing frantically in his mind, he closed the remaining space between them, his lips brushing the blonde's. The lips were dry and full, warm from the hot breaths that quickened. It was nothing more than a feather soft touch, not demanding or even suggesting there would be anything more to it, but it felt natural. It felt like he had been wanting- planning- to do this all along and couldn't exactly remember what had held him back.

"… Sasuke…?" Naruto asked so quietly, it might as well had been one of those breaths, his lips unintentionally moving over the raven's.

"Don't you ever shut up?" he said in a low voice against lips that were getting humid with his breath, then covered the blonde's mouth with his, having any further question become lost in his mouth.

What he did, he did selfishly, opting to disregard the pleading tone in the way Naruto had said his name. If anything, it had quite the paradoxical effect of ascertaining his choice. It was a horrible impulse of his, to keep pushing things to their breaking point, then push a bit more. He had been self-destructive for as long as he could remember himself. And now it had all come to head, because Naruto had been showing an amount of commitment that he could not bring himself to accept that he was worthy of. Because he wanted to see for himself how far that commitment could go- how much it could take and still survive. Because Sasuke was no longer the fugitive that Naruto was trying to bering back- he had returned and now the blonde had to face up with _who _exactly he had tried so hard to save. Even after all this time _maybe_ what he needed was to find the breaking point of their relationship.

What he was not prepared for, was the pure acceptance that literally enfolded him and the depth of emotions that washed over him when Naruto's eyes fell shut, as he let go of any fear. Instead of pushing back, instead of _breaking_, he gave Sasuke his trust. And Sasuke couldn't decide if the feeling was exhilarating him or crushing him under the soft, inhuman weight of those lips.

It wasn't that he'd be unwilling to stop doing what he was doing. He _would_ have stopped, if he were asked to. But he wasn't. He was invited closer- closer than he had ever been to anyone or anything, so close it hurt- as Naruto's hands pulled on the remnants of his shirt. This wasn't how it was supposed to go- it wasn't _him_ that was supposed to cave in and break. He didn't really have the slightest inclination to stop himself either, thoughtlessly shedding any short of mental guard against being excessive. He shouldn't have, but did, forcefully ignoring the small voice in the back of his mind that said this was a _bad_ idea. It was an easy surrender- perhaps _too _easy- as they slid on the cold, stone floor, hands clumsily exploring bodies they were all too familiar with, yet, at the same time, not at all, lips moving in ungainly kisses fuelled by raw desire.

_Desire…_

That wasn't even something he had even experienced before. His foolish certainty of control and what he was capable of feeling was caving in at the smooth texture of the tan skin against his pale body, with each kiss that deepened ineptly. He didn't mind. He just wanted to exist in that mind-numbing sensation, until reality caught up with them. And maybe he'd find that their relationship- the thing he held dearest in this world of all that he had been left with- might have also caved in. The notion clutched agonizingly on his chest.

The call for air forced him to pull back, breathing heavily, still rather sprawled over the blonde. He kept his eyes closed, because, even in the darkness, he knew that there was no hiding place and he was afraid. He was more afraid than Naruto had looked when he had decided to test both their limits.

Naruto licked his lips and tried to even his labored breathing. The blonde was staring straight up at him- he wasn't a coward like him- taking his time, with an unusual patience, before he spoke up. "Why."

It wasn't a question. He owed him that much. And yet he didn't know what to say. How to say it. Everything was a jumble of thoughts and regrets in his mind. But he already knew that he was self-destructive, already knew that he would say the _wrong_ thing. "I told you." He said, eyes finally opening to meet resolved cobalt with opaque charcoal. "I would kiss you, if it would shut you up."

Those eyes searched his for a very long moment, then he nodded tensely and pulled himself from underneath him unsteadily. "I see." He said in a tone that had never before left his mouth.

Sasuke sat on his heels, under a stare that felt more scorching than the hottest sun. He waited for questions and accusations that never came. At long last, he looked up to find Naruto stripping off his make-shift bandages and throwing them down with contempt, as though he wanted to get rid of any part of Sasuke that still clang on him. The sight- the notion- made his heart cave in. He wasn't any good with words, but the idea that he was successful in breaking _them_ sent a surge of terror through him. He had pushed things, yes, but maybe it was with the certainty that it wasn't a gamble- that Naruto's loyalty to him could survive _anything_. And maybe- just maybe- he had assumed too much.

"Dobe-" he started and received a menacing glare. "Naruto." He amended. "I-"

He had every intention to try and explain that _why_- to both of them- but then the cave started to shake, rocks falling from all over. Instinctively, he pulled Naruto to him- to safety, because wanting to protect him had become an unexpected need- and the blonde let him. Whether it was because he was too drained to fight him off, because he didn't care, or because he didn't think, it didn't matter all that much to Sasuke. He enveloped him with his body, part of him wanting to show him- make him believe- that he was capable of protecting him; remind him that, though he was bad with words, his actions could still speak for him.

The cloud of dust soon cleared to reveal Kiba and Akamaru in what seemed to be the last traces of a setting sun. The boy arched a brow at the sight of them. "Well, well… I hope I didn't interrupt, but it was about time you guys were rescued." He offered with his trademark canine grin.

Naruto straightened his body and pushed away from Sasuke unnecessarily hard. "Nothing to interrupt, Kiba." He said in a flat, tense tone and jumped out of the newly formed exit.

Kiba turned his attention to the raven, and arched a brow at the torn up shirt. "Nice look you're sporting there, Sasuke. I'm sure the ladies will love it." then his tone darkened, the smile fading. "I don't know what happened down here, but there seem to be two people hurt over it already."

Sasuke scoffed and moved towards the opening. The more the time went by from that moment- that kiss- the more the fresh air cooled his lips, it was all beginning to sink in. What he had done. What it could mean. He hesitated before stepping out, his heartbeat climbing in the face of the new situation. He could feel Kiba's eyes still on him, but ignored the stare. He watched Hinata and Shino as they talked quietly to Naruto, who looked worn out.

The cool evening breeze felt refreshing on his skin, the dim light was easy on his eyes, yet, though he was outside, he started to share Naruto's claustrophobia. It was as though invisible walls were closing in around him, smothering him in a cell of his own making. Because as his eyes fell on the blonde, all he could see there was an uncrossable distance that had never been there before, not even in their time apart. Even when he had chosen Orochimaru or his village, even when he had raised his blade against Naruto, he had always known that their bond was there- like a ball of unbreakable thread that would just unfold as they moved away from each other, but would keep them connected; _tied_ to each other. Maybe he had succeeded in breaking the _unbreakable_.

The happiness he had allowed himself to experience the past few months seemed now like a castle of flimsy glass that caved in under the weight of his choices- its shards piercing through his heart.

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… And on that note, the chapter ends… I hope you guys are still talking to me… Ahem. On MY defence, it was a HUGE chapter… I had intended the next one to be Kakashi- yes, I know I'm not done with everyone else, but I WILL be by the end of the story- but it will be Kiba instead. Because Kiba has a _nose_ for all things. ;-)

I hope you all enjoyed it… This was the first actual shonen-ai moment, but the way I'm writing the story it couldn't all just be blue skies, green lights all of the sudden… so gomen for the necessary angst there. I'm really not too fond of angst myself… really… My muse is kinda tho… LOL :ducks: Ahem!

Love and kisses to you all!

Ja!

M.


	26. Ebb 14: The Fine Lines

**A/N:** Hey, mina-san! I realize that last chapter was a bit angsty, and this one will see little improvement, BUT… did you guys see the trailer for the second Shippuuden movie?? :knows that **TWNJ** and **TheCityTurnsOrange** aka **InsomniacKoneko** are rolling their eyes because she's been yapping about it since she saw the teaser: … Well, sorry, but if you see NarutoxSasuke in a teaser and the movie is called Bonds… :squeals: Looks pretty amazing and maybe some of you even got to see it! :turns green with envy: Ahem.. Thank you all who read, extra smooches to the people who take the time to review and let me know what they thought of my chappies. Special thanks to the afore mentioned two ladies, who listen to my rants about stuff in between chapters about facts and fictions and everything in between. They are themselves very talented writers, so check out their profiles! :-D

My anon readers: **Kakashi's Dog –** When will you get that freakin account? :sigh: I have no words… ;-D Thank you for all the support- I'm happy you liked the chapter. :-D

**Disclaimer:** I own a new ipod that doesn't say "Matthew Grellner"… Woo-hoo! BOOYA, baby! … Ahem. :-)

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 14:_ The Fine Lines_

The world was a puzzle, but not the kind that people thought- not a question wrapped in a riddle, thrown in a box, locked and the key thrown in the bottom of the ocean. It wasn't a matter of the Divine or origins or physics. The world was not a puzzle to be put together, but one to be taken apart and appreciated for its individual components- smell, touch, taste, hearing, sight and all the fine lines that interwove them. The senses were his friends- reliable and measurable, they gave him a feel of the world in a way that few could or would ever experience it. He could hear the whisper of the wind miles away even on quiet days, smell the rain in the air and see the tiniest bead of morning dew, shimmering like a mother of pearl on a blade of grass, the water would taste like different kinds of wine depending on the region… he could chart the soft, pale skin of hands he loved with the tips of his fingers- every tiny nuisance and fine line that no one else would ever discern.

Every fine line that had not been there the year before, on the almost unfamiliar face looking back at him through the mirror.

The world was a wonder, but not all of it was _wonderful_. Because his friends- the senses- would also betray things he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know what people whispered in low voices behind the back of another, he didn't want to smell all the vile things that people could exude- and Naruto would eventually pay for certain _accidents_ that had traumatized him- or feel, didn't want to experience the unnatural coldness of a dead body, never wanted to see every single speck of blood after a kill… he didn't want to hear a certain girl's heart beat insanely in her chest for the sake of another. His senses were friends that held double edged swords- one end always stabbing into him, always just about cutting through the fine line between the advantages they gave him and the price that was sometimes not worth it… but not- never- quite.

Inuzuka Kiba blinked his eyes, returning to the present only to find, much to his chagrin, that nothing had changed yet and everything was tense still. Akamaru was lying by his feet patiently, where he was crouching, occasionally whining deep in his throat. He knew what his friend- not his _dog_, Akamaru wasn't a pet- was saying, in part out of instinct and in part because he shared his sentiments. The only thing he could really do for him was pet his head soothingly.

The strain in the air tangible. More than merely _tangible_, actually- it was thick, murky and infectious. For someone like him, it was nearly unbearable to just stand there amidst emotions and sensations that ran rampart from every side. His senses were too honed, his instincts too sharp. What was an advantage in analysis and combat, was driving him crazy in those moments of utter inertia. What were they waiting for anyway? They had found Naruto and Sasuke, they could meet up with Kakashi on their way back. He had Shino to blame for that, who had said that they had to wait for the Jounin. Wait- in that horrible, wordless tension, where Hinata was staring at the ground, Sasuke was drilling holes with his stare on Naruto's back and Naruto was looking at anything _but_ his alleged _best_ _friend_.

_Friend…_

Whether because it was his own nature or because Akamaru was such a good teacher, he knew what true friendship was and that, whatever it was that was going on between those two, was not it. At least it wasn't that simple and it had somehow become more complicated in the few hours that they had been missing. And complicated things tended to blur the lines of what's proper, feasible or in one's best interest.

_A knotty bond._

Every one of them had had to deal with an unsavory dilemma at some point already. In his case, it wasn't really _unsavory_ so much as it was _recurring_. Each time he'd use a jutsu in which he shared in Akamaru's nature, relinquishing his humanity for a while, for the shake of his canine virtues, he was drawn more and more to that part of him. To let go of reason, to become one with the earth, the hunter; to become what Inuzuka Tsume had called the _beast_, in spite of Hana's objections. Every single time he would tread that fine line, between human and _not_, that, if he crossed, there would be no coming back.

His sharp eyes moved to Shino for a moment with a sense of guilt. This was the one thing that he had never told him, because Shino, in spite of his cool poise, was in nature a _worrier_. He was tough, no doubt about it, and he didn't become attached to people easily. But the people he loved were precious to him and his concern would be constant at the idea of a lurking hazard. Only Akamaru could really tell, because in those moment he became equally human. And just as Kiba found the experience refreshing, his friend did not enjoy it as much. No wonder, that.

Akamaru jumped up alert, assuming his offensive posture and barking at the depths of the forest. He, too, could sense it- the stealthy approach of someone or something. He sniffed in the afternoon breeze and stroked Akamaru's pale fur assuringly. "It's Kakashi-sensei." He informed the rest, attempting to hide his relief. The merciless wait was over.

Quite soon responding barks filled the air around them as the _Ninken _gathered and Kakashi appeared amidst them in a puff of smoke. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Kakashi's voice sounded cheerful enough as he walked to his ex-students. "I had to stop and help this bear that was being brutally attacked by a herd of squirrels-"

"Can we go now?" Naruto cut him in a gloomy voice that no one had thought capable of him.

The silver haired Jounin looked at Sasuke, who refused to meet his stare, and something between understanding and disapproval floated very eloquently in the air through his visible eye. "Yare, yare…" he muttered, too low for anyone but Kiba to unintentionally hear him.

Pakkun looked up at him and yawned. "Are we done Kakashi? The other summoned squads will be having a party and we would like to make an appearance, if you don't mind."

The talking pug would always give Akamaru the chills. It was just wrong to cross that fine line permanently and adopt the human characteristics. He barked at the smaller dog, drawing the attention of the rest of the _Ninken,_ who bared their teeth in protection of their own. Pakkun just looked up at the bigger dog unimpressed, as Kiba petted him to calm him down again.

Kakashi watched for a moment, then breathed dismissively. "Go on… take a bath while you're at it."

"You too." Pakkun gave a small grunt and the rest of the Ninken started to disappear. "Don't expect to see us for a few days."

Kiba sighed. Everyone was taking their time so he took this opportunity to reiterate Naruto's feeloings in a less annoyed tone. "It will be nice if we can all rest in our beds after all this."

The Jounin considered him for a moment, then his eye turned into that dubious crescent that suggested he was smiling. "In a moment." He said pleasantly. "Before that, I have a task for you, Shino." He said, immediately getting the boy's quiet attention. "Yamato is collecting information on the training grounds northwest from here. Tsunade-sama would appreciate it if you could assist him."

Shino nodded. "Of course."

"Just keep termites away from him." Kakashi said in a serious tone, even though his words were far from it. "I will be joining you shortly."

It was a joke that Shino had no reaction to other than a nod, yet Kiba could sense his friend's amusement at the pun. Unlike what most people thought, the Aburame boy had a pretty wicked sense of humor about things- he just didn't joke about them. It wasn't that he had thick skin exactly, because he had to assure him several times about the weirdest things. He hated being left behind, got hurt when people disregarded him or failed to recognize him- enter Naruto- preferred to sleep before the night fell, got rather annoyed when people insisted on talking to him while he was trying to relax his body into sleep, always woke up before sunrise and his favorite smell was wild lilies. All those little factoids, nobody really knew about Shino and very few ever would. There was a fine line between friendliness and intimacy that he rarely crossed, even in his own unique way.

"Hinata and I will meet with Tsunade-sama to get the new schedule for our mission, assuming we get back before nightfall." Kiba said, knowing that their mission was on the other boy's mind. "I'll leave a scroll with the briefing at your place."

Shino looked at him behind dark glasses. "Have Hinata write it. Your scribbles remain, to this day, unintelligible."

He gapped and blinked when Hinata actually laughed- and, if he didn't know better, he's swear she said something to the effect of "_so true"_. Shino was gone before he could reply to the comment. Well, it _was_ true, but still…

"Well. I better get going too."

They all turned to Kakashi, who was reading one of those dubious books again. Lee had told him that he'd pick rock/paper/scissors instead of properly battling Gai-sensei, if it would interfere with his reading. Kiba himself wanted to get his hands on one of those, but he was not of _proper age_ yet. He considered the notion absurd. Apparently, he was _of proper age _to kill or be killed, but not read some barely legal _erotica_- whatever sense that made_. _For now, he only had the Jounin's habit vouching for the _quality_ of the read as much as he had Naruto's declarations that it was crap. Same as with most everything else, he preferred to find out on his own.

"You just got here." Naruto protested, but the tone was dry and vinegary.

"To check in on my favorite students." He responded as if stating the obvious, but his thwarted undertone spoke in volumes. He wanted to see what kind of mess they had gotten themselves into, if left unsupervised for this long. "I have to check in with Yamato and Shino and head off to report to Tsunade-sama- who has been sick with worry for you two."

Sasuke scoffed. "I doubt she's worried for the _both_ of us."

"You make it easy for people to not care, Teme." Naruto muttered.

It had been meant for the Uchiha's ears for the most part, but everyone had heard it. The boys glared at each other with looks that conveyed all sorts of words and expletives- and other things that that only the two could translate… maybe. Hinata was frowning a bit treading that fine line between her previous stupor and her current puzzlement. He didn't really want to know what she had seen, because- whatever it was- he could still smell some of Naruto on Sasuke and vice versa. It was the smell of _intimacy_, even as they were presently a sore sight of awkwardness.

Kakashi did not seem willing to deal with them in public, because, other than a soft sigh, he simply brushed off what was going on as _apparently_ normal. "You two, behave." He said in a serious tone, then looked at his charge with a somewhat stringent expression. "I will see you back at the mansion, Sasuke."

And, with no further explanation, he disappeared in that same cloud of smoke. Kiba wondered if the Jounin really _did_ have to do any of the things he had claimed or if it was just excuses so that he wouldn't have to deal with the situation. It had all sounded entirely plausible, but Hatake Kakashi was notorious, when it came to timely escapes. Maybe one day he would be skilled enough and have the necessary rank to follow in his footsteps.

"You have been staring."

The irritable remark had come from the irate Uchiha, who was suddenly standing beside him. He was staring right back at him- and Kiba had not even realized that his gaze had drifted to the raven- with his disheveled hair, smudged skin and torn shirt, daring him to cross a line. It didn't take a keen eye to see the change between Naruto and him. Naruto, who was giving a sidelong glare and didn't look quite as worse for wear as Sasuke, other than a few tears on his clothes and the drained look in his eyes. There was no casual arguments between the two, no charring taunts, only the distance they were mindfully kept from each other. It was the kind of distance that could only come from being _too_ close, from being ill- equipped- or at least _unprepared_- to deal with that closeness.

Kiba's strange eyes held Sasuke's gaze for a moment, measuring him for a proper reply. There was a lot he could say and each of them was sure to cross a line with the Uchiha.

"Kiba… please." Hinata said, choosing a very timely moment to intervene.

Both of them turned to her- each with a different reaction to the words. Sasuke looked at her, then at Naruto- who promptly looked away- before glaring at a vague spot on the ground. It might have been comical, if he wasn't reeking of frustration, just about ready to do something- anything. And yet he remained unnaturally still. His raven hair curtained his eyes and his hands balled into fists at his sides. Kiba could have sworn that he saw a tight smile form on the Uchiha's lips- just for the ghost of a moment- before he shot off into the forest towards Konoha.

He cursed under his breath. "Oy, Hinata, Naruto- let's go, before the genius there does something stupid. He's still under _probation_, isn't he?"

Naruto's look of alarm, was equal only to his trepidation. Kiba really didn't want to think what could have had this kind of effect on a confident ninja like the blonde- if not _overconfident _at times. If he started to really think about it, he would be eliminating most options and then be left with a few really _unwieldy_ ones. But then his face set in a tight expression and he started to follow after Hinata- who didn't seem as graceful on her leaps and landings, still rather dazed by whatever she hadn't wanted to see. Hinata, who unknowingly and consistently had been breaking his heart for years. He suspected that his smile must have looked a lot like Sasuke's right that moment.

Akamaru nudged him and licked his hand. This time, his smile was more genuine as he jumped on a branch and patted his knee- a silent urge for Akamaru that he was ready to go. With a playful wag of his tail and a loud bark, he was by his side, then rushed a bit further ahead in a silent challenge for him to try and catch up. Even though Akamaru was big enough to ride at this point, he would always have the heart of the puppy he used to carry inside his vest or on the top of his head. Sometimes he missed those days. The comfortable weight of his canine partner would always provide him with a sense of comfort and responsibility in those days.

And speaking of responsibility, he was finding himself in a bit of a bind with everyone rowing their canoes of thought in their own little world. There was no immediate threat, but ninjas were supposed to be alert at _all_ times. If Shino had been there, he could have asked for his advice, but as it were, he'd have to make do without his friend's almost mind-reading observation skills. "Oy, Naruto!" he called out to the blonde as he fell in step beside him and nodded at Hinata to take the lead. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut and just headed to the village, but he decided to pick up his usual part in keeping things light . "We _will _catch up to him. I'm sure Tsunade-sama would be fine, even if he went in unescorted. His probation is almost over and he managed to behave himself through it."

Something darkened in Naruto's features. "Yeah." He said simply and jumped to the next branch, always looking ahead to where the Uchiha had disappeared. "Do you believe in your gut feeling, Kiba?" he asked suddenly, after a short pause. "That some things just feel _right_ even if the time is wrong? That you just _know_ what to do… or not to do."

He looked at the blonde rather bemused, trying hard to ignore any subtext, then smirked. "Of course, I do. It's rarely wrong. Ne, Akamaru?"

The other boy smiled slightly at the way the dog howled in reply, but his features easily fell back in the previous grim expression as he continued. "And do you ever think that maybe you would have been better off ignoring it? Because _maybe_ it's just weird stuff your mind comes up with and you think for a moment 'why not?' or 'this is great', but, when it's over, it has cost you more than it was worth… maybe… I don't know…" his voice trailed, fused with uncertainty and confusion, before quickly adding. "Forget it- I'm not making sense."

The mental and emotional din the boy was experiencing was painstakingly familiar. Whatever one said or did, more often than not they regretted or wished they had done in a different way… It was impossible to be angry at Naruto. Or bitter. Or resentful. It wasn't his fault that he had always been the _one _for her_. _People couldn't help what they felt or for whom- it was no-one's fault. His senses tingled with a muted sense of alert, his eyes easily catching the slight glimmer in the cobalt eyes, his ears sensitive to the painful thumb of a heartbroken beating inside his friend's chest. He sensed pale, lavender eyes rimmed by long, dark eyelashes, darting their way for a moment, but didn't meet them. They were close to Konoha. Maybe he could talk to her on her way home.

"You have to take it a bit easier. What's done is done and you'll just have to deal with it. Feeling sorry for yourself is not getting you anywhere and _looking_ it is not you." He said somberly, but decided that he sounded like more of a grown-up than he was ready to be. "You look like something exploded in your face or something."

Naruto smirked at that. "You should be an expert on freak accidents."

"No more than you, baka." He panned back. They moved through the forest in semi-comfortable silence for a while, but then he just _had_ to speak again- and regret it soon as the words were out of his mouth. "You must be really hungry- you and Sasuke have been gone all day."

The blonde grimed again and simply nodded at that. "Aah…"

Perhaps he was projecting, but he honestly thought that Akamaru shot him a glare. So he had gone and messed up what he had managed to accomplish. "So how was your time-well-spent with the Uchiha?" he started again, trying to joke it off. "Got bored to tears? Silence much?"

"That too." Naruto said curtly, consciously or not picking up some speed. "How did you find us anyway?"

It was a question meant to change the subject- and it was about to backfire. "Hinata found you." He said, his tone carefully offhanded.

That took away from the speed of the other boy, who almost missed his next landing. Kiba steadied him and Hinata paused a few feet away to look at them concerned. Naruto's eyes had gone wide- wild- in something akin to terror as they darted to her for a moment and back again.

"… Hinata did?" He chocked out after a moment of hesitation.

Again, Kiba's tone was casual as possible, attempting- probably in vain- to make it sound like it was no big deal. "Yes, the _Byakugan_ is a wonderful thing."

As expected, Naruto didn't seem to think so, because his voice gained in nervousness. "Did… did she say anything else?"

"Like what?" he said almost dismissively as though he had been asked a silly question.

It only served to fuel the blonde's apprehension. "Like _anything_." He said more impatiently.

Kiba took a deep breath. "No, Naruto. She didn't say anything."

Up ahead, he could make out Sasuke's form. They were catching up fast, part of it having to do with how his pace had slowed down considerably. The thought came with some discomfort at the prospect of a repeat of the earlier tension between the two boys before the Uchiha had taken his abrupt leave. Much like magnets, they seemed to be drawn to and repel each other with equal force.

"Sasuke-san." Hinata called to him, when they were within hearing distance.

_W__**hat**__-san?! _Where the hell had that come from? As far as addressing him concerned, last time it had been _Uchiha-_san.

Said Uchiha paused on the next branch and looked back with a rare look of surprise. His eyes darted from the girl to Naruto and it was hard to miss the intense look in the charcoal eyes or the way the blonde carefully avoided it. Kiba wished he could roll his eyes at this particular display, but he didn't want to get the heat from either of them. Naruto would yell at him and Sasuke would use _that_ tone- the one that made people want to go homicidal on him. Honestly, he was often surprised that the Uchiha had survived, not so much his tragic past, but his unique talent for dripping sarcasm.

"You shouldn't have left on your own like that." She said quietly, landing beside the raven. "Your probation-"

"I know." He stopped her, employing an unusually meek tone.

Kiba looked at the two curiously. Since when were they even _talking_? Naruto looked as dumbfounded and suspicious, so it was probably news to him too.

"You should thank Hinata, _Teme_." The blonde said levelly, "She was the one who _found_ us."

If it was meant to be a subtle message, it went unnoticed as far as anyone could tell, because Sasuke's dark eyes betrayed none of the emotion that had effortlessly registered in the other boy. "Thank you, Hinata-sama." He said simply- respectfully- and started moving again.

The rest of them followed, but he found it difficult to stop glaring at the Uchiha's half-naked back with the occasional look at Naruto. He wasn't sure why he felt that the boy would understand his feelings. Possibly, because him and Sasuke had been around each other for so long that people could no longer think of one without the other- like it often happened with a familiar picture that had been hanging on the wall for too long. The strange familiarity between Hinata and the dark half of that picture disturbed him. It occurred to him then- the idea heaving on his chest- that his time was running out every moment he was wasting. It was next to impossible that the next man would be Sasuke, but it didn't look like it was going to be Naruto and she was going to realize that- sooner or later.

No one spoke a word until they had reached Konoha's Gate, well after the sun had set- so much for their visit with the Hokage. The Hidden Village of the Leaf bathed under the moonlight under sparkling stars and far-away constellations. When he was younger- and it felt like it was so long ago- he would lie down with Akamaru and name them, connecting the invisible fine threads and molding them into bears and cherry-pies. Sometimes, when Shino was there, he would tell him what was what by its proper name, but he couldn't recall a thing now.

His thoughts were interrupted- the _silence_ was interrupted- when Sasuke took a few steps to stand in front of Hinata and pause uneasily for a short moment. Akamaru growled protectively, because dogs knew what humans felt and often reacted to things they would not. The Uchiha looked at the hound then at him for a fleeting moment, the charcoal eyes lighting with something akin to recognition. When he turned back to Hinata, communicating something lost to the rest, for some reason Kiba wasn't feeling as bothered- as though his unspoken intentions had been recognized. There was a very fine line that defined that moment as private, but not intimate.

"I'm sorry." the Uchiha said suddenly, looking surprisingly honest.

And she did seem surprised, but apparently understood what he was apologizing about. A small bitter smile curved on her lips. "I guess… it was a matter of time."

There was a moment of hesitation that he seemed to want to say something, but decided against it. Those dark eyes rested on Akamaru once more, before he started to turn away- openly edgy, weary and quite fed up with his day.

This time it was Kiba that stopped him. "Hey- shouldn't Naruto be escorting you when Kakashi-sensei is not around?"

Sasuke looked at him dismissively over his shoulder, any trace of his previous humility and understanding entirely wiped from his poise. "I think that I can find my way."

"You couldn't find your way out of paper bag." Naruto sniped.

Sasuke chose not to grace that comment with a reply. He simply stared at the blonde with an unfathomable expression for a few moments- almost sad, but the emotion was entirely overpowered by frustration- before backing away from the group and disappearing into the night, in the direction of the Uchiha mansion.

Kiba frowned at Naruto's's uncharacteristic attitude. "Are you _okay_ with this?"

Cobalt eyes watched the vague form leap from one roof to the next for a long moment, then started to walk away in the opposite direction. "It's _his_ decision."

He had just about had it with the little passive-aggressive attitude from both of them. "That never stopped you before."

It was a fact. And it didn't even slow him down. "Maybe it should have."

Kiba and Hinata watched him walk away with disbelieving eyes, gapping slightly at the sound of words that had never before been heard to pass the lips of Uzumaki Naruto. Especially not about a promise he had made. And never- _never_- about Sasuke. Not when the Uchiha had left Konoha to join the freak that almost destroyed their village and killed their Hokage, not when a _Chidori_ had been rammed through his chest, not when he had been left for dead, not-

_Never._

He shuddered a little- because some things were not supposed to change. He knelt down and stroked Akamaru's back. His canine friend wore an expression of trouble that he tried to sooth with an assuring smile. "I did not just hear that."

A scowl clouded over lavender eyes. "Some things people need to resolve on their own." She said softly. "It's been a long day. Lets go home…"

He nodded. "Want some company?"

She smiled tiredly at the offer. "No. I'd rather walk and clear my head before I get home." Then, as though she had crossed a fine line to rudeness, added. "I'm sorry."

He knew the drill. He was interested, but he didn't say anything- he just couldn't. "What is it with _everyone_ apologizing today?"

"I'm sorry!" she said quickly.

Kiba rolled his eyes, amused, and wagged a finger at her. "Hinata… you did it again."

"I-… um. Uh…" she caught herself and smiled a little.

It was one of those smiles that would always melt away at his heart. This time, instead of forgetting all about it as soon as he got home and always wonder what his problem was, he decided not to walk away. Now or never, do or die… or crawl under a very big rock deserving of your fate wondering what could have been.

"H-hey… Hinata?" he stuttered and cursed himself for it.

Hinata looked at him curiously, with those big, childlike eyes. "Yes?"

The look she gave him was so entirely oblivious to his intentions that he almost lost his nerve. He rubbed the back of his head fretfully, his eyes unconsciously drifting to Akamaru for some sort of confirmation that he wasn't about to make a fool of himself. "I was thinking…" he started, then breathed out and decided to just suck it up and do it. "I was thinking that maybe- after the mission at the boarder- we could go out- have dinner or something…"

It didn't really register for a long moment, but soon those beautiful eyes widened in something that played with a fine line between shock and outright panic. "Kiba-kun…?"

This was going bad. Maybe he was expecting surprise or even rejection, but not outright horror. He chickened out. "I mean with Shino- not just us- all of us."

"No!" she stopped him and stuttered incoherently for a few moments at the expression of hurt that he tried very hard to hide, but, all the same, crossed his features fluently. "No- I mean…" she sighed, then looked at him timidly twiddling her fingers. "I…"

The sight of her was eerily familiar all these years and it gave him a marginal sense of hope, because Naruto was nowhere around. He waited patiently.

Hinata blushed and took a step closer to stroke Akamaru's head, arched his neck basking at the attention. "M-maybe… it would be okay if we did. Just the two of us."

He would have easily started to do cartwheels there and then, but was quite sure that it wouldn't help to promote his case. She still seemed nervous though, but less so when the fine line that had been his guarded smile exploded to a canine grin. She hadn't promised anything and he knew it was maybe too soon and only one way to make it alright for her. One day, he hoped he'd be able to dare say _them_.

But he was getting ahead of himself. For now, for _her_, he'd walk the line- thick, fine or non-existent.

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So this was Kiba's chapter. Sorry for the delay, but things have been hectic and I had trouble deciding on a theme… I must have changed it 5 or 6 times. Kiba was a great character to write and there's just too much about him that has not been touched to fit into a single chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. :-D

Next chapter is Anko. She and Sasuke have some catching up to do. Hehehe ;-D

Tons of love and e-cookies to you all. :-)

Ja!

M.


	27. Tide 13: Lost Souls

A/N: Hello there, mina-san

**A/N:**Hello mina-san! :-D Sorry for the delay! Thank you all for reading, extra smooches to the wonderful people who took the time to review my work. :-D This chapter is for Anko, because I like her tons and tons. I know that some chapters may feel like "fillers", but the idea is to give _everyone_ of the characters that are significant in some way to the Naruniverse their own chapter. I'm not sure that that can be said about Anko exactly- though I DO think that her background with Orochimaru is so fascinating- or Ibiki, but I love them too much to leave them out. .

My anon. readers… :looks around: a.k.a **Kakashis's Dog** – You really need to create an account. ;-) You are always too kind. Thank you so much for all the encouraging words. Muahs! I hope you enjoy the Anko chappie!

**Disclaimer:** I own… nothing comes to mind… T.T

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 13:_ Lost Souls_

"Man…you look just like I feel."

Morino Ibiki turned to her with a smirk at the snide remark about his appearance. There were more scars on him than any of the ninja's even among the ANBU and he wore them proudly like medals- each of them standing for a moment that he had managed to cheat death. Yet, proud as he was of them, not too many people could say anything like that to the Head of Konoha's ANBU_ Gomon/Jinmon Butai_ and walk away with their head on their shoulders- literally, as well as figuratively. Then again, not too many could match him drink for drink all evening and still be conscious by nighttime. She was _buzzed_, but conscious.

The man rose from his chair- his huge frame not intimidating her in the least. "That says a lot." He admitted with a smirk that had been known to send his victims running back to their moms. She didn't get that. If anything, she found it rather _intriguing. _"Time to go home, Anko- it's getting late. We have a long day ahead tomorrow and you had better _not_ force me to clean up after your this time."

Those sentences had _way _too many words. She frowned at him uncomprehendingly, before her hazel eyes brightened as she recalled what he was talking about. "The _Chuunin Exams_!"

His dark, grave eyes narrowed at the monetary sum of their binge. It was kind of _cute_- she'd dare say- how he always seemed stupefied at the amount of alcohol they could consume between the two of them, which, in turn, really confused her. _He_ was immune to booze- which really begged the question why he'd bother drinking in the first place- and _she_ was _nearly_ there. Between the two of them, they could drink each other dead to the bottom of every bottle in Konoha. After a brief moment, he put down the bill and left a generous tip, as always. "Right." He said offhandedly.

"It's _tomorrow_!" her thoughts retracked the issue in question, voice echoing with something dangerously akin to surprise.

"Right." He reiterated, unimpressed, and pulled her up from her chair with disconcerting effortlessness, like she was a piece of paper of a feather. Part of it was his physical strength; _mostly_, it was because she _let_ him. She knew and _he_ knew that she could be deadly, in spite of her, comparatively, small figure. "I'm going in first, so you make sure you sleep off your hang-over before showing up."

It wasn't exactly concern that had prompted the reminder, but rather an _unfortunate_ incident a couple of years before. So maybe she _had_ continued to drink after they had parted ways. So maybe she had still been a _little_ intoxicated when she took over after him. And _maybe_ she should have remembered to mention to those genin that _tiny_ detail about the piranhas in the river. The result was chaos- ANBU jumping in to save the _amateurs_, genin jumping out with the carnivorous fish still chomping at their asses and her laughing so hard she thought she might have cracked a rib. Ibiki had not been happy. Tsunade was even _less_ happy when she had to pick up the clothing bill for the brats after negotiations with their angry parents. Everyone was a critic… In her defense, they should have been better prepared.

"No promises." She said with an inebriated chuckle and jumped off on a nearby roof, almost falling backwards.

Ibiki looked all fearsome and grim, but then again that was his usual face. "If you're going to crack your skull open, do it _after_ tomorrow." He yelled at her.

She winced at the loud baritone, but all the same saluted with a laugh and did a somersault to the next roof to make her point. It was a near miss and he saw it, if the line of curses directed at her was any indication. Ibiki was tough as nails and less likely than her to express worry over anything or anyone, but much like her he made up for it in threats, obscenities and expletives. They were two of a kind- the two of them. It should probably stay that way too.

The sky was clear, the moon a bright, waxing crescent and the stars twinkling overhead as they always had, since the beginning of time- _alone_ and _stranded_ across the cold spaces of an infinite blackness. Her favorite time of day was actually when the _big yellow thing in the sky_ would finally disappear behind the mountain line. From sunset on, she would feel invigorated- and she would feel guilty that she did, because her appreciation for the dark had been a remnant of her training with Orochimaru.

Mitarashi Anko heaved a deep breath, trying to push back against the tide of memories flooding her fractured mind.

The thing was, it hadn't been all bad- it hadn't been bad at all, until the very end. Orochimaru-_sama_ had been her ideal mentor, taking her under his wing and teaching her how to be _special_ and strong_._ It was him that had built her up and- she hated herself for that- him that, at some point, had become her irrefutable infatuation. Only Ibiki knew about that, because, that one time, after she had failed to kill her old mentor, the scarred man had been there, when she had drunk so much that she could no longer hold her liquor- or _sake,_ as it were. And that was a _lot_ even back then. To her surprise, he had not lost all respect for her nor had he looked at her with harsh eyes full of disgust. That was more than she had been able to do for herself and the fact that she had felt encouraged to splatter nonsense after nonsense- about how it was possible for her to never see in that monster what untrained eyes had so plainly predicted, about having had feelings she could never hope to accept- really did nothing to help with her self esteem. The _Tokujo _had stared at her with more understanding than she had thought him capable of- yet _another _miscalculation on her part- and told her that respect and love could blind people to the obvious. Most everyone was a lost soul, looking for someone to show them the way- to hold on to. His gentle tone had unnerved her, but then he had hoisted her over his shoulder and, next thing she knew, she was vomiting all over his back. Ibiki had, once again, not been very happy, but in _her _defense, his bicep was too hard against her already irritated stomach.

And all was well and normal again.

"Lost souls, huh?" she said to no one, because, like all lost souls, she was alone, but no longer looking for anyone to show her the way.

Time and time again she would hear fellow _Jounin_ and _Chuunin_- over a cup of sake or more, on a bleak anniversary- discuss how lost they had felt when they their mentors had died. It was all too common considering the lives they led- lives that were more often than not cut short by the sharp edge of a kunai or a katana blade. If one was fortunate, it would be painless and clean like that, but more often than not it wasn't. Maybe it had been them that Ibiki had been referring to at the time- senseis and protégés- though she didn't entirely agree. Because people like _them_ would never know _her_ kind of loss. Secretly, she would _wish_ that she could have been like them- that her mentor would have died honorably and she would have had the _privilege _to mourn for the loss. Her _mentor_, who had shattered her mind and tossed her aside like a rag doll, had been murdered by his prize student and she didn't feel a thing. Not pleased, not mournful, not vindicated or avenged, only a vast emptiness that devoured her soul with no hope for closure or atonement.

A lost cause for a lost soul.

Something moved in the periphery of her vision, catching her attention. Sake would demand its due on the senses, so she was actually surprised that she had even noticed- however unlikely it was that, even in that state, she would have missed it. The Jounin training had paid off that way, always keeping her mind alert. In the same way it had cost her, because she was never at peace, always looking for the veiled menace, never quite trusting that anyone might do something nice for the hell of it- no expectations or provisions. It was sad, but then again she was already lost- what did it matter?

Anko shook her head and headed towards the figure that was claiming her rooftops and intruding on her loneliness. To her surprise, the _intruder_ was no other than Uchiha Sasuke himself, moving too swiftly for the average villager to see. On his own. More than that, there was a dark aura about him that further labeled his intentions as _questionable_.

Her eyes narrowed and searched the area more carefully. No ANBU guards and no sign of the Uzumaki kid either- surprising as it was, seeing that the two seemed to be attached on the hip these days. To her understanding, this would be considered a violation of the terms of his probation, so there _had_ to be a fire. She smirked at the opportunity this presented. To her utter detest and against any advice she had offered, her Hokage had decided to accept the Uchiha back, trusting in his defenders, whose number was entirely disproportionate to those wise enough to advice against it. A traitor would always be a traitor and should be punished as such. Would they have accepted Orochimaru back, if he had said he was _sorry_? She didn't think so. The whole damn Uchiha family was a dark page in Konoha's otherwise glorious history, down to the last conceited survivor. The Village was all that someone as lost and otherwise useless as her had left. She'd be damned, if anything were to happen to it; not on her watch.

"_Kon ban wa, bouya_." She greeted with an edge, efficiently halting his advance.

The Uchiha turned to her with a muttered something- possibly a curse- and she had to do a double-take. _What .The. Hell..?_ Before her stood a young man- not the boy she remembered- looking tired, aggravated- which was enough to convince her it _was_ him- his skin smudged all over- a definite low gradient vis-à-vis the usual pristine looks of _any_ Uchiha- and half-naked. That last detail was virtually unheard of among that prude clan. In another time and place, she might have thought he was quite _edible_. Well, he _was_, but-

She blinked away the inebriated thoughts, briefly wondering if, perhaps, her mind was playing tricks on her, before she decided it didn't matter. If this was an illusion, she'd just argue with thin air for a while- it's not like she would remember much of it after she woke up, anyway.

"Yes?" the half-naked Uchiha- apparition or not- probed impatiently.

Anko tilted her head at him, marveling at the magnitude of his nerve. "You don't remember me, do you, Sasuke-_kun_?"

He scoffed, his dark- dangerous- eyes inspecting her for a moment, maybe going through a mental list of faces. Even way back when, there had been something about the way he looked at most anyone- as though they didn't quite figure in his set of standards, like they were _small. _It was still there and pissed her off."You are the nutcase Chuunin examiner." He said with that same sense of disregard.

"One of them." She smirked, hiding her surprise that he actually remembered. Surprising people must have come as a bonus with his training in that lost path of his, because he used to be pretty predictable when things had been simpler. "The name is Akno. I was also one of Orochimaru's _protégés_ way back when." she said smoothly, but pointedly, aiming for a reaction. He didn't disappoint her as he tensed, jaw setting. "Back then, he couldn't offer me a prize that was worth betraying my village. Suppose things were different for you… ne, Sasuke-_kun_?"

The Uchiha didn't speak for a moment, but then his body relaxed in the strangest way. Much like the silence before the storm, it was his disinterest, that trademark apathy, that betrayed that he was about to fight back. "You're drunk." He said matter-of-factly, sharp as the blade of any kunai.

"And you are violating your probation." Anko panned back dryly. Two could play, if that was his game of choice. "If we take it up with the Hokage, which one do you think is a bigger crime?"

Something in his expression seemed to oscillate between self-preserving reason and his craving to rise up to her challenge. After a moment, he averted his eyes. "What do you want."

It was somewhat disappointing; definitely anti-climactic. He had spunk and she really wanted to exchange blows with someone _worthy _tonight. "To talk." She said simply and settled on the rooftop.

He watched her cautiously, disbelieving. "About what?"

Honestly, she wasn't sure what she would want to talk to him about, so she started with the obvious. "What are you doing out here on your own?"

"Kakashi is waiting for me at the mansion." He said, impatience tinting his voice again. "I was escorted into Konoha by Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Uzumaki Naruto."

Apparently, he wanted to get this over with fast, because he answered quickly and, as far as she could tell- she was no Ibiki, after all- honestly. Still, it didn't answer her question. "So why are you on your own?"

At that he paused, calculating his response. Did he really care that someone might get in trouble for this? "I felt confident that I could find my way around. You may report me, if you want."

"It's not you I should report, but Naruto." She tested and was rewarded by a generous frown her way- quite hostile at that. "He's supposed to be around when Kakashi is not, no?"

The frown smoothed but his eyes were animated, calculating. "Naruto had nothing to do with this. I took off on my own."

Really, she was expecting a smarter reply, but then again the boy didn't seem to be his usual sleek self. "Did you kill him?"

That question had the effect of a sudden slap across his face, painting his features with shock and indignation. "What? No!"

Was it really as preposterous as his reaction suggested? He had nearly killed Naruto a few years ago. "Then you're saying that you knocked him out, before taking off." She continued.

"I did not…" he paused and something flashed briefly behind his eyes. "I did not _assault_ Naruto."

"In that case, he should have been with you." Anko said simply, because when the implications were that plain, there really was no reason for threats. "By ignoring his responsibility, he's risking your life and his position. Maybe he's in league with you."

There was an obvious insult communicated in his glare. "Doing what." He demanded

"You are his best friend, aren't you?" she baited. "Everyone knows he'd do _anything_ for you."

"We had an argument." He cut her. "A _big_ argument, alright? You can bring me to the Hokage and I will accept responsibility for this, but keep Naruto out of it." His tense tone eased a little. "If being a _baka_ is a crime, he should have been executed a long time ago."

Anko blinked. Then laughed. Hard. She was sure that it was not meant to be humorous, but in his frustrated attempt to excuse his friend his phrasing had tickled her funny bone. The Uchiha just stood there looking at her with a disgruntled expression that had no place on someone as battered as he looked. And it wasn't just his smudged and bruised skin or torn clothes; there was something in those charcoal eyes that seemed almost helpless- and it thoroughly astounded her. Because the Uchihas never looked like that- never entirely human, always at least a little more than mortals. She wondered if that was what drew Orochimaru's interest to the clan. She wondered if perhaps the young man that looked at her through those hard, solid charcoal eyes, was in fact more lost than she had ever felt.

She watched him watch her for a long moment before she decided to speak again, this time having a better idea about what she wanted to talk about. "Was what he gave you worth what you have lost?"

Even though the new subject couldn't have been an easy one for him, he seemed almost eager to divert the attention from Naruto's shortcoming in performing his task."Both are in the eyes of the beholder."

"Cryptic." She noted. It was.

"True." He amended. "I have already been interrogated by the Hokage. If you have further questions on the matter, I would suggest you take it up with her. Is there anything else?"

"Oh?" Anko regarded him with a feline smirk. "Technically, breaking probation is grounds for execution, Sasuke-kun. _Technically_, if I say 'jump', you can only ask 'how high'."

The boy's jaw set again and she fathomed that it required a lot of restraint to resist attacking her verbally or otherwise. Ibiki had once told her that she had a talent for riling people up as much as he did for subduing them. It was true. Too many people- including some villagers- had her on a black list for one reason or the next. Apparently, the little Uchiha was still holding her accountable for the Forest of Death and her current behavior was sure to earn her a good spot on his list of people to do something bad to, now that Itachi and Orochimaru had been scratched.

"How did it feel to kill your mentor?" she asked then, because she really wanted to know.

His expression morphed to a smirk that she bet would taunt 'jealous?', if he had spoken up. "Orochimaru was not a mentor any more than I was a student of his."

Something inside her was bothered. And it was silly, because she had wanted Orochimaru dead for so long- about as long as she had been trying to forget who he had been to her. Yet the Uchiha standing a couple of feet away had been his student and as long as he lived, a part of her old mentor would carry on through the powerful jutsus that he had learned in every unconsecrated way there was. "Funny you should say that, because, to my understanding, you can use all of his forbidden jutsus."

"Mentors don't usually take over their student's bodies. He was a threat to my life and my plans. I simply eliminate it." He said dismissively.

Maybe that was why she had wanted to see the boy executed. Not because she couldn't forgive _him_, but because that way- _maybe_- her lost soul would find a measure of relief in seeing the last living proof that Orochimaru could live forever die before her eyes. Convince herself that she was safe now- entirely free of him. And free to mourn for all the things she never had and would never have, in a private place that no one would ever know.

"What was Orochimaru like?"

At first she had thought that it was the Uchiha that had asked the question and her eyes snapped at him only to find him staring back in disbelief. Then it hit her; that hollow, distant voice had been hers. She had asked and yet in that moment she had been so disassociated with even the notion of the question that she might as well had been watching a complete stranger. Her hazel eyes fell on her lap, unwilling to share the private terror with someone like him. It was moments like this that forced upon her the reality that she would never quite be whole, never find all her pieces, be forever surprised that there's a part of her that would do this or say that. She was broken beyond anyone's ability to repair.

"He was…" the boy's voice startled her, but his eyes were averted in a vague point in the horizon, watching something shrouded in darkness. "Necessary." He decided on the word, then met her eyes once more. "Are you really going to report Naruto to the Hokage?"

The soothing effects of the sake were fading too fast tonight and a dull ache started to register once again- if it was her curse seal, responding to the Uchiha, or her heart, she didn't really care. "And if I do?"

It was a challenge. What was he willing to do to protect his friend? How much of the beast was in him still? How easily would he resort to murder or how hard he would try to stay human? Those beautiful charcoal eyes were stagnant and unreadable on her- not really allowing her to see if he leaned one way or the other. He waited silently for her answer.

She felt tired. And felt tired of feeling tired. "No. I don't like you, but I like that boy well enough." she said, getting up to go. "Tell Kakashi that I kept you."

"Orochimaru spoke of you sometimes." He said then.

If it was out of gratitude that he offered the information, she didn't really know, but it was not the kind of gratitude she needed. "Oh?" she turned to stare at him. "Did he tell you about how I was one of the first that he tried that curse seal on?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Did you know that before me, _no one_ had survived it? And he _still_ did it! To his own _student_!" her voice had picked up in volume, but he didn't step back. "Is that the man you chose over your Village for three damn years? Hm? How do you even have the nerve to come back and reclaim anything?"

Sasuke frowned at her. "I didn't come back by choice."

"You _stayed_ by choice!" now she outright yelled at him. "If you ask me, it wasn't a choice you were even supposed to have."

Those charcoal eyes stared back-unreadable, bottomless- with an aloof attitude, that she had seen in just about every Uchiha, but only one of them had been able to pull it off as well as Sasuke. Itachi had been Konoha's pride, a heirloom passed on by the Village to his traumatized younger brother and sole survivor of the massacre. Maybe it was the sake or maybe she was drunk by her own bitterness- or maybe she had just wanted an excuse to let the venom fly.

"You have been let off the hook too easily, you have been pampered too much by everyone, have found open arms waiting for you." Anko accused in a low tone that sounded like a snake's hiss. A part of her smirked at the irony that she was now speaking his language. "You never had to go through the shame of being the sole student of that monster. That position had been reserved for me even though _you_ were the one to finish the training." She continued, her anger almost literally blinding her, because she could no longer see him as her mind's eye blinked with visions of her past and her traitorous mentor. "You never had to experience the unreality of your mind betraying you, chipped away sliver by sliver. You never had to fight against people's unfair preconceptions of you."

The Uchiha regarded her quietly for a moment, his expression a perfect porcelain mask. "I see the irony of the situation escapes you." he said finally. "You had been judged _unfairly_ by people who had no idea what you went through and here you are doing the exact same thing."

It took her a moment to even grasp how the tables had been turned on her. "Oh? Are you going to start telling me of your _tragic_ past?"

This time it was him who took a step towards her. "I don't have to tell _you_ anything. If I had someone waiting for me here, they had their own reasons- and not you or anyone has a say in it." Sasuke sounded even and resolute, in spite of her snare. "Someone's reasons are only good enough for themselves."

She didn't like how this conversation had hit all those wrong turns. It was cracking through the alcoholic haze and she didn't feel as comfortably numb as when she had left Ibiki. Maybe it was a generation gap kind of thing, because the kids everyone used to affectionately call "Rookie 9" did not seem as lost as the rest of them usually felt. The times had not been easier, those kids had not been protected from the world, yet somehow, they all had their ties- all had some sort of guiding light, in spite of the cruel reality and even their screwed up choices. She felt genuine envy for the Uchiha.

Hazel eyes stared at him cold and harder than ever- in part because alcohol was a good alibi for letting loose, but mostly just because she felt too drained to try to seem aloof. "One's reasons need to, first and foremost, serve the village. Yours have never reflected that." She stated and watched how agreeably his eyes narrowed at her. "Let's hope your friends are wiser."

And with that she set off. She didn't care if the boy went home or not. If he pulled anything, she'd be glad to prove his _believers_ wrong. Things like second chances and the idea that no-one was beyond salvation were bothersome. If it was true, it could mean that she had never really tried hard enough to rebuild her life- herself. That was a tough one to stomach, because she had considered even surviving a true feat. And maybe, just maybe, she was even more lost than she realized- and that was a thought she wasn't sure she could bear.

It seemed like she had been talking for hours, her mouth and lips dry for something that wasn't water or water-y. All she longed for was a dreamless sleep that would burden her troubled mind no more than life could. By the time she got home, she was practically dragging her feet- no more flips and somersaults, her body felt too heavy to lift in those all-too-familiar moves.

"So you didn't crack your skull." A voice said. "That's good. Last minute replacements are a pain."

"Ibiki… you…" she started with no small amount of shock coloring her voice. "Were you following me?"

He frowned at her, his large frame breaking from the shadows. "No."

A small smile played on her dry lips, tasting something that might, perhaps, sooth her terrible thirst. "Were you _waiting_ for me?"

Ibiki frowned some more because he wouldn't be caught dead admitting to such. "Hell, no." he deadpanned.

Anko smirked knowingly and he scoffed, making a turn to walk to his house on the other side of Konoha. Dusty coat billowing around his calves and his hitai-ate hiding the worst of his scars, he could almost pass for an old ghost- a dead ninja still roaming the streets of his Village, protecting it. The veil of death would never stop them- lost souls- from doing their duty.

The thought came with different sensations. She felt a cold stir that became colder still with each step that Ibiki took. She knew she was lost and so did he, but neither felt too bad about it when they were together. Maybe it was because he could understand better than anyone the different strokes of the human mind, that he could make sense of what was left of hers even when she, herself, couldn't. Maybe it was because she had known terror in a more profound form than most, that she was not afraid of him. Her fragile mind had already fallen apart, with no promise of ever coming completely together again, so there was nothing that Ibiki could do to frighten her. The emotion was broken- like her- part bitter, part irrational, but, in its deepest reaches, startlingly warm and welcoming.

The small smile returned to her lips for a moment, before she opened her door and dragged her lost, fragmented soul inside her home, like a heavy chain reserved for lost, wandering ghosts like her.

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So… that was Anko. Admittedly, the chapter ended up bigger than I had expected, but so does just about any chapter lately. Seriously, I think that I'm incapable of writing a short chapter anymore… :sigh: Next chapter is Kakashi's pov- yes, yes, I know I favor him a lot-ed, but I need him there- as Sasuke finally gets home… … And I used to think Kishi-same dragged on the scenes… ;-)

Take good care, everyone. :-D Love and huggies!

Ja!

M.


	28. Tide 14: That Proud Chest of Yours

A/N:

**A/N:**FIRST of all I have to give credit where credit is due. The title of the chapter as well as the relevant Kakashi's line are property of **TWNJ**. I'm borrowing it, with her permission, from her story, "The Wait", which I suggest you guys read. It's SO good! So, thank you TONS- that line inspired a good part of this chapter. Thank you all who read and, as usual, extra smoochies to you guys who take the time to leave me some feedback. It's very much appreciated. … Oh, wow, "Boys Don't Cry" just came on… this could be a chapter. :-D Maybe for a bad boy though.. :wink wink:

My anon readers. **Kakashi's Dog** – Lazy bastard? LAZY BASTARD?! … Well I guess that I am. Lol I'm happy you liked that chapter, equally lazy bastard. ;-) **Mira-chan –** Great to hear from you! I WILL eventually write that Bleach story, doncha know. ;-) Kisses!

**Disclaimer:** Are you kidding? Even the title of the chapter belongs to someone else! LOL . Tons of muahs to **TWNJ**!

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Tide 14: That Proud Chest of Yours

If there was such a thing as sin among people whose trade was often human life- among ninjas- it would have to be pride. Pride could cost lives, could cost bonds that were rarely part of a mission. Pride could blind one to the obvious, gag them when they are supposed to say what's redeeming, stop them from doing what they knew was the right thing to do. Anyone would admit that they knew the kind of destructive force that pride was, but most would be too weak to resist its commandments.

It was getting late. Late enough that he had to wonder if he should have stayed with the two boys and chaperoned their trip back to Konoha. Counting on _smarts_ to reign over explosive _tempers_ just might have been a mistake in this case.

The thought gnawed in the back of his mind. Should he have stayed and dealt with the two boys himself? He could have done it, if he had dismissed the rest and kept it in the _family_. He could tell that both of them were aching to lash out and maybe that's why he had said nothing. That's why he had _escaped_. What had seemed like a perfectly sound plan at the time, looked rather cowardly in retrospect. Maybe he _could_ have dealt with it there and then- though he sincerely doubted it. Whatever had happened, it was _intense_. A bit like that horrible first crack between them on the hospital roof, back when – eons ago in his mind- but not quite. This tasted different in the air. It was the kind of thing that someone went to their parent about and ask for advice- however old. It was the kind of thing that found him severely lacking.

Because Hatake Kakashi was a lot of things, but a _father_ figure was not one of them.

And yet he doubted that any father would feel more relieved than him when he saw Sasuke making his way to the mansion. Because no father knew a son the way a mentor did. A father was well predisposed to think his child was incapable of the monstrosities that were revealed to a mentor through trial and error. A father was blissfully ignorant of the extremes his son was capable of, because a father wanted to be _proud_ of his son. In the case of Uchiha Fugaku, that very natural, fatherly desire had cost him his entire clan.

Sasuke landed a few feet from the small porch and walked towards the door, head bowed to hide all features other than a very thin line that looked more like a scar across his perfect face than a pair of set lips. Lips set in determination to remain sealed. Lips set in pride to avoid wording yet another mistake.

Kakashi let him reach the door almost, barely affording him a look. "What happened."

The young- too young and yet so old- Uchiha didn't say a word, but he didn't proceed inside either. He simply stood there, as if time had been suspended in that last step before he entered the haven of his haunted, empty home. A home he had always been proud of to call his own, even as it stood as a monument to the unspeakable tragedy of his family; the one thing he had never renounced in his long-winded journey back to Konoha.

Kakashi stared straight ahead. It didn't bother him that he had to carry a one–sided conversation for a while. After all this time that he had been living under the same roof with the boy, he was rather used to it. Most days he'd find it amusing even, but not tonight. "You sure took your time getting here…" he said idly. "Picked up where you left off with Naruto?"

The look that the raven shot him, sent a chill down his spine. It was a silent warning that he didn't want to be probed or teased about the matter, but that had never stopped him in the past. Other than Obito, who was a rare curiosity among his clan, the rest of the Uchihas were all like that- authoritative and proud, a pain in the ass and up the intestines, all the way to the stomach where they gave an average villager a bleeding ulcer.

"Considering your position, it's best that you discuss your fiasco with me before the Godaime notices." He said seriously, though not too much so. "Naruto has never been very discreet when it came to you."

"We had a… misunderstanding." The raven said after a long moment.

He had to admit that he was very much surprised that getting Sasuke to speak up- even that vague statement- had required so little effort. Experience had taught him that the Uchiha would either talk on his own volition or clamp up stubbornly, refusing to discuss the simplest things. Even things that Kakshi was already aware of. It meant that whatever had happened, the boy wanted his advice. It meant that whatever had happened was _bad_.

"What kind of misunderstanding?" he asked, now watching him over his shoulder.

Opening up had always been hard for Sasuke. He seemed to experience it almost like a physical pain. It tinted his features as he turned around and walked back to the porch, still refusing to meet Kakashi's gaze- a telltale of distress. "It's…" he appeared to be searching for some sort of definition that he couldn't quite find. He gave up. "It's stupid."

Kakashi watched him for a moment- watched the slight blush huing his pale cheeks, watched the lost look in the dark eyes, focused somewhere deep within- and sighed. It took two sticks at the right angles to create sparks- or two opposing dynamics, colliding in the form of adamantly uncompromising individuals. Either way, the end result would the same- heat. As far as he could tell, the raven was roasting in it. "I saw this coming…"

It was obviously the wrong thing to say, because those charcoal eyes snapped up to him, crimson red threatening to spill over the pupil in the form of that very dangerous _Sharingan_. "You _saw_ this coming?" he hissed at his former mentor. "How the hell could you _see _it and not warn me?"

The indignant tone really had little effect on the Jounin. The boy had death-glares available as readily as most people had change for candy. "It's not my place to _warn_ you, Sasuke." He said evenly. "My job description, as far as you're concerned, is to make sure you don't destroy the Village with one of your jutsus until you have proven your loyalty."

The mock-serious tone was fuel to Sasuke's fiery temper. Whatever he had been feeling had found a whipping pole in the older man's laid-back attitude. "What about destroying a friendship that means _more_ to me than the _Village_, huh?"

His visible eye narrowed a little. That was a perilous thing to say. "If it's so _precious_ to you, you should have taken heed and been more careful."

Sasuke's jaw set in a tense line. "What about hurting the future _Hokage_ of the Village? Does _that_ figure anywhere on your list?" he rephrased and the words dripped of pure venom.

Kakashi took a deep breath. It required some self-restraint to keep himself from teasing the Uchiha- the genius who had considered Naruto's dream foolish and was now phrasing it as a fact. The prideful stare that had once held the blonde, deeming him a fool, was now a noxious, accusing glare directed at him for the profound insult of threatening his friend's dream. "I hate to break it to you, Sasuke, but this isn't the first time you have hurt Naruto. He'll be fine."

Something surfaced for a moment in those eyes, only to be chocked by the thick charcoal darkness soon after. It was more than guilt, not quite frustration; more like vulnerability. "… This is different." He said after a moment, barely above a whisper.

This was the kind of things that reminded Kakashi that he was not fatherly. He could deal with the boy's temper tantrums and bleak moods, but he had no idea what he was supposed to do with something this fragile. His hands were calloused and his soul hardened by a life that had no room for soft spots. Even having students had been too much for him- _belonging_ again had been too much.

"It always is." He said mater-of-factly after a moment and sat on the stairs. He motioned for Sasuke to join him and, after a moment, the boy did. Though the raven gave hiding it a fair try, Kakashi saw that rare look of helplessness cross his eyes. It was one of those exceptional occasions that the boy would turn to him advice. He wished that Sasuke had a better relationship with Iruka- the Chuunin was so much better with this kind of thing. "Ninjas who work closely together develop complicated relationships… and feelings."

The way that Sasuke's eyes widened was all the confirmation he had needed that he had hit the bull's-eye. No amount or belated pride could erase that.

"It's a lonely life. And a hard one." he continued. "We often feel the closest to the one we believe understands the most and accepts us, even after having seen the horrors that we're capable of."

There was something hopeful in the raven's voice when he spoke next. "So… it's out of need." He summed up in a simplistic way that served his troubled mind and appeased his tempestuous emotions. "It goes away?"

It was almost funny how he had phrased it like he was talking about the flu- a troublesome virus that medicine or time heals.

"It depends." He replied honestly, perfectly aware that the boy would have very much preferred a self-serving lie. That frown told him so, in no uncertain terms. "It depends on who you have those feelings for… and what happened as a result."

Sasuke ran a frustrated hand through his hair, then developed an interest in the way a thread that had been hanging from his shirt could unravel the worn fabric. He pulled carelessly, because it would make no difference in the end. That shirt was, for all intends and purposes, ruined. Sasuke had the really bad trait of doing that very same on things that were pristine. He'd find the thread that would unravel a shirt or a bond and he couldn't help but pull.

Some probing was in order, apparently. "Did you argue about Sakura?" he asked.

It made enough sense. Naruto had always dreamt of being with the pink haired girl and she had always wanted Sasuke. Now if Sasuke were to take interest in her, it could get pretty explosive. He sincerely doubted it, but he had to start somewhere and hope things weren't as dire as he feared. Because more explosive than any argument over a girl could be a rift what the two boys had between them- what they had simplified as friendship. He had wondered how long things would remain on that comfortable plateau.

The raven scoffed. "I wish." He grumbled.

He really didn't have any other mental options to go over that didn't involve a huge mess. Even attempting it would agitate the boy. "I can keep playing the guessing game here, Sasuke, but I think it'd serve both our interests for you to just tell me what happened."

Sasuke looked down, again surprising him with his willingness to talk. It _had_ to be bad. "… What if…" he paused and cleared his throat. "What if what happened was a kiss…?"

Yes, it _was_ bad. "Then I'd have to ask who initiated it."

Sasuke bore an uncanny resemblance to a wet cat.

Kakashi sighed and tried not to smile. The proud boy had always been so certain about everything, so calculating, anticipating every hit and turn; everything but _this. _It was a serious situation and the boy would not appreciate his humor, but still… "Yare, yare… I was expecting something big out of you, Sasuke, and you sure came through." He said, his visible eye turning into that crescent that betrayed his smile. He really needed to learn how to shut up.

His comment was predictably rewarded with another glare. "What now?"

"Isn't that a question for Naruto?" he pointed out, sounding- thankfully- much more somber.

Eyelids fell heavily over the charcoal eyes. "I don't know."

The Jounin considered that for a moment. "Did he kiss you back?"

"I don't know." He said quickly, but then, even as his eyes remained closed, the spreading blush took away from the sternness of his features and the conviction of his words. "… I think so." He said very quietly, perhaps hoping that it was inaudible.

If he did, he had been hoping in vain. "If he did, it _is_ a question for him." He said, his voice having lost any trace of amusement. "The fact that you are afraid to deal with it is keeping you from asking and taking its toll on your friendship."

Another glare. Seriously, didn't all that glaring make his eyes hurt? "There's just nothing to discuss."

Now he was getting a little annoyed. Pride was the one that the Uchiha could not afford, if he was hoping to do any sort of damage control. "Your entire life you've been running away. You've been running for so long that you no longer remember how to stop." Kakashi chastised him. "You were afraid of dying the night of the massacre, so you run away. You were afraid of your own weakness so you ran from a normal life to become an avenger. You were afraid that you weren't progressing fast enough in Konoha so you ran away to Orochimaru. You-"

"That's enough." Sasuke cut tersely.

"Is it?" he challenged, not out of some petty urge to vex him, but because it was a valid question that had been begging an answer for years. "What will it take for you to stop running and face up to the fear that is been held with in you; that you have always felt there, rotting inside that proud chest of yours."

Sasuke's expression had darkened the more the Jounin pushed with the truths that he had meticulously managed to escape year after year for the better part of a decade; that he had been too proud to admit to; that admitting to them might claim a lot more than his pride. Unconsciously, the boy's hand had come up to his chest, his fingers fiddling with an old scar- a memory of a blow that had barely missed his heart. It wasn't the fatal attacks that had threatened his life, not really. It had always been that dark seed of despair inside him, that had grown by the day, watered by tears, vied all over his heart and soul, choking. Rotting. There had been a time that he had wondered if that heart, tucked under muscle and bone, in pseudo safety, was even beating anymore.

"I am _not_ running." Said the boy whose heart was beating painfully now. Because he had been running for too long- almost more than his heart could take without bursting. "And I am not afraid." Because he was afraid- almost too afraid to move.

Kakashi said nothing, but simply allowed the declaration to echo in the mansion and his head.

"This…" Sasuke started, absently studying at his palms in the pale moonlight. They were rough and scratched rather badly. "I'm not ready to deal with something like this."

"Life doesn't ask you if you're _ready_ for it. It just happens." He said simply, because things really were that devastatingly simple. "If you couldn't deal with _this_, you should have exercised better restraint."

The death-glare he had expected in response to that never came. If anything, the raven just looked tired, if not resigned. Pale arms folded stiffly around his knees, much like broken wings. "What am I supposed to do? Talk it over?"

"If you're not prepared to deal with it, you should be prepared to lose what you have." Kakashi said then. "It's time to take a good look at whatever it is you've been refusing to see. If it's not obvious to you by now, that hiding from the truth isn't the best way to handle this, it ought to be. Get reacquainted with reality- as soon as possible."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed on him, the oncoming sarcasm somehow assuring on his features. "It's _precious_ how you make this all sound so simple." He said dryly. "This is _not_ the kind of thing that happens every day, Kakashi. This is _not_ how things are supposed to go." He looked off in the distance. "Naruto has enough going against his dream of being Hokage, without adding more _exotic_ tastes to the mix."

A blink. It did rather startle him that the Uchiha's focus was not on the impact it might have on him- that there had been no pride in those words. Then again maybe it shouldn't have. "I notice that you didn't mention personal dilemmas on this. What about you?"

.

He smirked. "I have not been known for the sanest choices. It's a long list… one more wouldn't make much of a difference."

Kakashi had to arch a brow at that.

Sasuke scoffed, but all the same sounded a wee bit on the defensive. "I'm not even saying that it's something I want. Just that things aren't as complicated for me. I don't care about what the villagers think nor do I feel the need to explain my actions or decisions." he blinked slowly, thoughts retracking. "Naruto's bonds mean everything to him. He's had a dream since he was a brat." He smiled a little for a moment, then grimed again. "You know that he's stubborn and he'll try to hold on to things even if it's bad for him. I don't intend to let him."

"That reasoning didn't work very well last time. And here you are now." the silver-haired Jounin reminded him. "Like you said, Naruto's bonds mean everything to him. And there's no bond he holds dearest than the one with _you_." He said then rolled his eyes and smiled a little. "Kami help him."

The responding smile curved the Uchiha's lips bitter and acrid. "It's different this time."

"Actually," Kakashi's visible eye turned to the night sky, "this is very much typical. Of you, that is."

Another smirk. "Yes, because I've _always_ gone around kissing _guys_."

Sarcasm was no myth. He had yet to come across anyone better at it than Sasuke, even when he was a little gaki. "Admittedly, you _are _picking up new hobbies." He agreed, lightheartedly, because reality would forgive a genuine smile now and then. "But I was referring to your modus operandi. Once again, you are making the choice for Naruto. That's not consideration, Sasuke… you are looking out for yourself."

The raven rolled his eyes. "I'm done talking to you, Kakashi."

"That's fine." The older man said, honestly not taking offence to the boy's impudence. It wasn't like he had met the brat yesterday. "But talk to Naruto. Frankly, I'm not sure that Konoha is ready for another drawn-out drama act between the two of you."

Sasuke glared. Again.

It was all the more reason for Kakashi to continue, this time amused. "_Frankly_, I think you should go over to Naruto's, kiss and make out."

The young Uchiha blushed madly, but still managed to glare just fine. "Don't you mean _make up_?" he deadpanned.

"_I-e_." he said pointedly, drawing the syllables with meaning.

"You are incorrigible." Sasuke accused, looking away in an attempt to better cope with the embarrassing red heating his face. His pride couldn't take that much blushing.

Kakashi relaxed a little and leaned back. Maybe there was nothing in his ex-student's attitude that suggested that any of what he had said had registered, but he somehow knew that the boy's mind was processing everything. "Black looks great on you too…"

The raven looked up with a confused frown. Then confusion dissolved to annoyance. "Are you calling me '_kettle'_?"

The Jounin shrugged with a smile. "You can be the pot, if you prefer."

Sasuke shook his head. "Why does any conversation I have with you have to end like either I'm on drugs or you are?"

Kakashi knew that the boy was amused, in spite of the exasperated charade. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

The invisible smile faded from the raven's face, eyes becoming heavy and impenetrable again. "Now what, Kakashi?" he said softly. "I don't want to lose…"

Lose what? How would he have finished that sentence if confusion- and perhaps a unique case of cowardice- had not stopped him. Lose his friendship with Naruto? Lose his bond with Naruto? Lose _Naruto_? Scarily, the Uchiha was looking to him to be more than a mentor today. It was nearly impossible to know if he was giving crappy advice or misleading his charge, when it came to huge life decisions. He really didn't have the best track record to show for himself, yet he was trusted; what that meant was that if the boy ended up unhappy it was going to be his fault. No pressure.

"You can't stop the tides, Sasuke- no matter how hard you try. Maybe, given time, you'll find that you wouldn't have wanted to." He said with a confidence that he didn't feel. "Stop resisting the inevitable. You'll learn to weather through them faster, if you stop trying to control the waves."

Sasuke was watching him with a tired smile- because the boy knew that metaphors were a way to sound deep and assuring when one couldn't provide a definitive answer. "Tides, huh…"

Kakashi rested a hand on the raven's shoulder. "You've always treated your life as something predefined that you simply participate in." he said evenly. "You've always acted as though you were destined to lose everything that meant anything to you." He continued and was surprised to find that Sasuke did not object- not out of pride, or even out of principle. "Destiny is not a matter of chance, Sasuke. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved… and loneliness is an easy destiny to achieve, if that is your choice."

With that he got to his feet. Those charcoal eyes were following him more consistently than his own shadow, washing over him with the strangest mixture of appreciation and frustration. Both of them were orphans in a way- most ninjas were. Kakashi had consciously kept everyone at least at arm's length, because it was easier- it hurt less. Sasuke had always had trouble admitting to himself that he even needed anyone other than those he had already lost. He didn't know how he would define his relationship with the boy, but it was the closest to _familial_ that he had known in a very, very long time.

"For the time being, take a shower and get some rest." He said when Sasuke made no move to rise. "Things won't get any clearer tonight."

Sasuke didn't move for a moment, but then he got to his feet, albeit with some effort. Whatever hardship he had been through was catching up to him. "That's the most sensible thing you've said all night."

"So cruel, Sasuke-kun." He mocked hurt.

As they walked into the house, Sasuke spoke again. "Did I tell you I ran into Anko earlier?"

My, he was talkative tonight. "I think I would remember."

As the boy started to recount his encounter with the _inimitable_ Tokoujo, he had to feel a certain sense of wonder that the seemingly perfect Uchiha was no more immune to the simplest escapist tactics than any regular person. All this talk was not an indication that he was feeling connected or understood; he wanted to keep talking, because when he stopped he'd have to listen to the voices of his own inner demons, nestling inside that proud chest. Anyone would resort to _anything_ to avoid that, however off-character it might look to people who had never experienced that kind of personal hell. Because even if Sasuke went to bed it was unlikely that he would sleep and Kakashi knew that the boy was too familiar with the drill. He wondered how many nights the boy had actually enjoyed sound sleep since the massacre- for one reason or the other.

Then he remembered Naruto complaining when he had first paired them for sleeping arrangements. The little Uchiha's sleep was especially restless and, though Naruto had informed him of it under the preface of annoyance and how it messed with his own rest, even then, the loud blonde had been worried; and he was fishing for information. _"Ne, Kakashi-sensei… isn't there anything I can do to get the bastard to sleep a bit better? I seriously need some rest, 'ttebayo…"_ and bothered declarations like that with the unmistakable undertone worry. Yet after a while, Naruto had stopped complaining as much, so he had asked him if he was doing something bad to make sure Sasuke didn't bother him. At the time, it would not have been beyond the blonde to tie the Uchiha up and gag him, if it meant getting his much-needed rest- and Sasuke's constant insults and conceit did not make it a hard dilemma. The boy had shrugged and said that he was used to _Teme_ by then, but also the bad nights weren't as frequent.

Kakashi's visible eye watched the raven, as he peeled off the remnants of his shirt, rolling his eyes as he recounted Anko's attitude.

Maybe some things had always been there, but, like most things when it came to those two, they had been too improbable for anyone to piece together. In his own way, Sasuke had betrayed a depth of emotion that he had honestly not expected. Sure he had watched the bond between the two boys evolve and anyone who had seen Naruto, while Sasuke had been away, could tell that that bond was developing into something unlikely. Yet people could spend their entire lives without realizing the obvious- because they were _that _blind, because they couldn't afford it, or because they were _that _proud- and he had truly believed that those two would be like that. Ever in the verge of realization, but never quite stepping out of their known boundaries. Of all the unlikely ways to have an epiphany, Hatake Kakashi had never counted on Sasuke finally discovering any sort of sexual appetite in the most unlikely situation. And yet, here he was witness to the proud Uchiha sounding- he'd dare say- infatuated.

Maybe the boy had stumbled on the one thing that his pride could not survive. Maybe he was choosing a different destiny that the older man had never experienced. For now, though, if the desire to avoid thinking was proportionate to the magnitude of the issue that _required_ thinking, it was going to be a very long night. The older man hid a smile at the suspicious look that Sasuke darted at him and settled comfortably.

If pride was a sin, perhaps love- that selfless, insane driving force- was be the first step to salvation.

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That's chappie… oh damn, I'm no longer sure what's the chapter's number! O.o … Uh… Ri-ight. I hope you enjoy it. Next will be Lee and Sakura.

Kisses to all!

Ja!

M.


	29. Ebb 15: Simple as Possible

**A/N:** Hello, mina-san! Another day- … or so, lol- another chapter. I think this is the worse I've been update-wise, but RL has been hectic… :-P I have to warn you guys that this is a bit of a sappy chappie, because it's Lee with Sakura and the guy has always adored her… so it's written with that in mind. I really didn't want to write a Lee that's too comical however much I laugh with his stunts. I hope you enjoy it… Thank you all who are reading, extra smooches to you guys who take the time to review. You rock my world. ;-)

Thankies to my anon reader. **Kakashi's Dog** – Thank you thank you. This is Lee… I hope you approve, you youthful chick, you. ;-D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd wreck havoc with traditional pairings… other than ShikaTema, which I'm ALL for. .

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 15:_ Simple as Possible_

It was a good day- the kind that made one want to take a deep breath and fill their lungs with new life. It was rather cloudy, the grey clouds shielding the village from the sun's glare, promising not rain, but a pleasant humid coolness that made the skin tingle. There were days like that even in the heart of summer. The trees were rising green and tall all around the village, the occasional sun-ray teasing a random point in the corner of his vision- everything simple and taken for granted, everything miraculous, same as the first time they happened at the dawn of creation. It was a good day to _live_.

Such simple pleasures in life went by unnoticed by most villagers- too busy with their works and families- and ninjas alike- too often that simplicity was tainted by the red of blood or salty clear of sweat or tears. In that respect he had a lot in common with Shikamaru- not that he would presume to have much else in common with a genius like the young chuunin. Yet, Konoha's Ace would always make the time in his day to look up at the clouds, lazily observe any tiny detail breaking out of nature's tapestry.

However much he would accomplish in his life- and he was rather pleased with himself thus far- he knew that deep down he would always be a simple man, contented with simple pleasures in life. Gai-sensei- the man he looked up to more than anyone and anything, the man to whom he owed his life to, as he knew it- had told him that that was a wonderful trait and that he was special. The older man would always tell him the truth, but he wondered if perhaps he was sometimes too soft on him. Being simple was a fact, not a remarkable quality per se. Unlike Neji, he wasn't born a genius with the weight of family heritage defining a good portion of his life and his character. Unlike Uzumaki Naruto, he didn't have dreams of being the leader of his Village, which was more than fine because he didn't think he was cut out for the job. Unlike Uchiha Sasuke, he did not have the kind of charisma that drove people to the edge of the world and back again for his sake. Because, like Naruto, the young Uchiha had that astounding trait of easily becoming indispensable to certain people.

And yet, for all those unique traits that his friends had and he did not, he never felt too envious of them. Being simple might not have made him extraordinary, but it often was an advantage. It would occur to him that those people-whether intentionally or _un_intentionally- complicated their lives and their relationships and lost sight of what was important. Like the fact that, even during a heated argument, two people who love and respect each other are always on the same side.

"SANARO!"

Rock Lee's eye's widened comically at the sound of things breaking left and right, the sheer ear-splitting volume of the voice- inside a _hospital_ no less- and how naturally it seemed to have trailed his train of thought. For all the simple things he liked and all the simple things he was, his choice of girlfriend was anything but. And, on top of that, someone had managed to tick her off. Bad. Said someone walked out of the hospital in a flurry of color.

Sakura was, predictably, on his heel. "Don't you _dare_ walk away from me, Naruto!" she warned, waving her fist at the blonde. That mere gesture that had been known to give people nightmares, didn't seem to affect the blonde- and he would usually be the first to admit he dreaded it.

Naruto, who looked unusually grim, paused with his back to her. "Stay out of this, Sakura-chan."

His tone served to effectively halt her, which was by no means a simple task, because the pink-haired kunoichi was a force of nature. And yet she paused there, lips parted in words that never passed through them, eyes widening a little in what Lee recognized as trepidation, almost. No one was beyond the reach of some shade of fear depending on what was on the line. His dark eyes moved from one to the other, trying to asses the situation and maybe say something or do something that would wipe that look from her eyes.

It was in moments like these, that he had to curse his uncomplicated nature that oversimplified things. A friend is a friend no matter what; someone one respects will forever remain unsurpassed in one's mind; true love lasts forever; people lose their youth when they stop dreaming. All of them branded naiveties, waiting for life to tear them down before his gullible eyes. Gaara had once told him that he was _too innocent_, but, even as the words had sounded reproving, the Kazekage had graced him with one of those rare smiles, so he figured that it couldn't be that bad. In any case, though, his plain views on things did not help him fathom the present situation.

The pink-haired girl's hand came up to her chest and clammed at her vest. "Naruto…" she said softly- almost pleadingly.

Anyone who knew the loud member of Team 7, would know that she had no chance of being listened there and then. "Gomen." He said, a little more gently, because he meant it- because he could never be too harsh with the love of his childhood- and started walking away again. "Hey, Lee…" he greeted quickly and disappeared.

"Naruto-kun…" he greeted back at thin air, frowning a little.

Then he looked over at Sakura who was blindly staring his way, where the blonde had vanished. Though he and Naruto had been close friends for a while, in spite of the fact that they had teamed up on several missions and often risked their lives for each other, there were times that he was quite confused by the overly intricate or childishly simple ways that his friend would deal with things. The boy was far more complicated than most people would ever understand- perhaps himself included- and yet the things he had always wanted were a 5-year-old's wishes- to be loved, to be recognized, to be the hero.

After a moment Sakura sighed, dropping her hand to her side like it was numb, and walked to his side. "I'm sorry for all this." She said with barely concealed exasperation.

As they fell in step, he smiled assuringly at her. "Don't apologize, please." He said and meant it. "What's wrong?"

Annoyance touched her featured plainly at the question, whatever conversation she had with her teammate flashing behind her eyes. "Another fight between Naruto and Sasuke. It's turned into a bi-weekly event."

They walked to the hospital backyard. Usually, they would take long walks for her evening break or go someplace nice to eat and catch up on their days, if either had been away, or just talk. Most days it was almost an adventure, coated in the misleading form of simple, idle conversations about anything and nothing at all- all of them windows to the heart and soul of the woman he had adored for years. Today, though, the subject was obvious and it promised to be a lengthy discussion- or a tirade as it were- where she would mostly talk and he would mostly listen. This particular window- her relationship with Naruto and Sasuke- would often leave him with an inexplicable sense of inadequacy.

"Yosh! Lets figure this out together, Sakura!" he said with his trademark grin, because, as it often happened, even though her outward reaction was anger, her outbursts usually masked worry and confusion.

Sakura's teal eyes traced his features indecisively. What he had called _inexplicable sense of inadequacy_ was in fact very easily explained, but he didn't like to go there. Because each time Naruto's or Sasuke's name would come up- and therefore her bond with them- she would always get this guarded look about her as though she was more worried about hurting him than he was about getting hurt. And though he appreciated the fact that she cared enough to worry, it only served to remind him of one simple truth: the simple story that she could have with a simple person like him would never measure up to the epic emotional rollercoaster that she had experienced with either member of Team 7. Most people would easily say that they didn't want to be hurt that much again, but even they would be unable to deny that even as the lows were so close to the pits of Hell that the heat was too much, they only prepared them for ecstatic highs. It was addictive. It was more than he could offer her, so he often wondered why she had decided to give _him_ a chance instead of either of _them-_ but never asked, too afraid of the answer. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't compare to _them_. He was a coward. It was simple as that.

And things should be made simple as possible, but not simpler. Lee was human and, like all humans, he desired, felt things like happiness and often an equal measure of fear. Because once someone had a taste of heaven- held in their arms the fragile thing or person that they had always wished for- they can never go back to who they used to be. Nothing can ever amount to that. It was a simple truth that most people refused to acknowledge for the immense power it held over them.

Finally, she sighed. "I'm not sure what's going on with them. _Again_." She said in an exasperated tone, her need to talk and her trust in him winning over her hesitation. "It seems like every other day there's _something_. I can't keep up anymore."

Lee's smile remained on his lips, because for all her insight, Sakura could still not entirely realize how integral those heated arguments were to the boys' relationship. She had been scared off her understanding of it with everything that had happened- and that was human and reasonable. "Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun have always been competitive. There will _always_ be something."

"It's not like that." She said quietly, as her thoughts drifted elsewhere and _elsewhen_. "It's almost like…"

Konoha's Green Beast watched his girlfriend- he could never think or say that word enough, it felt surreal- sitting on their bench, in the shade of their tree, trying to word what she was trying to not even think about. It hurt him that she hurt. He sat beside her and took her hand in his, earning one of those smiles that might make him turn very _youthfully_ red. The simple truth was that since the moment he had laid eyes on her, she had been the _one_. He couldn't imagine that changing till the end of time. He wanted to tell her some day, if possible somewhere that waves would crush on rocks in the sunset. For some reason, the mental image was bringing Gai-sensei to mind… and that rather perturbed him. Significantly.

When her silence stretched, he blinked back to reality- forgetting about his weird tangent- and squeezed her hand. "Sakura…" he probed simply.

Uttering her name without a suffix was another thing that felt surreal. It took a lot of chastising by her to get rid of it, actually and he would often slip and use it again, but it was getting easier to naturally omit the closer they got- with youthful determination and a lot of threats from Sakura, he had done it. He supposed that when one has been wanting something for that long, it's hard to grasp the reality of simply having it. When someone has been wanting one thing long enough, reality becomes wanting it, not really having it; wanting it, the mere existence of it is sometimes enough. It would have been enough for him.

When she looked up at him, there was that twinkle in her eyes- like he was her life raft. Maybe it was that simple. "It's like before Sasuke left. That tension- and again I'm left out." She frowned to herself. "Sasuke is difficult, but Naruto talks to me. In the rare occasions that there's something on his mind other than ramen, he comes to me…" her frown deepened for a moment, before her expression dissolved to a combination of sadness and frustration. "Unless it has to do with Sasuke. Then it's like he's another person… someone I don't really know…" she lowered her eyes, her pink hair cascading around her beautiful face. "… Someone that only Sasuke knows…"

He reached over and tucked the soft, pink hair behind her ear. It really had been an instinctive move that left them both blushing. He really wished he could be more cool- or less of a dork, as Kiba had accused. Though they had been going out for months, they had been taking their time in getting to know each other. Everything had been slow and he was more than fine with that, because it was steady and promised to last; because they had time. And because he really _was_ a dork when it came to stuff like that. Gai-sensei's advise had only gotten him in further trouble and anyone else he had asked had spent a lot of their time expressing disbelief that Sakura really agreed to go with him. It was cute at first, but got really old, really fast. The only one who had said very little in ways of disbelief was, surprisingly, Neji, but his advice on matters of the heart was at best _crappy_. He didn't even use that word generally, but it was the truth. What was it he had said? _"You should make it abundantly clear that she's either committed to you or she should go back to the people she's been committed to all these years. You can do better." _Seriously? Did that even _fall_ under _advice_?It was also an unfortunate event, because he could no longer ask Tenten, without somehow admitting that her boyfriend was no genius in matters of the heart and should really stick to _Juuken_. And that was not gentlemanly.

"Team dynamics are a strange thing, Sakura." He started, keeping in mind the current situation on his team with Neji and Tenten having their _thing_ even as both denied it. "Whatever is going on between them doesn't affect their relationship with you. You just need to understand that they have their _own_ friendship to work on and a lot to catch up on. They'll work it out by themselves."

Sakura scoffed. "There's no one on earth _but_ them when they get like that. It took us a long time to be whole again… I just feel like it's all slipping through my fingers again."

"You won't lose them." He said definitively and stared into her eyes to show her that he did believe in his own words and that he was there for her. "But you _do_ need to accept that they are both adults and their relationship is their own matter."

"I guess…" she said after a moment, not sounding entirely convinced. "I suppose I'm just used to think of us as _Team 7_. Naruto and I had been chasing after Sasuke for all those years… maybe it hasn't quite sunk in that we did catch up to him."

"They are both _adults_." Lee reminded her again, with a smile. "You don't have to mother them quite as much."

The comment seemed to amuse her, because she chuckled. "Oh, I think they have plenty of growing up to do still. I mean Naruto _has _to realize how Hinata feels eventually. The poor girl has been holding on for him for years."

Though she had said it with a smile, there was something crisp underlying her words, like a conscious attempt to remind herself that _her _Naruto would eventually belong to another. "Neji told me that Hinata agreed to go out with Kiba. Imagine that, after all these years that she had pinned for Naruto."

Teal eyes widened into saucers. "No shit!"

It rather surprised him, because Sakura would rarely use profanities around him. He had sometimes wondered if he was inspiring that behavior or if she just wasn't quite comfortable enough. "I guess everyone gets tired of waiting eventually."

There had been no subtext in his words, nothing that might have deserved the uncertain look he received from her- as though he had just uttered some sort of vague threat. One trait that she did seem to share with a lot of women was that, when it came to tentative matters, he had to walk on eggshells; oh, yes, he failed that one miserably _every _time_._ Part of it might be that he never really understood the parable. Who would walk on eggshells anyway and what chances would _anyone_ stand at not breaking them? He was all for profound metaphors, but his simple way of thinking had deemed a lot of them silly.

"I just hadn't thought that Hinata would give up after all these years… especially now." She continued, after taking a deep breath.

He arched a brow. "Now?"

Sakura shrugged. "Well, with Sasuke back, Naruto is a lot less _distracted_."

The wording triggered something in him. It was that very simple urge to say or ask something, the response to which had been known for tearing down one's sense of reality. "If that is so…" he fought with the words that screamed to be allowed past his lips. "If that is so, why did _you_ give up now?"

Her beautiful eyes snapped up to his in shock. "… What?"

"You have always wanted to be with Sasuke-kun…" he pressed on, "When he left, you were willing to give everything up to go with him-"

"That was the immature determination of a girl, Lee." She interjected.

Most times he would have stopped there. Because he was a gentleman and because he was obviously upsetting her. But he had to do it. Unless he did, he doubted that he could ever ask her about it again. And he had to know. No amount of assurances of the 'youthful power of love' by Gai-sensei could dissolve that question mark for him- and he _did _feel shame about that. His sensei's word was his very reality. "And everyone could tell that your feelings for Naruro _evolved_ through the years…"

Sakura looked down and sighed. "I love them both. " she admitted. "I really do. But I didn't _give up_. Lee… that's insulting to you and us."

Now he joined her in staring at the ground, feeling guilty that he had even opened his mouth. Feeling worse than merely guilty, because, in spite of her assurance- in addition to his sensei's- he remained unconvinced. It wasn't so much that he thought that she was laying to him, as much as he had to wonder if she was lying to herself. He hated doubting her. He wanted- _needed_- to believe her.

Pale hands reached out to hold his. "Ever since I was a girl I had always dreamed that eventually I would meet someone who would love me unconditionally, keep me safe and I would live with him happily ever after. And I had really thought that that man would one day be Sasuke. I was sure of it."

Lee blinked at her. If this was her idea of allaying his fears and making her point, it really wasn't working quite right. That simple thought she had described was the dream of every little girl who waited for her knioght in shining armor. That knight would have Uchiha Sasuke's perfect face or Hyuuga Neji's silent grace or even Uzumaki Naruto's unyielding determination. Lee had never seen himself as the hero of such a fairytale. Anything he had managed to accomplish in life, he had done so with effort and pain- there had never been any sort of celestial grace and divine providence to his achievements. There had never been talent or fate or any sort of extraordinary force that would facilitate anything. He was who he was simply because of his hard work- and he was no prince; a prince would never have to get his hands as dirty as he had.

"Everyone knew that Sasuke was jaded… a lot… but every woman loves a sufferer. I had fantasized that my _healing touch_ would be his salvation. And then he'd change- shed all those things that made him difficult and be the man I wanted." She continued and- to his surprise- rolled her eyes at her words. Then she smiled a little. "And then there was Naruto, who annoyed me to no end at first. He was loud and always in my way… I always had to compete with him for Sasuke's attention and he always seemed to win." Her smile faded and her tone darkened a bit as she picked up the thread of another story. "But then Sasuke left. Naruto was the only real thing for me as everything else was falling apart. We went after Sasuke together- me because I was in love and him, because…"

The pause made him arch a brow. Sakura seemed like a torrent of memories poured behind her eyes that lit up or dimmed with scenes from years of search and pain and desperate hope.

"Because nothing seemed to matter to him as much as getting Sasuke back. Not even his dream of becoming Hokage. Through those years I really saw him… watched his passion and loyalty to Sasuke and thought that I'd really want him to give those things to me too." She looked at him then, no regrets, just acceptance. "But Sasuke won't change, nor should he have to. People should be loved and accepted as they are, ne? And Naruto will never feel the way he does for anyone but Sasuke… and that's fine, because I am nothing like Sasuke."

"Sakura…" he started.

"No, listen to me." She stopped him and smiled softly. "I look at you and think that I'm an idiot. Because everything that I have ever wanted to change in Sasuke and everything that I had wanted from Naruto was right before my eyes this entire time." She squeezed his hands. "I didn't give up; I finally _understood_."

He looked at her almost uncomprehendingly. This is what he had been wanting- praying- to hear from her all along, but never quite believed that he would. The unreality of it all made the feeling of happiness swelling in him feel like a soap bubble, about to burst at the lightest touch. It made him feel more drank than any amount of alcohol he had ever had- just as light-headed, spaghetti-legged, but thankfully without the mad rage outburst. There was nothing he could say in response to such a gift, so he simply brought her hands to his lips and kissed them reverently. His girlfriend smiled warmly at him, before the mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

"What are you doing? Am I your grandma or something." She said and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

It was such a simple gesture between people who were involved the way they were, but he had yet to get used to it. Lee felt as much of a nervous wreck during each of their kisses as he had the very first time. She pulled back and looked into his eyes with that shy smile and the light blush- like she always looked during intimate moments, beautiful and immaculate. He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ears again, stroking her chin as his hand fell away.

"I think that in your words you can also find the reason why things will work out for your teammates as well." He said confidently. "Naruto-kun's feelings for Sasuke-kun have only gotten stronger through the years."

This time she smiled a little. "He worships the ground Sasuke walks on." She confirmed with a chuckle.

"And Sasuke-kun _has _changed for Naruto-kun." He added. "The fact that he apologized to him at Ino's party is evidence enough, no?"

She blinked as though the thought was entirely new to her. "He has, hasn't he?" she muttered absently, testing the words in her mouth. "He has changed for Naruto… not because of him- _for _him."

"… Huh?" was all he could say after a confused moment. Whatever new realization had dawned upon her, it had left her looking like she had just had a mini-stroke. It was very disturbing. "Are you okay?"

Then she laughed. It was the kind of laughter that might spill from someone's mouth when something is too big or shocking for the mind to really process. The cause could be grief or joy or just something so simple, forever right before one's eyes that had never quite clicked until that specific moment. She laughed for a while, holding her stomach in pain, almost doubling over.

It took her a few alarming moments to collect herself. "I'm okay, Lee, I promise." She said half-laughing, still. "Well, maybe not _entirely_, but I will be."

"Did I… say something wrong?" he asked somewhat reluctantly, still unsure as to what happened and really not wanting her to go into another creepy laughing fit.

Sakura waved her hand dismissively and smiled at him. "Not at all… you pointed out the obvious." She sighed. "I suppose it's difficult to really see something change when you're _sure_ you know everything. And I keep learning that I don't know all that much…"

He frowned, forming a prominent dark cloud over his eyes. "I don't understand…" he said just as reluctantly and not entirely sure he even _wanted_.

When her laughter eased entirely, her smile was familiar. "If I'm right, it will become apparent soon enough." She got up. "I have to go back to work... Sorry about all this…"

He fell in step beside her, mirroring her smile. "I'm not. I'm always here to share your troubles, Sakura-san."

"Lee, what have I told you about suffi-"

Her tone had been stern, but she was cut short as he used that moment to be bold and kiss her. Gai-sensei would be proud. After a moment, he pulled back with a huge, blush that she matched perfectly. "I know… Sakura." He said, smiling and noticing- and hoping to Kami that she didn't- that his voice was unusually high-pitched. He gave a small bow, and as she started to walk up the stair to the hospital, he turned to walk away. His knees felt so weak. However brave the act, he was still the same nervous wreck as usual.

"Lee…" she called to him. "How about dinner tonight?"

The smile on his face broadened. "I'd love to." He said. "Should I pick you up at 7?"

"No, just meet me at my house. My mother will be cooking."

There was a gargling, choking sound rising in his throat instead of words. He really, really was happy, but the impromptu invitation to have dinner with the _in_-_laws, _bit it was just so terribly stressful. Sakura started to look concerned and was about to walk to him when he forced a smile on his face- that practically hurt- and gave his good guy pose. "I'll be there."

She smiled. "Dinner is at 7.30. Don't be late, or my father will kill you." she said with a straight face, getting that deer in the headlight look. She laughed and waved at him as she stepped inside. "Just kidding."

Honest to _Kami_, he could never tell with that girl. The thought made him smile to himself a moment, before he remembered his dinner-date tonight. He needed to get flowers. A cake, probably. Presents? Would that make him seem too desperate to be liked? Though Sakura had pleaded with him not to go to Gai-sensei for advice in matters like that, he really could use his help right there and then.

Dinner was a simple enough task, wasn't it? But if Sakura was a product of her environment, he dreaded to see what mama and papa Haruno were like. A mental image of a pink haired man with inhuman strength and a very short fuse came to mind and sent shivers down his spine. He was sure that for most people the mental image would be funny, but _he_ was the one that was having dinner with the man. He bet there would be a pink moustache involved too- just because it would be funny no matter how serious the situation and he never really got a break.

Lee slumped his shoulders for a moment. "Gai-sensei…" he muttered miserably.

He was a simple man in a pretty complex word and most days that was fine, because it was often easy to trim down life's mystery. People needed people. People needed love. People needed the hope that tomorrow would be better than today. People needed dream- the death of which was worse than the death of flesh. People needed a reason- because there was no darkness like a soul's that has lost its way. Gaara had agreed that what he said was probably true, other than the cases of sociopaths and the Akatsuki- which he figured was pretty much the same thing.

It occurred to him then that he was smiling and the previous cloud of thoughts that had overwhelmed him was a thing of the past. Simple as that. He started walking towards the shops, breathing in the air full of spices, from the food that the housewives prepared, but mostly the summer itself. He considered giving Neji a second try as a relationship advisor, but decided against it.

When one was so complicated, so intricately refined, they could no longer grasp the simple workings a mind like his. And that was fine, because, in his simple, little world, he was truly happy.

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And that was Lee! Taaaa-daaaah!! So sorry for the delays, but it couldn't be helped. Next chappie will be Gai pov … with Kakashi … and random guest stars. Just because Those two make for really random dialogue and because I feel like battling my Angsty muse and writing something a little more light-hearted. In the meantime, I hope you lovely people enjoy this one.

Love and Kisses!

Ja!

M.


	30. Ebb 16: Compulsions

**A/N:** Hello, mina-san! Once again, sorry for the delay, but RL is keeping me too busy for frequent updates at this time… but in all fairness, this is a pretty long chapter. Quite a few characters are participating or making cameos as a kind of can't-believe-it's-30-chapters celebration. Thank all of you guys who have come back again and again to read, tons of smooches to my reviewers, who have made this a really fun ride. I want to thank especially **TWNJ **and **TheCityTurnsOrange** for dealing with my backstage nagging about the chapters and generally being SUCH cool people.

Many many thanks and smoochies to my- in spite of my efforts STILL- anon reader: **Kakashi's Dog** - … I was not lazy. I was busy- at least this time. I'm happy you liked Lee. Here's hoping you like my Gai too. :-D

**Another Note  
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Though it's not the focal point of the chapter, I feel the need to provide some information in case the game confuses you. A brief summary of what _Shogi_ is about is, it's a bit like chess. Or rather where chess originated from. You have typically "black" and "white" (tho all the pieces are white) and the black always go first, unless the white sacrifice certain pieces ("handicap" is the term for that) to switch turns. It's a strategy game- for the most part like chess- the objective being to capture the King (_Osho/ Gyokusho_), tho that rarely happens- most times, the loser consents to defeat. Something that is significantly different than chess is the _drops_, which is capturing an enemy piece and turning it to an ally piece. Also, when a piece is into the "promotion zone", which is the enemy territory they choose to promote their piece by turning it over, ie the Flying Chariot (_Hisha_) is promoted to a promoted pieces return to their original rank. There is a player ranking in the game starting from 15 _kyu_ to 1 _kyu _and the 1 _dan_ and upwards- like _karate_.

I hope this give you an idea about the game. If it interests you or you want more information, there is a great article about it in Wikipedia that includes strategies, history and details. I really suggest it to chess-lovers. :-D

**Disclaimer:** I own a misleading cookbook… nothing comes out as it looks in the photo… Grr… ::ahem:: Don't own Naruto, I mean. ;-)

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 16:_ Compulsions_

The world could be a dangerous place for a ninja. Most people would never know how real monsters were, how close to utter distraction they had come, because their protectors had been there to buffer those threats. It was amazing that ninjas could survive their day to day existence, not knowing which fight will be their last or knowing that the end may come in a much sillier and anticlimactic way- like tripping on a twig and cracking their skull open on a rock, how heroic. If asked what the greatest challenge was to overcome, most ninjas would say "one's personal fears". That was right and true- and by no means a small feat to accomplish- but when it came to him, the challenge of all challenges was overcoming his compulsions. Annoying, useless, irresistible compulsions. They were like cats- the more he fed them the more they would come back.

And speaking of challenges, his compulsions were responsible for his current predicament. Why, oh why, did he even _bother_ with _this_ silly challenge? It had been on for years, but he couldn't just let go- or let his _rival_ let go, for that matter. At the very least, he could stop punishing himself for giving into this old habit- really now, why did he have to go and _promise_ to do 1,000 back flips, if he _lost_ in a game he wasn't very familiar with in the first place? Yes, compulsions were a vile, noxious inner enemy.

"Your move."

The reminder made him blink. He had been trundling his _Kinsho_(1) between his fingers, absently staring at the wooden grid where their game was in progress. Just as he was particularly bad at giving up, he found that he was just as bad when it came to just admitting that his mind had strayed- especially not to this man, sitting across from him looking lazily back. It wasn't about saving face or anything of the sort, but the simple, maddening fact that, no matter what he did, the other Jounin would always manage to keep up- if not upstage him. If compulsions were a pain to begin with, the addition of this constant catalyst to them in his otherwise jolly life made them impossible.

Maito Gai flashed Hatake Kakashi his most radiant grin. "Getting impatient, Kakashi? That is the sign of anxiety before loss." He declared, even though he didn't seriously believe it.

The silver-haired man across from him, used to his antics, just breathed out and conceded unconvincingly. "Hai, hai…"

He slammed his _Kinsho_ on the board, looking entirely confident. For the umpteenth time Kakashi tilted his head, trying to make sense of his opponent's "strategy". In truth, he had _no_ strategy whatsoever. None. Zilch. Nada. In _truth_, he had never even actually finished a game of shogi in his life- there had always been an interruption. His eternal rival was a strange man. Just when he was getting fired up for another sparring match, the other man would come up with the most peculiar challenges- the weirdest being that 'rock, paper, scissors' fiasco, which Kakashi had promised he'd never call again. True to his compulsions- and their competitive relationship- he had accepted whatever the challenge may be beforehand.

"Gai… are you _sure_ you're going somewhere with this?" Kakashi asked, tactfully as possible.

"Just because my strategy goes over your head, doesn't mean I have none, Kakashi." He smirked and gave the thumbs up.

The other Jounin arched his neck to peek at the sky for a moment and those gathering storm clouds. It had been an insufferable summer in the Fire Country this year- days starting sunny and hot, only to be interrupted by sudden downpours that would last only a while, leaving the air humid. The wooden kiosk would protect them from sun and rain, but the humidity was pretty bad. Blinking at the board once, as though his turn had been an afterthought- Kakashi picked up his _Kyosha_(2) and took another one of Gai's _Fuhyo_(3)- _dropped_ as he had called it, which didn't make much sense since he was _holding_ all the pieces in his hand.

Compulsions would find the strangest manifestations. The compulsion to protect would extend to non-living things- like his fallen _Fuhyo_- which inevitably led him to take the game too personally. It wasn't healthy or productive, but he couldn't help it any more than he could his awful memory. So, against common sense and traditional wisdom, he decided to play, as it had all seemed simple enough when he had watched Asuma and Shikamaru play. As it turned out, all he had retained was- in a vague manner- how to move his pieces. It wasn't nearly enough, as evidenced by the fact that he was playing out short funeral processions in his head for his lost pieces every couple of moves. Admittedly, watching Kakashi had helped him freshen up on what he had forgotten, which was why he had gallantly offered to have the white. More than pragmatism, he would always feel more comfortable with somehow representing the light- white- in a fight against darkness- versus black- that the other man seemed, oddly, just as comfortable with.

"Hatake-sama." Suddenly an ANBU guard was by their side. She was wearing a feline mask with two distinctive red lines below the ear and under the chin. "Uchiha Sasuke is currently inside the old temple south of the mansion. His actions thus far do not seem suspicious."

Now the ANBU were _developing_ compulsions. To Gai, their absolute need to stick to the rules set for them by their Village- more than any other division of ninjas- was a learned behavior. Most times the end result was the performance of heroic duties, but he had always felt that there was a certain amount of brainwashing going on that could potentially be a double edged sword. It was why Kakashi had eventually left- unable to define himself as a mere weapon, or confine himself in norms. At least that's what the silver haired man had told him one night that he had felt talkative on their way back from a mission, blood- their enemies' or theirs, they weren't sure- soaking in their clothes. They had all done that at one point or another; they had all started talking, just to avoid thinking.

Kakashi nodded. "Thank you."

The ANBU hesitated for a moment. "He has been in there for a while and surveillance is limited due to the architecture of the temple. Should we remove him?"

There was a twinge of something unintelligible to Gai in the dark depths of his rival's visible eye, but it had no bearing on his posture. "No. I'm taking responsibility, in case he misbehaves… but for now let him be."

"Hai." The ANBU acknowledged simply and, just like that, she was gone.

The exchange had left them with an almost tangible air of tension that Gai didn't quite understand. If Kakashi had really wanted to discuss something, it would have already come up. The other Jounin was a very private man, very much like he was compulsive. And his compulsion to rise to challenges would only be rivaled by his compulsion to _interfere_- not _meddle_, like Asuma had accused- in order to make things right. He supposed his belief that he was even capable of fixing anything, betrayed an amount of conceit. It didn't bother him, though- he was never sure of the result, but he would always be willing to try.

"So." He cleared his throat and moved his own _Kyosha_ two squares ahead. "How has Sasuke been? Excited about his upcoming hearing?"

Though it had always been hard to tell when- if ever- something affected the silver haired man, the question apparently distracted him. He had been about to place one of the hostage _Fuhyo_ on the 'black' side of the board, but, after the question, he placed it facing his way, effectively returning it to his opponent. "Sasuke is Sasuke. It's always been hard to tell what that boy is thinking."

Gai watched him bemused for a moment. Had that move even been _legal_? He blinked. It _had_ to be, if Kakashi had done it, although he didn't remember it in any other game he had watched. Then again, his memory had never been his forte. "He _has_ to be happy though." He said, staring at his recovered piece like it was a mini-bomb. "Now he can have his life back. Plus, spending some time with Naruto away from the village should bring his youthful attitude back."

It seemed as though the wording had made Kakashi cringe a bit. "Sasuke never has never quite been the _youthful_ type to begin with; but I agree." He placed another one of the _Fuhyo _on the board, this time on his side. "Spending time with Naruto is going to bring _something_ back…"

He moved his recovered _Fyhyo_ cautiously, expecting that it would be used against him in some unforeseeable way, possibly ending the game. That would be so typical of his rival. He watched as said rival picked up his _Kakugyo_(4). "You should be proud. I have never seen two ninjas more loyal and committed to each other." He said seriously.

This time the effect was obvious, because the comment made the other Jounin pause mid-thought- and, quite likely, mid motion- because he just put the piece down almost randomly. "Most days I would have preferred an easier task than dealing with those two." He said a little cryptically.

Now that was strange. Not only had Kakaashi reacted in an uneasy manner to words that had been meant as a complement, but that last move didn't seem to threaten any of his pieces or force him to make a move, goading him in a certain direction. A thought formed in Gai's head and he smiled.

Kakashi looked up a little warily. "What?"

"Nothing." He replied, the smile refusing to leave him in the face of this particular epiphany. "Now, " he said and cracked his knuckles, mentally going over potential moves as the new possibilities presented themselves before him. "Get ready to lose, Kakashi!"

The other man just rolled his eyes. "Why do we keep doing this, again?"

It earned him a look as though he was crazy, but then again, that man was the most compulsion-fee person he had ever met- a trait that he seemed to have failed to imbibe in his students. Seriously, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura could all write their individual encyclopedias in compulsions. Not that _he _was one to point fingers or cast stones in glass houses. "We are tied again. 108-108 is just not acceptable."

"Neither was 8-8… or 48-48- or 98-98 for that matter…" he said in mild exasperation.

Maybe it was the 8s that miffed him, but he had felt just as compulsive about any other number. Worse than defeat for him was a tie. A tie messed with his competitive nature- it meant that neither is better than the other, which he knew was not the case and was even prepared to accept that the "better" was not him. He moved his _Keima_(5)close to the promotion zone andwas about to respond when Neji landed a few feet from them, with Tenten following suit. Though it had been years since he had first seen the boy, he would forever be in awe of the absolute grace and the air of quiet power the boy would exude so effortlessly. One thing that had always amazed him- quite a detail, but he _had_ to notice- was that the Hyuuga protégé never spoke up until he was within hearing distance. Even in cases of emergency he would rather hurry to someone than call out- raise his voice in any way.

Well, to each his own.

The Hyuuga genius walked to them with measured, unhurried steps, his face gaining a slight pink tint when he spotted Kakashi. "Kakashi- sensei. Gai-sensei." He greeted tensely, when he was close enough for sound to adhere to his compulsion- because _everyone_ had at least _one _thing that they felt had to be _so_ in order for the world to make sense.

"Neji! Tenten!" he greeted back delightfully- and loudly, giving a small scare to unsuspecting civilians that just happened to be passing by. "How was the mission? Where is Kiba? I thought he was teamed up with you."

Gai thought he saw a vein throb at the side of the boy's head which was most assuredly not his Byakugan. Weird. Kakashi had just waved at them and was currently frowning at the _shogi_ set, most likely retracting his last few moves. He looked confused. As to Tenten, the girl looked absolutely radiant. _Someone _had fun during the mission. He leered at Neji, whose eyes went wide, the pink hue becoming a distinct red over his neck and cheeks. And speaking of neck… was that a _hickey_…? He had always suspected that there _had_ to be a reason that the boy was keeping his hair long. Other than hiding hickeys, his long hair was an accident waiting to happen- between fighting, burning stuff during missions and what not, if not for his legendary grace, he could easily slap or set himself ablaze with that ponytail-ish thing he had going.

Neji must have realized what he was staring at, because his hand flew to his neck, the red on his cheeks getting even more prominent and infecting Tenten. "The mission was fine. Kiba had to go and joke about Team Gai's fashion sense." He said a little irritably.

"Oh! You found _it_?" Gai asked excitedly, moving past his previous mental notes and his ex-student's discontent. "Good. Lee has almost outgrown his outfit."

"Maybe Lee would appreciate a change?" Tenten interjected the suggestion. "Gai-sensei, you seriously need to stop dressing up Lee. He's got a _girlfriend_ now."

He blinked uncomprehendingly. "All the more reason."

Kakashi was busy scratching his head in confusion for the _unfortunate_ moves, but he looked up at that, his visible eye moving from Gai to Neji, to the package he was carrying. Realization dawned and he shook his head. He could have sworn there was a muttered floating, "Poor Sakura…", floating his way.

"At least get him something… _nice_." Neji insisted.

"Green is nice." Gai panned back.

"Something different." The boy rephrased.

"If something is not broken, why fix it?" he responded easily, dismissing the silly notion. Lee and himself had been favoring those wonderful outfits for years.

"Get him something that _blends in_." Neji tried again, his voice sounding a wee bit strained. "He's a _ninja_ for Kami's sake!"

He blinked again. "Green blends in."

"With _what_?" the Hyuuga finally lost his patience. "Maybe there's enough _green_ out there, but the _orange_ is not helping."

Well, apparently his student had a fashion sense. "What's wrong with orange? Naruto wears orange."

Neji just stared at his ex-mentor as by bringing the blonde ninja into this, he was making his point for him. Gai didn't get it.

"Yare, yare…" Kakashi looked up, his visible eye the familiar crescent that would usually suggest he was smiling. "How old is this argument?"

Gai frowned. "What argument?"

"As old as Team Gai itself…" Tenten lamented.

"In any case." He started again. "Not _all_ of us have a major Konoha _family_ to dress us, Neji. And I would appreciate it, if you reserved your comments for a point in time that you have traded _white_ for something that _blends in_." and then he smiled and gave him thumbs up for the hell of it- quite compulsively. Very much like _'ttebayo_ would trail a majority of Naruto's sentences, the thumbs up would do the same for Gai.

Neji's lavender eyes twitched- and twitched even more when Tenten chuckled. "We have to report to the Hokage." He said, finally giving up with a deep sigh- as he always did, when he argued with his ex-mentor.

"Of course. Give her my regards." Gai smiled at them both as they said their goodbyes and made their exit.

Their exit was hurried enough that the Hyuuga boy momentarily misplaced his grace and nearly collided with Ibiki and Anko, who had just crossed his path. The exchange didn't seem to go all that well because whatever Anko said made Neji blush madly again. She might have noticed the little mark on his neck or just as well unleashed at him a line of curses about being careless that would make seasoned ninjas red with shame. Ibiki was merciful enough to drag her away- which was a good thing, because he had always suspected that his genius student might just faint, if he got _too_ embarrassed. Hyuugas could do miraculous things and face anyone and any_thing_ with unwavering resolve, but simply lacked the constitution to deal with foul language.

"And I thought _I_ was on Sasuke's case." Kakashi cut through his thoughts, obviously amused.

He beamed at the comment, accepting his rival's words as praise. "He needs to learn how to take himself less seriously."

The silver haired Jounin smiled a little. "No arguments there." He said and picked up his _Ginsho_(6).

Gai immediately realized that his overconfidence had left quite a few of his pieces open for a drop, so he cleared his throat and started. "You are fortunate that you have Naruto helping you with Sasuke."

True to form, his legendary rival cringed and took a deep breath, once again carelessly placing his piece wherever it may land. This single visible eye, settled on Gai skeptically. "You have quite an interest in my students." He observed somewhat suspiciously.

Suspicion was greeted with a set of perfect teeth shining in an impossibly wide grin. "With Lee and Sakura dating we are practically in-laws."

"Right." Kakashi sighed. "Here's hoping that it's something that's built to last. Sakura won't find a better man than Lee. You've done a wonderful job with that boy, Gai."

Those words meant more than he could possibly convey. "Thank you, Kakashi!" he said honestly touched, then smiled. "Just imagine their kids!"

He could have sworn Kakashi shivered. Maybe there was a draft?

Truth be told, Gai did feel a measure of guilt for using a troublesome matter against him, but Kakashi was just as guilty for accepting his challenge when his heart wasn't in it. More than that, had this particular game of shogi been a sparing session, his rival would have been full of openings. More than that yet, had he been fighting an enemy, he would have been killed. The thought rather scared him. For all their rivalry and compulsive challenges, Kakashi was an integral part of his reality. What he felt was more than a mere compulsion.

People would always repeat the little routines that made up their very reality, because what they knew was familiar- it was the soft pillow that they could fall back on whatever may come in. Sometimes compulsions created misery, repeating the same behaviors in an endless cycle that would never bring happiness, but would also never allow what's new to taint what's habitual. Gai would never understand that, but he had watched his rival, his comrades, even his students easily fall into that pattern without seeking salvation. Most people never did. He had come to believe that in the case of Hatake Kakashi, the Jounin couldn't really bring himself to believe that he deserved to be happy.

With that in mind, he leaned back on his chair. "There's obviously something troubling you about them. Want to talk?"

The Copy Ninja took a deep breath and rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. "I suppose I could use a third party's opinion."

That was rather unexpected. It made him feel all youthful and fuzzy inside. Perhaps it was compulsion, or not, that he had made himself his rival's self-appointed guardian. _Someone_ had to remind him that there was more to life than loss. "Yes?"

Kakashi looked at him sternly. "But you can't discuss this with _absolutely_ anyone."

He nodded. "Yes? Yes?" he urged.

"I mean it, Gai." The other Jounin stressed.

"Yes. I get it. Now go on." He affirmed impatiently. He wasn't into gossip per se, but sometimes things did tend to slip when he wasn't paying enough attention to his mouth. Like, say, mentioning that Itachi had been in town while Sasuke was at the door all those years ago.

Another deep breath. "Well… the thing is-"

"Oopf!"

The sound made both men turn their attention to the side to find Shizune on the ground under a pile of books and scrolls. The girl seemed to be in a daze and both of them tried to pull her out from what looked like a sizable burden. Some compulsions came with certain undeniable advantages for others. For example, the young Hokage assistant could not, for the life of her, let the Godaime forgo any of her responsibilities. Everything had to be done in a timely fashion. Such a compulsion was a boon from Kami himself for someone in an administrative position.

She dusted herself looking embarrassed. "Uh… I'm sorry for the mess." She apologized awkwardly seeing as the two Jounin were in the process of piling everything up again. "Please don't bother, I'll take it from here."

"There's no way we can leave a lady carry all that by herself." Gai declared.

Shizune smiled a little. "I don't mean to insult you, but this is confidential documentation… only me and the ANBU can carry them." Her smile cricked twisted, as she added. "Besides, it will be embarrassing if anyone is present for the _talk_ I intend to have with Tsunade-sama…"

So the Godaime had been slacking off again. Shizune was known for her temperamental defense of truth, priorities and order. Godsend as she might be for the Hokage, neither man would want to have _her_ in charge of their routines. More than just holding steadfast to her expedient compulsions, the dark haired girl would be just plain _right_ just about any time she opened her mouth… He had yet to find someone who wanted to be around _that_ on a daily basis.

"Thank you for your help." She said graciously, hidden behind that huge pile of paperwork and started her way towards the Hokage Tower with renewed exuberance.

Kakashi scratched his head. "She has the ant syndrome…" he noted with evident wonder at the kind of weight that girl could manage.

"Yes…" Gai cleared his throat. "Now about what you were saying…?"

"Ah, right." Kakashi settled back on the table and picked up his _Osho_(7) regarding the piece thoughtfully. "What would you do if you found out that your students ha-"

"This doesn't look right." This time it was Shikamaru, looking down at their grind with a frown. "Are you sure you _both_ know the rules?"

Both men regarded the lazy chuunin somewhat surprised. Most days one would have a hard time motivating Nara Shikamaru to get involved in anything obligatory, let alone something insignificant that he wasn't even a part of. Gai wondered if it was the boy's compulsion, because he had already aced the game that had been something very intimate between him and his dead mentor. He sure did miss Asuma… Everyone did. The closest Shikamaru had ever come to losing had been after his mentor's funeral- or so his prideful father had been heard to remark.

"_Relatively_ sure, Shikamaru." Kakashi said with a casual smile. "What brings you here?"

"His tendency to slack off from anything that requires responsibility." A new voice provided assertively, making the boy slump his shoulders, as Temari came into view.

The gossip relating to the two ninjas was well circulated all over Konoha and Suna, so when the blond girl stepped up to his side, Gai had to smile. Youth and love were a marvelous combination. It also explained the boy's high spirits. Sure he seemed lazy as ever to the average villager, but there was nothing average about a Jounin- and both present could tell that the girl's visits had become more frequent and the impact of her departure more intense on Konoha's Ace the more time went by. Maybe someday, for the first time, wedding bells would echo in both villages.

Temari gave a small, respectful bow then smirked at her companion and turned away without another word.

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck, smirking slightly. "Troublesome woman…" he reiterated for the gazillionth time, starting after her. "See you later, senseis… read the rulebook again."

Gai was all for communication and interaction. In fact he was one of the most loquacious people in Konoha, but right there and then he was less interested in socializing and a lot more in what Kakashi had to say and could do without all the interruptions. "Kakashi-"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Gai's eyes narrowed, as he experienced the rare emotion of borderline annoyance. Seriously, was the _entire_ village going to drop by for a word?

Sakura strutted her way to them looking rather on the pissed off side. The silver-haired Jounin looked up at her in part bemused at her aggressive attitude, but there was something about him that suggested he could hazard a guess about the reasons behind it. A long, tired sigh left his lips as he shifted to face her.

"Sakura." He said pleasantly.

"Where is Sasuke?" she cut straight to the chase, her eyes darting around in search of the Uchiha.

There was a fine line between compulsion and obsession that the pink haired girl had always flirted with when it came to her teammates. The compulsion was almost motherly, kind of sisterly too, trying to keep the two boys in line when nothing else could. The obsession started when, apparently, she couldn't let them go- couldn't stop revolving her life around Naruto and Sasuke. Lee had once confided in him that he doubted that it would ever change and, though his student was a lot more confident these days, he still reserved judgment.

Kakashi tilted his head slightly at her, as though he was noticing something interesting. It distracted her, making her somewhat self-conscious- which was probably the intended purpose, because the action took some of the edge off her temper. "Sasuke is at the mansion, meditating."

She seemed quite shocked and uncertain at that. "He's with Naruto?"

"No." the Jounin returned his attention to the board. "I left him with the ANBU. He's no fun when he's being productive."

Sakura's hands curled into fists and there was something rather manic in her eyes as she said. "When I'm done with him, the most _productive_ thing he'll be able to do is use a freakin' spoon."

"Sakura." This time his tone halted her, even as she turned to leave. Kakashi didn't look up as he continued solemnly. "Let him be."

The girl stood there for a moment, her teal eyes wide in realization. "You know…" she almost whispered. "He told you?"

Kakashi looked up this time, meeting her eyes wordlessly.

"He _told_ you!" her voice was several octaves louder than her usual tone, effectively moving from stunned recognition to avid indignation. "He _actually_ opened his stubborn mouth and _told_ you."

Gai was feeling very much like a mirage through all this, something very new and unusual considering his robust personality. He wouldn't have minded much, but he had felt compelled to view Sakura as a daughter-in-law of sorts and it was just _wrong_ to ignore him. A frown formed over his eyes for the additional reason that he had absolutely _no_ idea in hell what the two were talking about. As far as he was concerned they might as well have been speaking in another language.

"And what did you say?" she demanded, translating his silence as confirmation.

"Nothing." Her ex-mentor replied.

She just glared accusingly. She didn't yell, didn't threaten. This was serious.

Kakashi sighed. "Some things are beyond the reaches of advice, Sakura." He said. "Sasuke and Naruto will have to figure this one out on their own."

"If I'm right, they _both_ need advice." She said rather tersely. "They are both goofs. They can't be trusted with major life-altering decisions."

"They _are_ goofs." He confirmed. "But it's _their_ major life-altering decision- and not an easy one. Let them be."

It was Sakura's turn to sigh, dropping her hands to her sides. "I hope you're right."

That was quite enough with the cryptic dialogue. Gai cleared his throat getting their attention, both looking at him as though he had just materialized across the table out of thin air. Well, _that_ wasn't insulting. Surely he deserved a little more than that from both of them. Compulsions or not, his feelings were a little hurt. The Sandaime had once told him that he would always be a child at heart. If the older man hadn't laughed right after that, he might have felt more confident that it had been a compliment.

"Gai-sensei!" Sakura blushed, hands clasping nervously behind her back. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here."

She really wasn't helping promote his student's case. He tried not to make it look too obvious, but all this talk about Naruto and Sasuke had made his compulsion to _protect_ Lee rear its ugly head. "How have you been, Sakura? Meeting Lee soon?"

So maybe this wasn't quite as discreet as he had aimed for, because Kakashi's visible eye trailed to him charily and Sakura looked entirely too self-conscious.

"Uh… Lee left on a mission this morning…" she said a bit hesitantly. "I thought you knew…?"

"Ah!" Gai didn't miss a beat. "So with Lee _gone_, it's a good time to catch up with your _ex_-teammates." And though he hadn't meant to for it to sound that way, the wording _had_ the _ex-boyfriends_ ring to it. Lee would have been very upset with him.

"No- that's not…" she started quickly, somewhat defensive. "I'm concerned, that's all."

"Uh-huh…" Gai said skeptically after a moment.

"Kakashi-sensei!" she demanded then, feeling absurdly cornered.

The Copy Ninja, who seemed to have been having fun with the girl's plight- probably because he had often been the target of her fiery temper and this was a nice change of pace- sighed and waved his hand dismissively at Gai. "There's nothing suspicious going on- stop being the mother-hen so much. I bet that Lee wouldn't appreciate it."

He just about bit his lip at that. It's one thing to think about it, another entirely to hear it out loud. Clearing his throat again, he started over. "Of course there's nothing _suspicious_ going on." He smiled at his protégé's girlfriend- who did seem to relax noticeably- somewhat assured by his rival's interjection. "My favorite student would not just fall in love with just _anyone_."

Sakura gasped and blushed madly, but then she smiled, her eyes shining with emotion. It occurred to him that maybe he had confessed his student emotions for him. He sighed. He just couldn't win with this one, but the girl's expression had done all he needed to assure him of her intentions and the clarity of her emotions. By-gones were by-gones sooner than one could say _Lee_.

"Thank you, Gai-sensei." She said coyly, then she gave her ex-mentor a long sidelong look. "And you, Kakashi-sensei, you had better make sure this works out. I mean it." She said tersely and sighed. "Sad as it may be, you are the closest thing Sasuke has to a father figure. So _his_ fuck ups…" she smiled dangerously. "Well… they are not _his_ alone."

It must have taken a lot out of Kakashi not to shiver. At least that was his guess, because he was sure that he wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of _that_ warning. It was strange, the kind of relationship that the silver haired man seemed to have with his ex-students. Though it was perhaps the closest he had gotten to _anyone _since Obito had died and Rin had left, the amount of deprecating interactions he had with the kids on regular basis, had been perhaps all the affirmation he required that letting people in was a _bad_ idea. Gai had let his students in- in fact some of then had tried with tooth and nail to stay out- and none of _them_ would ever address him this way- and no other Jounin that he knew of had similar difficulties either.

"Ri-ight." He said, half-seriously acknowledging the threat. "Anything else?"

A sad look threatened to cross her features for a moment, but then her eyes caught sight of two particular kunoichi, who walked down the street past them. "No, nothing." She said hurriedly. "I'm late meeting Ino and Hinata for lunch." She smiled and waved on her way out. "Nice to see you, Gai-sensei, you better make things right Kakashi-sensei!"

And just like that, she was gone giving into the universal female compulsion of SSC- "shared, social commentary", not _gossip_. There was a kind of unique camaraderie between women that men would never quite get, but quite often would get punished for as a result of those sessions. Seriously, a guy was involved with a girl and _all_ her close friends in the relationship- they knew everything, judged him and passed judgment accordingly. Gai had to blink those thoughts away, refocusing on Sakura. The girl had just uttered a gracious goodbye and an unconcealed threat in the same sentence with no wavering in her tone.

"Yare, yare…" Kakashi released a deep breath, almost as though he was reading his mind.

"The power of youth is strong in this one." Gai said proudly, as a way to congratulate his rival for a job well-done.

Said rival did not appear as enthusiastic about it. "Wait till you see her crushing concrete walls and hollowing solid rock with a single blow."

Gai arched his brows. "Not one for domestic disputes then, eh?"

"Tsunade-sama taught her too well." The other man accounted dolefully.

Well, that was disturbing some, but he was sure that Lee could deal with it. Probably. He shook his head, returning to their previous, ever-interrupted discussion. "So what about Sasuke and Naruto?"

"Eh?" Kakashi's single eye snapped at him, before he slumped his shoulders a little. There was something irrefutably perturbed underlying his smooth tone as he continued, finally putting his _Osho_ back on the board. "They have a very… _complicated_ relationship."

"Not really." He argued.

The other man arched a brow. "No?"

Gai folded his arms proudly across his chest, as he always did before sharing his pearls of wisdom. "Surely, there have been trials that demonstrated an extraordinary bond, but when it comes down to it, it's just like you and me- friends and rivals at the same time."

This time, the shiver that ran down Kakashi's spine at the statement could have easily been mistaken for a sudden convulsion. "Kami no." he said quickly. "They are…" he started, but seemed in decisive. "They have…" he tried again with no better results. He gave up with a shrug. "I'm not sure I'm the right person to be offering advice."

The whole thing was very confusing and Kakashi was being amply cryptic for someone seeking counsel. Gai was still unsure what they had been talking about. Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto and Sasuke… what? "I don't understand what is going on between your boys, but Sakura is right- you _are_ responsible for your students."

Kakashi blinked slowly. "You're a master at stating the obvious…" he said.

Apparently he was expecting something more, though Gai had no idea what that might be considering how little information he had provided. "Perhaps…" he frowned, considering his next words. "Perhaps part of providing proper guidance is selecting a proper messenger."

That seemed to interest the other Jounin. "Proper messenger…?"

"For example, I know that Tenten is more likely to get through to Neji about something that he gets all mulish over. You know how they are, having had an Uchiha as a student." He continued. "Lee respects me like a father and an idol, he believes I have all the answers." He smiled at the idea of how much stock the boy put in him, when in fact Lee had all the potential to surpass him. "Sakura inferred that Sasuke spoke to you. If that is true, you are probably the right messenger. Who does _Naruto_ listen to?"

There was a long, quiet moment that Kakashi took to consider his words. "If it were anything else, I'd have Sasuke talk to Naruto… but as it is…" his voice trailed off to pensive silence.

There was nothing more sacred than a student's well being to Gai so he respected the silence, waiting for his rival to arrive to a conclusion. He watched the street, buzzing with life, watched all the children that rushed around playing, yelling a laughing and felt hope fill him about Konoha's future. Maybe no other ninjas would have to be as heartbroken as their students' generation. His smile became warmer as he spotted one of the people who rocked the proverbial cradle of generations to come.

Gai waved and greeted. "Hey, Iruka!"

The meek chuunin turned around in search of the source of the loud call. Seeing Gai and Kakashi, he smiled softly- and Gai could swear that the man never outright grinned- and walked towards them, mock-admonishing the children for being careless on his way there. It wasn't compulsion, even as the man defined himself as what he did- teaching- unfortunately not realizing that it was _who _he was- a teacher, in the truest sense. Iruka was a naturally nurturing and caring person, but in no way less tough than any other ninja in battle.

"Gai, Kakashi." He greeted pleasantly.

"Yo." Kakashi greeted back with a smile.

"It's good to see you, Iruka." Gai said sincerely. "How are the preparations at the Academy going for the new year."

"Hectic." The chuunin said with unconcealed keenness. "We have quite a few new students and, thankfully, a few more chuunin signing up for the teaching positions. Tsunade-sama is having contraction crews remodeling the storage rooms to create more classrooms so that we won't get overcrowded. Everything looks very promising."

"You are fortunate to get to mold the youth of Konoha." Gai said, grinning.

"Depends on the day." Iruka replied tactfully, his smile curving his lips a bit more. "It's quite rewarding." He amended a bit more seriously. "It was nice seeing you both, but I was on my way to Naruto's, so-"

"To Naruto's?" the silver haired Jounin perked up at that. "How come?"

A soft frown clouded over the chuunin's dark eyes. "Hinata mentioned that Ino told her that Sakura was worried, because he hasn't really been out." He recounted, his voice gaining some disbelief at the idea that this information had come to him third-handed. "Perhaps it's just girltalk, but it's worth looking into. That's not like him."

"No, it's not." Kakashi affirmed and rose from his chair. "Let's take a walk, Iruka."

It was Gai's turn to frown. "What about out game?"

The other Jounin paused a moment then looked down at the grid for a few moments. He picked up his _Kakugyo_ and placed it into the promotion area, turning it into a _Ryuma_(8), also placing in two squares away from the rather open _Gyokusho_(9). Gai hadn't set up much of a defense, so just like that- in one move that shouldn't have been- it was over. He gapped at the board.

"108-109 for me." Kakashi said in his usual tone. "The next one will be your pick."

And with that, he set off dragging a bemused Iruka behind him, out of the nice kiosk that had been sheltering their game, and down the street. The sight was rather comical, but at the moment Gai was still rather confused as to how the hell _this_ had happened. Compulsions aside for a moment, he really _had_ thought that with Kakashi being that distracted, he should have won the game. He had even prepared a very nice speech in his head, in which he was scolding his rival for his inattentiveness. All that was just gone, in one move.

Gai sighed, then smiled, realizing that the legendary Copy Ninja would never be caught off guard, however preoccupied he might be. The thought soothed his compulsion to protect- because the other man was more than capable of protecting himself- fed his compulsion to win- because 108-109 would just not do- and reminded him of his unwavering commitment to _punishment_ for personal defeats.

Tomorrow was another chance to even the score and get ahead of Kakashi, but for the time being, 1,000 back flips it was.

* * *

So this is chapter 30. I hope you guys enjoyed it and that you had a really cool Halloween. :-D I was a zombie doctor this year… the irony of being the only person who could have helped myself was rather irresistible. Then a friend was the killer and another one a nurse of my stuff- she died too. lol Um.. Okie. As to the next chapter, it will be Iruka and Naruto, because our loud blonde has to give his take on what happened in that cave too. … also because I neglected Iruka. A lot-ed. O.o

Tons of love and kisses to all you, beautiful people!

Ja!

M.

PS. Absolutelly HATE the new FFnet interface... Hate it with a passion.

**Notes:  
**

(1) Gold General. In _Shogi_ this piece can be moved a square to any side other than diagonally backwards.

(2) Incense Chariot/ Lance. This piece can move any number of squares forward- not backwards, to the sides or diagonally.

(3) Foot Soldier/ Pawn. It can only move 1 square, directly ahead.

(4) Angle mover/ Bishop. Moves diagonally in any direction [same as the Bishop in chess].

(5) Laureled Horse/ Knight. It moves a square forwards and one diagonally- roughly the way the Knight in chess moves, but _only_ ahead.

(6) Silver General. Moves one square diagonally in any direction or one forward. It can't be moved backwards or to the sides.

(7) Royal General/ King(reigning). Can move one square in any direction- same as chess.

(8) Dragon Horse/ Promoted Bishop. It moves as a bishop or as a king, but not as both on the same turn.

(9) Jeweled General/ King(challenging). Same as Royal General.


	31. Tide 15: A House Divided

**A/N:**Hello, mina-san! So I finally made it to Iruka… Woo-hoo for me! Ahem. The theme for Iruka is a bit weird, but I went with it because it felt right for the character and I think that it fits the overall spirit of the chapter… which is back to angsty, really… ::sigh:: I hope you enjoy it anyway. ;-) Thank you all wonderful people who read this Never-ending Story, extra thanks to those of you who took the time to review or just drop me a line. I cannot convey how much your kind words mean to me. I realized that I haven't mentioned this, but also my thanks to those of you that have included me in their favorites and alert lists, whether you left a review or not.

My anon. reviewer. **Kakashi's Dog – **Thank you thank you. I'm glad you liked Gai, he really was a riot to write. :-D Yes, we finally got to Iruka, yes I know I've neglected him, but… but… ::sighs, slumps shoulders:: I hope you enjoy the chapter…

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the manga or anime, but I do own the idea for the story AND- most importantly- the right to go into denial about a lot of things happening in the manga. Peace. ;-D

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 15: _A House Divided_

The word "house" was not a definitive term.

Sure, the first thing that came to anyone's mind would be an actual residence, but that was not all that a house could be. Literally, it described the tangible walls and roof that made up a structure, a place where one found solace or one that some might seek solace _from_. If a house was where the heart was and one sought to return there, it was called _home_. Figuratively, a house included one's important people and was not limited to bonds of blood or matrimony. It was born in the heart and mind of a person and it existed in them, wherever their lives might bring their physical body. That allegorical house, much like a true-life one, might fall or stand depending on what it was made of.

The thought returned his attention to the man beside him that had once been the closest thing he had known to an emotional vagabond. Even _he_ had eventually included at least three special people- his first students- daring to open up again after having failed to hold his previous house together, losing his best friend and then that _one_ girl- one of them dying, the other just never coming back in, through the heart's threshold.

Sometimes a house was made of cards, yielding to the winds of life and fate.

The weight of the arm around his shoulders was comfortable, but the fact that the arm was even there, was nearly absurd. Hatake Kakashi did not _do_ hugging- and especially not in public- yet there he was, keeping him close, as he asked about the Academy, the kids, the Godaime. The Jounin had spent the better part of an hour asking about nothing at all- nothing that was important to a ninja of his position, nor anything that he couldn't find out himself, if he didn't know already.

Umino Iruka frowned at the man beside him, his dark brows forming a delicate v perpendicular to his scar. A frown would very rarely find its way to his features, but this would be one of those _very rare_ occasions. "Kakashi, I don't understand- what do you want with me?" he demanded after having entertained the idle talk long enough; which really was _quite_ a while. "You said you wanted to talk."

The silver-haired Jounin sighed and let go of him, hands slipping into his pockets- a signature move of the man and a sign of either ease or discomfort. It was always hard to tell which was which when it came to Kakashi. "What I have to say is not for prying ears."

His choice of words made the Chuunin nervous. "What are…" he cleared his throat. "What are you talking about?"

Kakashi tilted his head curiously at him. "Your concern for Naruto is well justified." He said, after a moment. "But the _matter_ of concern is probably not what you might expect."

Iruka blinked. "Eh?"

"I hate to bring you into this, Iruka- especially like this- but you are the best chance Naruto has to open up and even get advice." The other man continued seriously.

Confusion was all too plainly written across his features. He was being brought into _what_ exactly? Team 7- team _Kakashi_- had always kept things in the _family_, never quite including outsiders- no matter how close- to their little dramas, even though, eventually, their intricate bonds would always feed the gossip grapevine in Konoha. This was the _first_ time that he had been asked for help on a personal matter, in spite of his close relationship with Naruto, and it sounded like the proverbial Team 7 _house _was divided. Again.

Sometimes a house was made of tangling bonds- an emotional spider's web or a labyrinth of the heart.

His cautiousness echoed clearly in his voice. "Kakashi, what is this about?"

Yet, if Kakashi had heard it, he chose to ignore it. "I'm afraid it's not my place to divulge into details."

"Didn't you just say that you were bringing me _into this_?" he deadpanned.

"Maa, maa… I've promised not to share." The Jounin rubbed the back of his head. "Sasuke has become quite proficient at phrasing himself in matters like that."

Now he was back to being plain confused. "Sasuke made you promise not to tell me what's wrong with Naruto?"

"Yes. And don't let Naruto off the hook until he tells you why." The Jounin said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I have every confidence in you. Ja."

And with that he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Iruka stared at the empty spot for a moment. Without actually saying much of anything, Kakashi had appointed him _dad_. More than that, he had inferred that there was a serious issue with Naruto, whereas he had thought that, at worse, the problem would probably be a virus or food poisoning- the boy never did clean up his refrigerator or check things like expiration dates.

He started down the street, making his way back after the long detour that had been forced upon him and, with a quick stop at Ichiraku's to pick up ramen, he walked to Naruto's apartment. To an extend he felt that Kakashi had unloaded his responsibility on him, but he couldn't say that he minded. He had intended to check in on the blonde and catch up for a while now, though he would have preferred that it was not happening with that foreboding caveat on his mind. Curiosity and worry clutched at his chest at he stood in front of the door.

They were, all of them, scattered pieces of a puzzle that would never be complete. Families would always be torn asunder- that was the reality of a ninja- and the orphans would always seek to create new families, roofing them under a new emotional house- because the heartbreak was too great for one to bear alone. The danger with bonds that one chose to feed and care for was that, if their new home should fall, it would often crush- and trap- their already wounded hearts under the rumbles. It was not too often that someone would find it in them to try again.

Sometimes a house was an excuse to live, when nothing else was left of what had once been held so dear.

A deep breath heaved on his chest that he released slowly, before knocking on the door.

The response came in the sound of footsteps that slowed as they approached the other side of the door. "… Yes?" came Naruto's voice, tainted with a surprising amount of hesitation.

Again, a frown clouded over his eyes. Naruto would always be so careless opening the door- which he had scolded him for more times than he could recall- in part because his house, like his heart, was open to all, but mostly, Iruka suspected, because Uzumaki Naruto would never act on fearful premises.

Sometimes a house was just walls and it was the heart that let everyone in.

"Won't you open up for your old sensei?" he said pleasantly. "I got ramen."

The door flew open at that- because his presence was welcome, because there was ramen involved, because even the smallest apartment can feel huge and empty- to reveal a wide smile. "Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka smiled back, his eyes assessing the blonde. He hadn't lost weight, seemed normal enough, except for the darker hue under those cobalt eyes that betrayed fatigue and restless nights. And still, that wasn't really the symptom of anything other than being a ninja. Maybe Kakashi and everyone had exaggerated things, forgetting that Naruto was naturally gifted with amazing coping skills. He set the ramen on the table casually asking about the blonde's day and his health and getting short answers between breaks for breath as he inhaled the food.

"It's not good for you to gulp down your food like that." He chastised the boy. "You need to learn to eat slower."

"But it's _ramen_!" Naruto fended, as though that was explanation enough.

He was used to that rationale by then, but would always get fatherly around Naruto. He supposed that it was part habit, part because some parts of their pasts were painfully similar, but mostly, because the loud boy had been his choice for reassembling the broken pieces that made a family. Though he would never be conceited enough to claim the position of a father that Naruto had never really even met, he felt confident that the home they had made for themselves all those years ago, still stood strong.

Sometimes a house would defy the passage of time and hardships as long as the foundation was solid, as long as it was cared for- because what was strong, was not always unbreakable.

"Aaaah!" the blonde exclaimed, patting his full stomach contently. "That was a great meal, Iruka-sensei! Thanks!"

Iruka smiled, honestly enjoying the boy's good spirits. Naruto could fake a smile better than anyone he had ever known, but his current agreeable mood was genuine, he could tell. Living under the same emotional roof with someone, one learned how to decipher the slightest nuances in their behavior and poise. Much as he wanted to enjoy the comfy atmosphere, his visit had turned out to be a mission of sorts, as he couldn't just ignore what Kakashi had said.

After a moment, he folded his hands on the table. "I haven't really seen you around lately. Busy with missions?" he said conversationally.

Naruto arched his brows at him curiously, setting his chopsticks by the bowl. "You wouldn't have seen me if I _were_ around- you're so busy at the Academy these days."

True story there. He had barely had enough time to rest. "That doesn't mean I'm not available to you, if you need _anything_." He said seriously. "You know that."

The wide smile seemed a little strained now. "Of course I do, sensei. How are things at the Academy this year?"

Sometimes a house was a school, whose yard embraced new families with each passing day.

"Same as always." He smiled. There was a measure of reassurance, that what he was where he was supposed to be, in the sense of excitement and anticipation that would fill him without fail at the prospects of every year that he spent teaching. "New faces, new brats to tame. You should try it at some point- getting a taste of what it was like dealing with you." he said amused. "Though not _quite_ like you guys. Sakura, Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, you, Sasuke… Each of you is one of a kind."

The last name he placed with meticulous care at the end of his sentence in an attempt to gauge his reaction. Kakashi had mentioned Sasuke for a reason, very knowingly pointing any conversation he'd have with the blonde in that direction. In the case of Uchiha Sasuke, his house was overflowing with ghosts. In fact, it was getting so crammed up with the dead that Iruka had often wondered if the boy had left any space in his heart for the living. He had to believe that he did, because he honestly did care about the raven haired boy.

Sometimes a house was a haunted mansion, brimming with tortured souls- of the living or the dead.

Naruto tensed a little and, for a moment there, it looked like he was going to say something, but then he simply shook his head at whatever thought had crossed his mind. "Want some tea, sensei?"

"What- not taking credit about how _cool_ you guys were? That's not like you, Naruto." The chuunin observed.

As he said that, his fingers absently traced the scar on his face. It was a definite tell of impatience, but not one that many people had picked up on. Tracing the scar would remind him of important things- like the pain of losing someone important and the cost of rush decisions. That the life of any mortal creature was fleeting and in the end all that mattered were the bonds that one created and the people whose lives brushed against his. A mortal can transcend death, when their memory lives on in the hearts and minds of their loved ones.

Iruka's eyes moved to the entrance of Naruto's bedroom, his thoughts railing to the photograph of Team 7 on the boy's dresser. Though so much had changed, the picture had always been there, in that exact same spot in the room, just as the feeling behind it remained in Naruto's heart. He knew- and there was no reason for the boy to confirm it- that that photograph was Naruto's most bosomed possession. It encompassed all that he had hoped and dreamed, all those things that _anyone_ but Uzumaki Naruto would have thought impossible to have, had they been in his shoes.

Sometimes a house was a framed picture that one would hold so dearly to their chest during lonely nights, receiving more warmth from it than most might get from a real person.

The grin that stretched the blonde's cheeks wasn't entirely convincing. "You seem to know already."

"So, there's nothing that's on your mind?" Iruka tested and, really, he was rather rusty in the "fishing expedition" department.

"Nothing important." Naruto replied, though he sounded just a little terse.

Stubborn as always. He supposed that's what puberty, that everyone was complaining, was all about; it would drive any parent up- and back down- the wall. He could always tell when he was going by a teenager's house, by the sheer volume of the arguments- other than the Hyuuga, who were quiet by nature and the Nara that the mom did _all_ the yelling. And yet, for all the lack of arguments, he had yet to come across a Hyuuga who seemed comfortable to just be themselves and unwind and, for all the yelling, he had never come across a Nara that was not honestly content deep inside, however lazy their demeanor.

Sometimes a house would be warm, _in_ _spite_ of fiery tempers or grow cold, _because_ of tepid conduct.

Iruka was not used to beating about the bush for answers- and his usual crowd, kids under the age of 12, didn't really present too much of a challenge- because Naruto had always been very open and honest with him. The boy's current attitude was making him feel like they were speaking different languages and he didn't even have a crayon to draw the proverbial picture for him. He decided on a more direct approach.

"I ran into Kakashi-sensei on my way here." He said idly, watching as apprehension tinted the boy's expression. "He suggested that you may need someone to talk to."

An unfamiliar feeling registered in Naruto's eyes. "Kakashi-sensei did." He repeated, as if tasting the words. "What else did he say?"

"No much, because apparently Sasuke has sworn him to secrecy about what's bothering you." Iruka said honestly.

No reason to beat about the bush, as the blonde had always favored straight talk- being treated like an adult, not a kid. That's why he was more than a little bemused, when the air around Naruto shifted as though he literally clammed up. So _maybe_ he should have listened to Kakashi and waited for all this to come up. The admission resonated in his mind as he mentally joined in the ranks of all those who had fallen short in predicting the number one ninja at surprising people.

After a moment, Naruto picked up the empty ramen cups and threw them in the garbage. "Kakashi-sensei should really learn how to mind his own business and stop dragging people into this kind of stuff."

That rather stung. He had always looked after the loud blonde and, though they had been missing each other due to growing responsibilities- and Naruto was no longer a child- he had never thought for a moment that the boy would hesitate to come to him with a problem. "_People_?" he repeated with a twinge of hurt. "I think Kakashi told me what he did _because_ he thought I was not 'people' to you."

The words registered swiftly on the blonde's mind, bringing forth an expression that easily conveyed shame and regret. "Iruka-sensei… that's not what I meant."

If he were to see himself as a father, the boy would be the kind of son that would effortlessly make him proud. He was strong, determined, honorable and kind. "Maybe I can help with whatever _stuff_ is going on." he offered with a small smile. "Why don't you talk to me?"

Questions were powerful things. To know the answers was to have power over someone or something. And that was why not all answers- the important ones- were meant to be shared, and even when that was the case, not everyone was ready to hear them. That's why, no matter how well one thought they knew another, there would always be secrets between people. That's why, in many cases, relationships did not survive such revelations.

Sometimes a house was founded on the respect that there were questions that one did not wish to answer.

Naruto sat back down on the chair, folding his arms on the table. It appeared that he was considering the offer for a moment, before he buried his head into his arms. "I doubt it…" came the muffled voice.

Iruka ruffled the golden hair, the way he had when Naruto was a kid and, he suspected, the way he would continue to do even when he was Hokage. "Why don't you give it a go, anyway? When faced with a challenge, look for a _way_, not a way _out_."

The boy half-heartedly fought against his ex-teacher's hands. "You are lecturing the wrong guy on this. I'm not the one with the _quite_-important-ego complex."

He chuckled a little. "Do I even have to guess who you are referring to?"

"_One_ guess." Naruto said somewhat dryly.

It was enough to sober him up, easily slipping into his teaching habits. "Before you start pounding your fist on table, you need to ask yourself what was your part in whatever happened. If you have not contributed to the situation, pound away. Bring a hammer." He said simply, using the same tone he did when Naruto was only graduating from the Academy. Advice seemed to always come in that format. "I can tell that whatever happened was maybe a touch frustrating…" he paused at the look that the blonde gave him. "Okay, a _lot_. But don't let your current internal state of affairs bleed out into your dealings. You are better than that." It may have seemed like an awkward thing to say- especially since he had no idea what had happened and this could have just as likely backfired- but he had made his point.

Sometimes a house would fall at the same passions that had once held it together.

With a sigh, the boy leaned back on the chair, slumping into it. He blinked slowly, as though lost in thought, but most likely searching for a place to begin. "Ever had one of those moments that you look back on and wonder how the hell things could suddenly get so wrong?" he said rather absently. "It's not one of those things that you think about and decide 'that will never happen to me', because it's not supposed to even go through your head. And then it's just there." He sighed deeply. "What are you supposed to do with something like that?"

There was something in the blonde's words that spoke in volumes of whatever had happened to someone who already knew, but, as it were, the meaning eluded him entirely. What he _did _know was that youth had a way of magnifying whatever problem may be, always considering what happens to oneself as unique, never-heard-of-or-encountered before. That very rarely was the case.

"Naruto" he started with a sympathetic smile, "we have _all_ done something we had never thought ourselves capable of. That's how you explore who you are and learn from your experiences."

Blue eyes regarded him under a golden frown. "I doubt we are talking about the same thing, sensei."

He was quite sure that there were moments like these between any father and son- moments that the father was sure he knew exactly what his boy was talking about only to be met with doubt and criticism. Naruto used to take his word for things easier before they had become that close. It wasn't so much that respect lessened the more affection grew- things weren't disproportionate that way. The reason why was because, the closer one was to another, the more it became obvious that they were human and, like any human, they didn't have all the answers.

Sometimes a house would be a temple for one to be worshiped as an all-knowing god and doomed to crumble at the simple truth that it had been, in fact, built _by_ a mortal _for_ a mortal.

"Then you'll have to tell me exactly what was _so _unique about what happened that I can't imagine it." The older man said patiently. Patience was the one thing that he had accumulated in abundance, being around kids day in and day out.

"I suppose it's fair game since Teme already told Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said after a moment's thought, his features set. "Sasuke kissed me."

So maybe he hadn't heard _everything_ yet and Naruto still defended his title in the surprise department with disturbing ease. His only response was the very eloquent, "Eh?".

"I kissed him back." He added, probably solidifying his grasp at the aforementioned title for years to come. Decades, probably.

The confession had been blurted out as fact, yet somehow detached, bereft of the full gravity of what it meant. Iruka looked at the boy who looked back at him with that unyielding gaze. It was like a voice in a dream, saying the most absurd things in a tempered tone as though they were natural and everyday occurrences. He tried not to outright gawk at the boy, but he could do very little to keep his eyes from widening. If Naruto noticed, it didn't seem to affect him.

"Naruto…" he paused for a moment, searching those blue eyes for a trace of the emotion behind the words. "When… _how_ did this happen?"

Nothing changed in the blonde's tone or stare. "Sasuke transported us to an underground cave during a sparring session. We argued and stuff and then he kissed me." He said simply. "I kissed him back."

Iruka wanted to wave his hand in front of the blonde's eyes, hoping that it would snap him out of whatever trance he was in. It took a second look to realize that he wasn't in a trance, but rather walking a tightrope, fists balling at his sides, as if clutching on to an invisible pole that helped him keep some semblance of balance. He walked his ex-teacher through the events, curtly as possible, like it was mere facts that didn't mean anything.

Sometimes a house was a circus, where some wore the worn out smile of a clown while others somersaulted over mental nets and ropes at impossible heights.

The older man's features softened. "How do you feel?"

The question made those sharp blue eyes snap to him, surprised. "What?"

"How do you feel?" he repeated with a small smile, wondering what kind of reaction Naruto had expected of him. Had it been shock? Disgust?

It dawned upon him that perhaps this was, in part, what the boy was feeling for himself. He had to have been shocked at what happened. Was he disgusted? For all intends and purposes Naruto had just told him that he had been kissed. By a boy. Again. By the _same_ boy. That was enough to boggle the mind.

"I don't know…" he said. "I haven't really thought about that." That was a very Naruto thing to say. The boy regarded him with a guarded look of disbelief and apprehension, so foreign on his features. "Wait- you are not weirded out? _Grossed _out?"

Iruka's brows arched in surprise, then he smiled reassuringly again. "I'll admit I'm taken aback." He confessed. "I knew that you and Sasuke were getting closer, but…." His voice trailed off at the boy's morose expression. "Are _you_ weirded out or grossed out?" he asked a little uncertainly.

Naruto's eyes widened, then he blinked. "… No." he said quietly and frowned to himself. "I should be though, shouldn't I?"

"_Should_ has never really been your word of choice." The chuunin said. He supposed this would all have had a stronger impact on him if he hadn't had that sense of unreality about the whole situation. "What has Sasuke said about all this?"

Sometimes a house is a specter in the distance, the cruel promise of an oasis in the desert of existence, that one can never be quite certain if it's real or not.

"Nothing."

The reply had been a single-syllable word, but it shocked him more than any of the previous disclosures. "Nothing?"

There was a measurable pause, before Naruto decided to answer that one. "I haven't spoken to him since it happened."

He had seen it before and it had never ended well- two people sharing something special and letting slip through their fingers. To him, that was unthinkable. Yes, he knew that getting worked up about this wasn't going to solve anything, so he tried to keep his tone even and chatty as before. "Which was when?"

"About a week ago." Naruto said after a moment's thought. "Yamato-taicho and Baa-chan have been on my case about going back to my Kyuubi training, so I called in sick. I need time."

Kyuubi training? He really was out of the loop and he truly had to restrain himself from going on a tangent about how irresponsible it was to involve two powerful ninjas in demon taming. It was all he could do to try and piece together what had been going on through Naruto's words. Whatever the Hokage and whoever else involved had decided about the Fox demon, right now, the boy's emotional state took priority. "Naruto-"

"Oh wait." the blonde interrupted with a bit of an edge to his voice. "There was this _one_ thing that he said after…" his voice trailed off and his cheeks were tinted red in a wild mix of embarrassment and resentment. "After." He repeated, deciding that the word was definition enough. "He said he did to shut me up."

Iruka's lips thinned. It wasn't just embarrassment; there was shame and a rather significant amount of humiliation involved in the reckoning. He was protective towards Naruto and this situation was just stroking all the wrong chord in him. "Sasuke has never really been good at dealing with emotions."

His jaw set. "The only thing that Sasuke really ever felt strongly about was his revenge."

Anger was a dangerous companion that would only render for bad decisions. Naruto had always acted on impulse and emotion and, even as in the past they had served him well through improbable scenarios, both were, presently, particularly volatile. "You don't mean that."

After a moment, Naruto conceded wearily with a nod. "No. I don't mean that."

"You need to talk to him, Naruto." He said slowly, in a quiet voice, wondering if anything louder might send the boy on a tailspin. "This is not one of those things that you can run away from."

"Talk about what? We are both _guys_ and I don't think he planned doing it any more than I had planned on… responding." The last word came out hushed, like a secret that he was keeping even from himself. "But now it's there and that _changes_ things."

Change was a frightful thing. Even as one of the first cruel lessons a ninja had to learn was that everything passed and nothing stayed, most of them had this innate need for at least one thing that would serve as their pivot in an otherwise tempestuous life."Why?"

"Because…" he almost choked on the word, but then he cleared his throat and started again. "Because it wasn't so bad…"

Just when things were starting to look up, that other shoe finally dropped. And it's one that had a big-ass heel on it. Iruka had never thought that the human skin was capable of this shade of red. "So… you liked it?"

"I didn't say _anything_ about _like_, sensei!" he exploded to full blast mortification. "Don't go saying weird stuff like that!"

"Well… would you want him to kiss you again?" he asked- and wasn't that the weirdest question he had not even imagined himself asking.

"Sensei!" Naruto's voice was an almost horrified shriek and he looked like he might have just popped a vein, had Iruka persisted.

The chuunin wanted to smile, but instead he faced Naruto very seriously. Last thing the poor boy needed was to feel that his guardian was poking fun at his confusion. "Irregardless of what happened, Sasuke is a very important part of your life, right?"

Naruto merely nodded at that. There were years and years of his life, given to Sasuke that would attest to his answer.

But that had little to do with anything presently. The blonde had been treated unfairly, and he had just about had it. He was not in the mood to forgive or forget- and he was willing to bet that Sasuke had been made plenty aware of that less than sunny disposition- but pouting or getting even at a later date were just not going to work. It was also plenty obvious that he wasn't in the mood for anyone who even hinted at disagreeing with him- he had that "I know I'm right and there will be no concessions made. Period." Kind of attitude. Well, that just didn't fly in real life and real relationships.

Sometimes a house would fall to anger and there would always be tears of regret staining the scraps.

That was why Iruka could not indulge his favored charge. This was too important. _Sasuke_ was too important to Naruto and no amount of anger would change that. "I'm not sure what's going to happen if you _do_ talk to him, but nothing good will come of it, if you don't."

"I'm mad at him, sensei." The blonde acknowledged then. "Is that so wrong? Seriously, after everything…"

His expression softened. _After everything_… Those words held so much history and meaning behind them. Life had failed at breaking them- that was the one thing that they could only do themselves to their bond. "You can be mad at him, but you still have to talk to him."

Naruto shook his head vehemently. "It's still too soon."

Perhaps a different approach was in order. "To my understanding, Sasuke's hearing is coming up in a few days." He reminded the boy sitting across the table and looking anywhere but him at the reference. It had been Naruto's goal to reinstate the raven, ever since his return. _Before_ his return had even seemed _possible_ to most, actually. "It won't look good if you are not there."

"Everyone else will be there." Naruto replied stubbornly. "The Teme will be just fine. He always is."

"Maybe." The older man agreed, then sighed. "Making sense of what's been going on lately may not be possible right now, Naruto- not entirely- but you certainly _can_ begin to put the pieces together, if you assemble them carefully. In the meantime, you'll need to ignore everything but what your gut tells you. That includes your pride."

Naruto watched him quietly. This was not what he wanted to hear- mostly because it was true, partly because it didn't adhere to his emotional impulses. People would always want to feel that their anger is righteous, that they deserve some form of vindication for whatever had happened to them. Naruto didn't want to punish the Uchiha, he just couldn't quite figure out what to do- and the other boy's emotionally estranged nature had really complicated things. But Iruka knew, beyond the shadow of any doubt that that the blonde was more hurt and at a loss than he was angry, knew that this distance between him and Sasuke cost him dearly, even if he'd die before he admitted to that there and then- even to his father figure.

"It really all comes down to a single question." He said, having allowed sufficient time for his previous words to sink in, and locked eyes with Naruto. "Can you imagine your life without Sasuke?"

It was more than obvious that the thought had not even occurred to the boy- the prospect of any sort of future that did not include Sasuke. The startled expression on Naruto's face was all the answer he needed. Naruto had felt comfortable holding on to his hurt emotions and his anger for the same reason that people never wondered how come they could fly in a dream- because there's no other kind of reality, no place where things were different, no other way to piece together the puzzle.

That was perhaps overwhelming for the boy to digest all at once, so, instead of pursuing the matter he took Naruto's hand in his and squeezed. "I think I'll have some tea, after all."

Naruto's cobalt eyes rested on their hands for a long moment, before he squeezed back and let go. For someone like Iruka- who loved the boy like a son that he might never have, who couldn't fathom what his adopted son was feeling or if their emotional house was enough to shelter those feelings- the parting had left him with a sense of anxiety and helplessness that did not yield to reason. Because he couldn't promise that things would be alright- not in something like this- and recognized that, without Sasuke, Naruto would never quite be complete.

"Aah." The blonde said and made his way to the cabinet and retrieved the tea. "Let's talk about the weather next."

Iruka smiled at him, but that smile easily fled him once the boy had his back to him. Even though the kitchen was small and he was just a few feet away, it somehow seemed farther than that, with all those things that Naruto wouldn't say or admit that he feared stretching between them.

Sometimes a house would sprout from one's very essence and reason for existing, much like a silkworm weaving her house with love from her marrow- and dying in her body's threads winding tight, round and round.

There were many kinds of houses, a lot more than would ever been found in the most detailed architectural scrolls. There were houses for celebration and others enfolding the darkest secrets. They arose from trials or mere circumstance, survived in stories that would be passed down in generations as examples to mimic or avoid, as masterpieces or abominations and horrors. No matter what the reason had been that they had come into existence, no matter how strong the emotion that had made them tangible as anything physical, there was one thing that would forever remain true for all of them- a frightfully accurate prediction.

A house divided would always fall.

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So that was Iruka's and Naruto's chapter. … Yes, the angsty Muse is back with a vengeance- of Sasuke's caliber, imagine that, lol- and probably went all out to punish me for the Gai chapter. T.T ::waves fists of righteous anger:: Still I didn't think that Naruto would be coping too well with all this- because Sasuke was an $$hole and because, realistically, it would be a rather hard pill to swallow. ;-) I hope you liked the theme… it came out of nowhere. Lol

Next chapter will be… … I'm not entirely sure really. Probably Tenten… I don't know… I swear I had made some sort of notes… :-P Anyway. I hope you liked. :-D

Kisses to all!

Ja!

M.


	32. Tide 16: Frog in the Well

**A/N:**Hey, mina-san! Long time no write, but I have a good reason for it. A few of them actually. Most of my reviewers already know that my laptop fell victim to my complete and utter lack of grace- aka it was attacked by the freaky Lipton Black Tea… okay, so I knocked it on my keyboard and it fried my motherboard. I'm talking the keyboard going all possessed _Exorcist_ like, writing from right to left. O.o … Then I got the freakin Antivirus 360 trojan on my NEW laptop! If any of you get it, you can pm me and I'll be happy to tell you what to do. … And now I'm sick as a dog… Kid you not, this is the most sick I've been in years- which made a day's worth of editing drag $$ for a week. I hope it all makes sense…

Ahem… back to the normal stream of my chapters. Thank you all, wonderful people, who read my story and have been patient with my updates[I swear, it's a good thing I'm keeping notes about what I intend to do..], extra thanks and smooches to all of you who take the time to review or pm me with your thoughts…

My anon. readers: **Kakashi's Dog** – Thank you so much. ^.^ I'm really happy you enjoyed the chapter. Now remember that as you're rolling up your sleeves to beat me for being late with this one. Lol muahs! **UchihaUzumakifest** – Thank you, thank you! Will be writing some 5 more chapters. :-D** Huntingafterhours –** Hopefully you have caught up so you can read my thanks here. Thank you for the great complements and the credit. I'm not sure that I deserve it, but I honestly thank you for the boost. You really put a silly smile on my face. I hope you enjoyed the chapters up to here and from here on. It was my idea and hope that I could write a story that involved shonen-ai without breaking from character… as much as possible… when one of you guys says I have done it, omg it makes my day… my week… my month! Thank you. ^.^

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the manga or anime, but I do own the idea for the story AND- most importantly- the right to go into denial- lalalalala, lol- about a lot of things happening in the manga. Peace. ;-D

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 16: _Frog in the Well_

There were few things as niggling on a hot summer day as the feeling of clothes clinging on sweaty skin. Whatever people may have often thought of her- because of her innate bravado, her sometimes impetuous speech, but mostly the sheer amount of lethal weapons she could conjure up on demand- she was no different than any other girl when it came to feeling dirty and reeking of whatever- sweat, blood… and sometimes more vile things depending through what she'd have to crawl. It didn't bother her too much that she was seen as a tomboy and treated like one-of-the-guys- so much so that she'd sometimes forget herself that she wasn't.

After all, life was not so much about conjectures or even detached observation.

Much as philosophy and meditation would suggest otherwise, the truth was that the average person could not see past what they were capable of seeing. Their aptitude for sight- or lack thereof- had little to do with the sharpness of their vision, but was rather determined by the boarders of one's mind; some were open, others would forever asphyxiate their unaware inhabitants in a tiny space. People could have the eyes of a hawk and still be entirely blind.

True sight- insight, one's vantage point, their ability for a broader perspective- had to do strictly with their place in the mental map of the world. The higher one stood, the better the view. The funny- tragic- thing was that people who gazed at the world from the bottom of a well would claim as much knowledge and authority as those who might stand at the highest mountain tops. Very few would ever even see one another, share the same highs or lows in their perception- such was the reality of existence. That's why, in the end, life was a very lonely journey. Thankfully, most would never realize it.

Tenten's thoughts were interrupted by the lethal gash of wind as a kunai shot past her, mere inches from her head. It had been done on purpose and, had he really meant to get her, she would be dead. It was _because_ that little demonstration in accuracy had been made in order to make a _point_ that the gears in her head turned in an entirely different direction than her alarmed , she looked up, quite surprised, but mostly pissed off.

"Don't look at me like that." The recipient of her glare stated calmly, but no less firmly. "You can't afford to daydream during combat."

She pouted- just because she could, just because he had always found it endearing that someone as deadly as she was could act so childish. "But, Neji!"

That was all. _But Neji_, was the full extent of her argument to his reprimanding. Not for nothing, he was right. It hadn't always been so- she could still distinctly remember a time when her side of the argument would merit some thought- and she would sometimes almost miss that. Almost, because she couldn't help but think he was just _dreamy_ like that. Tenten had never seen herself as anyone's fangirl- including the Uchiha, however edible he had always looked- and she would still maintain that attitude. It's just that calling Neji dreamy and such would produce the funniest reactions from him, including blushing and squealing at her to stop. Yes, the Hyuuga really _was_ capable of squealing, as she was delighted to discover, and it gave her a sense of security that, even if people were capable of change, they were not capable of perfection.

In the case of Hyuuga Neji, the matter of his sight evolving had been a very unique- and quite heroic- tale. His strange eyes could see through walls, across distances and past whatever may hinder one's view and, yet, he had spent most of his life blind. It was only in the last few years that he had really opened his eyes and climbed out of the dark pit that had once defined his view of the world. His vision changed, his fighting style changed- she was still catching up with the changes. Even the fact that he was _changing_ was a change in itself.

"You are not a child anymore." He admonished.

There was truth to that. Tenten was medium to close range fighter that could give any of those all-seeing Hyuugas a run for it. What was true about her fighting style was twice as accurate about her sight. She never planned ahead, never made graphs for the future other than survive the coming day. Of all people, it had been _Neji _that had accused her of a bleak outlook- the nerve of that guy. Maybe she could, but she had never wanted to. For all the dreams and possible futures that a mortal may be promised by Kami and the sages, in the end nothing would ever matter more than the here and now. Not to her. She would never be one of those people who wasted their days away wishing to be somewhere other than _here_, sometime other than _now_, where that wonderful thing they wish for might be.

"You are _never _a child." She panned back with a smile.

"I've never _been_ a child." Neji replied easily.

Too easily- and it pissed her off. She whacked the back of his head. "Don't be such a freakin' grouch." She wagged a finger at his surprised face. "You can be one when you are old. It's unbecoming to be this young and bitter."

"Then maybe you should have someone like Lee by your side." He said, with a twinge of annoyance that she knew he didn't really feel.

Both of them enjoyed the back and forth of their arguments as much any sparring session. They would always be deadpan waiting for the other to back off. Apparently, their mentor's competitive nature had rubbed off on them in an odd way too. Their mentor was a weird bird. He didn't care about preaching to the world and, what he had to say, he would have said anyway, whether the person he addressed would listen or not. Maito Gai had never looked for an eager audience, never proclaimed to know more than the power of working on what one wants to achieve, had never tried to change anyone. Tenten would often wonder if he even belonged in this world- because there weren't many ways for someone to survive with her sensei's outlook, yet somehow the man would always prevail.

A smirk settled on her lips. "Sakura actually beat me to him." She said with a sigh. "And Kiba decided to finally get bold with Hinata too…"

"Kiba." He repeated with obvious disbelief and some distaste.

Part of his reaction was that he couldn't understand the Dog Boy. And there was also the _small_ matter of Kiba dating Hinata, whom Neji had come to love and watch over like a young sister- an innocent, _kid_ sister that had no business _dating_ yet; nevermind that Neji himself was just a year older than the girl. That was why the idea of someone _touching _her gave rise to a severely aggressive protective mode. And if that weren't bad enough, though he had the utmost respect for Kiba's skills, he couldn't understand his MO. Neji acted on reason, whereas Kiba's main propeller was instinct. Few people in Konoha were as refined and delicate as the Hyuuga boy and no one was quite like Kiba, even among his clan. She had found that intellect was not an element of insight, though it could greatly facilitate it. There were people whose instincts had become so perfectly honed that reason would take a backseat no matter what facts would say. Such people had it hard because there were no adequate terms- and not enough validity placed on what might defy reason- to convey their sense of a situation. And yet, Neji was just now climbing towards the open space that the Inuzuka boy had always stood.

Therefore her response to him was earnest, even as she wasn't actually interested in him. "Yes. He's fun and a very gifted ninja." She said. "Remember his performance at Ino's party?"

"Not really, I'm afraid." he admitted, with some embarrassment, then arched a brow. "Though rumor had it that you like the quiet types…"

She laughed. "Don't believe everything you hear."

The sound of her laughter had the most uncanny effect on him, always spicing up his mood just a little bit. "Oh, no?"

A smile lingered on her lips as she watched him step up closer to her- hopefully with less-than-entirely-wholesome intents. "All the good ones are taken and everyone left is a-"

"-, Dobe!"

That was enough to interrupt their verbal sparring session. Most people would seek the forest for privacy, but truth was that, at the rate that it was being used as a training ground, there were about as many people in it- at least in Konoha's premises- as they were back in the village. The typical, first- and silly- instinctive reaction was to act all casual around third parties, taking the necessary _friendly _distance and usually changing the subject to Neji- once again- imparting his _wisdom _about fighting strategies. It was, by that time, an overly rehearsed improv production, that everyone could see through- though she would not tell Neji that, as he was feeling quite confident about their "cover". Oh how far the mighty fall when it comes to things they are simply _too_ sure of. It was all entirely lost on the two ninjas that emerged out of the forest though, as neither of them seemed to be paying enough attention to their surroundings and therefore had not even seen them.

That wasn't quite that odd, because even the sharpest sight and senses could be easily dulled by emotion. Experience, intellect and even instinct were not quite formidable enough to overpower raw emotion, rendering powerful men helpless as newborn babies and just as dependent for dear life on the object of their affection. It was terrifying to her, with her very average sight- for how could she hope to win where her betters had failed.

"I don't feel like talking, Sasuke." Naruto said stubbornly. "Just because _you_ decided it's time for something, doesn't mean that _I_ agree or have to go along."

It didn't really surprise her to see them together. Or arguing. That was as much of a _Konoha classic_ as the freaking Hokage monument. The two boys were prime examples of how emotion could blind to or drive someone well beyond the reaches of reason. Uchiha Sasuke had once lost sight to everything that mattered- anything that he had managed to save of himself from the cinders of his tragic past, everything that that he had managed to get back, his very life- for revenge. Naruto had only been able to see Sasuke, chase after his ghost until he had brought him back. Both of them had only been able to see what little their desire would allow them. The Uchiha couldn't see that he had a home and a family- not one that could replace what he had lost, but a new one, a chance to start over- in Konoha, just as Naruto couldn't see past his need for that _one_ person, even as he was surrounded by so many loving people in his life- no one quite cut it to replace _his_ _Sasuke_. It would irk Neji to no end, because his distrust towards the Uchiha heir had not been a secret that he had tried to keep, but Tenten herself had found it had to try and understand or judge a bond like that.

Right then it seemed that, once again, their vision was failing them for another reason.

The Uchiha was tense- not that he was ever relaxed, mind you, carrying himself with an air of royalty- like he was _better_- that the blonde boy had always seemed immune to. Maybe that was because Naruto had been the only person that he recognized as an equal- or somewhere high up there- and it had been years since he had marginalized the blonde's power, even if he hadn't quite understood or accepted it.

"_You_ don't have to talk." Sasuke said, blatantly frustrated, so much different than the composed, arrogant prick she had always perceived him to be. "Just _listen_."

More often than not and very much as in literal visual hindrances, people were unable to see past the emotional walls and the masks that other had create to keep everyone out. There was always a crack, but most never care to search for it, unless it was obvious enough. Nothing was perfect in this world and anything touched by the mortal heart was so much less so.

The remark made the other boy stop in his tracks and turn to face the raven with a challenging look that rather fell on the unfriendly side of the fence. "Make me." Naruto almost spat the words.

The Uchiha seemed uncharacteristically indecisive. Anyone, who knew of those two, would assume that the dark boy would have picked up the proverbial gauntlet- and quite frankly, Naruto was not eloquent enough to beat him in this challenge. Yet the raven stood there, staring at his best friend silent and edgy. That honestly did surprise her for the additional reason, that he had always struck her as the abnormally competitive type- which history rather confirmed- that could go no-pity bats on people who had the nerve to test him and could certainly wipe out an entire offending species, if he so choose. She had to wonder if it was possible for Neji to have a poorer opinion of the Uchiha's temper than her, but doubted it. Her boyfriend was simply _biased_.

"_Make_ me." The blonde reiterated, this time rather venomously. "What's the matter, Sasuke? Not feeling quite so _daring_ anymore?"

Okay, now Naruto hadn't gone past just throwing down the gauntlet- he had verbally picked it up again and proceeded to effectively slap Sasuke across the face with it. Neji made a move to walk over to them, unquestioningly choosing sides, but Tenten halted him, placing a hand on his chest. There was more to this than met the eye, whatever it was. Having always had that middling vantage point- not the bird eye's view or even a figurative high plateau- about things and events in life, she had gotten used to accepting that there were things that she could not see.

She would have been curious how that strange- even by Naruto's and Sasuke's standards- interaction was going to play out, but suddenly two ANBU landed between the boys. Naruto took a step back in part surprised and, also, almost physically letting go of the previous moment.

The ANBU were a freaky lot that she had to admire for their unwavering commitment, their service to Konoha and, in extend, to the Fire Country, but above all for the absolute stealth and grace that exemplified them, in spite of the set of scales their job description would set over their eyes. They were unquestioning, ruthless and, if need be, coldblooded and frightening, putting the success of the mission above all, following the shortest path between point A to point B, whatever the loss. They would not look past their orders, their loyalty defining their very narrow field of vision. Within the mission parameters they were perfectly aware of every single detail, but missions were more about death than they were about life those days and it was _life_ that one had to face. Death was easy- one didn't have to do anything.

"Hatake-sama wants to see you, Uchiha-san." A male ANBU with a canine mask announced in a deep voice.

Sasuke had ignored them until them, but had to look away from Naruto at that to meet the man's hidden eyes. "Can it wait?" he asked dully.

The other ANBU sighed and it echoed almost artificial. It had something to do with bird masks and how there was too much space behind the molded beak. They looked kind of funny too, even though any ANBU donning that mask would specify that it's a bird of prey, dangerous as any of the canine or feline equivalents. Ri-ight. Self-respect was important, after all. "It wasn't a suggestion." The other ANBU said, with all the excitement of a dead crab. "Seriously, I hope you do well in your hearing, I'm getting tired of this…"

The Uchiha smirked in that very attractive way that he always did- and Tenten easily remembered why he had all those fangirls. The dark boy had everything going for him in Konoha, but none of that was enough to keep him, though some of them- Tenten's eyes moved to Naruto who stood still, watching the interaction- were enough to _bring _him back. She supposed that every person had their own personal quest that no other could really hope to understand. At least not if the quest is something extraordinary. Some were fortunate enough to have companions in their search for that higher ground or that deep, dark pit. Sasuke had never given Naruto that option- and maybe just as well, because even now, she wasn't sure that the blonde would not have followed his best friend into that lunacy. What she could not decide though was whether the Uchiha had done so out of pure, self-destructive pride, or if somewhere deep inside of him, he had resolved to not put Naruto, or anyone in his team, through everything he had to do and become in order to kill his brother. She was pretty sure it was pride, though.

The smirk left his lips as his charcoal eyes slipping back to Naruto, his voice carrying over with a twinge of sullenness. "I don't suppose you'd consider going with me."

"No." came the immediate, terse reply.

The speed and definitiveness of the blonde's answer seemed to aggravate him all over again. And, if she didn't know better, she'd say there was something in those dark eyes that betrayed hurt. "Am I supposed to chase after you, Dobe?" the Uchiha asked resignedly.

This time Naruto smirked and it felt bitter and painful to even look at. "You _are_ the master of irony."

Sasuke stared back at him a moment longer. It wasn't one of those moments that stretch in expectation for another to change their mind or rephrase themselves in a way that wasn't quite that sharp and hurtful, but rather one that its every second was filled with regret for everything that lead to this. Tenten had to look down because it was tangible and, for the first time she felt like she was intruding on something. The moment ended though and the Uchiha turned and jumped back into the forest, in the general direction of Konoha. The two ANBU following him swiftly, even as the one wearing the bird mask trailed a line of obscenities after them about the Uchihas in general, Sasuke in particular, but mostly his "whoring luck" that always landed him in such tasks.

It would have been funny, if what they had left in their wake was not a very dejected Naruto. The blonde ninja waited a moment before he breathed out, his shoulder slumping noticeably. He sighed and, looking up, his eyes widened quite a bit noticing the two by-standers.

The crickets chirped. It was _that _awkward. Tenten had really hoped that they could have gone unnoticed. Comically enough, she couldn't bring herself to move right away, in hopes that maybe she could still magically meld into the background and not have to deal with this. She couldn't see past the hazy interaction, but she could make out enough to know that Sasuke was probably the only person who could make this right- and getting things right again was probably the one thing that could really comfort the blonde boy.

"Um… Hey, guys…" Naruto started after a moment, scratching his head nervously.

Neji took a couple of bold steps towards him. "Is everything okay, Naruto?"

"What…? Uh… you're talking about the stuff with Teme?" He cleared his throat, then forced an uneasy laugh. "Aha-hah, sorry about that. We always fight."

"That didn't seem like your average fight." Neji noted.

Tenten released a grunt. Maybe she couldn't see past the haze, but her boyfriend was so thickheaded and had chosen the wrong moment to be observant. No sense of tact at all. "It's okay, Naruto. We all know how you two fight and get pissy, but it's all good in the end, ne?"

The blonde boy frowned at that. "I guess so…"

"But even if you don't, I'm sure it's not your fault." Neji added, getting a glare from his girlfriend and a surprised look from Naruto in response.

Neji was brilliant and everything, unless it came to taking a hint. "Just as long as you remember that things _do_ work out for those who don't just give up in the face of adversity." She said, glaring daggers at the Hyuuga.

"You also need to know when to stop beating the dead horse." He retorted.

Seriously, was he doing that on purpose? They had already had this discussion about fate and how there are things one can't change, but giving up beforehand was not the way to go about life. "There _is_ no dead horse when it comes to people who matter." She shot back.

This time he frowned at her. "That is a fantasy that begs manipulation." Neji insisted rather bothered.

"Bonds are not fantasies." Tenten was almost in his face. It vexed her to no end, how much of a cynic he could be in words, when his actions might speak of almost blind leaps of faith. "And some things are _worth_ the risk of getting hurt."

"Uh, guys…" Naruto spoke up, looking uncertainly from one to the other. "Um… thanks about the advice and everything, but I have to go. I promised Iruka I'd meet him for lunch." He blinked at the two surprised faces, who seemed like they had just remembered that he was even there, then rolled his eyes and smiled a little tiredly. "So… Ja."

A few moments went by that all there was was the sound of crickets chirping- again- as both stared at the spot where Naruto had been standing. Then Neji crossed his arms and regarded her in that very Hyuuga way. It wasn't outright holier-than-thou, but there was a certain unmistakable je ne sais quois about his poise that screamed _"I told you so"_. It wasn't even that he had _told_ her something in particular. It was just that kind of _sense_ about him.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me like that." She reiterated his line.

He was not prepared to let this go it seemed. So much for his proclamations about beating dead horses. If it were up to Neji he wouldn't stick to just beating. Her boyfriend had issues. "Couldn't you just follow my lead?"

"This wasn't a mission." She reminded him, trying not to roll her eyes again, lest they roll out of their sockets one of these days.

Neji had to persist, though. If the stories that they had heard, about the undead and ghosts, were real, the dead horse's spirit would be about to rise and return the beating. "_Or_ you could have let me handle it."

Tenten arched a brow at that. "Since when are _you_ a relationship expert?"

He sighed, the way he did when he considered something more than obvious, but still other people failed to grasp it. "When have you known Naruto to benefit from this particular relationship?"

"You are not the one to judge that, Neji." She said, ignoring her impulse to show him all the ways that she did _not_ appreciate being patronized. "Sasuke is very important to Naruto. He'll decide when something is quite enough."

"Naruto is my friend." He made it a statement. Like that was reason enough in itself.

In some ways it was, because ever since Neji had his epiphany he had been compensating for his previous behavior. Perhaps _over_compensating, when he was getting this protective. It was to be expected though. Hyuuga Neji had grown up in darkness and the few years that he had been making his way into the light could not help him to simply unlearn his tendencies to see things as absolutes. He was a genius, but his progress had required baby steps. Even as people might often find themselves in better predicaments, with broader mindsets and horizons than where they used to be, they would search for some familiar way to navigate through life and that would always bring back learned behaviors- until the person learned something new.

It was because Tenten could appreciate that her tone softened a little bit. "And it's because he _is_ your friend and you _owe _him, that you need to be more supportive."

Neji recognized the change in tone and he, grumpily, conceded to a less argumentative mode. "There comes a time when you need to protect your own from themselves."

Tenten smiled at him. "And there comes a time that you need to trust _more_ in your friends." She said and winked at him, before her eyes moved to the forest were the two boys had disappeared. "Neither Naruto nor Sasuke are kids. Stop acting like you're that much older and wiser."

Yes, that last part rather annoyed him as evidenced by his scowl. One reason might be because deep- _deep_- inside he knew that she had a point. However she did not fool herself. For the most part it was the fact that the Hyuuga was a sore looser when it came to admitting defeat in a verbal argument. It made no sense to him, because he had been sure that he had an airtight case, as far as he could see. And what he could see was going pretty far and would have gone further if his views on that had not been tainted by personal loyalties and bias. Neji could not pardon Sasuke's past sins. He was fast to assign the _mea culpa_ and very stingy on the _te absolve_ department[1].

She batted her eyes coyly at him. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book, but such demure acts always seemed to work on him- maybe because they came so rarely with her. "Maybe you would have been better off with a more _reasonable_ girl than me."

Neji wanted to smile, she could tell, but he had never been one to give in very easily- part of the austere image, she supposed. "You're as reasonable as they get in Konoha." He grumbled. "And Suna, rumor has it."

"This one, I'll believe." She laughed, mentally perusing the list of kunoichi, and took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his. "I guess you're screwed then."

"Language." He warned with a distasteful frown.

The warning wasn't part of their sparring. He was dead serious about her being a _lady_ and- unintentionally, as it were- it made her laugh harder. He gave up with a sigh, because as far as he could see, his girlfriend was not accustomed to being the _girl_ part. She supposed that she wasn't quite as consistently _demure_ as he might have preferred, but he'd have to learn to love her in spite of that- and maybe, someday, _because_ of that too. Maybe, one day she'd be able to see far enough that will finally see him in the distance and understand all the many ways that made him so complex. And maybe he'd be quite as perceptive and understanding of those who were not nearly as pristine as him.

Tenten pulled him along as she started walking again. "Come on."

There was no reason to look over her shoulder to confirm that he was smiling. There were things that one didn't have to see to know they were there. And there were things that people would never see even though they were right before their eyes. The principles of sight had been passed on to her in one simple sentence that her grandfather had imparted as he was showing her how to sharpen her first kunai.

The frog in a well cannot fathom the vastness of the sea.

Though resistance was futile and, knowing that, he just followed quite complacently, he did ask, "Where are we going?"

"I've found a cliff with a great view of the waterfalls- you'll love it." She said, then turned away, before he could see her blush. "It's quite private."

In spite of the broadness of their perspective, most everyone would stare at the world from the bottom of their own well. Some ended up there because of tragedy or circumstance, others would build the well with their own two hands. It could be high or low. It was always lonely.

Maybe one day, just as she was now holding his warm hand, she would be able to hold his gaze. Maybe on that day, they would have managed to cross the lonely distance. She doubted they could ever hope to know the vastness of the sea, but if she could choose, Neji would be the man for whom she'd climb out of the seclusion of her well and hope to find him waiting there.

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Okay, so maybe I gave it a sappy ending but it's New Year's day- for most- or eve and I feel a bit generous. We all know she's tough, anyway. hehe And that is the Tenten chapter. I hope you guys liked my take on her… there's so little to go on with regards to her- no background family history or even a last name, what the hell… Anyway. From now we're getting to the final chapters of the story- as in last 5. Next one will be Shizune and some of you may guess what that is about since I've been throwing hints for the last couple of chapter. :-D … For those who didn't, it will be Sasuke's hearing. Like I said, I feel generous… AND I'm not even sure my "clues" were properly proposed, so anyway…

Tons of love to you all. I hope you had a Merry, merry Christmas and that you have a Happy New Year.

Ja, lovies!

M.

[1] Most of you already know more than likely, but jic. The two latin terms refer to the proceedings of a confession. "Mea culpa"[= my fault] is the admission that a transgression/ sin has been committed. After the penance has been decided, the "sinner" asks for forgiveness that is given with "te absolve" [= I forgive you]. Both phrases are mostly anecdotal at this point and often stand for the nouns [sin, absolution].


	33. Tide 17: Mise en scène

**A/N: **Hello, mina-san! I hope the new year has found you all in good spirits and healthy. Me, I had a bad case of bronchitis… yes, I've whined about it to ALL my friends and family, now it's your turn! Lol Seriously, tho, I want to thank you guys who reviewed and pmed me… your kind words helped me pull through all the coughing and sneezing. ;-) I mean it- thank you thank you thank you. ^.^ Many thanks to everyone who's reading the story. I hope you are all enjoying it. Hard to believe this has been going on for over a year, huh? Muchos smoochies to **TheCityTurnsOrange** for, well, everything, but also unintentionally and unknowingly inspiring the theme for this chapter and **TWNJ **for her extensive notes on my tangents and consistency. Hahaha ^.^

My anon readers…er. Lol **Kakashi's Dog** – Yes I updated! And YES I'm updating again! Happy you liked Tenten… and her interaction with Neji "ass" well. LOL Hope you like this chappie! :-D

Note: The title of the chapters means "the arrangement of scenery and properties to represent the place where a play is enacted". Stemming from the theater, the French term _mise en scène_ literally means "putting on stage" and also includes the positioning and movement of actors on the set.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing… I know nothing… the Buddhist monks are proud of me. ;-)

**Tides and Ebbs of Honesty**

Tide 17: _Mise-en-scène_

A shiver run down her spine, then made its way up again.

It wasn't that she couldn't deal with tension. Having been around Tsunade all these years, most days had been comprised out of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire- because, if truth be told, big _smelly_ gamblers that would come knocking on their door, demanding payment for all the IOUs the blonde woman would leave behind, was really rather intense. If that hadn't been bad enough, the older woman's infamy as the "Legendary Sucker" had preceded their arrival to _every_ single gambling house, gathering all sorts of shady, money-grabbing characters like flies to shit. And she would have mentally slapped her mouth for the choice of words, but another truth was that, if Tsunade had not become Hokage when she did, chances were that she'd have to confine herself- and poor Ton-Ton- in a padded room with no windows, because she could no longer deal with those _legendary_ loosing streaks. Nevermind that Tsunade herself was never daunted by her bad luck. Nevermind that Konoha's financial state was still in recovery, after the word got out that said Legendary Sucker was now, in fact, Konoha's Godaime and all the bills had been swiftly forwarded to the Village.

It was almost a comedy- not that anyone in the Hokage Tower would ever dare laugh, lest they fall victims of a most gruesome violation, involving raw physical strength and the Godaime's fiery temperament. That being said, one would think that she'd have been immune to whatever kind of tension had fused the room- pungent and thick- making anyone but the Godaime antsy. Tsunade herself was just getting more pissed off by the minute.

If this were a play, the stage was overcrowded.

"This delay is unacceptable, Princess." Utatane Koharu chastised, with all the pompous attitude that she had amassed in her old age.

And was quickly backed by her male counterpart, Mitokado Homura. "You need to learn how to keep better reign over your subordinates."

"With all due respect to your positions as Elders of the Village, _my_ subordinates are _my_ concern." Tsunade panned back, carefully keeping her temper in check. "I appreciate your presence here, so I would ask for your patience a while longer." She added in a smoother tone, almost like a mantra, reminding herself that she could not have a fit there and then.

Shizune held Tonton to her and heaved a deep breath. It was her view that life itself was, for the most part, a stage and everyone had a part in it, however minor. Everyone would enter having rehearsed their behaviors after countless encounters that had previously shaped them. They were the writers of their own scenes, most times uncomprehending of the rest of the cast, adding to the cacophony of human misconceptions.

Her dark eyes studied the current assemblage somewhat nervously.

There were three ANBU on either side of the Hokage, apparently patient as ever, but she had been around them enough to know that they wanted this over and done with. There were the Village Elders, currently bickering with Tsunade about when the proceedings would begin, them too wanting to get this over with, though for different reasons- they had been out of their mausoleum for way too long. There was Yamato, looking uncomfortably out of place on the far left of the room. Right beside him stood Sakura and _antsy_ didn't even begin to describe her- after all, she had vested interests in this. Kakashi was leaning against the wall on the other side, reading an Icha-Icha book- and wasn't that _porn,_ anyway?- probably the only person impervious to the terrible strain vying through the room.

And then there was the man of the hour himself: Uchiha Sasuke. He stood there in the center of the room- at the center of attention- stoic and still, assuming the poise of a spectator, not the one whose quality of life would be determined by the results of the hearing. And though there would have to have been a truly grievous nose-dive in the boy's mental faculties to warrant bringing _execution _back on the table, he was not nearly out of the woods. In fact, when things were underway and going well, maybe then he could be inthe _general _woods area and start mapping his way out. She had to wonder if any of this crossed his thoughts as those charcoal eyes were fixed on a spot somewhere over the Godaime's shoulder, almost unblinking.

All this commotion rather emphasized on one particular absence than the presence of everyone else, much like a much advertized show, suddenly and inexplicably missing one of its spotlight stars. Uzumaki Naruto was not in the room.

She really couldn't explain that, nor could anyone else, which was why they had assumed that he was simply late. Time had stretched enough though to imply that either something had come up or the boy had opted not to appear. Anyone who knew Naruto would easily answer that there was nothing that could stand in his way when it came to the Uchiha- he would become the epitome of an irresistible force- so the question became why he would decide not to attend the meeting that decided his precious friend's fate and what that meant for Sasuke. When the Uchiha had been asked about this, his reply had been the stubborn denial of any knowledge- which shouldn't have surprised anyone, since he had always been the proverbial immovable object.

"We want to know what is the meaning of this delay." Homura insisted. "The Uzumaki boy has been the fervent advocate for Uchiha Sasuke. Maybe his absence suggests more about what our decision should be than any argument by your ANBU and even his mentor."

Shizune had to bite her lip at that. It was true that everyone in the room was feeling very nervous about Naruto's absence and the fact that Sasuke had made no attempt to lift the air of accusation off of him had complicated things further. The blonde woman shared a brief look with her, but she needed no more to know what was on the Godaime's mind. Even though she was quite bothered, there was a part of her that was just as nervous. It had taken a lot to mastermind and set everything in place and anything could have gone wrong, but Naruto not being there to dazzle the Elders with his loud, sincere arguments had not been one of them.

Tsunade motioned for Sakura to join her side. "Naruto _has_ been informed of this meeting, hasn't he?" she asked in a hushed, flat tone.

The pink haired girl nodded. "Hai, Hokage-sama." She said softly, then looked up at the raven haired boy, who wouldn't meet her eyes. "I know that Sasuke wouldn't do anything to keep Naruto from coming here. Though… they did have a bad argument a few days ago…"

The older woman watched the girl suspiciously. It was obvious that Sakura was hiding something, but, if there was a chance that Sasuke might have done anything to Naruto, the girl would have torn him apart with her own bare hands. "Okay, then…" she sighed. "We will proceed without him."

There was a general ruckus at the announcement, but when the blonde woman slammed her hand on the desk, the warning easily echoed in the room and the crowd found a very good reason to sock it. Much like Naruto, the Hokage was herself an irresistible force- and Shizune had had a lot of trouble being the immovable object in the face of destructive choices and certain danger. She stroked Tonton's pink head and the little pig turned to her in silent understanding. She had to smile. Back when the three of them had gone around, gallivanting through those gambling houses, she had often looked to Tonton for a semblance of reason against Tsunade's _luck_. Not that they were ever heard, but who could tell what would have happened if they hadn't been there.

"Uchiha Sasuke." Tsunade addressed the boy, who finally looked up. "It has been a year since your probation period started. During this year, you have been monitored and tested. Today we will be going over the results of those tests to decide on your future in Konoha."

"I understand." He said quietly.

"One of the terms for Uchiha Sasuke's probationary status was that he would be seen regularly by a medic nin, to ensure that his chakra remained to acceptable levels." The Hokage explained. "Based on his debriefing, after his daily sessions with Kakashi, his chakra should be lower than we had recorded after his recovery. If we were to find any discrepancies- like his chakra replenishing too fast- we would have to assume that he was hiding something."

Sasuke arched a brow. "I was told that it was to ensure my _well being_." He noted dryly.

"Of course you were." She replied wryly. "It was true, but your honesty was as big a concern." She folded her arms on the desk. "I didn't ask that your sessions with Kakashi be daily simply to get this over with fast. I wanted you to be reasonably tired so that you wouldn't notice our probing… and, should you decide to be _unwise_, I didn't want you at full capacity, either." The Godaime smiled, somewhat satisfied that it had all gone under the boy's mental alerts. "That was why I chose Sakura for the task. Someone you could trust. Sakura?"

"Hai." The pink haired girl walked over and stood on Sasuke's right, rather ill at ease under the raven's glare. To her credit though, her discomfort didn't color her voice. "Uchiha Sasuke has never missed an appointment and his chakra levels have been consistent with our expectations considering jutsus he was using. I have no discrepancies to report."

"Thank you, Sakura."

The girl gave a small bow, then looked up to meet the Uchiha's dark eyes that bore on her, reproving and somewhat disbelieving. It was no wonder. There used to be a time that Sakura would have done anything for him, that there would never have been the slightest notion of using his trust to gather information. "I did it to help you." She replied to the silent accusation. "I believed in you and knew you'd come through."

The Uchiha gave a tired nod, even though it didn't seem like he had really let her off the hook- everyone knew that Sasuke could _really_ hold a grudge- and the girl squeezed his shoulder with a tight smile, before returning to her position next to Yamato. That had been about as much fun as pulling teeth.

Tsunade took a deep breath, then picked up a new scroll. "Hatake Kakashi-"

Just as she was about to call for the boy's mentor and guardian, the door to the office creaked open to reveal Naruto and Iruka, right behind him. The blonde boy's presence sent a massive wave of relief in the room, with Sakura and Yamato smiling slightly and Kakashi releasing a breath that he seemed to have been secretly holding for a while. Sasuke looked over his shoulder for a moment, simply acknowledging them- casually, like it wasn't his best friend and his Academy teacher that had just entered the room. Naruto stood by Kakashi, who smiled at an unamused Iruka, easily introducing odd elements on what should have been a pretty streamlined procedure.

Shizune could tell that Tsunade took in every nuisance of a reaction in the room, even as she didn't verbally react to any of them. If the room was a stage, then the Godaime was surely the director making sure that everything was in place and everyone was behaving. Those honey-colored eyes would be registering and archiving everything for later use. "Hatake Kakashi, your report."

The copy ninja stepped forth respectfully, standing next to his charge hands in pockets, affording the boy a quick wink. It was a very subtle show of support that the young Uchiha met with a small smirk. "I have been the appointed guardian of Uchiha Sasuke during this past year. I can attest that he has kept to his commitment of imparting the jutsus he had learned and respected the terms of his probation."

Tsunade had confided in her that she was hoping that if the questions were kept short and to the point, this act could be painless. The idea was to keep detail that could be misconstrued by the Elders to a bare minimum. In the bonde woman's words, the whole thing was _a drag _bestowed upon her by Kami for her past shortcomings. Shizune had laughed. Tsunade had not thought it was funny, but with Tonton on her side it was an easy two to one. "Having watched him daily for a year, would you vouch for his integrity and character?"

Kakashi's visible eye crinkled playfully, itching to verbally roast his charge, but plenty aware that people would probably miss the punch line all things considered. "I would."

"Has he done anything that would make you doubt his loyalty to Konoha?" the Godaime asked then.

"No." he replied evenly.

"Thank you, -"

"Just a moment, Tsunade." Koharu interrupted. "Has he done anything to show his regret for his treason?"

"Thank you, Kakashi." She finished her words, then leaned back. "His regret, no. Everyone who's ever had dealings with the Uchiha knows that they are a pain in the ass and too proud to admit to mistakes or ask for forgiveness." She said lazily, drawing a frown from a rather disgruntled Sasuke, which she ignored. "But I do have proof of his _loyalty_ to Konoha. Yamato, if you please."

Just like Sakura and Kakashi before him, the taicho walked over to where Sasuke stood and faced the Elders. "Uchiha Sasuke has been instrumental in Naruto's training to achieve mastery over the Kyuubi. He has volunteered to participate and did so with the understanding that his safety could not be guaranteed during the sparring sessions." He said, the words getting a wince out of Naruto. "Even though he has sustained extensive injuries during at least one of the sessions it did not deter him from fulfilling his task."

Contrary to the general rule of keeping details to a bare minimum, Tsunade persisted on this for reasons that were obvious to her aide- and more than likely most everyone else in the room too. Yes, she had all the reports and had personally seen to the Uchiha's injuries, but part of the show was drawing out the good elements and milking them, because- frankly- she didn't have much to work with. "How would you describe his performance on the task?"

"I have been present in every one of those sessions and I can assure you that Sasuke has shown the commitment and dedication of a true Konoha ninja." Yamato replied solemnly.

"Thank you." Tsunade dismissed him making a few notes on a blank scroll. "Naruto." She said then, without looking up from what she was writing. "Do you have anything to add?"

There was a moment of hesitation that made the Godaime finally look up. When she did though, the blonde boy was already stepping up to stand by the Uchiha's side, his features set on an expression that conveyed nothing but determination.

Shizune blinked at the oddity of that moment that resembled a sudden hiccup in the midst of a dramatic scene. It had all been seamlessly assembled and the one thing that proposed a hazard was the one person that had been holding everything together. It made her consider the two boys- the two main characters in the play of life that unfolded through impromptu lines and off the cuff acting, predetermined only by who they were in themselves and to each other. They were the epitome of what it meant for the irresistible force to meet the immovable object. Both of them had tried to overpower each other- Naruto had tried to pull Sasuke back with all his strength, but even that had not been enough to change the other boy's course from his spiraling dark path. There could never be a winner when forces like them collided, when the traction and resistance would forever be inhumanly equivalent. In the case of Naruto and Sasuke, the loudmouth ninja had the fortunate circumstance of being there when the Uchiha's reason to resist had perished. Naruto was there to fill with his force and dreams what had been left empty after Itachi had died.

"No one believed in Sasuke like I have all these years." Naruto started, getting an equal amount of smiles and arched brows from all around the room. "I never listened when you or my friends and even my mentors had told me to give up on him. I persisted in going after him time after time even though he had sent me back, fought me and tried to kill me."

By then Sasuke had turned to stare at the blonde, his expression clearly conveying his wonder as to how deep the blonde intended to dig his grave with that verbal golden shovel. After a moment, though, his features set again on that stoic expression. Shizune had noticed how much the Uchiha had changed in his years of self-exile from the village probably more than most people had. It was true that she had not really known the boy before he chose to follow Orochimaru's acolytes away from all that was dear and home, although Sakura had spoken fondly of how different he was once one got to know him and Naruto's blind loyalty spoke in volumes of the quality of the dark boy. She did, however, know enough of Orochimaru- because Tsunade had never gotten over his treason and she was inebriated often enough, bitter enough, to be painfully truthful- to know that the young Uchiha would have to hone his instincts and acting skills, if he were to associate with such a man at any level. If that impenetrable wall that guarded his expressions was any indication, the boy had been an avid student.

Naruto's face lit up with that very familiar slightly cocky, but mostly, simply, confident expression that those close to him had come to know so well. "I brought him back though. I proved you all wrong- about what he's like and that we can still save him." He said- _chirped_, actually, because Uzumaki Naruto _loved_ to cash in on his 'I told you so' moments, as they didn't come by very often. "Though he's still quite pigheaded and has _zero_ social skills, I don't think that by now there's anyone in Konoha that can deny that he's more or less the annoying bastard that all of you had such high hopes for."

The words had been uttered very casually, bringing an amused smile on most- visible- faces, a frown on the Elders and a twitch on the Uchiha's dark brow. The attempt to drain any kind of reaction from his body language was easily flushed down as it easily happened with the Number one Ninja at surprising people. It was very much like the blonde boy to improvise, straying off life's script to his heart's desire. It was refreshing, though Tsunade would have had a different choice of words when asked in the heat of an argument with him.

"And how would you describe his performance during the Kyuubi training?" Tsunade asked somberly, though it was quite apparent that she was already feeling rather on the confident side about the outcome of the hearing. "Was he committed to it?"

At some point- that no one could quite pinpoint- down the line, the Godaime had come to accept- if not outright _like_- Sasuke. He was a formidable ninja, but more importantly someone she could respect someone for his talent to stand up for himself without crossing the line with her. Definitely _flirting_ with the line, but he was well aware of where both of them stood and though he was unyielding, Tsunade was known for her ability to careen and intimidate just about anyone that disrespected her- or her _age_. The truest reason that'd won her over was the Uchiha's apparent commitment to help her favored ninja and the level of allegiance to him that was hard to deny as time went by.

Naruto frowned and gave Sasuke a quick look before replying a bit more dully. "He went well beyond the call of duty there…"

The choice of words made Tsunade look at both boys curiously, with the Uchiha looking down first. There was also the matter of Iruka tensing up and Kakashi looking slightly amused, but Shizune guessed that her superior didn't even want to go there. The Godaime heaved a deep breath at the scene. Tsunade was probably one of the people who had to deal with the most aggravation due to the two boys' complex dynamics and was surely the first one that had given up on trying to referee their arguments. "Uchiha Sasuke." She said, finally addressing the culprit, who had brought them at that point. "Do you have anything to add."

Shizune honestly hoped not and knew that most people in the room shared the sentiment. Nothing that had ever come out of the boy's mouth had ever advocated for any amount of favor. However much Tsunade had come to like him, there was just _something_ about the boy's tone that could make _anything_ sound like an insult- very much the way Kakashi could make _anything _sound like an innuendo. Shizune had to fight a chuckle as the Godaime shot a dirty look at Kakashi, who seemed not quite alarmed, but definitely uneasy. Apparently the older woman had been thinking something alike and making a list of things to blame Kakashi for, after all this was over.

"No, Hokage-sama." The boy said, in an unexpected show of wisdom.

The Godaime's shoulders relaxed a little. "It is my opinion that we can raise the probationary status and begin the reinstatement process with guarded optimism. Do the Elders of the Village concur?"

"Just a moment, Tsunade." Homura raised a stopping hand. It was part of a play and part of life that there would be an unexpected twist just as everything seemed to be going right. There was always that moment that the ground would shift or give way under one's feet that would always come without warning, even though it often happened more than once in one's lifetime. The Elder regarded the Uchiha with stern eyes. "Is it true that you have no intention of repopulating your clan?"

Apparently that was news to everyone in the room other than herself, Kakashi and Tsunade, or so the wide eyes and frowns suggested. Sakura looked outright shocked. Shizune supposed that it was to be expected as the pink haired girl had always envisioned Sasuke with a family of his own and had once hoped that that family would start with the two of them. She could distinctly remember Tsunade making a half hearted joke with her teary eyed apprentice about how Uchihas with pink hair might just not be in the cards for a good reason. The girl had laughed among tears of heartbreak, then wiped her eyes and picked up another scroll; but that was years ago and Sakura was no longer that girl, nor did she write stories of 'would-be's and 'what-if's in a diary. What was surprising was that Naruto seemed even more shocked than her, his wide blue eyes darting on the other boy, who didn't look back this time, his lips parting in unuttered questions.

"It's true." Sasuke confirmed flatly, watching the two Elders suspiciously.

"Is it a decision for the present or does it extend to your intentions for the future as well?" this question came from Koharu.

It didn't take a mind reader to see that the Uchiha didn't like where this was heading, nor did he deem to be in any particular mood to entertain this particular conversation- and it really wasn't any of their business what he did with his personal life. The fact that they turned into a public matter the family plans- or lack thereof- of a particularly _private_ person didn't help matters either. One sharp look from Tsunade though was enough to remind him of what was at stake. The Godaime could be perfectly eloquent when it came to wordless threats- _any_ kind of threats really.

The Uchiha complied with a quiet sigh. "I can't foresee a set of circumstances that might change my mind." He replied even more dully.

"That's disappointing." Homura noted, though his voice dripped not with disappointment, but suspicion. "The Uchiha clan has always been a part of Konoha's history."

"Like you said, that's _history,_ not a need, of Konoha." This time the boy's voice was considerably more curt.

Koharu folded her arms across her chest pensively. "Your steadfastness in that decision troubles us. It almost sounds as though you don't want any lasting ties to the Village."

The Uchiha's dark brows curved into a deeper frown. "My ties to Konoha-"

"Are not of _blood_." Homura cut. "Not ones that you would threaten with dishonor, in the case of treason."

"What?" Naruto snapped, stepping forward and slamming his hands on the Godaime's desk. "Haven't you been _listening_ all this time?"

"Naruto!" Tsunade warned.

"Baa-chan, how can you let them say such things?" Naruto was furious.

"Naruto." This time it was delivered by Sasuke in a startlingly soft tone considering his prior sour disposition. He rested a hand on the other boy's arm- a simple move that seemed to startle Naruto a little too much- and said, very simply, very quietly, "Let it go."

Shizune knew then that the Uchiha had decided to comply with whatever the Elders may ask- not so much for himself, but because Naruto had fought almost the entirety of his battles since his return to the village. If he were to rejoin the shinobi- and practically the human race- that _had _to change. Not as surprisingly, Naruto didn't seem to like what his friend was communicating- maybe because he was used to fighting for him, maybe because he didn't trust Sasuke to fight for himself as keenly as he would for him- but, after a moment, he stepped back by Iruka's side with a worried frown. The chuunin offered a small smile that clearly did little to put his mind at ease.

"However _passionate_ your friends may be Sasuke, we fear that the testimonies leave something to be desired in _objectivity_." Homura continued, looking pointedly at Naruto for a moment. "Three out of the four people who offered their _expert_ opinions are previous members of Team Kakashi. Yamato- taicho has the utmost respect for Hatake Kakashi and has worked closely with Uzumaki Naruto. We all know of the boy's determination to bring you back, so it's rather hard not to- no, actually, it's _natural_ for one to empathize with his fervor and conviction." He said plainly, drawing a frown from the otherwise perfectly expressionless Yamato. "As to the Hokage, her affection for Naruto is no secret. In short, unless we have an equitable perspective on this matter, this hearing should be considered a hoax and our presence here is unnecessary."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed at the Elder. He was treading on dangerous grounds by questioning her judgment, but speaking her mind indignantly would only prove his point. So she didn't. Especially because he was just a tiny bit right. Besides, periodically, everyone needs to decide whether it's most appropriate to answer a perceived threat with the verbal equivalent of a kunai, a summon or a dart. "And what kind of proof of his loyalty would you consider _equitable_ enough to satisfy you?"

"We would like Morino Ibiki to attest to that." Homura proposed and Koharu nodded in agreement. "No one has ever been able to keep the truth from him."

The tension that had been vying in the room had suddenly become a chokehold at the utterance of those words. And though the Uchiha himself managed to remain deadpan at the proposal, the rest of the room was animated with a wave of concern and agitation- some more than others. No one spoke though and even Sasuke seemed to acknowledge that the next line would have to come from Tsunade.

"This is unacceptable!" Tsunade snarled, deciding that the verbal _dart_ had landed entirely too far from the bull's-eye.

"The _efficiency_ of Ibiki's methods is unquestionable." Koharu reminded her.

"When it comes to _enemies_!" she interrupted in the same sharp tone.

Koharu closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, allowing a moment to go by before she spoke again, in a more even tone. "We are not trying to _punish_ the boy, Princess. We realize that our suggestion sounds harsh and cruel, but understand this." The look in the older woman's eyes hardened. "Our purpose is to protect Konoha, just as yours is to rule it. Forgiving and more than that _reinstating_ someone with the list of Uchiha Sasuke's transgressions is unheard of in _any _country. Do you understand why?"

It seemed as though as Naruto was about to say something, but this time it was Kakashi who shook his head and stopped him. The blonde boy shared a look with Sakura, whose hand was clenching at her vest. They all knew who Morino Ibiki was and what he did. The stories of him breaking infamous criminals and reducing hardened men to sobbing wrecks had made him any 'bad guy's' boogeyman. His skills, however, had never been turned on one of their own.

"I understand." Tsunade started. "But-"

"If you _understand_, there are no 'but's." Koharu said tersely. "Renegade ninjas, who leave their country and betray their oath to protect it with their lives are _executed_, not pardoned. It doesn't matter if they live the life of a saint or if they partake in monstrosities from thereon- their crime is treason and the penalty is always- _always_, without fail-death." Then she looked at Sasuke. "Do _you_ understand why?"

"Because their punishment serves as a warning to other deserters." The Uchiha pesponded dispassionately.

Homura nodded. "A warning, yes. But also a way of setting the bar for the severity of crimes in our country. There is no worse crime than treason. By betraying your oath you betray all that your country stands for, your friends and family. You put your own self over the land and those who care about you. You poison weaker minds with the idea that running away is an option, instead of becoming an example of strength for them. These are your _real_ crimes."

The young Uchiha stared back at the Elder without flinching at the accusations, yet something had dulled in his usually intense dark eyes. If she were to guess, she'd say that though the boy was too proud to acknowledge the severity of the accusations, it had all registered somewhere deep inside, in the place where he might have tried to bury his guilt all these years. Everything stood at a halt, the gravity of the cold, unadorned facts and the silence that had filled the room had paused all life on the stage into an unnatural stillness.

It was Homura that broke the fragile silence, this time in a somewhat more composed tone, addressing the Tsunade. "The decision to forgive the boy is ultimately the Hokage's to make, but, if we are to support it, the least you can provide us with is adequate proof that Uchiha Sasuke can commit himself to this country the way a true shinobi does. That he will live and die for it. That he will stand as an example not of forgiveness, but _rebirth_."

"I accept." Sasuke said, before the Godaime had a chance to contest the point, bluntly forcing his decision and ending the argument

The answer appeared to appease the two Elders, who nodded their approval. The stage was filled with pregnant silence, waiting for the final words before the curtain call, yet full of unsaid words floating easily from everyone present. The ANBU would not speak unless spoken to, but Shizune presumed that they shared some of the apprehension swelling in the room. Yamato was characteristically pokerfaced, but there was something disproving in his eyes. Kakashi would have probably wanted his protégé to be less rush and Iruka's worried eyes shifted between Sasuke and Naruto. The Uchiha had sounded adamant, but Shizune had to wonder if his voice would have carried the same conviction, had he turned and saw the anxiousness so plainly pooling on Sakura's face or the stricken look in Naruto's cobalt eyes.

"Very well, then…" Tsunade said with a sigh, scribbling on a new scroll. Her lips thinned for a moment as she stamped the scroll with the Hokage's seal. "An ANBU guard will escort you to the Interrogation Division and deliver my orders." She handed the scroll to Sasuke, sounding all-business, but attempted a small smile as she added. "Be honest, brat. Ibiki will know when you're telling the truth… if you don't get stubborn, this should be over soon."

Sasuke nodded and passed the scroll to the ANBU that appeared on his side. He gave a small bow and started to follow his guard out of the room, making a point to avoid any eye-contact.

"One more thing." The Godaime said then. "You never turned in your damaged hitai-ate. I would appreciate if you got to it- it's evidence", her eyes darted to Naruto, "that's been withheld from your file for years."

"I have no intention of handing it in." the Uchiha said levelly.

"Oh?" she arched a brow.

"That artifact…" he started, then took a deep breath. "It's very precious to me."

Tsunade actually allowed her smile to curve a little more at that. "I see." She said, sounding a little amused, the way she would for people she had come to care about. "I will decide on some kind of punishment for that later, brat."

Sasuke smirked and turned to continue on his way out of the room, this pausing in front of Naruto. It seemed as though the blonde wanted to say something, but instead he just locked eyes with the Uchiha for a moment. It was a rather helpless stare- he didn't like any of this and could do nothing about it- which begged for words that refused to come out. "If they get you out of there on a stretcher," he started eventually, trying to sound intimidating, but his voice came out hoarse with emotion, "I will personally come to the hospital and finish the job myself."

The Uchiha arched a brow- as though surprised to hear the blonde's voice- then set his jaw confidently, affording a quick smile at him with a short, "Hn.".

And with that, he left the room. The ANBU were dismissed and Shizune breathed a sigh of relief. This wasn't the best possible outcome, but they had made it relatively without bloodshed involved. Tonton seemed to also relax in her arms and she wondered if she had been squeezing the poor piggie nervously- and a little too had.

"If something…"

The voice that broke the silence this time was Naruto, who was glaring at the Elders with non-too-friendly intentions. Apparently, he had been waiting for Sasuke to make his exit in order to perform his encore.

"If _anything_ happens to Sasuke that makes him regress to a coldhearted bastard because of this…" his sentence trailed to a vague warning that had been half-formed in his mind and remained as such, hanging in the air between the boy and the two shocked Elders. He straightened his body and left the room without another word.

"Tsunade-sama." Sakura addressed her mentor urgently.

The Godaime wordlessly released Sakura to go after him. "Yamato. I want you to arrange a training session for Team 7 after Sasuke is done with Ibiki. I'll see if I can spare Sakura, but enough time was wasted. We need to get back on the clock with missions." She said casually, extending her belief that what happened was a snag, but it would all turn out fine. "The rest of you are free to go. I appreciate your presence in today's proceedings."

"Princess-" Homura started.

"If it's about Naruto, I don't want to hear it." Tsunade all but snarled. "You were way out of line with Sasuke and you know it. He is an asset to Konoha and I have seen enough during this year to push for his reinstatement even with your objections. It just so happened that he was foolish enough to run his mouth." She sighed. "Seriously… him and the gaki are made for each other."

Iruka choked at that last comment, drawing everyone's attention on him. Kakashi grabbed his arm, rolling his eyes. "If you'll excuse us."

Tsunade nodded, rather confused, but clearly more than willing to let it go and watched them step out of the room. She crackled her knuckles returning her attention to the Elders. "Now… where were we?"

"You were in a hurry to judge our intentions." Koharu said with a tired smile. "And that reminds us that you are still young, Princess Tsunade."

Confusion was no myth and both the Godaime and Shizune shared it. "What do you mean?" Shizune heard herself ask, then looked down as Tsunade arched a brow at her.

"Through all this have you asked yourself what the boy wants?" Koharu continued, sparing the Hokage's assistant a quick glance. "A true Konoha ninja would not accept the kind of forgiveness that he has not earned. What we said was nothing more but was is heaving in the boy's heart. Otherwise he would have challenged our accusations."

"Did it cross your mind- either of you- that this is a very troubled young man that could have done without a session with Ibiki?" Tsunade was seething at the patronizing tone.

The two Elders started their way towards the door. "That is beside the point, Princess." Homura said over his shoulder. "A man of honor cannot avoid the shame and guilt of his treason. No one knows the human mind the way Ibiki does… He'll know what to do. Ours was an act of kindness."

And with that, they were gone, leaving behind a very flabbergasted- and not in a good way either- Tsunade. "Shizune!" she called, making the brunette jump to her feet and squeeze poor Tonton again in the process. "I want Ibiki to report back to me the moment he's done."

"Hai." She nodded, stroking the little pig's head apologetically. She paused, nervously arranging stalks of paperwork on the desk. "Tsunade-sama?"

"Hmm?" the older woman asked staring absently into the contents of her cup, probably wishing it could be sake instead of tea.

"Do you think they are right?" she asked with a twinge of hesitation.

The Godaime sighed. "Who knows." Then she smirked. "I'm not worried. Between Sakura and Naruto, he has shown endurance to physical and mental suffering."

It was easy to smile at that so she didn't fight it. If life was a play, someone like her would never get center-stage. She would be the curator of life's toy theater, picking up the mess after others. Tsunade had been her chosen task and, by proxy, anyone that the older woman would ever care about- and she was fine with that because not everyone was meant to be a star. She had made her peace with the idea that her part in the play was in the service others, that she would watch from the backstage as the protagonists took on new parts, as they came up with new lines- to hide, to confess, to share, to hurt. Applause would beget applause, as laughter would beget laughter and tears beget tears.

For now, though, for a while, the stage would be empty- long enough for a brief respite between the acts of life, enough to enjoy a deep, full breath.

And that is the Shizune chapter. Would have been out sooner, but I changed the theme. ::sigh:: My mind is uncooperative and has serious resentment issues towards me. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chappie… next one will be Ibiki and Sasuke… I LOVE Ibiki, sorry, he had to be here. Ineed to say that I don't intend to go into his interrogation techniques. I think that there's a reason why you never see his sessions and that's part of the mystique of the character. … Hm. So this is one down and 4 to go huh… feels weird…

Enough of my rambling. Tons of lobe to you all!

Ja!

M.


	34. Ebb 17: The Hammer and the Anvil

**A/N:**Hey, mina-san! … Again, it took me a while to finish this because- again- I lost another chess-bet and had to write a short story in between… I'm a degenerate gambler and if not for my bad luck I'd have no luck at all… Anyway. First of all, I need to say that I enjoyed writing a torture chapter waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much… I'm telling YOU guys, because telling my friends would have a serious impact in my social life and I HAD to tell someone. LOL Seriously tho, Ibiki was a pleasure to write and I hope you guys have fun with reading it. ;-)

Also, **TWNJ** got her Photoshop and started drawing again- which in turn made me a very happy camper. I'm one of those extremely fortunate writers to have art made after their chapters by such a talented artist… For those of you who haven't fallen victim to my shameless advertizing of her art in previous chapters, you should definitely look her up in deviantart. :-D She's _so_ talented and I'm SO spoiled. ;-) Makes me deliriously happy. Lol

My anon readers: **Insideout** – Thank you thank you! I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story as well. :-D **Kakashi's Dog **– Kitty is not anonymous, just lazy. LOL I loved the praise… now if you can stop with the threatening emails… LOL You're a riot.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto, BUT I want to own a Snuggie… you know the blankie that has sleeves. You can point, laugh and say I'll look like the cheapest version of Gandalf imaginable to humankind, but I'll be warm. Warm is good…

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 17: _The Hammer and the Anvil _

He tapped his fingers against his chin, once again considering the scroll in his hands. The light in the room was minimal- intentionally so. His eyes had long since been accustomed to the grating half-light of the interrogation room- lit with sparse candles and revealing only a couple of feet of plain, bloodstained floor around the prisoner. That volume of light was just enough to trigger fatigue that was cruelly amplified by the volley of questions- some of them apparently meaningless, some agonizing, all of them useful to him- and pretty soon the people strapped on that chair in the middle of the room were chasing shadows.

Once again his eyes narrowed at the scroll musing over the order that he could recite by heart now. It was preposterous.

His current quandary, was physically strapped in that single chair in the middle of the room, watching the darkness straight ahead of him. It was a necessary precaution that experience had insisted that he kept with all his prisoners. There and then Uchiha Sasuke was his _guest_, one might say, since the Hokage had ordered him to interrogate and attest to the truthfulness of his intentions, but _provisionally_. The boy had managed to maintain a prissy attitude, even as small beads of sweat had started to form on the side of his face, even as the unyielding look in his eyes was slowly succumbing to fatigue- a kind of fatigue that lurked in his mind before he had even stepped into his division. There was something weighing inside the boy, something almost palpable, with a life of its own- and he was determined to chase it out of the shadows and into the light. It had taken them a while and it was going to take a _long_ while longer considering his orders and the fact that he was not satisfied with the answers he was getting. They sounded true and, perhaps, the boy even believed them to be true, but they weren't- not really.

Morino Ibiki's dark eyes moved from the scroll to the young boy, hard and unreadable as always, betraying none of the expletives he was currently thinking at the situation.

"What did you _not_ say in your hearing that landed you here?" He asked conversationally. Again.

The boy looked up at him. It was the fourth time he was repeating this particular question and the Uchiha seemed to be getting a little agitated. That was good. Agitation was the purpose of repetition. "Isn't that what _you_'re supposed to find out?"

Ibiki smirked. _Touché_. For the first time his answer had changed from the casual, "I was sent here.", to a spunkier attitude that resonated a lot better with Uchiha Sasuke's true nature. What he had found in his long career as an interrogator was that every man had passions and those passions were the crack in what might have been an impenetrable armor. Now he had dealt with men far more hardened and set in their deplorable ways than the boy that his Hokage had ordered him _not_ to go all out on. She should have know better that try to be _selective _about his services, a hint being that no one had ever attempted to give him directions or request details about his methods and sessions.

If he were versed to using parables, he'd view himself as a hammer- the thing that molds objects and breaks through walls, some of them flimsy others requiring patience and perseverance. What he hammered through was not physical obstacles- though his fighting skills were quite commendable- but the curious, unique defenses of the mind.

"How honest do you think you are?" he asked, once again pacing in a circle around the boy.

The Uchiha frowned. "Honest." He said somewhat befuddled. "I didn't _have_ to agree to this-"

"Ah, but you _did_." Ibiki smirked. "Why is that?"

If he were a hammer, words would be his chisels. He used them precisely, chipping away at one's defenses and patience. A man had to stand naked, bereft of any feeling of safety or comfort in order to reveal the truth- not just to his interrogator but to himself as well. Oftentimes, people were unsurprisingly dishonest with themselves.

"The Elders required it." Came the reply, a bit too easily. "There was no point in prolonging the argument."

Interrogation was an _art_ of sorts- brutal and ruthless, its beauty revealing itself as the human mind unraveled to its basic components. It was different than sculpting a statue out of a boulder only in that, even if the stone felt the excruciating pain of the artist's hammering, it could not cry out in terror. Maybe the new image revealed at the hands of its sculptor would be haunted by nightmares of what it used to be, but it would remain silent, keeping it all inside its rocky heart. It would not weep, nor cradle its form into a dark corner like his prisoners would.

"Why _is_ that?" Ibiki reiterated, as though Sasuke had not answered. He hadn't actually.

"I just told you. For the fourth time."

"And you will answer the question as many times as it takes until you decide to tell the truth." He countered sternly.

Frustration more often than not worked to shorten people's fuse, so it was to his surprise that the Uchiha looked down for a moment, apparently considering his interrogator's words and his own response. After a moment he drew a deep breath. "Because the Elders are right."

The voice was steady, but his tone much more quiet- that was easier for those heaving a guilty conscience. "What was that?" he said, though the words were still somehow echoing loud in the room. It didn't matter. What mattered was that the Uchiha did what he didn't _want_ to do- and that meant admitting to this out loud.

Charcoal eyes snapped at him in a venomous glare. Yes, the boy knew what he was up to. "I said, because the Elders were _right_." He repeated in a louder voice with a clear, begrudging undertone. "I _did_ betray Konoha. I'm getting off the hook too easily."

It must have been rather hard to admit to that. It wasn't just a matter of hurting one's pride. Ibiki knew truth when he heard it- _truth_ hurt and it rarely came with a sense of deliverance from whatever wrongdoing had occurred_._ The past wasn't left in the past, bygones were not bygones and sleeping dogs were just waiting for his whistle to word of truth he would force out of those he would interrogate was just another throbbing hammerlock that would only lead to more truth. And more pain.

If he were the hammer, his prisoner's soul was the anvil- and on it he forged the truth, unrelenting to the red, hot agony that the anvil might feel with each strike.

"But you think that you _should_ get off the hook. Eventually." He rephrased Sasuke's statement offhandedly, so that the boy would fully realize what he was just said. "Even though you _did_ betray Konoha."

That was met with silence and that was quite alright because there would always be brief respites to the hammering. The Uchiha's reactions was surprisingly uncomplicated, in spite of his notorious reputation as unreadable- to amateurs perhaps, most definitely to those who cared about him and sang his praises. He was neither and could easily tell that, though the boy would very much like to simply let him know, in no uncertain terms, that he was playing with fire pushing his buttons like that, his innate sense of self-preservation wouldn't let him do it- fortunately for him. Nonetheless, even as his reactions were almost predictable- and somewhat amusing- the Uchiha had proven quite talented at dancing around his actual answers.

It was time for another kind of chiselling question. "You and your brother have sure caused the Village a lot of trouble."

The reaction was once again immediate and very much expected. "Don't compare me to Itachi."

"Oh?" he arched an idle brow. Hammering down one's past would always reveal a vein of gold when it came to information. People were passionate about their past- it was what shaped them- and oddly possessive of their tragedies. They tended to stick to patterns as a way of shaping reality in their minds- and there was no pattern as real to someone as their own experiences. It was his job to tear then down and show then what reality really was.

"What makes you different than him? He betrayed Konoha. He left. He-"

"_I_ didn't massacre my clan. How about that?" the boy snarled.

Uchiha Sasuke was no different. In fact, he was a prime example of how a single day can change everything of what one's life was supposed to be. Really, who would that boy have gown up to be, had his life been sheltered from the atrocities he had to experience? How many more lives could have been spared the horrible hurt that the dark boy's choices had rained upon them? Sasuke's very existence had a very chaotic effect on the reality of the village- he was a destructive force. Ibiki had to wonder if it was possible for that to have changed or if he would forever gravitate to heartbreak and death- and pulling everyone down with him.

"Hmm…" he thinned his lips, rather unimpressed with the Uchiha's line of reasoning. "But then again there was no one left to kill…"

That had been the closest he had believed the boy to have been to some sort of reaction. What he had said was horrible, he was quite aware of that. The insinuation that the, now, last Uchiha could have repeated Itachi's unspeakable sin had lit a dangerous flame behind those eyes that threatened to spiral with the Sharingan. No regrets or apologies had ever left his lips- nor would they ever- because someone had to do this and he would rather carry the burden himself than let another have it. Because there _was_ no other.

"You _did_, however, try to kill your best friend." He continued. "You can see how something like that might confuse people."

That made him wince imperceptibly, but Ibiki's trained eye caught it. "Naruto and I have already talked about this."

"I see. Good for you." He noted tersely. "Now, how about you tell _me _all about it."

The Tokujo was a master at what he did, it was what gave his life purpose and the way he could best serve his country. And there really _was_ no other that could take over without getting crushed under the horrors of what his line of work demanded. Some had tried, but for the most part, people remained ignorant- and that was for the best. Outsiders could never understand the techniques he would use, and that was for the best, because unless they had proper conditioning beforehand, his tips on interrogation techniques would give them something to have nightmares about. It wasn't just _what _he did, but _how _he did it.

This wasn't the case here though. By the Godaime's order's he was supposed to stay within some vague boundaries of what dealing with _one of their own_ entailed. He didn't quite understand that as it made more sense to him that _because_ the Uchiha might be rejoining the ranks, there could be no doubt in the air about him.

Said Uchiha suddenly didn't seem quite as willing to _chat_. It was a tangible shift when people clammed up, almost like watching someone took physical steps back or folding their arms defensively. Not that the boy _could _fold his arms presently. "What do you want to know?"

Ibiki gave him that look that reserved for the _stupid_ bunch. "_All_ about _it_." He strained the words to further stress his point. "Your understanding of the language greatly diminishes when you don't want to answer a question."

The insult obviously had an effect on the proud boy, but even that took a back seat to something a lot deeper. Apparently, this was a touchy matter and he was looking to wiggle his way out of it quickly. "I apologized. We came to an accord. End of story."

"You apologized." He repeated. "End of story."

It was touchy enough that the Uchiha entirely disregarded one of the ground rules of a line of questioning. The more reluctant the subject, the more questions would arise as to why. "Yes."

"Why?" he asked, not entirely expecting an answer.

"Because I owed it to him." was the clipped reply.

"You owe Konoha as much." He shot back. It was true, but it didn't seem to hurt him as much. The situation with Naruto did. Interesting. "I don't hear you apologizing to the villagers _or _the Hokage, for that matter."

Those charcoal eyes snapped to him accusingly, as though he was purposely rubbing salt in a wound. "I almost _killed_, Naruto." He spat the words as though the answer should have been more than evident. As though forcing him to say it was undue cruelty.

Now they were getting somewhere. Now it _hurt_. "Why _did_ you?"

The Uchiha's eyes widened in shock for a moment. Though the question was absolutely legitimate it seemed as though no one had dared to come and straight out ask it. The dark boy dragged a deep breath out of his lungs. "After Itachi had killed everyone, he told me that if I wanted to have the power he had, I'd have to kill the person closest to me." He paused and met Ibiki's eyes again. "I had gone up against Itachi and, in spite of my training and all I thought I had accomplished, the difference in power was still too great. Even after everything, I was just barely powerful enough." He mused, mostly to himself, with a bitter smile. "The technique is called Mangekyu Sharingan."

To be honest, Ibiki had been surprised by the eye contact whenever the answer was hard. Most people would look down; in a way it helped make the moment less real. His current prisoner seemed to treat this more like a confessionary than an interrogation- more like trying to confess his sins and earn his forgiveness than answer questions. "I've heard of it. Supposedly it is quite powerful."

The boy nodded resignedly. "It is."

"Powerful enough to be worth killing someone you love to get it?" he posed the question casually, in spite of the terrible gravity it carried.

The charcoal eyes never wavered. "Itachi seemed to think so."

"Hmm…" Ibiki gave a small smirk at the evasive answer. "You were starved for power and killing Uzumaki Naruto might have just given you the edge you needed."

"Maybe." He acknowledged.

Ibiki paced around the boy in the dark part of the room, always studying him, always looking for the next spot that needed to be chiseled away or hammered through. "You had the opportunity. More than once." He stated it as a fact, because it was. "Why did you _stop_?"

This time the Uchiha's lips thinned as though holding back whatever words were threatening to spill out. It appeared that he had finally found the topic of most resistance. It surprised him, because his best friend shouldn't have been the taboo topic it appeared to be. That little fact started a chain reaction of probabilities and possible scenarios in his mind. Really, he never posed a question unless he had an idea of what the answer might be. Surprise had an awkward effect on interrogation- it made the inquisitor seem human again, breaking the supernatural picture of the all-knowing being. That was unacceptable, because it made people think they might have some leeway with the truth or inter a lie somewhere in there. It was imperative that a prisoner thought that the answers were already there- at least some of them- and that they were being tested. It kept them honest and sweating.

"Why did you stop?" he reiterated, the only effect being the extra tension that washed over the boy.

Wasn't that _precious_? Entirely unhelpful too. Ibiki cursed, for the umpteenth time, at the Godaime's list of limitations, because this was the point where he'd go into a new level, forcing through those mental defenses and eventually adding pain to the mix. It expedited things exponentially.

Being unable to use _physical_ techniques was much like having a hand tied behind his back. Some people would have an extraordinarily strong mind, they could withstand any kind of psychological stresses. If he had to guess, he'd say that the Uchiha would probably be one of them, not one of the best, but quite a tough nut to crack- with _nut _not always being a figure of speech. The boy was just too traumatized to be mentally or emotionally impenetrable. He had come across it once or twice though. That's where what imbeciles would brusquely call _torture_ would come into play. Many could convince themselves that pain was a myth, but he was familiar with a few special, myth-busting nerve endings. No human could ignore those.

Suppose this just _had_ to be done the hard way. "Are you _proud_ of your clan, Sasuke?" he asked then, picking up from another angle.

_Sasuke_, not "Uchiha", not "you". That had been the first time that his name had been used so the boy looked back even more suspicious than before. "Of course."

"Why?" he arched a brow.

"Why?" he scoffed. "It's my _family_. It's my _heritage_."

"Quite a heritage." Ibiki deadpanned. "You think that Itachi was the _first_ to kill someone precious to him?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously at the inference. "Better watch what you say next."

The Tokujo smiled, a full set of white teeth. "Denial can be all yours, but how do you think that the knowledge of the technique came about? Itachi didn't come up with it, it was there for the taking." He practically guessed, but if theboy's expression was anything to go by, he had been bang-on right. "Your clansmen had probably been murdering their most important people for centuries."

For the first time since this session had started Uchiha Sasuke looked like he had just been backhanded. His hammering had just broken through him, he could tell. The thought that he had so simply presented had never even occurred to the boy, no matter how much he knew about the Sharingan and even as his power had been seasoned on years of bloodshed. For the first time, Uchiha sasuke looked like a lost child- just like everyone he had ever interrogated.

That had never deterred him. It didn't now either, so he hammered on. "In fact, an argument could be made that you Uchihas shouldn't be allowed to breed."

"Shut up." Sasuke hissed- and it wasn't an order, it wasn't a plea, but something deep… and hollow.

"What a treat… to be loved by an Uchiha…" He continued unimpressed and somewhat disgusted. "Killing seems to run in the family, so why spare Naruto?"

The Uchiha shook his head. "I wasn't like Itachi. I couldn't just-"

Ibiki wondered if the boy was just about ready to be honest, so he posed the question again. "Then why?" he said and waited for the haunted eyes to meet his. "Why did you stop? Why didn't you kill Naruto?"

"Because…" his brows mingled in confusion. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had killed Naruto. In the Valley of the End, for a bit, I really had thought that I had killed him. I didn't like how that made me feel… empty? I…" He spoke in a hurry, almost as though he wasn't exactly filtering his words. "I couldn't bring myself to deliver the final blow."

"Because then you would have been the same as your brother?" now his voice was quieter because any kind of violent thrust of his hammering words just might break him. And he wasn't supposed to do that.

"That too." He admitted in that dull tone. "But also…" he paused, his eyes lighting with a thought that had apparently just occurred to him. "… if I had killed Naruto, I could never come back. I wouldn't _want_ to come back."

Ibiki tilted his head and wondered if the boy had realized that he had just admitted his resonating desire to sooner or later come back. "Because you'd be killed on sight?"

"No…" he sounded almost shocked at the words he was uttering, as though it was someone else talking through him. "Because… there would have been nothing for me to come back to."

Facing someone with the truth- an undiscovered truth, a truth they've been denying, a terrible truth- required that he dissolved this confusion and that would cause pain. His Hokage had banned such things from this session, since, as his orders would have it, everything had to be sugarcoated in this _special_ case. Too bad that the Godaime had refused to understand that she couldn't have something like this both ways.

"Here's how I see this, Uchiha." Ibiki said, slowly drawing a deep breath. "I might as well let you go on your merry way now and inform Tsunade-sama that you are _more than likely _honest."

The boy was proud. Ibiki was counting on that pride kicking in at his choice of words. After all, he could not disobey his Hokage- who had asked for the _truth_ on a silver platter. With all those limitations she had set for him though it was not going to happen at this point. Ibiki could not give her what she wanted.

"More than likely?" the boy reiterated with a frown.

Uchiha Sasuke, though, could- he _would_. "More than likely, as in more or less the truth or the truth for the most part."

Dark brows mingled over perfectly puzzled charcoal eyes. "And here I thought you were an _expert_ in interrogation. Does _more than likely _cut it?"

"Of course not." Ibiki sneered. "Anything but the _whole_ truth is _half_ a lie.

The boy looked confused beyond all reason. "Then why…?

"You need to understand something, Uchiha." He said then. "I am not pushing or prodding as much as I can. As much as I _would_. Our Hokage sent you here with a memo for _special treatment_." He waved the scroll at Sasuke.

The Uchiha frowned. "I did not know that."

"Hmm." He noted dismissively. "In any, case it makes no difference. Orders are orders."

"It makes a difference to me." The boy protested. "I want this to end. There can be no qualm about my loyalty or this has all been pointless."

It was almost beautiful, how eagerly the mind worked once set on a specific track. To achieve a set goal it would bypass reason and comfort. Once things got to that- and they rarely did- his subject would no longer need to be hammered or chiseled. "Oh? How do you suggest we go about that, when I'm not supposed to go the distance in your _special _case?"

"Go the distance. Then go the extra mile."

Then- in that glorious moment- his subject would be tamed, accepting its part as the anvil. The main difference between him and whoever was strapped on that chair was a lot simpler than his definition as the interrogator or the Tokujo or even the skilled ninja that he was. The difference lay in the way that he faced his passions. His prisoners were swayed by their emotions, their desires. Whatever they had done that had landed them in that room had sprang from a source so deep inside that they had been compelled to listen to its beckoning call. Their passion was stronger than their will and they let themselves be swept off their paths and into unknown lands- literally or figuratively. Their weakness had defined them.

"Make no mistake, though. Your co-operation does not guarantee you a favorable report." He warned. "If, by the end of this, I decide that the ideal place for you is in the Hokage's kitchen, you'll spend the rest of your life katon-ing rotisserie chickens."

The Uchiha actually smirked at that. "Understood."

Ibiki smirked back at the boy. They had reached an understanding, and now he would proceed to break him. "Let's start then."

The main difference between him and his prisoners was his mastery over his weaknesses- and unlike what people thought, he had a lot of them. A man who governed his passions was master of the world. There were no two ways about this- he must either command them, or be enslaved by them.

It was better to be a hammer than an anvil.

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This is the Ibiki chapter… I know he's not considered one of the MAIN characters but he has a special place in my heart and I think his place is justified here. I know that no one is too fond of the Elders, but I think they make a good anti-Sasuke argument and that Ibiki is the man to cut this Gordian knot. ^.^ Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Yamato picks up next. I'll try to update soon, but RL is kicking butt right now, so… sorry. No worries tho, I WILL finish the story.

Take good care, people! Kissies!

Ja,

M.


	35. Ebb 18: The Glass Wall

**A/N:**Hey, mina-san! ^.^ I know I've had you waiting for a bit for this chapter so two quick notes and I'm gone. One, as usual, thank you all who read the story, huge huggies to you guys who have reviewed. The second goes in response to a couple of things you guys mentioned that made it evident that my theme for the three chapters before the last is not quite as clear as I thought. It's a bit like a visit by the three ghosts in Scrooge. The Ibiki chapter is about Sasuke facing his **Past**, the Yamato chapter is about the **Present** and the Kurenai one will deal with the **Future**. They are in preparation of the last chapter.

My anon readers: **Coolcoud333** – Thank you! :-D as to the yaoi part, it will probably be in one of oneshots that I will write after the story. This is shonen-ai and mostly about getting there, you know? I hope that doesn't take away from your enjoyment though. **Dianthia** – I thought about how specific I should get about the interrogation… though Sasuke is not part of Konoha's payroll per se, he's not an enemy either, so I decided to leave it up to the reader to decide how much it took… personally it depends on my mood. If I'm cranky, Sasuke suffers. lol I am current with the manga, but since I started the story over a year ago, it was impossible to incorporate all the things that have happened. And I have a lot of issues with some of Kishimoto's decisions… more issues than Rolling Stone, actually… ;-) So it's cool… I'm happy you are enjoying it and thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. ^.^ Btw, love the name. Greek, is it? **Kakashi's Dog** – LOL! Late again… not LAZY tho… BUSY. ;-) You know I totally ship IbiAnko, but I couldn't find a way to fit her in here. I imagine Ibiki is very focused, you know? Maybe I'll write a oneshot for them at some point. :-D **Insideout** – That one was a great compliment and it means so much to me. ^.^ I don't like character bashing and I tried to give the spotlight to a lot of characters that are rather one-dimensional or you don't see them enough. You saying that you like a few more because of my story is really a wow moment for me. Thank you thank you! ^.^

**Disclaimer:** I own two Depeche Mode FLOOR tickets! OH YEAH BABY! … Nevermind that the concert is in August… ;-D

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Ebb 18: _The Glass Wall_

It was way too early to be talking to anyone, so he chose the very long, very lonely- very _quiet_ being the point- way to the rendezvous point. All bets would be off soon enough, so he took what little peace he could find where he could find it. One of the reasons why he had chosen to be in ANBU had been because he liked it that way- lonely and quiet- and was still quite unsure how the wall he had built between himself and the rest of the world had come tumbling down. Or even why. He had never wanted to be on the other side- because, however lonely, his had been a safe kind of existence, with no ties other than his oath in service to his Village.

In his most frustrated hours- once few and far in between, but, as of late, increasing in frequency- he blamed this unnatural state on his Hokage. Having said that, he also couldn't deny that being forced to parent two hurt kids and an enigma had bore unexpected fruits- he had found that he could smile easier, relax to the presence of another. He had created _bonds_. All of that, he appreciated immensely- most days- but there were some- like today- that just promised splitting headaches. That didn't require any kind of clairvoyance, it was facts. Training with Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura, if the Godaime _could spare her_- and he hoped to Kami, she could _not_- was promising loud arguments and scenes of undue violence. Now by adding Sai to the mix, he be might as well be playing with explosive tags.

Tenzo- or _Yamato,_ as he preferred it- sighed.

For just about any being there existed a glass wall- that invisible obstacle that rose between oneself and their true desire. It was cruel- an inhuman ploy really- because the glass, whether clear or blurry, would always be translucent enough to let one see what _could _have been- what _wouldn't_ be. What there was no way of knowing that it was _meant _to be, even if that wall had never been there. Generally, there were circumstances that would wake people to the ugly reality that some things could never be. Perhaps that was somewhat merciful, because, eventually, one would resign the walloping of opposing odds. There were worse fates than that.

His true desire for the day was peace and quiet, the glass was being his duty. No way _through_ or _around_ that one, however simple his need.

Yamato's peace-yearning mind rebelled against things like deep thinking this early with a deeper yawn. He blinked the last cobwebs of sleep away and, feeling somewhat rejuvenated, turned another corner, only to find himself blinking again- this time in surprise. As it turned out, he wasn't the only one opting for the long way around. His brows arched at the sight of an obviously sleepless Shizune walking by Morino Ibiki's side, talking quietly. That would have been fine by him and he would have let them go their merry way undisturbed, had his analytical mind not butted in wondering what this could have meant for Uchiha Sasuke.

"Good morning." He greeted amicably as possible. It _was_ early.

Truth be told, his motives were not exactly what one might call _selfless_- at least not in the truest sense of the word. If the Uchiha was sleepless or otherwise _inconvenienced_, he couldn't go through with the training session. And, true enough, he would be doing it for the poor boy's sake, but in all honestly, he was a little too eager for a way out of his current predicament. Something about the day felt weird- it was one of those days that one just _knew_ that they should have stayed in bed- and he would really rather reschedule. Maybe it was the fact that between the hearing and his other duties, he could have used a break, but what had baked the cake was the knowledge that he'd _have_ to referee the situation between Naruto and Sasuke right after the Uchiha had spent _quality time_ with Konoha's version of a boogey-man. Oh, goodie.

Ibiki's dark eyes moved to him as though he had just yelled some sort of obscenity at the Tokujo. "Tenzo." He greeted coldly.

Though he would always come up with his 'barrier for the day' out of habit, the old name- his true name- had always been his _true _glass wall, separating him from reality and the present. Who he _really_ was was Orochimaru's experiment. It didn't quite phase him anymore, because he had made his peace with that truth- which had not delivered him nor helped him bring down that transparent obstacle. Yamato did not have the comfort of those who could never fulfill their desire because of pragmatic reasons. No one blamed him for what had happened to him when he was a mere infant- he had raised the glass wall on his own. The Sandaime had chastised him for that more than once, but, though he had the utmost respect for the previous Hokage, this was one thing that he had been unable to oblige him in.

The unexpected tension at the unnecessary use of his name seemed to have been lost to Shizune, who smiled a little. "Good morning, Yamato-taicho. Off to training?"

"Yes." He said casually after a moment, not lingering and quite familiar with the Tokujo's attitude- curt to begin with, without actually adding a whiff of sleeplessness and a good measure of crankiness to the mix. "Have you just finished with Sasuke, Ibiki-san?"

The taller man arched a brow. "I let him go a few hours ago."

Though the answer was simple enough, it was also deceptively cryptic. _I let him go. _It wasn't that Ibiki had found something incriminating, or the boy would not have walked out of the barracks. But- _a few hours ago_-the _interrogation_ session had taken too long for what had sounded like a simple in-and-out the previous day. Something had happened. Something that might produce unforeseen upshots during training, unless the Uchiha had had enough time to recover. A few hours wasn't time enough for that.

Morino Ibiki's methods were the stuff of whispered threats and chilling nightmares. Though no one knew the _specifics, _the results spoke in volumes- in the shape of shivering masses that barely held any resemblance to the tough guys that had been brought to the Tokujo. Those people had been broken and would never find their way back to who they used to be. The truths and horrors that the Head of the Interrogation Unit would force them to face would become their prison more than any tangible fetters and barred rooms- a glass cell that would only get smaller the more they looked at the world through their new eyes. He doubted that anything of this range had been done to the boy, but it was palpable enough that the young Uchiha was a walking mass of patched up wounds- a lot of which might have been reopened during the session. Someone as powerful as Uchiha Sasuke must always be focused or abstain from any form of interaction until he can be focused again- because people could be easily broken, body and soul.

Yamato stroked his chin absently, contemplative. "He's supposed to participate in a sparring session in a while. Should I dismiss him for today?"

Now Ibiki arched both his brows. "Why would you do that?" he asked, then smiled a little at the taicho's awkwardness. There really was no right way to answer that question without somehow suggesting that Ibiki was some sort of loose beast on the prowl. "Relax. If I thought he couldn't cope, I would have sent him to the hospital, not his home."

"Don't even joke about that." Shizune sighed. "Naruto can be hell on wheels when it comes to Sasuke. He's so protective of him, I swear it's exhausting…" she paused for a moment as though considering what she had just said, then added. "Very inspiring, but damn exhausting."

That drew a strange smile from the Tokujo. "Isn't love grand…"

Both Shizune and Yamato looked at him curiously, but the decided that, interesting as all that sounded he did not want to have to have more on his plate than he already had. Besides, when it came to Morino Ibiki, there was nothing anyone can do to pry from the man anything more than what he was willing to give. With a short goodbye he picked up his pace and soon enough he was at the training grounds. Naruto and Sai were already there- strangely quiet- but there was no sign of Sasuke.

"Sorry I'm late." He said, immediately getting the boys' attention.

"You're as bad as Kakashi-sensei, but at least you're not making up silly excuses." Naruto muttered. "No angry bears or baa-chans with shopping bags or orphan kittens you just _had_ to find homes for because you made an oath when you thought you were dying that one time…" the boy's cobalt eyes darted towards the village for a moment, before returning to the kunai he was toying with. "Sasuke- teme is not here either, anyway."

Sai was perched on a trunk a couple of feet away, drawing one thing or another. "Do you care if he comes?" he asked with no real curiosity and not looking up from his drawing.

Naruto blinked in surprise, the kunai falling from his grasp and landing point-first on the ground, alarmingly close to his toe. He picked it up and tucked it away. "Eh?"

A small scowl nestled over the usually expressionless boy's eyes as he put his equipment away and rose to stand in front of Naruto, almost like the other boy was a spectacle that he was trying to memorize in detail and draw later. "Sakura said that you're mad at him." He said. "Aren't you?"

"Of _course_ I'm mad at him." The blonde nearly yelped. "He can come or not- I don't care."

Ri-ight. And maybe the sun won't rise in the morrow. Yamato cleared his throat to hide a smile. "Then you probably _don't care_ to know that I ran into Morino Ibiki." he said, making the boy's head whip around at him in anxious expectation. Obviously, Naruto wasn't mad enough not to care. If there was such a thing, Yamato might have said that the blonde cared _a little too much _about the Uchiha. "The session ended a few hours ago. I wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke has some trouble finding his way out of bed."

"No trouble at all." The new voice was Sasuke's, who walked towards them in casual disinterest, under the comfortable shade of the forest's huge trees. Being heroic enough to get out of bed with an emotional hangover was one thing, but dealing with the sun required a specific brand of masochism that the boy was providentially lacking. "Just wasn't looking forward to the commotion." He grumbled out with all the tack of a man that had just come down from the mountains.

"Then maybe you should have stayed home." Naruto muttered and, though there was something honestly chastising and caring about his tone, his eyes remained stubbornly fixed away from the Uchiha.

It seemed childish, but wasn't. It betrayed a kind of hurt that the taicho had never really known before about Naruto. It was the kind of glass wall that materialized between two people- because of perceived offences, juvenile misunderstandings, breakable moments and bungled up emotions, but mostly to protect themselves from the peril they might pose to one another. If there was one thing that both supporters and skeptics agreed on was that there had never been a greater threat to Naruto's future than Uchiha Sasuke. The obvious part of this premise was that Sasuke might have had what it took to defeat the blonde boy. Those who knew Naruto well enough, though, recognized that the real danger lay in the boy's heart and how absolutely intertwined his dreams were with Sasuke's return- Sasuke's respect, Sasuke's friendship and all-things-Sasuke.

When the Uchiha didn't reply to the crisp remark, Yamato thought that maybe he'd get a bit of a break. It was encouraging, after all, that one of the parties did not seem easily baited into whatever sounded remotely like a challenge. But, as he finally stepped into the light, the taicho was no longer sure if it had been due to the boy's prissy attitude or if he just hadn't had the energy for the impending argument. He couldn't help, but feel somewhat alarmed at the pale shade of the Uchiha's skin and that strangely subdued look in those charcoal eyes.

Naruto's eyes darted to Sasuke, irked that he had not gotten a reply, and stayed on him, widening in surprise and concern. "What the hell happened to you, Teme?" Naruto took a couple of steps towards the darker boy- momentarily forgetting whatever feud they had going- but swiftly stopped in his tracks, when the Uchiha regarded at him with those haunted grey eyes. "You're almost as pale as Sai."

Sai frowned at his teammate. Naruto was clueless that his words had been rather slighting and even less aware that they had been perceived as such by the paler-than-Sasuke boy. Yamato offered a sympathetic smile- because, really, no matter how eccentric people perceived Sai to be, he was a trooper for dealing and keeping up with the rest of Team 7- that the boy accepted with a defeated sigh. It was what it was- the Uchiha was a scene-stealer.

"Nothing." Sasuke replied quietly, but then- as if he heard himself and how unconvincing it had sounded- amended in a firmer tone. "Nothing important."

The blonde glared back openly furious at the brazen lie and rather ready to beat the truth out of the Uchiha. "Is that so." He said, his tone carrying through the air like a wave of fire.

Though the tone had been enough to not only burn through the darker boy's cool words, but verbally char a human being to the bone, Sasuke didn't respond to that in any way other than to hold Naruto's exigent gaze. Through the glass wall that separated them, the blonde boy could see the lie, but was quite powerless at reaching for the truth- because, even as the wall was not physical, it stood between two people as real as any tangible blockade. Yamato's impression was that the Uchiha himself really was as though he was made of glass- and if anyone should touch him he would just shatter apart. The taicho couldn't estimate how real the threat was, but he knew that he wasn't the only one who sensed it. Naruto was pissed off, but when it came down to it, what bubbled like melted lava in his gut and eating him through was worry. As to Sai- he watched the interaction with unusual interest, intentionally assuming a spectator's attitude. Kakashi had mentioned that Sasuke and Sai had started off _on the wrong foot_. At this rate he had to wonder if there were any _right_ feet left.

Yamato sighed and it occurred to him that perhaps the Godaime had intended for Sakura to be his back-up when dealing with all that tension. He then proceeded to curse his luck that Kakashi-sempai had to be away on a mission. He's trade him, even if the mission involved rampant psychopaths and rabid woodland animals. He'd _triple-dog_ trade him. "Sasuke, you're staying with me." He said finally, deciding to check the boy for cracks. "Sai, Naruto, try the boulders."

His ruling was not entirely approved by Naruto, whose eyes narrowed as they moved from the Uchiha to the boulders, some 50 yards away. He wanted to object- that much was blatantly obvious- and had probably intended to actually _beat _some sense into his friend during training- it was a little disturbing how eagerly he seemed to want to punch Sasuke. However, quite uncharacteristically, he simply nodded, his lips thinning to a tight line. That was pretty bad in itself without Sasuke's almost tangible sense of relief thickening the air of awkwardness- thickening the glass wall that rose higher and higher between them.

"Whatever…" Naruto muttered after a moment and clasped Sai's wrist, dragging him along. "Come on, Sai."

It was only then that Sasuke's expression changed, his features coming to life. A frown easily creased his brows, the look in his eyes- quite dull until then- sparking intense and most definitely on the unfriendly side of the spectrum. Yamato noticed that Naruto had not let go of the other boy's wrist. Something was brewing- and it was getting very, very tough to keep a lid on.

_Oh, for K__ami's sake_, he thought at both of them- because really, that little demonstration of mistimed reactions was at best childish- and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Ready?" he asked the boy, calling for his attention.

The Uchiha surprised him with taking a moment longer, before turning to him and assuming a defensive stance in silent wait for the older man's move. Yamato wanted to shake his head at the boy, but that would only serve to create another glass wall- and though the taicho would be able to see though the boy's pride, they had enough walls to deal with already. Though those dark eyes had never wavered from him, he could tell that Sasuke's focus was split. In addition to Kakashi's comment, he remembered a recent conversation with Naruto that the boy had voiced his concern about how well Sasuke and Sai could work together. The newest addition to what used to be Team 7 had earned his ranks, his place on the team and more than deserved his teammate's loyalty, however obscure his humor at times. Naruto was utterly loyal to his friends, but his bond with the Uchiha was beyond compare. Everyone knew that. The freakin rocks several hidden villages away knew that_._

What he had not figured into his _educated_ _guess_ of the situation was that the Uchiha might be harboring an equally obsessive streak about Naruto in his very own dysfunctional way. Truth be told, and if Sasuke's hostile aura was anything to go by, he had grievously miscalculated the dark boy's reactions and underestimated the gravity of Naruto's concern. It was not a matter of bad chemistry between Sasuke and Sai, but rather an issue of Sasuke refusing to recognize Sai's place at Naruto's side, maybe even fearing that he was not as _irreplaceable _to the blonde as he had thought. As to Sai… He wasn't sure what Sai thought of the Uchiha, but knew that the otherwise impassive boy was fiercely protective of his new bonds and Naruto in particular.

Those walls that each of the boys had built had created a maze- not so much of glass, but mirrors, because all they could really see was their own reflections, not each other. Maybe a different approach was in order. "Have you rested at all, Sasuke?"

The question washed his troubled featured with surprise. "Some." He said cautiously.

He sized the boy up, considering the best way to bypass the already defensive attitude. Trying to bulldoze, push, prod, manipulate or insist for information wouldn't work, his instincts- and the boy's reputation- told him that much. It also wouldn't be necessary. He squatted on the grass, gesturing for the boy to join him.

Sasuke's frown deepened a little. "That's hardly the best way to spar." He noted somewhat dryly, but there was definite curiosity underlying his tone.

"One of the good things about being a team leader is that you get to _decide_ what's best." Yamato suggested with a smile.

After a short moment, the young Uchiha settled on the trunk of a long-since-fallen tree a couple of feet away from the older man. It was kind of ironic that the Uchiha had unknowingly favored Sai's spot. "Now what?"

The taicho noticed how the boy's movements lacked their usual perfect grace, so it was safe to presume that if he had gotten any sleep at all it had been not sufficient. "I'd like you to watch Naruto and Sai spar for a while." He said. "I'd like your thoughts."

That was greeted with an arched brow. "My thoughts." He repeated, like the words were an incoherent jumble that he was trying to mimic. "I've been sparring with Naruto since I was twelve. Most recently, we've had a couple of close calls- I think I know how he _fights_."

Yamato had to smile a little at how downright territorial that had sounded. It was somewhat endearing to see that side of Sasuke, to find that, just like everybody else, he needed to hold on to what he felt was his- his friend, his bond. It was also assuring. People who had something to lose could usually be saved as they would always have a reason to find their way through the labyrinths of existence and past any wall that separated them from their heart's desire- actual or self-imposed, it made little difference. Oftentimes, it was the natural space and elements separating two people- though rumor had it that Nara Shikamaru and Sabaku no Temari were finding a way around all that.

"Granted, you have seen the Kyuubi's power in a way that few people have and gotten away with it with all limbs attached." He nodded and noticed that the acknowledgement seemed to have a calming effect on the boy that didn't entirely linger after his next words. "But that's not who Naruto is. He has come a long way all these years and most of it has been for _you_."

Though the Uchiha didn't say anything to that, the older man's trained eye picked up on a number of reactions- his eyes softened a little, his shoulders slumping as he swallowed down whatever answer he had to that. Yamato wondered what kind of emotion assembled the wall between the boys and the words that would make it all better. Was it guilt? Was it even related to his interrogation or did it have to do with whatever event had unraveled their relationship to that gossamer of emotions and incomprehensible- if not outright _incoherent_ to the rest of the natives- exchanges? In the case of Naruto and Sasuke, the obstacles were no longer physical, yet there was no greater distance than that between the human hearts.

"Besides." He said then. "You need to learn more about Sai. He's part of Team 7 as much as any of you guys."

Aggravation was swiftly added to Sasuke's rich palette of emotions at the sound of those words. "There hasn't been a _Team 7_ for years." He deadpanned. "And if there was, Sai is not a part of _that_- he's part of Team _Kakashi_ or Team _Yamato_ or-"

"Team _Sai_? Team _Sakura_?" Yamato interjected with an arched brow. "Team _Naruto_?"

The Uchiha frowned. "What is that even supposed to mean?"

"You were listing the _members_ of Team 7. I thought I might join in." He said offhandedly, which he had found was the best way to deliver sarcasm. He sighed at the boy's unappreciative frown. "I get it. You don't like Sai and you're sure you never will. You're _sure_ he had to have paid someone off for his rank- but the powers that be have decided you'd make a _great_ team. Only experience will change your mind it. Until then, though, handle it."

The response produced a strange expression on the boy's pale features- somewhat miffed, but there was a definite twinkle of amusement in those eyes. "As long as you know." He scoffed.

The taicho smiled a little. "You have been so subtle about it too."

The smirk was the trademark Sasuke kind, but all too fleeting. Sombreness set his features again as he asked, very earnestly, "Do you think we _can_ make a good team?"

Yamato considered that for a moment before he decided that the best answer was an honest one. "Maybe. Team 7 has always been one of extremes and unlikely bonds, hasn't it?" it was a rhetorical question that made Sasuke look down, pensively. "Sakura and Naruto had both struggled with the idea of accepting Sai. In the beginning, Naruto only did so as a means to an end in getting _you_ back. But that's a long times ago and Sai has come through for all of us time and time again." The taicho's eyes narrowed somewhat. "The _truth_ is, Sasuke, that Team 7 has survived in your _absence_ and you have a lot of catching up to do on all that you have missed out on."

Instead of the anticipated- and perhaps justifiable- indignation that an _outsider_ had the _audacity_ to take that tone with him, the Uchiha sighed almost resignedly. "Can you really _fix_ what you don't regret breaking for the sake of your objectives?" Sasuke's charcoal eyes reluctantly returned to the scene at the boulders, half-watching and half-lost in his mind's proceedings. "I've made so many mistakes… not just the past ones." His gaze darted to the older man for a quick moment, gauging his reaction. "New ones… Pretty bad ones."

Quite frankly he was shocked to hell that Sasuke would talk to _him _about this- not Kakashi or Sakura- but then again, maybe it wasn't that extraordinary, after all. It all came down to the _unparadoxical_ paradox- that the Uchiha did not seem to be exempt from- that oftentimes it was easier to talk to a stranger, who didn't know all the details, who didn't care enough to sugarcoat things for the person spilling their heart out. Yamato didn't like being that person, because he preferred to see the dark side of things. To him the glass was always half empty- and cracked. And he had cut his lip on it. It wasn't something he'd do to another being.

His eyes followed Sasuke's gaze. Naruto and Sai were really going at it, using all sorts of jutsus, familiar enough with each other's style to be forced to be original and innovate. It was hard not to feel his chest swell with pride at how far they had come and how much more they were capable of achieving. He could tell that Sasuke was seeing the same thing, by the way his jaw set- one of the boy's plethora of tells. It was going to be hard- much, much harder- now that he'd have to rejoin life. He'd have to face all the people that he had hurt- directly or not- and deal with everyone's suspicion until he could be worthy of their trust again- all of which, he might have learned to expect and rehearsed in his mind. Worse than anything though, as the Uchiha was discovering, was the _fact_ that reality was not what it used to be- what he _remembered_ and _counted on _it to be. Not anymore.

"A while ago, Kakashi had charged me with finishing up with Naruto's elemental chakra training. I was explaining to him the ranks of the elements and how his wind would not work against your fire jutsus, but would overpower your thunder ones. It might have given him an advantage over you and protected him from rookie mistakes." Yamato said then, although not entirely sure why he was recounting the story. His instincts told him that, even as it seemed unrelated to their previous discussion, Sasuke might find a piece of his answer in it. "Want to know what he said in response to my apposite tactic?"

Amusement etched on the curve of Sasuke's lips as they softened- quite likely at the memories of lines that Naruto had delivered over the years. Then he closed his eyes, allowing a small smile. "I sincerely doubt I could guess right, if I tried."

The taicho mirrored his smile. "Naruto said that he has the _right_ _affinity_ for you." he reiterated and watched the amusement drain back to a troubled expression. "He said that the only thing to save a _fire_ from dying and make it even stronger, is _wind_."[1]

If Sasuke had looked this guilty and defenseless during his hearing, the Elders would have torn him a new one. Maybe he had become so accustomed to surrounding his life with tragedy that he no longer knew how to be happy. That was a dangerous and powerful concept, because the world was really a looking glass and gave back to every man the reflection of his own image. The young Uchiha would have to find a way to move past the notions that had defined his life to this point, lest the rest for it gravitate in heartbreak to his last of days.

"Undo your mistakes one at a time, Sasuke." Yamato said. It was the only advice he could think to give him.

He heaved a deep breath. "I wouldn't know where to start."

The older man arched a brow. "You wouldn't?"

It was a pretty blatant hint that Sasuke accepted with more than apparent uneasiness, as his gaze returned to Naruto and Sai. The blonde had just executed a rather impressive surprise attack on Sai, who had responded with a jutsu that had brought to life of what looked like inky vines, currently pinning a couple of shadow clones in a rather compromising position. It was enough to make Naruto abandon whatever _tactical_ planning he was employing for the virtue of a wild chase fused with murderous intent and expletives- from all 100 clones. It was a touch much, but the other boy was smiling and taunting unapologetically.

"Naruto…" Sasuke started and, after a moment of hesitation, continued. "Him and Sai are very close now, aren't they?"

Yamato blinked, no so much at the question as to the tone. He wasn't entirely sure what Sasuke was asking, but the question was loaded. "Yes." He answered truthfully, noticing that the boy's eyes narrowed a little at the other two. "If you are comparing-"

Before the taicho could offer his advice- which, in his opinion, might benefit the Uchiha- Sasuke was on his feet and walking towards the havoc currently wrecking the boulders with a soft- and curt- "Excuse me."

After a confused moment, Yamato followed him with a sigh. Apparently, emotions had a way of overtaking the dark boy- he supposed that it was not simply due to intensity, but also because Sasuke was, currently, what he might call mentally _ill-equipped_ to process them. "What are you doing?"

Sasuke didn't miss a step. "Undoing a dire mistake." He said evenly.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Sasuke, but maybe you need to work on _timing_." Yamato said, gesturing in the general direction of Naruto and Sai, even as the Uchiha had his back at him. This kind of _enthusiasm _might have gotten translated as _impatience_ by less enlightened beings. "Considering the rather _intense_ sparring in progress… Sai really worked him up there."

The very rational suggestion went right over the boy's head. He never looked back even as he replied, very gravely. "If I don't do it now, I'm not sure I can conjure up the nerve to try again."

"That's a cop out." The taicho accused, but it didn't really matter, because they were almost there.

Naruto and his 100 _kage bunshin_ were jumping off the surrounding boulders to get Sai, who had just unleashed his lion _Chojuu Giga_ in defense. Yamato was under yet _another_ mistaken impression at the time, that Sasuke would have been wise enough- or have some trace of self-preservation instincts- to wait for the attack to be over. He should have stuck by his own principle that when people _assume_, they usually make an ass of themselves.

Sasuke stepped between the two boys and coolly stood there, hands in pockets looking up at the descending copy images of his best friend with no trace of worry- which was insane, considering the number of attacks heading his way. The reason why sparring was safe enough was because one counted on the other party to come up with countermeasures. That was why the sparring partners fought on the same level, even if one was more advanced than the other. If either allowed an attack to simply get to them- without evading or countering it- it would be as harmful- even fatefull- as though it had been launched by any enemy.

Naruto's cobalt eyes widened 100 times over. Literally.

Yamato had been about to use his _Mokuton Mokujoheki_ to protect the Uchiha with his wooden dome, when he realized that Naruto was already on it. The great majority of the clones was used as cannon fodder- virtually fed to the lions- and the rest surrounded Sasuke in lidless alarm. It afforded Sai the time he needed to dissolve his technique. The taicho breathed in relief- which was rather short-lived, because as the dust cleared and the _kage bunshin_ disappeared, Naruto's expression was a lot more dangerous than any possible outcome of Sasuke having been caught in the crossfire.

"Oy, Sai!" he called out to his sparring partner and, even though he had locked eyes with Sasuke, his gaze burned holes through the other boy's skull- so maybe he could actually see Sai. "You okay?"

The stoic boy nodded and stood, looking cautiously from those two to Yamato. "I'm fine." He said.

Naruto nodded back in blind acknowledgement. "Just what the hell did you think you were doing?" he asked, walking up to the Uchiha slowly, seemingly suppressing an urge to attack him. Yamato wasn't sure he would bother to stop him either.

"We need to talk." The Uchiha stated unphased.

"Not interested." The blonde panned back.

"Fine." Sasuke said, arms folding over his chest. Frustration was no myth- especially for someone with pride issues making a peace offering. "Then _you_ need to _listen_. _I_'ll do the talking."

It hadn't sounded like much of a catch and Naruto didn't seem vested in bargaining. "Even _less _interested."

They glared daggers at one another, though obviously for different reasons. Yamato decided that it was time to _parent_ the children. "_Or_ you can both be _adults_ and start over." He said making a conscious attempt not to sound patronizing.

"It's more courteous to request than demand." Sai said then, dusting himself as he joined them. "I have read it in a book about proper manners." He smiled at the Uchiha. "I could lend it to you, Sasuke-kun. There's a lot you can learn from it."

Sasuke's bleak aura suggested that he had a few words of choice in response to that. The easy thing to do was to forget how well he had been brought up and let the cause of his irritation have it _right_ between the eyes. Pushing his buttons was easy- because, for a number of reasons, Sai embodied a million different things that confused and irritated him. Yamato couldn't begin to fathom what they were and maybe the Uchiha's next words would have been a clue, but Naruto beat him to it.

"Fat chance of that." He said curtly.

Said aura got much much darker at that. If he were to give into that, sinking his teeth into a power struggle wouldn't just be easy, it would be preferable to anything that even remotely resembled surrender. To everyone's shock, Sasuke chose to surrender. "Can we talk… Naruto?"

The Uchiha could have knocked everyone over with a feather. Sai's brows clouded into a scowl again; he had more than likely not anticipated this kind of response from the arrogant boy. Naruto was quiet- at a loss for words and suddenly very, very nervous- which rather suggested that Sasuke had said the right thing. Yamato was just impressed. Maybe their wall was not made of glass after all. Maybe it was ice and would melt away at a warm touch or word.

When the silence stretched, Sasuke topped his previously unheard-of meek-and-courteous tone with a word that had never passed his lips until then. "Please."

Now Naruto looked almost scared in a way that the older man could not understand. He couldn't begin to think why the boy that had always proclaimed that he would one day be the Hokage of the Village, who had faced Orochimaru, the Akatsuki and beaten his own Demon- quite literally- would be this frazzled about talking to the one person he had revolved most of his life around. Ibiki's words came to him for some reason- "_Isn't love grand?"_- but he didn't connect the dots, quite deliberately deciding that any answer he would come up with was none of his business.

"… Okay." Naruto said somewhat breathlessly.

Sasuke waited for a few moments longer, but when the other boy didn't say anything, his took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if bracing for some horrible impact and then started. "About what happened in the cave-"

The previously frozen-in-place blonde boy almost flew to the Uchiha's side and promptly placed a hand over the other boy's mouth in clear panic. "Sasuke, what, the hell?!" he yelped, then pulled his hand away as suddenly, like he had been burned. "Not _here_!"

A blink. A frown. Then the dark boy folded his arms. "I can't keep chasing after you, Dobe. I won't."

"You won't have to." Naruto said quickly. "We'll talk, I promise- but not _here_ or _now_."

"Fair enough." Sasuke nodded with a small, satisfied smirk.

It probably required a momentous amount of skill to tumble from the high of saying the right thing to the pits of hell that was misconstruing _anything_ in fragile moments. "Fair?" that smirk ignited something in Naruto. "_Fair_? This is _not_ fair." He hissed. "_You_ are not fair."

"What are you talking about?" the Uchiha asked, honestly oblivious to his aforementioned talent.

"It's _all_ about you, Sasuke." the blonde's tone betrayed no small amounts of exasperation. "Everything is about _you_ and _what_ you want _when_ you want it."

"Usuratonkachi-" Sasuke tried to interject.

Naruto wouldn't have it though. "Yes, I _must_ be a special brand of _idiot_ to have been had like that." He continued, pretty much seething at that point. "You just… you…" he took a few breaths and shook his head. "Sorry, Yamato-taicho, but I think I'll have to cut this one short."

Yamato nodded and let him go wordlessly. He also had to place a hand on Sasuke's shoulder to keep him from following after the bright spot of fiery temper, now fading in the distance. Nothing he had planned was going the way he had intended it to go. That included his job, relationships and simpler things- like feeding the cat. And he didn't even own a cat. The only way he could view this was as a test. All he had to do was rise above it and his rewards would be great- for instance, the cat-he-didn't-own would be nice.

"What did you do to him?" It wasn't a question, but an accusation and it had just had just come from Sai- whose usually expressionless face was unusually expressive. "What happened in the cave?"

"None of your business." Sasuke replied, not quite affording him a look- the wall between him and the other boy securely in place.

"Naruto is my friend." Sai said, his tone darkening a bit. "His well-being _is_ my business. Not that you would know much about that, _Sasuke-kun_."

The Uchiha put his hands in his pockets again and started to walk away, plainly discounting whatever effect those words were supposed to have on him. "Then ask your _friend_."

Sai glared- actually _glared_- at the other boy, before his lips relaxed into a smile. He waited until the other boy was about to walk past him to pose his question. "Is it true that you and Naruto kissed?"

It was enough to bring Sasuke to a startled halt. His pale face paled still to an otherworldly shade of white. "What." he staggered over the word.

Whatever the other boy saw or heard made the smile curve with a strange kind of satisfaction- the kind that people feel at solving a predictable mystery. "There's a rumor that you and Naruto had kissed at the Academy. In front of the whole class too."

The Uchiha had probably not intended to respond to that and just continue on his way, resetting his features to his previous blank expression even as he must have known he had been cozened into showing something he would have kept hidden. Yet, if there was something that could be agreed upon about Sai, it would have been his unpredictability. By _anyone's_ standards.

He quickly drew something and made the seals that would bring it to life. "I imagine it must have been something like this."

A black and white doodle of a blonde and a dark haired man lying on the grass, enthralled in their passionate kiss, settled between its creator and Sasuke and the taicho. It was a pretty rough draft, but one could easily tell just who was who and the older man could have really done without this kind of theatrics. It wasn't the first time Sai had scarred him with a mental image like that either. His attention returned to the Uchiha and he tried to calculate what kind of jutsu he should use if he had to restrain him. One might think that a wall as solid as the earth had separated Sasuke's real thoughts from his actions at that point, but the division was actually a sheet of glass- a touch here, a push there, would have been enough to shutter it. The taicho could almost hear it cracking.

"That's quite enough, Sai." Yamato chastised and the boy released his jutsu to an inky mess without further objections. It had probably already served its purpose. He then arched a brow at Sasuke. "You both need to get to know each other in order to avoid misunderstandings like this." He said tersely, receiving unconvinced looks from both of them.

"Fine, then." Sasuke conceded, most likely just to get this over with. "As long as Sai here minds his own business."

"Sasuke-kun needs a thicker skin." Sai noted with a smile. "In addition to manners."

"Sai." Yamato warned this time. "Let's stick to facts for now. Rumors are rumors and, personally, I hadn't heard about anything of the sort."

It was the truth but also a good way to put the matter to rest. This had been a disturbing day as it were. What he hadn't counted on was that the Uchiha had had it with all this line of implications by Sai and had entirely misunderstood the older man's intentions.

"It was nothing like _that_." He told the taicho. "Someone pushed Naruto. It was an accident… then the girls beat up on Naruto." Then he muttered, "You're as bad as Kakashi."

Yes, he _really_ needed a confirmation that the rumor had been true. Though, put into proper, _innocent_ context, it sounded rather amusing. "Uh huh." The older man smirked. "Well then, boys, I think it's okay if we call it a day and arrange a new session."

"Naruto deserves to be loved and appreciated." Sai said then, as though Yamato- who sighed dejectedly since both boys seemed committed to keep beating the poor dead horse- was transparent. "He deserves to be happy." He took a few steps that closed the distance between them. "If you can't give him that, let him be."

Sasuke scoffed at the other boy, but something about him made it clear that the words had registered with him. Seeing them like that, Yamato could finally begin to grasp how difficult it must have been for Naruto and Sakura to accept him. The boys looked like distorted mirror images of each other- a set of larger eyes, different hair, but inherently akin features. Yet, they couldn't be more different. One had been the vessel of his passions, the other had been surgically emptied of them.

"I can understand that you have been a cause for _longing_." Sai's eyes broke their lock to give the Uchiha a one-over. "Perhaps, I can even understand why. But you have never been a source of happiness." He said quietly. "Think about that before you say something that you can't take back as easily."

Yamato waited silently as the two had their little stare-down match before Sasuke decided to resume with his exit. Sai let him this time, but trailed him with his eyes until he vanished into thin air after a few short feet. The taicho wondered if the boy had been hoping for some sort of retort to his words, but decided it probably wasn't the case. He wasn't exactly sure _what _was the _case_ at this point- first with Naruto and now Sai. He had worked with these people for a long time without a hitch. Now suddenly, he didn't seem to know what _anyone_ was talking about. They communicated just fine among themselves, though, so, sadly, it was probably just him that was out of the loop.

"Well then." Sai said with a fake smile. "I'll be going too."

"Aah." he nodded and watched him leave in unhurried steps.

As time went by, Yamato was finding that he didn't mind those fake smiles as much. Of all the people he had come across, Sai had been the one that he could see most of himself in- fragmented reflections of a life that didn't turn out as it should have been. Like him, the pale boy was trying to piece the puzzle of his life together- trying to figure out which parts were him and which ones had been forced into the picture by others. In that respect, maybe they were no different than anyone else. People were all the same in their belief that there was no one like them- no one that had hurt as much, felt as much, lost as much, hoped as much.

Yamato sighed and started making his own way back to the Village.

What people didn't seem to understand was that their whole lives were on the other side of the glass- always waiting for them. Each day they lived in a glass room unless they broke it with the thrusting of their senses and passed through the splintered walls to the great landscape. And if one so much as took the chance and experience the anguish of breaking free, they'd find that glass was a pretty fragile material, waiting to be shuttered.

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And this was Yamato's **monster** of a chapter. To be perfectly honest with you, I hadn't intended to write the Sasuke/ Naruto interaction at all… but I had missed writing them together and then I decided that a Sasuke/ Sai one was long overdue… to be _perfectly honest_, this chapter looks _nothing_ like I had in mind at first- but this is how my mind works. If I think of something I have to change things to fit it in. It's a source of grievance, honestly and the reason why I don't re-read my chapters… I'd probably want to RE-WRITE the freakin story.

… What was I even saying…?

Uh… Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my take on Yamato. Tune in for Kurenai next chapter and the ghost of Christmas Future… though I promise it will be out before then! LOL See you, lovies- same bat-channel, same bat-time! ^.^

Ja!

M.

[1] Naruto DID say that… can't recall episode/ chapter but I had to use it. :-D


	36. Tide 18: Days are Scrolls

**A/N: **Hey, mina-san! First of all, I am REALLY sorry for the REALLY late update, but it couldn't be helped. I am currently dealing with some pretty nasty back problems and I can only spend a limited amount of time sitting in front of the computer. So that's why. It sucks and I apologize in advance if this stretches to the next- and last- chapter. I want to thank all you wonderful people who take the time to read my story, and extra huggies and all to you guys who take the time to drop me a line- whether a review or a pm, I love hearing from you.

My anon. readers- not counting **Kit **and **Hoshi no Neko **who are just lazy! lol: **Kakashi's Dog – **Thank you, hon. I really appreciate it… and the lack of threatening pms about my late update. ;-) **Insideout** – Thank you, thank you, thank you. The Yamato chapter was fun to write and it really makes me happy that the "not looking into it" mood is coming across. I don't intend for the whole Village to know about Naruto and Sasuke, but I kind of like making it so that it doesn't go entirely unnoticed either. I'm happy you do too. ^.^ **=] **– Wow… thanks you… just thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and sorry for the late update.

**Disclaimer:** I own a pilates dvd that demands a lot of grace… and I totally lack grace. If I weren't miserable with back pain, I'd think it's a joke.

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 18: _Days are Scrolls_

Each side of her body was a little numb presently. In truth she had almost forgotten what it was like to not be numb in some part of her body. The worst, by far, had been the numbness in her heart that day that seemed so long ago, but would forever be part of her present. Each time her son would look up at her with that hauntingly familiar gleam in his eyes, with each year that the boy would look more like his father, but, above all, with each year that Asuma wouldn't be there to witness all the marvels that having a child promised.

She shifted her shoulder slightly, so as not to disturb the little boy- _her_ little boy- that had fallen asleep on their way back from the grocery store, and released a deep breath that would have been a sigh. It was a comfortable weight and the feeling of his little heart beating again her chest was ever soothing. It took a lot out of her to focus on that thought, instead of lingering in painful memories and half-said, sometimes misunderstood, goodbyes. Guiltily, she recognized that it shouldn't have been this hard, but then again, though she had been a _mother_ _figure_ for her students, she had never quite imagined herself being a _mother_ until… Well, _until _it had actually happened. Now it was all she could do to relearn how to experience her days, to fill them with all those things she had never afforded herself or the people she loved, but would make damn sure her son would never miss.

Yuuhi Kurenai prayed to Kami that she would find the strength to hold on to this feeling, swelling in her chest, until the end of her days- whenever that might be. She prayed that she would be one of those fortunate parents, who died before they had to burry their own children.

"Kurenai-sensei!"

The voice startled her and she dropped the grocery bag- which was swiftly rescued by an orange flurry. She blinked. "Naruto…"

"Ah- sorry about that." The blonde boy apologized, balancing the bag in his arms. "I didn't mean to startle you, but it looked like you could use some help."

She arched a brow at that, then smiled graciously intending to thank him and retrieve her bag, when her little _angel _started screaming his lungs out at having been woken up so suddenly. With a smile of apology at Naruto, who seemed legitimately nervous, she rocked the child that, just as quickly, cooed at the relaxing motion that soothed him back to his sleep. He was a loud one, with very little patience- where exactly had he picked that up from?

"Sorry about that too…" Naruto whispered cautiously, not wanting to wake the source of what had sounded like an angry battle-cry. "Where is Shikamaru anyway- I thought he was supposed to help you out with errands and stuff…"

Kurenai made a face. "I can't keep imposing on Shikamaru." She said. Honestly, she hated _needing _help. It had been a foreign notion to her- disturbing too, because she had spent her entire life learning different ways to stand on her own. "I can manage."

Naruto tilted his head at her. "You do know he'd be pretty pissed off to hear you say that, right?" he said and started walking in the direction she had been heading.

The comment produced a small smile on her lips. Shikamaru had been wonderful, his comfortable presence and easy-going manner made her miss Asuma sometimes a little less- and often painfully more- when he was around. Her mind drifted back to Naruto and her thoughts darkened again. She had prayed to die before her child and, though she still felt that way, the blonde boy was the epitome of the tragic paths an orphan might walk. Her eyes trailed the boy's form filled with well-concealed remorse for all the things that she wished she could have done different. But there was no changing the past- it was written in stone. All she could do was make different choices about the present. Days were, after all, scrolls.

Kurenai picked up the proverbial pen. "How was training?" she asked conversationally and noticed that the boy's shoulders tensed.

It was hard not to be fascinated with the boy that Hinata had spent years and years daydreaming about. Naruto-kun this, Naruto-kun that. The good-natured amusement about the plights of infatuations at that age, had quickly given way to concern and a pang of pain as she watched Kiba's feelings for the quiet, shy girl evolve from friendship to something much more- to borrow Shikamaru's trademark term- _troublesome_. The teases became just a little bit more curt- in the truest fashion of teenage drama- but he was mostly avoiding the subject altogether and, eventually, remarkably, he had been able to rise above his own unrequited emotions and be her friend. More often than not, she had found that she was not pep-talk savvy enough to deal with it- not as easily as Kakashi or Gai or Asuma seemed to anyway. Shouldn't she had been naturally better with emotional issues, being a _woman_ and all? In her opinion, the whole thing about "female intuition" and "feminine side" were just over advertized. Thankfully, Shino had been there- with his quiet and peace-loving nature, his gentle mannerisms- to balance the emotional overload by the other two- though, if _Shino_ ever got emotional over something… _Oooooh boy…_ Asuma had made fun of her often.

"It was okay." he said hesitantly, bringing her out of her reverie, as he paused at the corner of the street they had been walking. "Uh… which way?"

All those memories had that seemed so vivid and yet so far away- like the faded ink on scrolls of days past- were pushed to the back of her mind as something about Naruto struck her as off. "Left. It's the house at the end of the street." She said pleasantly, but her mentor-mode had already set in and she was curious. Maybe it wasn't too late to start anew, on a blank piece of paper, anticipant for the stroke of her pen. "It must be nice to have Sasuke back again." She fished and was rewarded with Naruto's eyes snapping to her, wide and surprised. The guess didn't deserve much of a pat on the shoulder, since the Uchiha had been the easy answer in a lot of the blonde boy's _mystery moods_ over the years.

What was truly befuddling was how Naruto didn't think he was quite as transparent as all evidence might suggest. "Is this it?" he asked nervously, gesturing at the house in front of him.

It then occurred to her that, perhaps, if one had lived his days unattended- and even unwanted- as the boy had, they wouldn't readily assume what others could see in them. Naruto wasn't presumptuous or arrogant, as many villagers assumed, when he declared that he would be Hokage one day. He had a dream and, for the sake of it, he had written most of his days on the sand, not a scroll- because it would be okay for the wind to carry the sand away and with it the bitter memories that might poison the future.

"Yes." She said, stepping in before him, leading the way. "This used to be Asuma's house. The Sarutobi clan insisted that I have it after his passing." She stroked her child's hair. Everything had been kept just as Asuma had left it- though much cleaner- other than a small garden she had been working on. "I thought that maybe this way he'd get to know his father."

Naruto stood awkwardly at the entrance for a few moments. She had known him better and better over the years, but always from a distance, always through others- and especially her own students. She knew that he was courageous and never gave up in the way he was constantly inspiring Hinata. There was a definite competitive streak in him and high tolerance for crisp comments, judging by how much Kiba enjoyed the blonde's company. However, he didn't seem to have much of a memory for faces and could be rather unaware of the impact of his words, if Shino's half-hearted grudge on the matter was anything to go by. More to the point, the blonde boy had managed to create a family out of competitive teams of peers, simply by being true and honest.

In a way that she could never adequately communicate, Kurenai knew that she owed him for teaching her _kids_ things she had failed to pass on- the way to persevere, not by _calculating_ the odds, but _against_ all expectations, against the world itself. She also knew that she had never paid up her dept. Maybe she hadn't been able to help the blonde in the past- not as much as she should have, as keenly as she could have- but perhaps she had been granted the opportunity to change that now. The boy seemed troubled and, if he gave her the chance, she'd listen to what weighed on his mind; perhaps relieve him of it even.

"Come in, Naruto." She offered and, blinking in surprise, he followed after her.

When they had entered the house, she showed Naruto to the kitchen and excused herself. Rocking her child in her arms and absently humming a soothing lullaby, she brought him to the bedroom and set him down in his cradle, beside the large bed- that she could swear still retained Asuma's warmth. Tentatively, she covered him with the soft blanket that Kiba had gifted to him- a small yellow blanket with doodled dogs, which her son adored and refused to part with at nighttime. Kurenai smiled at the sleeping child, wondering what other kind of surprises he had in stock for her in the coming years.

Kiba had appeared on her doorstep a couple of weeks ago, with a canine grin- and if that hadn't served as an adequate herald of good news, he was holding a large bowl of homemade _Sekihan_ [1] to go with the smile. Before she even had a chance to inquire as to the occasion, the boy announced, proudly, _"Guess who asked Hinata out."_. It was an easy guess the way he was beaming, but she couldn't resist responding that, after all these years of pinning for the girl, he shouldn't expect her to be impressed. She remembered Kiba's look of mock-indignation and it drew an effortless small chuckle from her- that she quickly stifled, lest her son have something to say about it. Then she also remembered that she had a guest waiting uneasily in her kitchen and mentally kicked herself.

Kurenai walked back in a hurry to find Naruto fidgeting with the bag that he had placed on the counter. He was currently moving it around- a few inches to the right, the back again, then to the left- as if trying to center some kind of artistic masterpiece. The things people would do when they were nervous. On an upside though, he seemed unaware of how long she had been gone.

He finally designated a spot for his charge. "Is this okay?" he asked when he saw her, still uncertain.

"Perfect." She nodded approvingly- rather relieved that nothing in the bag needed to be _immediately _refrigerated- trying to sound a serious as possible in spite of her amusement. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

Obviously taken aback, the blonde boy, once again, blinked at her. "Uh, yeah… yeah, sure."

She walked to the kitchen stove and gestured at Naruto to help himself to a chair. Brewing tea was a soothing ritual- heating the water, stirring the tealeaves in _just _long enough, then remove them before the tea attained that bitter, woody undertaste. It was a kind of motif that she had found very true to life. For everything- and everyone- there was a specific way to handle in order to bring out the full potential- anything less and it's never good enough, anything more and it's far too much.

Kurenai came back with two white china cups and a steaming teapot. "Thank you for your help with the groceries." She said with a smile, pouring the tea in the cups. "Having a child should really come with instructions. I can't seem to do a single thing the way I used to."

Naruto smiled at that, watching the warm liquid fill his cup. "With earplugs too…" he added, before his eyes darted up at Kurenai, apparently wondering if his humor had been out of line. After all, they weren't particularly close.

Her chuckle was all the assurance she needed to give him. "Yes." She sighed. "They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I could settle for an extra pair of hands when I have to cook."

Somehow her attempt at humor had hit a wrong turn, because the boy's eyes filled with sadness and sympathy. "Like Asuma-sensei…" he lowered his gaze, looking guilty. "I'm sorry…"

Kurenai, very much wanted to ask what he was apologizing for. Asuma had lived and died for his village, scribbling an account of days filled with little regret and much service. Somehow the boy seemed to carry the guilt for every wrong that had occurred when he hadn't been there to prevent it. It was a profound- and unreasonable- outlook that she didn't have the words to change for the blonde, so she simply accepted the sentiment with grace. "Thank you." She said quietly. "My greatest regret is that he will never meet his father. He was quite a guy… but there are extraordinary people that he will get to meet. He'll be fortunate that way."

Naruto's smile had a twinge of uncertainty, as though as he wanted to disagree, but decided against it. He had not had the chance to meet his own father either, so maybe he could foresee emotions that she didn't want to believe her son would ever taste. "Ah…" he nodded, then grinned. "We'll show him the ropes, 'ttebayo!"

The smile was very much contagious. His had been a simple assurance, but it meant so much more coming from a person whose whole life revolved around keeping his promises. Her mind returned to her previous concerns about her child possibly sharing Naruto's harsh life and it dawned on her that there were so many people who would make sure that didn't happen- Shikamaru, Naruto, Konohamaru, Hinata, Kiba, Shino. Everyone. Kurenai had to wonder when it had happened exactly- when had the pages of the Villages cruel past been torn to be replaced with the promise of such strong bonds and hope for the future.

"So tell me about you." She offered a change of subject, in an attempt to gauge his troubles. "How are things?"

The boy's blue eyes trained the ceiling pensively, as though he were chasing after his thoughts on the wooden beams that crossed over them. "Okay, I guess…"

Not too convincing, that. "You seem rather preoccupied." She observed, then ventured to hazard a guess. "Kakashi had told me that Sasuke's hearing would be yesterday. Did something go wrong?"

"No, no… everything went well, I think." He said quickly, then frowned. "Or at least I _assume_ as much, since Ibiki-sensei let him out in one piece…"

That was a surprise. "Morino Ibiki was involved?"

Naruto's features darkened a little. "Well… yeah. The Elders needed some answers from him."

The warm china felt soothing against her lips as she took another sip, watching the blond boy carefully over the rim of her cup. "And you as well?" she tested.

The question snapped him out of his reverie and those cobalt blue eyes settled on her- she'd dare say- somewhat suspiciously. "Huh?"

Who would have thought that, for all the ways that Naruto was loud and daring when dealing with danger and powerful opponents, he'd be so guarded about his personal predicaments. Kurenai wondered if he would have been the same way with Kakashi, but quickly dismissed the thought as inconsequential to the present. "It's no secret that you keep yourself _involved _in matters that concern you… most of us try to do the same thing, you see." She set her cup down and interlaced her fingers on the table. "Sometimes we may not, though… when we are upset."

The note seemed to make the boy recoil a little. "Sounds like grown-ups don't get much wiser with age…" he said a little tersely. "Kind of makes you think that if someone is an insensitive pri…" he was about to add, obscenities, she could tell, but caught himself, "_person_, they will pretty much remain the same way in the future."

The- rather unintentionally- blunt honesty was rather refreshing. "That may be true." She conceded. "But the people we care about the most tend to infuriate us the most as well. They wouldn't have such power over us unless we cared, ne?" she asked with a smile and got a resigned nod from him. "You want to talk about that person who drives you crazy?"

"Uh…" he stared inside his tea. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

Kurenai supposed that today would not be the day that she would rewrite history- and that was okay, because people's own pace should be respected. Not everyone was always ready for a leap of faith or moments of revelation. "Alright." she said- very simply, very quietly. "Whatever it is, though, don't let it linger too long. Time is not infinite- especially for us." She took a deep breath. "_Stay_ is a truly charming word in a loved one's vocabulary… I only wish I had said it more often."

Naruto looked at her with those sad eyes again. "You are talking about Asuma-sensei…" he said as quietly.

Kurenai smiled a little, because, even beyond veil of death, that man had that much sway over her feelings. In so many ways he wasn't dead- not in ways that mattered. As long as she remembered, as long as she loved him, he would remain alive in her heart. She could hear his voice in her mind clear as though he were standing behind her, in a corner of the room that she could never see. It was teasing, assuring, chastising, carefree- it was all things _Asuma. _"Him and anyone who means so much to another." She said, her heart brimming with the emotion so much it hurt. "You know that feeling, ne?"

He blinked a little, surprised. "… Yeah." He said a little reluctantly, taking another sip of his tea.

"You are one of the few of us that lead by example, Naruto." She said, rolling her cooling teacup between her hands recollecting her thoughts. "Sasuke is your precious friend and, in spite of everything, you have never been shy about asking him to stay. Even though he didn't, for a while."

The boy fidgeted in his chair a little. "… Yeah…" he said a little curtly.

It made her arch a brow. "Having second thoughts?"

"No!" he said quickly, then run a hand through his hair in frustration. "Sasuke is…" he paused. "It's just… pretty complicated right now."

"Most things are." She acknowledged. "But in the end all you can do is clear your side of the pavement. That way, when all has been said and done, you know that you have given it your all."

"Easier said than done…" Naruto muttered. "Most of the time you don't even know what the- er, _person_" he amended whatever epithet he had intended to use once again, "wants from you."

"So you talk to them." Kurenai smiled. "Don't act on what you think you know, you're not a mind-reader- none of us are." She looked out the window at her garden, overflowing with the red flowers that Asuma had once given her. Flowers would always remind her how fragile and transient life is- but also persistent in blooming all over again, in spite of its certain end. "Don't wait to say what's in your heart, Naruto… time is precious and it's never enough. It may run out anytime- for you or someone important- and all those things that you've been meaning to say but never quite got around to, won't mean a thing. All those times that you've wanted to say _thank you_, but didn't, every time you wanted to say _I'm sorry_, but your pride got the better of you… every time you wished you had said _don't go_ and let reason stop you. And there aren't enough days in a lifetime to say _I love you_ to the ones you love."

The words seemed to resonate with him this time. "Well…" Naruro tapped his chin pensively. "I say thank you every time someone does something nice for me… I think… I have to work on the apology department a little…" he admitted with a slight blush that deepened as he added. "I don't think I can do the _I love you_ part though…"

The comment made Kurenai chuckle. "Love makes cowards out of all of us."

"Some more than others…" he grumbled.

That was unexpected. All this time, she could have sworn that they had been talking about Sasuke, but there was something about the way he said that that was quite familiar to anyone who had ever experienced it. "Oh?" she smiled a little, because no one was ever spared. "Is that love-troubles I'm hearing?"

Kurenai doubted there were adequate words to describe the amount, controversy and intensity of emotions that pooled in the boy's eyes. "What?" he choked.

It would have been comical under different circumstances- like, when it didn't seem as though as the boy was legitimately hyperventilating. "It's okay, Naruto- it happens to everyone." She hurriedly assured him.

"_What_ does?" he asked in that same winded tone.

"Let me get you a glass of water." She suggested, buying for time and half convinced that he would make his escape the moment she turned her back to him. Yet, there he was, exactly where she had left him, looking none the calmer. "Here." She offered. "Drink slowly."

The advice fell on deaf ears apparently, because he gulped the water down as if it was some magic potion that would ease his heart. "What are you saying?" he asked, sounding a little better, although he didn't look it.

If she had to guess, she's think that the blonde _didn't_ actually want to hear the answer, but was convinced he _had_ to. Damage done and everything, she decided that the truth was probably the best approach. "Honestly, Naruto… it sounds like you're in love and the object of your affections is giving you a hard time." She said carefully- which did little, if anything at all, to soften the impact of her words.

Naruto's tan skin paled to an almost ashen shade. He wasn't just shocked, he was afraid. Very, very afraid. "_In love_?" he said in a really small voice. "_That's_ what I sound like?"

If there was any way that she could have known beforehand that her seemingly innocent comment would have had this kind of effect on the boy, she would have kept her mouth shut. Unlike many of her peers, she didn't think that _truth_ was always necessary and had found that it rarely set people free. After all this time, she should have known better than being this candid with someone she didn't know well enough. Especially in matters of the heart. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a part of her noted, with a kind of amusement that she couldn't help, that Hinata had a very similar reaction to a very similar talk she had had with the girl years ago.

"Which is perfectly natural in your age." She added in a rush to help rationalize whatever was causing Naruto's reaction. "It can be scary, but having your feelings isn't an emotional indulgence. It's something that is necessary for your mental and physical health."

Anything that was leaving her mouth seemed like a dynamo that was mysteriously gaining momentum by the time it reached his ears, because, what should have been words of reason, was translating so some kind of emotional blow. The boy buried his face in his hands. "This can't be happening…"

Considering that the _love _subject was what had brought on this havoc, maybe _generalizing _would help matters. "Most of us go through seasons of life that create the feeling of juggling- having responsibility for more objects than we can reasonably handle… but life happens anyway."

"I can't deal with this right now… or ever…" Naruto muffled out. "This isn't about _life_ happening, it's about things that just _shouldn't_ happen. Ever." He dropped his hands by his side and slumped back on the chair. "Especially between _certain_ people."

It was always that _certain _kind of people that seemed to easily invoke emotions like that, though, wasn't it? The people that one _shouldn't _be with- because it made little sense, because it would never last, because their positions deemed it unwise. Maybe it was the lure of the proverbial forbidden fruit or maybe- just _maybe_- life's book demanded that one _earned _the right to a happy ending.

"Trying to hide your feelings from someone?" she asked knowingly.

Naruto probably choked on his saliva. At that point she was getting progressively certain that she wasn't actually being of any help and suspecting that she was unknowingly driving him over whatever edge he had been oscillating, trying not to fall. In a sense, he had already failed in that task, because he had obviously _fallen_ for someone and, if he was really trying to hide from that girl, he had better run like the wind and avoid her at all costs. If he happened to catch her eye, there would be no secrets.

Speaking of girls, a quick account told her that most of the Village's kunoichi were already involved with someone. Maybe the problem, then, was that the girl was already taken and her boyfriend a drear friend- because, really, Naruto was close with so many people in Konoha it was mind-wobbling. That _might_ explain the boy's reaction. "Is it Sakura?"

The blonde blinked at her, his expression morphing for a split second to what she recognised as a cringe. "With all due respect, sensei, I've had this conversation once before and it didn't end well." [2]

Kurenai decided that perhaps the best she could do was let things be. Naruto would be probably better off discussing this with someone who knew him better- or at least someone that he felt comfortable with. At the _very least _someone who wasn't unintentionally putting his anxiety on the matter on a tailspin. Seriously though, she hoped that she'd be better at this by the time her son hit the Teen Hall of Horrors. "I understand that you don't want to deal with this, Naruto… but I have to tell you that you can't run away forever."

He let his head hang back as his eyes trailed the ceiling again. "Especially if it's chasing after you, wanting to talk…" he said softly.

So softly in fact, that she wasn't sure she had heard right. "What?"

Naruto looked at her offering a weary smile. "Just rumbling, sensei…" he said and got up from the chair. "Thanks for the tea… and the talk." He said, and this time the smile grew genuine. "You can count me to help out as well- not just Shikamaru."

Kurenai smiled back. Maybe it hadn't gone as bad as she had feared. "Thank you, Naruto."

The blond boy was about to leave, but he paused in front of the door and looked at her over his shoulder. "Asuma-sensei… we will all make sure that your son knows his father."

Her smile broadened under misty eyes at the sound of those words. She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. When she opened them, the boy was still there, looking back with that resolute expression on his face. She nodded, accepting his words. "The best way to serve Asuma's memory, Naruto, is to not repeat his mistakes… or mine. Don't take time for granted." She said and this time her voice came out confident, because this was the one thing she was certain of. "For us the present is all we have… sometimes it's all we'll _ever_ have."

Naruto appeared to consider this for a moment, before bowing a little, respectfully. "Thank you, sensei…" he said and this time he did leave.

Her strange, copper eyes stayed on the door for a while, before she said aloud. "How long do you intend to just stand there?"

A shadow broke off the tapestry of the evening colours, followed by the sound of steps that were no longer stealthy. "You knew."

This time she turned to look at the young man with a smirk. "Who do you think you're talking to?" she said, just a little haughtily- because, unlike the uncertainty she had experienced in her previous interaction, talking to him was just getting easier.

"Ri-ight." Shikamaru drawled, then put his hands in his pockets. "You did it again." He accused nodding at the grocery bag.

She rolled her eyes. They've already had this discussion enough times. "Have you had lunch yet?" she asked.

He settled on a chair- which was response enough- and his clever eyes moved to the door. "Catching up with Naruto?" he tested.

There was no point in running circles and, really, Naruto hadn't actually said anything about what had been on his mind. "Not exactly what I'd call catching up." She said with a grim at her shortcomings on the matter. "Maybe we can try that, after he's dealt with his love troubles."

He had been about to hand her the china cups, but almost dropped them. "His _what_ troubles?"

Kurenai's swift reflexes kicked in and she caught the cups. "I think your friend is in love." she said simply, setting them safely in the kitchen sink.

That drew a perplexed frown from the boy genius. "Did _he_ say that?"

"He didn't deny it." She replied, which was true. More to the point, Naruto didn't _have _to say it. People in love were not as discreet as they might like to think. They were very happy, very sad- words held a different kind of power over them. "Would you happen to know who's the lucky girl?" she asked, curious in spite of herself.

Shikamaru shook his head vehemently- more like trying to get rid of a mental image than denying knowledge. "No."

Kurenai decided to shrug off the matter. "Okay then… What brings you here?"

The question made the laid back boy nervous. Was everyone acting weird today or was it really her? "There's someone I want you to meet next time she visits…" he said, trying- a bit too hard- to make it sound less important than it was. "From Suna."

She picked the different vegetables for the stir fry, giving him an almost motherly smile. _Well, well… _"Sounds serious."

"It's not." He said deadpan.

People in love thought they could hide behind their pinkie, when the truth of their _affliction_ was written all over their faces. She supposed that no one was able to spare themselves the embarrassing ostrich syndrome. "Okay…" she conceded, trying not to sound patronizing.

Shikamaru's eyes returned to a vague spot on the door, as though he could see Naruto walking away though it. "… You think he'll be okay?"

After a moment's thought, she sighed. "I think he has a good chance at it. That's the most any of us can ask for…" she said and started chopping the vegetables with a small smile. "Now tell me more about…?"

He breathed out- most likely in exasperation at all the cliché paths the conversation was about to enter. "Temari." He said a little awkwardly.

"Temari." She acknowledged, noting that this was one more feisty blonde that she ought to know more about. "Tell me _all_ about her."

Kurenai listened as Shikamaru started to talk about Temari's duties and her position as a liaison between Suna and Konoha, making a curt list of all the ways she was a good _shinobi_. Then she listened as his voice slowly, unconsciously, became softer as he really spoke about _her_. If he could hear himself, he'd probably force that dismissive tone on his words, but for the time being, she was oddly content to listen to Konoha's Ace account of the girl that was probably the most _troublesome_ of all- she had to be for someone like Shikamaru to fall prey to her unintended charms.

And so another story started to unfold, promising to intersect hers in the future. It was a welcome prospect. There probably weren't enough days in her future to make up for a blood-soacked, painful past, but whatever she had, she would fill with all the things that she had never thought likely for herself.

Some people would write the account of their days in stone- but rock was a heavy thing and pretty soon they found their backs hunching under the weight of their memories. Most days were wasted. People spent them carelessly in trivialties and petty emotions, in lingering bitterness, as though they could afford an eternity of them. Time was given to each person in tiny little pieces of paper to make notes of moments that are worth filling them- so small that when one needs them the most they are nowhere to be found.

However one chose to spend their days, there was one truth that some were unaware of, but most just didn't want to face. Days were scrolls- forever marked by the ink of one's actions, one's words- and, intentionally or not, they wrote on them what they wanted to be remembered.

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So this is the Kurenai chapter. I am REALLY sorry for the late update. I say it again because I get pretty impatient as a reader when authors don't update and I hate to do that. So one chapter to go in which Naruto and Sasuke will finally talk and the story will be resolved. Thank you all for reading and being patient with my back plight.

Tons of love!

M.

Notes:

[1] Sekihan, "red rice", is made with red beans or azuki and that's why it has that distinct color. It's reserved for celebrations in Japan. :-)

[2] Making reference to Sasuke's fishing expedition about his dream in the chapter _Yume Ka_ that I had written eons ago… ;-)


	37. Tide 19: Sine Qua Non

**A/N: **Hey, mina-san! So here we are- finally reaching the last chapter of this story. Thank you all for reading and, as always, my extra heartfelt thanks to all you guys who took the time to review, pm me, email me- all the good stuff. You made this SO much fun! Because of this story I got to share thoughts with all you cool people and am coming out of it with a couple of precious friendships, so- all in all- I'm a damn lucky chick. ^.^ Special thanks to **TWNJ**, who reminded about how Sasuke got his Sharingan in the first place and suggested- strongly ;-)- that I include that somehow. You guys REALLY need to check out her art at deviantart- I'm so spoilt, it's not even funny! Muahs, troublesome woman. :3

My anon. readers. Counting out **Koneko** who is just LA-AZY! LOL ;-) Love you, babe. **Kakashi's Dog** – Thank you for the well wishes. :-D Yes, this is the last chapter… And you made it all the way here without making that account. LOL True to your word. Tee-hee! **Insideout** – You are so sweet- thank you! I'm glad to hear that you got a kick out of Naruto's reaction. It's a tough one to hear in any case and Kurenai wasn't even aware that she was talking about a guy. As to the Shika and Kurenai relationship, I think that since they are the closest people to Asuma, there would be a connection there- even as I imagine that it has to be hard as each is a constant reminder of their loss. I LOVE Shika/Tema and I tried to leave some hints about a possible Choji/Ino, so we're on the same page. ^.^

**Note about the Title**: _Sine Qua Non_ is Latin. Literally it translates "without that nothing", but what it means is "That without which life loses its meaning". It refers to the one thing that every person needs in order for life to be worth living, the one thing that, as long as it exists, one can endure anything else. I thought it was appropriate. ;-)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. And as long as I say that, I can do whatever I want to the characters. Now how cool is _that_? :-D

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Tides and Ebbs of Honesty

Tide 19: _Sine Qua Non_

The view from the Hokage monument was breathtaking, as much so now as it had been the very first time he had set foot on it- and any subsequent time that he had sought solace from troubles or even life itself. The panoramic aspect of his Village had always served to remind him of his dream- the bold declarations of his youth and crash realities of his adult life- almost instantly making him feel better. It wasn't working today.

However obsessed he might have felt with planning ahead, dreaming about his future relentlessly refused to let him deny the bizarre reality that was his life presently. Because his future had only included two destinations- bringing Sasuke back and becoming Hokage, in _that _exact order. Having reached the first- and passed it with flying colours- he had assumed that he was on his way to the second. There had never been _any _other plans- certainly not ones involving _this _little interlude. Andnow_ what_? What he was supposed to do was take the next train out of la-la-land land and try to clean up the current mess that was staring him in the face. Said current mess had a face of its own, though. It was one that he wasn't _entirely_ sure if he wanted to gawk at- because his past, secretly praising annotations about Sasuke's features were catching up on him something ugly, feeding his mounting paranoia- or beat to a bloody, unrecognizable pulp. The latter would also serve to take care of any future _secretly praising annotations_, so the prospect was rather tempting.

Uzumaki Naruto had walked for a while after leaving Kurenai-sensei's house, his brain throbbing with her advice and the implications of her observations. Now, perched on the Sandaime's head, he was trying to figure out- in vain, of course- how it was humanly possible to be that pissed off at anyone, _but_ Sasuke, and not hate them. What had happened between them _should_ have had the makings of a personal insult the likes of which only the _Rasengan_- and possibly the Kyuubi too- would resolve. Yet, it wasn't _offense_ that was chomping away at him, but hurt and confusion. No one could have been more shocked than him, when he faced up to the fact that it wasn't that he was angry about the kiss- it was what Sasuke had said after that. And for all his frustration and righteous anger, Kurenai's words echoed loud and clear in his mind, creating a sense of urgency that had not been there before- and maybe it should have been. Because time _could_ run out any moment and his precious person would die before he had the chance to-

_To what?_, his mind challenged brusquely and he had no answer. His aggravation with Teme notwithstanding- which made it really, _really_ hard to accept him as his _precious person_- there was one thing that he _did_ know. He couldn't bear the thought of Sasuke dying- nevermind that for the last week he swore that he could kill him with his bare hands, if he so much as breathed a word his way. Sasuke, who had taken the chatty pill and wanted to talk. _About what happened in the cave._ That's what he had said, not minding that Sai and Yamato were there either.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair- nervously, irritably.

What was there to say other than that it had all been a mistake- which it _was_- and then what? Pretend it had never happened? He supposed that maybe- _maybe_- they could try for that, if the stupid bastard stopped with the _kissing routine_. In the past week, Naruto had decided that it was no doubt Sasuke's fault that the kiss at the Academy, way back when, had even happened. All those rabid fangirls had been on him like hounds out of hell- like it was somehow _his _fault that he had been pushed into that kiss. His _first _kiss at that. Sasuke's too, he supposed but he didn't care- apparently the Uchiha found his way to his mouth a little too often. Well, maybe _too often _was overstating things- a little- but in his defense of the argument, Sasuke had always been somewhat- if not entirely- of the asexual persuasion, showing just about no interest in anything that couldn't slice and dice through people.

_Until recently_, Naruto blushed at the memory of the Uchiha's lips against his, the rushed manner that those roaming hands had moved over his body- none of which was suggesting anything _asexual_ and was definitely not lacking in _zeal_. Which had made it all too easy to give into and entirely impossible to put out of his mind. Sasuke had managed to make a spectacular leap from _breezy_ _indifference_ to _cat_-_in_-_mating_-_season_ during some unaccounted , as if all that weren't bad enough, the icing on this botched cake had been Kurenai's words- _in love_- that had hit him harder than any jutsu that had ever landed on his stubborn body.

"Dammit…" he muttered.

He was still coming to terms with how those words even _sounded_. In love. With Sasuke. Not Sakura- not _any_ girl of _any_ nation far and wide. Sasuke.

"There you are, Dobe."

Naruto almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of that particular voice. He slowly turned to watch the Uchiha walk towards him in resolute steps, making eye contact with his those dark charcoal eyes that seemed to cast an uncanny spell on him- a sort of trance in which he couldn't bring himself to look away. A fact that begged the question if it had always been that way and he was just now noticing what had been there for years. What everyone might have noticed, _but him_.The thought pissed him off something awful- and it didn't really help that Sasuke was meeting his inner agony with what he could only describe as impeccable equanimity. What that aloof attitude made him feel, tasted like raw anger melting away at his nervousness very fast, very definitively- because the bastard _shouldn't_ have the right to be this _unruffled,_ after having turned his world upside down.

"How did you find me?" he asked, not really wanting an answer, but rather allowing his tone to speak in volumes as to how serious he was about not wanting him there.

Would Sasuke be as pained if he were to die- on a mission, choke on a noodle or, what was more likely at this time, shame- tomorrow? Would Sasuke feel _anything_ like he would- like a vital part of him, more so than his heart was to his body, was being ripped out of his soul. A part of him that he could never- _would _never- be able to replace, a wound that would never heal- one that he was unsure what kind of medical jutsu might even help him survive. He found that he had never doubted what Sasuke was feeling as much as he did right then- not when he had tried to kill him, not all the time that he had been away.

Sasuke merely scoffed. "You really need a new hiding place."

Blue eyes narrowed at the nonchalant response. "And the fact that I _came_ to my _hiding place_ wasn't enough to tip you off, huh?" he said very curtly, lips thinning in a tense line. "I didn't _want_ to be found, Teme."

The raven looked back unphased, though a passing flicker in his eyes suggested that the acrimony had registered in a non too painless manner. Good. He supposed that this kind of turnabout was only fair play. Back at the cave, maybe he had tried, but apparently Teme just couldn't shut up and not say those hurtful words- it was, after all, in his nature to simply, _royally _screw everything up. Naruto had to wonder why the hell he was even surprised. His _best friend_ had always treated their bond like a puppy that he felt safe in kicking to vent, whenever his messed up past crept up on him, knowing that he would be forgiven at the first sign of a nearly decent behavior. And all would- always- be forgotten.

"Pity." Sasuke deadpanned, his mouth obviously still untrained to saying the _right_ thing.

Another thing that Naruto had to wonder was how much better things would have been all around, if the bastard had no mouth. Period. "What the hell gives you the right?!"

"Your promise that we would talk." He replied reasonably.

The retort had taken him aback. He _had _promised. "I didn't say when or where." He said a little defensively.

"No, you didn't." Sasuke affirmed, effortlessly making his point.

They could run in circles trying to determine this chicken-and-egg situation, but he already knew that he could not beat the other boy in a _verbal_ sparring session. _Might as well get this over with_. He folded his arms. "So talk then."

The Uchiha's trademark confidence and aloof poise was suddenly tainted by unexpected nervousness. _He_ had pursued this, after all. "About what happened… I…" The only word that could possibly describe him at the prospect of touching on the subject was _antsy. _He took a deep breath and faced Naruto. "I handled it badly."

Well, wasn't this peachy? A half-uttered apology- which would have sufficed for just about anything, except- "You mean when you _kissed_ me to _shut _me_ up_?" he was angry enough to utter those words without blushing and found that this _talk_ that he so feared was just fine by him. He was tired of playing out this little face-off in his mind anyway, with only Sasuke's spectral image to respond in the best or worst ways that he could imagine. "_That _what-happened."

Sasuke winced a little. "It wasn't like that." He said quickly, then paused as if trying to grasp for what he meant to say- some magical approach that would make this all right again. "I'm not good with words, Dobe-"

Well, they were fresh out of _magic _in Konoha. "So how about you _don't_ do things that you'll need to explain?" Naruto suggested very dryly.

The Uchiha's brows mingled in exasperation. "I didn't think-"

"No you didn't!" he cut again and this time his tone was much sharper. For being a _genius _Sasuke spent remarkably little time doing any actual thinking. "You just went off and tried your little experiment in whatever." he tried to sound dismissive, but failed. Raw emotion could have that unwelcome effect even in people who had spent their lives hiding their hurt about menial and meaningful things. "Did I prove that I'm the _idiot_ you always said I was, when I fell for your _prank_?"

Charcoal eyes blinked in surprise. There had to have been some invisible crossroad that the conversation had come to, because he _definitely_ looked like it had hit a wrong turn for him. "Prank-?" he started in unconcealed puzzlement.

The clear confusion currently registering on the pale boy's face did little to deter him or put a dent on the certainty of his conclusions. "Yes. Prank." He reiterated accusingly. "It must have been a _big_ joke to you that I didn't punch you or anything- that I fucking _kissed_ you _back_!" the last part was practically yelled at the cool boy, who didn't seem quite that _cool _anymore.

A slight blush dusting over the Uchiha's pale features that Naruto couldn't guess what it might mean. Was it shame? Was the memory of the whole thing so _mortifying_ that he could not keep his disgust to himself, even as the purpose of this little _talk_ seemed to be an apology- of sorts? Come to think of it, if they were to talk the _shame and disgust _talk, shouldn't he have blushed when he had _done _the actual kissing instead of when hearing about it? Everything about that guy was half-ass backwards and tied into a knot. How had he even survived co-existing with himself, let alone _dealing _with other people was anyone's guess.

In spite of the rosy tint across his cheeks, Sasuke's voice came out stern as he- futilely- tried to intercept the torrent of allegations. "Usuratonkachi-"

Naruto glared- because _Usuratonkachi _had- unintentionally, but irrevocably- gained a bit of an affectionate hue to it over the course of the past year and the Uchiha had not nearly earned the right to even try and use it on him. Not by a longshot. It was so silly. Even before all this- before he had brought Sasuke back, all that time that they had been apart- he had _longed_ to hear the Uchiha's mock-dismissive tone as he called him that once again. It had been so long since the word had even carried any real insult with him. It was _familiar_- it was something that only Sasuke would ever call him _that way _and held in it so much of the history of their bond.

How sappy was that?

When he had crossed paths with him, found him again- after 3 years of dreadful silence and deep hurt and hard training- Sasuke had addressed him by his given name- _"Naruto ka?"_- in that empty, unreverberant tone. It was terribly out of place. It had scared him. That voice spoke of Sasuke having been hollowed out until all that was left was that shell- that adult that still looked like the boy he had known so well, that he had sworn to protect from himself and bring back home. His first, his most important bond.

For all those reasons, that she could not have possibly suspected at the time, Kurenai-sensei had suggested that he cleared his side of the pavement. Well, he wasn't just clearing, he was freakin' sweeping. "And _then _you went on to make me feel like, if I were to crawl under a rock and keel over there and then, it still wouldn't be enough to take this sick feeling from my stomach." He spat, instinctively clutching on his shirt.

The Uchiha's lips parted as though he was going to say something, his hands flexing as though they intended to move. The blonde boy experienced something akin to panic and took a step back. Sasuke mirrored him, not stepping back _physically _per se, but his mouth set and fists clenched- clearly holding back whatever _bold _move he had been planning. It was such things that had created this mess in the first place and the pale boy's hold over his reason at close proximity just about _petrified_ him. Naruto thought that his rib cage might crack open the way his heart was pounding. It was _not_ the flu, like he had been telling himself for a while now- when trying to explain his flustered skin, the weird haze in his mind as well as the fact that his resting heart rate was 200 around the Uchiha. It was- simply, frightfully- his emotions, confusing him as to whether the person he was finding himself- grudgingly, but nonetheless undeniably- attracted to was the stuff that dreams were made of, or really, _really_ not. Not that the answer would impact on his feelings either way. He felt what he felt. That was real.

_Pathetic_…, he chastised himself once more- because, really, just this once what he felt _should_ adhere to what _made sense_. And feeling the way he did, was not it. _It couldn't be._

Things would have been a lot easier, if eye-contact wasn't so important. All he wanted was to look away, but he could allow no mistaking in how serious he was. To do that, he was willing to suffer the shrill intensity of those charcoal eyes and pretend that it didn't affect him in more ways that his mind could positively relay. "But you know what's the big difference between us? We don't have the same things at stake. _You_ gave up on the idea of a family, _you_ don't care what the Villagers think of you."

Sasuke winced a little- because it was all too true. The raven could have lived the rest of his days unchained by and uncaring of anyone's opinions or expectations. In his young age the Uchiha had already seen his life's goal to its fateful end, where Naruto hadn't even started yet. Then again, it was easier to spiral down a dark path- even as no one would ever suggest that defeating Uchiha Itachi in a battle to the death was _easy_- than try to do something good, build the future in hope for better days. Create a reality in which the people one cared about might be safe and even happy. And that future had always- _always_- included Sasuke. He had refused to meet it, to strive for it until the Uchiha was a clear-cut element of it.

"I am so pathetic." He smiled bitterly, finally voicing that recurring thought. "However angry I was with you, there were all those times these past days that something would happen and I'd think to myself 'Wait till Teme hears this' or 'I have to tell Sasuke that'." His voice picked an excited hue, in spite of himself, as those memories flashed behind cobalt eyes, before dimming again. "I've spent _years_ doing that- just making lists and notes of all the things I was going to say to you."

"I do that too." Sasuke said then, taking a step forward.

It was one of those things that had been so unlikely in his mind that he had to check if he had heard right. "Huh?"

"I do it too…" he reiterated, this time with a _prominent_ blush, looking away defiantly, his voice becoming softer as he added. "I just never tell you."

Naruto wore an expression of disbelief, akin to someone's who had just been informed of a vicious goldfish massacre. "Like when?" he asked sceptically.

The Uchiha continued to stare at that vague- albeit particularly intriguing- spot on his side. "Like… a couple of days ago. The waiter at the restaurant that I had lunch with Kakashi was wearing a frog pin as hideous as your wallet."

Naruto blinked slowly. "What makes you think I'd want to hear this?"

The Uchiha looked back uninsulted, in spite of the deadpan tone. "Like a couple of _years_ ago, when I had crossed the Great Naruto Bridge." He amended. "I wanted to tell you that the old man had kept his promise and named it after you."

The mention created a series of misfires in his brain in the form of sundry memories and heaving emotion. The first time that they had been in the Country of Waves, before there ever had been a Great Naruto Bridge, he and Sasuke had trained together well past sundown. He and Sasuke and dragged their feet back to old man Tazuna's home, diffidently using each other's shoulders for support while their feet were giving way from under them. He and Sasuke had worked together as a formidable team for the first time- to save Kakashi, to protect Sakura. It had felt so good- that wordless communication that had been so clear once their objectives entwined. And it was _there_ that he had thought that Sasuke had died- died _to save_ him, fatuously absorbing the burnt of an attack that had been meant to finish _him_. It had been then that he had first experienced what it would mean to _lose _Sasuke- and he had nearly lost himself in it.

The emotional sledgehammer forged his voice to a more gravelly tone than he had intended. "_Most_ people can understand the importance of a _promise_."

"I wanted to tell you…" Sasuke continued almost ignoring the harsh retort- _almost_ cowering out of what he had intended to say next. But then his jaw set, his intense gaze bearing heavily into the cobalt eyes. "I wanted to tell you that seeing you getting hurt was what woke my _Sharingan_ in the first place."

This time the blonde looked down and he frowned. He had nothing to say, because he had never thought about it- he had kind of always simply accepted things as they came, not daring to measure his part in them. Especially the important things- especially as important as the _Sharingan _was to an Uchiha. It was almost funny that getting beaten up gave him credit for the _Sharingan_, because thinking that Sasuke was dead had woken the Kyuubi in him. That was something that he didn't want Sasuke to know. Over the years he had come to terms with being a demon vessel, but he had never really discussed it with the Uchiha- who had been physically hurt by the Fox more than once, at the Valley of the End _and_ during training, but not once shared his _thoughts_ on it.

_Other that one time_…

When he had caught up to him, about two years ago, Sasuke had invited himself in his mind where he had proceeded to push the Kyuubi back. _I can see it now…_ Something had sunk in Naruto at the tone that simply hit rock bottom when the other boy's strange, red eyes moved over to him over a conceited smile. _Who would have thought that something like that would be in you._ It had sounded like everything he was capable of had been chalked up to the Kyuubi's power- and that wasn't so, it wasn't who he was. They had come a long way from that moment, but, even now, he had to wonder if Sasuke's idea of him had moved past that misperception.

Enough time had passed for the dark boy to accept that his words would not be met with a response. He closed his eyes in frustration, as nothing appeared to be having the intended effect. "My point is", he started, striving for the usual fluency that characterized his speech- when he actually chose to utter more than a couple of words at a time, "that I always thought that all I needed was _time_ to get around to all the things I wanted to say or do."

Sometimes there was no real filter between his brain and his mouth- or so he had been accused by a _lot _of people. His next words made him wonder if they might have a point. "Time is not infinite, Teme, no matter what Orochimaru might have told you." He said matter-of-factly, though he really hadn't intended to go there.

Cheap shots were just not him and he had forgiven Sasuke- who, even when he had apologized at Ino's party, had never asked for absolution. He _had,_ hadn't he? He had forgiven him for _all_ those things that the other boy didn't seem to regret- the abandonment, the absence, the fear, the doubt, the hurt, the dejection- right? And here he was, with a few well aimed words, wounding the proud, unrepentant Uchiha more mortally than he ever had- or ever _could_- with other, more traditional weapons. The riposting stunned look in those charcoal eyes, seething with all those dark, painful undertones, made him feel like scum. All the certainty in the world about the justness of his words would not make him wish any less that he could stifle the pang of guilt, when Sasuke had looked at him like _that_- like he had never expected this of _him_. It was the first time he had been faced with that expression- and prayed to _Kami_ it would be the last.

Still, after taking a moment to study the blonde, none of those emotions that had flashed so clearly in his eyes touched his tone. "In all this time that I've taken for granted, I've learned that you can't give what you've never received." He continued tightly, then sighed deeply. "There's no aquifer of love, there's no distillery of faith within me- so I _have_ to receive it."

"What _more _do you _want _from me?" Naruto burst, in utter exasperation and profound bewilderment, because anything that he was, anything that he wanted to be had all been set in orbit around Sasuke. He had torn himself down and built it back up from scratch for _him_. "What _more _can I give you?"

It was questions that he didn't seem to have expected. Because in all those years that they had known each other, Naruto had never demanded anything- just gratefully accepted what Sasuke was willing to give. "I-" he tried tentatively.

Anything the Uchiha had to say to contradict _that_ truth would be drivel. "My whole _life_ has revolved around _you_- your rivalry, your approval, your respect, you leaving, becoming stronger for you, catching up to you… bringing you home. I thought that when- _when_, Sasuke, not _if_- I brought _you_ back, I'd finally have some space for _me _in my life too. Time to be your best friend and maybe someone's boyfriend- _a girl's_ boyfriend." He paused to catch his breath, his mind spinning. No one had ever made him feel as much as Sasuke- and though the good times had made for his dearest memories, there was just too much heartbreak. "You have _always_ been the one to decide _when_ things changed and _how_. You left and decided I wasn't enough to help you get to your goal- to keep you here. You _kissed_ me- I don't even know what the hell you were thinking with that one. Who the hell even told you that I was ready for something like that?"

"It's not like I had planned it all out, Dobe." He fended in a wary tone.

Naruto just glared at that. "And does it take a _genius_ to know that there are consequences for stuff like that?"

A sense of foreboding touched Sasuke's expression, shading it with that icy feeling, as if his blood had run cold. Naruto didn't know anymore what he had to say- _or_ what he needed to hear, for that matter- to make things okay between them again. He was punch-drunk by Sasuke's many a blows to his heart over the years. It dawned on him that, even though he couldn't imagine life _without_ the Uchiha, he didn't know how to imagine life _with_ him either. In all honesty, having been everything one could be to another being, but never something definitive, he couldn't decide what they were to each other anymore. It made him ooze of the helplessness, more so than anger, which was what Sasuke was reacting to with genuine apprehension.

The raven had never been one to succumb to his fears though, always pushing through for the hurtful truths and continuing undaunted down his crooked path. "What do you mean?"

Bracing for the answers to such questions required courage that he respected- and it made him feel unfathomably sad. Sasuke's thought process _originated _from the idea that he _couldn't_ be happy, that nothing very good could ever become of him. He hated that- he found it entirely insulting, because he had bent over backwards to try and put a smile on the stoic face. "What do I mean? We were _fine_ a week ago and look at us now. I have wanted your reinstatement since I brought you back and we didn't even get celebrate, because…" his voice trailed off for a few moments as he weighed his next words in his mind. "Because, I don't know how to be around you anymore." He finished and watched the dark eyes widen more than a little, yet he didn't know what the Uchiha might be feeling. It was an easy answer for himself though. "It hurts."

The gravity of his words sunk in somewhere in those bottomless eyes in a moment of complete silence- chocking and thick, making him want to run away. Because Sasuke wasn't looking away and his eyes were suddenly _too_ animated. Because Naruto hadn't been trained on how to read all the emotions in those dark depths that had always been opaque and guarded until now. He couldn't decipher what that gaze was begging him to understand, except for that maybe- _maybe_- the raven hadn't really imagined his life without _him_ either.

Finally- almost mercifully- Sasuke closed his terribly vocal eyes and heaved a sigh. "I was afraid." He said, very quietly.

Nothing short of the whole truth or a startling epiphany would have made Naruto pause- that's what he had sworn to himself, no matter how ugly things got. _This_ truth was enough to make him take several steps mentally back and one physically forth, for the first time since this talk started, unconsciously inching closer to Sasuke. He blinked. "What did you just say?" he asked almost as quietly.

"I was afraid, okay? Satisfied?" he said louder, his brimming frustration spilling over his tone. "I didn't know what to do. I still don't." he confessed and allowed a long moment to go by before adding gently, half-heartedly. "This doesn't have to change anything."

It was all too rare that he would hear Sasuke's voice this soft and reluctant. If sound had texture, he would have called it velvet- smooth, but somehow tarrying on his skin- dallying about his senses and almost scattering his thoughts. It amazed him that something so basic and ever-present about the dark boy was only _now_ frightening him. Naruto straightened his body in an attempt to break through the enchantment. At first he had thought that it was the charcoal eyes that made his resolve budge and evoked all kinds of storms, but he was quickly finding that it was _everything_ that the raven did or didn't do. It posed a very good question that filled him with something akin to anguish. If this was how it was going to be and he couldn't really _function_ around the Uchiha, how was he supposed to explain _that_ to Tsunade, when she started teaming them up for missions? A question that he avoided altogether was whether he could even _deal _with this abstruse- unplumbed- chasm between them, even if he _did_ find a way to get a grip.

"It changes _everything_, Teme. Unlike you, I'm not good at pretending. I know it felt _good_." He admitted and tried to gauge the raven's reaction. He was watching him back intently, but this time Naruto couldn't fathom what he might be thinking. "That's with me now."

Sasuke's now unreadable gaze stayed on him for another long, silent moment in which the blonde tried to hold back that rising wave of panic. "Okay…" he said with a nod, in an exasperatingly calm voice. "Then maybe we should do it again."

_Okay_, he had lost him there. "… Do what?"

The Uchiha _couldn't _have been _that_ composed- it was _inhuman_. "Kiss." He said simply.

Naruto blinked uncomprehendingly for a moment, before beet-red embarrassment washed over his features. "_Wha_-?!" he chocked out the single, half-uttered word belling in the confines of his mind. He shook his head, almost like he was hoping that its contents would fall back into place. "How is doing _that _going to help with anything?!"

A couple of things floated in the wobbly sphere of perception that was presently his brain. One was that, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he would be attracted to a sadistic bastard like Sasuke. Maybe it was one of those things that people were supposed to think of this as a gift and avoid shaking the box until it was time to open it. _Then _get justly scared about its contents. The other was that, despite the scare and the sadistic-bastard part, he wasn't too opposed to kissing him again. Suppose that answered Iruka-sensei's question. He rolled his eyes at himself, before getting startled when the Uchiha spoke again.

"This may be a fluke." He said in that same quiet, brutally calm tone.

The raven might as well had been speaking gibberish. "A fluke?" he reiterated after a moment, under a disbelieving golden scowl. Could something feel like _that_- _that_ agonizing, _that_ gratifying- and be spurious? "You really believe that?"

Whether he was unwilling to answer or didn't know _what _exactly he believed was impossible to tell. Dark brows drew together into a frown as his enigmatic gaze dropped to the rocky ground beneath his feet. "Maybe it was just a reaction to the odd circumstances or the stale air." He reasoned ineffectually. "In any case, it might not have meant anything and we can just get past it." he continued, eyes snapping to Naruto, who felt very indecisive and probably looked it. Sasuke exhaled slowly, almost as if he was steadying his breathing. Maybe he had resolved that it was time to take a step forward and stop taking time for granted. "I don't want to lose you over this. I won't." He said, his tone no longer quiet and guarded- and becoming firmer as he added. "I can't."

_I won't._ That had landed almost like a stab- one that didn't exactly hurt, but flawlessly hit its target just the same. Because Naruto had been longing to hear something- anything- like that, even before any of this had happened._ I can't_. But this one felt entirely surreal- that there was this one thing that the powerful, proud Uchiha could not do and it was losing _him_. It was improbable, mindboggling and made his heart beat insanely fast- so fast that he thought it just might give out on him if Sasuke moved any closer- but a moment later he realized that he was nodding in agreement.

Naruto moved in slowly, almost suspiciously, and noticed that Sasuke didn't seem to be jumping into this either. It was different this time- it was a _choice_, not some sort of haphazard interaction that just spiralled out of control. Whatever happened it would be for real and that meant that one of them would have to accept the defenceless spot of giving into this- whatever it was- _first_. It didn't seem like there could be a winner, yet, true to the nature of their relationship, that ultimate submission turned into a challenge. The stakes were higher than victory or defeat- what awaited them could be lasting discomfort and, most assuredly, heartbreak. Perhaps for both of them, but Naruto feared that it was really just going to be him- because it had _always _been him that was left behind.

So they watched each other the same way they used to before sparring- though, admittedly, there were aspects to the stand-off that made it significantly different. The way that, at close proximity, the pale skin shimmered with a flimsy coat of sweat, giving it an almost otherworldly glow under the last rays of the setting sun. The way the way the raven hair fell on the side of the Uchiha's face like heavy curtains that might hide this moment from the world. The way the light reflected in those beautiful charcoal eyes that kept flickering between his eyes and his lips. Yeah- this was a _fluke_ alright…

After a long moment of simply hovering a breath's space apart, Sasuke sighed in exasperation- "Usuratonkachi…"- and leaned in, crashing his lips on Naruto's.

For a while all that was there was an awkward stiffness and the sound of muffled, fast paced breathing. His eyes were wide open watching the Uchiha, who allowed his eyelids to fall lazily shut- entrusting the next move to him. Although he had known what was going to happen and had even agreed to it, all sorts of mental and emotional alarms went off in his head at the feel of those familiar lips against his- familiar, not because only Sasuke had ever kissed him, but because _he _had never forgotten the sensation. His traitorous body remembered too well, welcomed it too much. It was more than enough to scare him into a suspended state in which his mind refused to allow his body to follow through with what he had consented to. His body had gone rigid and he could tell that Sasuke was about to move away and call this _experiment_ over. This was it- fight or flight,

He had never chosen flight in the past.

Naruto closed his eyes and parted his lips- almost fearfully, preparing for an impact that he wouldn't see coming- melding into the kiss. The Uchiha seemed to tense up for a short moment- eyes fluttering in surprise- but then one hand curled at the back of his neck, clutching on strands of blonde hair pulling himself closer, his lips moving against his, greedy and demanding. It seemed like that was the only way that the dark boy knew to go about things. He realized that he didn't know what to do with his hands, that soared over Sasuke's back- in part because he really did lack experience, but also because he still couldn't wrap his mind around what was happening and was afraid that the little, fragile bubble that this moment had been allowed to exist in, would burst at the softest touch. Unintentionally, his fingers brushed over Sasuke's spine, who shivered, releasing a ragged breath into his mouth. And so he did it again- this time quite deliberately- the idea that he did have power over Sasuke after all, intoxicating him with the wildest of intentions.

After that, everything drifted to a shallow haze as the kiss deepened all too easily- which made no sense whatsoever. Fortunately for him, at the moment what little sense he never even had in abundance was fading into the eager, sloppy battle of the lips and tongues. It was all happening with an unforeseen ease that could be considered improper almost, because he had never thought that kissing a guy- _this_ guy, his _best friend_- could engulf him in such a languorous rapture. His heart beat faster, his breathing rose and fell rapidly and full drawn as he recognized that his heart had been aching for this feeling that he had experienced during their exchange in the cave, had been hurting that a cold wall that had replaced it, had been fearing that he might never experience it again. The sensation vying through him was consummate and his knees felt weak- so weak that he thought they'd give way any time now- but, to his immense surprise, it was Sasuke, who pulled him down with him. Even as his back lay safely flat on the rocky ground, there was a strange vertigo and a sense of free-falling as the comfortable weight of Sasuke's body evened across his torso, pressing hard against his- _grinding_ against him on some kind of basic, primitive instinct that soundlessly whispered of ways that this tension might find release.

The sensation was quite maddening, setting his every sense on the threshold of what _could be_, but not crossing it. Naruto grunted deeply inside his throat- in frustration, in pure need for something he had never even received before- and rolled his body, reversing their positions as he pinned Sasuke's wrists over his head. His laboured breathing cooled his lips that were rather tender and somewhat sore after the abuse of Sasuke's mouth. He looked down at the Uchiha, searching for all those unspoken responses to his mind's questions in those beautiful eyes and his heart missed several beats. Not too long ago, there was a _certain_ dream that he had and Sasuke had looked just like that- sans clothing. He blushed at the thought- and that immediate urge to explore how much of that dream was real.

Naruto grasped for a semblance of what his voice used to be, before the ache for Sasuke had spread through his body- and certain places in particular. "Any other bright ideas?" his breathing hitched a more than bit, making his words sound hushed.

More and more he was finding that Sasuke's patience was a fickle virtue that was swayed by his passions- so much so, in fact, that he needed to reel it back just a tad, or pieces of garment might be flying off very soon. Those pale, rough hands had been roaming the skin under his shirt, paying him back tenfold for the shivers he had invoked. He didn't remember if he had done the same. That little factoid lead him to another provoking insight- that there was just no trusting his own body when it came to Sasuke.

"No." Sasuke breathed huskily and reclaimed his lips.

What little time had been required for the raven to catch his breath enough to articulate a reply, had been just enough to alert him to his surroundings, their positioning and the fact that they had been at it for longer than it seemed. The sun was down. "Whah! Wait, Teme!" he said suddenly alarmed. "Not _here_!"

The last Uchiha blinked confused, not actually releasing him, as his pale hand remained clutched around the back of his neck, holding him firmly in place.

Naruto gestured to the side. "You _do_ remember that the _entire _village has a clear view of the Hokage monument, right? I want my face up here, but not like this." He looked around and cringed. "And on the Sandaime's head?! What were you _thinking_?!"

The dark boy's wide eyes got a mischievous gleam about them as he smirked. It wasn't what was _proper _and he was not supposed to _do_ it, not supposed to _like_ it and was most definitely something that went against _everything _he had been told to never, ever even think about by his esteemed, prissy family- and he was well on his way to giving it a shot- and enjoy it, too. Naruto found it strange how, apparently, if it was strictly taboo, completely forbidden or something that no one the Uchiha was related to would even consider for a millisecond, he was game- if not outright eager- to try blonde had never imagined that he would ever think of the word _exotic_ when describing Sasuke- or that he would be thinking of words to describe him in _this_ way.

The familiar smirk curved the edge of the raven's lips. "I wasn't _thinking_."

Maybe it was the torrent of sensations brought on by the kiss, or maybe the incomparable delight to discover that Sasuke did have a very naturally playful side about this- even as what the reply's effect was not amusement or even joy, but rather a _feeling _that pooled in the pit of his stomach, warm and liquid. He also realized that he had pinned the Uchiha down with a manoeuvre undemanding of guidance that had crossed through the dream into his reality. And same as that dream, the pale skin was slightly flustered, those startling eyes somewhat clouded over with the aftershock of their _exchange_, the raven hair looking lush, making him crave to touch it.

"What are you looking at, Dobe?" he asked then, about as breathless as in the dream, his voice coloured by something Naruto had never heard before. It sounded fragile- so much so that it was enthralling.

"You." He answered- and felt as though as he had been holding on to that word, like a breath that had been seeking release for an obscene amount of time and he could finally inhale again.

Like the dream- like a dream he had never realized he even had- Sasuke's flustered skin gained a more rosy hue as he blushed a little. "Usuratonkachi…" he blurted- with a little anger that he had managed to make him blush, some affection, but mostly an attempt to seize his- presently unattainable- typical cool.

So maybe they wouldn't be caught dead holding hands or anything of the sort. There were a thousand reasons why this could not work- funny how ridiculously little such not-so-ridiculous numbers meant in life. In feelings. Because for all those thousands of reasons why they shouldn't even be entertaining the notion, there was only one that mattered: neither of them knew and they both wanted to know. He wanted to explore this bizarre feeling to its deepest, most secret reaches- wanted to get used to the dark, dark eyes looking at him without holding back, with no more secrets, always conveying so palpably what he felt in those moment. By the way Sasuke's blush stubbornly remained in place, he knew that the Uchiha knew what he was thinking. He knew that he shared that yearning- really knew for the first time in so many years- and wanted to know more, everything there _was_ to know. Maybe, at last, they could read each other's mind.

And there was a matter to be addressed. Sasuke was the first to approach it. "Kakashi hasn't moved out yet." He said with meaning.

Naruto's face lit up with a blush, then fell a little as his mind started to catch up with the world. "I promised to drop by Iruka's tonight…" he said regretfully, replying to the raven's unspoken implication that they meet at his place. "There's no telling when I'll get home." A part of him was quite uneasy with the idea of letting things cool off. Sasuke's alone time thinking was a recipe for disaster. "Tomorrow then?"

It seemed though that maybe he was worrying too much, because the Uchiha nodded absently with a small- almost shy- smile, before charcoal eyes met cobalt blue intensely. "Now what?"

Naruto rolled to lie on his back next to Sasuke, eyes turning towards the sky, feeling exhausted, yet all too animated. "I don't know."

There was a moment of silent, before he reluctantly reached for the blonde's hand and said. "Let's find out together… ne, Naruto?"

It wasn't a passing touch and the choice of words wasn't random. The pale hand stayed on his- surprisingly warm and rougher than he had ever realized it was- squeezing slightly as Sasuke quoted his own urging words from about a year ago. So maybe, just this once, they could hold hands for a while.

"Ah." He said, blushing a little as he squeezed back, feeling the dawn of a smile that warmed his lips only for Sasuke.

Right then, just for a while, that moment seemed infinite and they had all the time in the universe. Lying underneath the shadows of innumerous rising constellations neither could name, Naruto felt alone- and for once it was all right, because he was alone with Sasuke. Though this had never been what he had imagined, it felt _right_ somehow and all those things that he was never able to explain were melding into it, like raindrops in a vast ocean, whose tides and ebbs had careened him to this moment.

He stole a quick look at the Uchiha who lay still- eyes reflecting the prickles of light that were the stars, darkening under the night sky, as his pale skin gave off a silver shine under the moonlight- still firmly holding on to his hand and smiled a little.

The only thing he felt more deeply than that startling need for the Uchiha, was his need for him to exist in his world. Sasuke was there- breathtaking, back, _alive_. Maybe he could even say _his. _As long as he could think that, as long as wherever missions might take either of them, _both _of them returned _there_- home, to each other- he knew that he could deal with anything. Somewhere along the line, Sasuke had become what gave his life meaning and, judging by the way his hand was falling asleep in the Uchiha's tight grip, the feeling was not one-sided.

As long as they had each other, they'd be alright.

~ Owari~

* * *

And with that this part of the story ends. I have mentioned this before… probably… but from here, there will be two oneshots that will deal with "and then what happened?". The first one will be Sasuke's pov and the other Naruto's pov. T&E was about getting the boys together and I believe I owe you the "being together" part. They are meant to provide closure for you guys and wean me off a bit more easily… I have been writing this for almost 2 years. Wow… O.o

Many thanks to ALL of you who took the time to read my story and have been patient with how long these last chapters took, whether you reviewed or not. TONS of huggies to my reviewers, who dealt with all my yapping and blabbing in my replies. This was SO much fun! I hope that you approve of the way I leave it off and I promise to write the oneshots soon as possible.

Take good care… Kisses and Huggies to you all.

Ja, ne?

M.


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